Canon Fodder

CHAPTER 154 TRADING PLACES

The 6th Floor of Impel Down was huge. At least 150 feet tall I wasn’t sure why it was so big until I saw the giant cages at the rear of the room. Huge figures in dark cells stood in the far back. This was where they held the giants. I hadn’t really seen any actual giants yet. But I knew my crew had. The biggest one I had been against was Oars. And that was a zombie version. 

I slunk back behind the escort for Hancock. The most beautiful woman in the world quickly caused an uproar for the men and women trapped in the lowest hell in the world. They screamed obscenities at her. 

Hancock was used to this sort of talk. I considered disposing of a few, but knew the majority of them would die in the coming hours. Magellan yelled at the especially vulgar ones. When they didn’t calm down he turned his arm into dark purple poison. Throwing it at the idiots. 

“You people forget!” Magellan roared. “I have sole discretion on whether I think you deserve to live or not.” The men who were covered in poison began to melt from the power of it. 

“An antidote” “someone help me!” “Jackass!” They yelled as they began to die quickly. 

“No! The rest of you best remember who is in charge here!” He breathed out, relaxing. “Boa Hancock, say what you need to say,” Magellan said pointing at a cell. Inside I noticed the big Jimbei. He was a blue fishman. Beaten and shackled to one side of the cage he stared at the group angrily. 

On the opposite side was Portgas D. Ashley. Tan skin, longer black hair than her poster, it was down to her collarbones. She wore a simple red shirt that barely held in her C-cup breasts. With 6-pack abs and thin muscular arms shackled to the wall she appeared strong. But she was beaten up. Bloody gashes, deep bruises, and ragged breath escaping her I doubted she had received any first-aid since her fight with Blackbeard. 

But she wore a big smile. “Hancock, my love,” Ash said. Her eyes sparkling as she eyed the woman. “Of all the people I wanted to see before my death. You were the one I wanted here the most.”

“Can we have a moment?” Hancock asked the group. I doubted any of them questioned the truth of her words now. 

“2 minutes,” Magellan said, backing up.

She nodded as they stepped back. The rest of the prisoners cowed by Magellan, they were quiet. Happy for at least some drama from 2 beautiful women. 

“I came to apologize,” Hancock admitted. She didn’t look around as if looking for me. But stared straight at Ash. “Last we spoke. We had different ideals.”

“I remember,” Ash said. “I wanted you with me, and you wanted to stay away.”

“That’s not-“ Hancock said. But stopped from elaborating. Taking in a breath she relaxed herself. “I met someone. Someone just as reckless as you. Perhaps moreso.”

“Good for you, came to gloat?” Ash asked. 

“No,” Hancock admitted. “I came to tell you I am sorry. And that you were right. I was too stubborn back then. Too focused. I am sorry that we ended the way we did.”

“And now I’m dead,” Ash scoffed. “Too late to do much about it.”

“I don’t know about that,” Hancock whispered. Almost too low to hear, but I noticed Firefist had heard it as well. “Goodbye Ashley. I will see you again.”

Hancock turned but I pinched her butt. “Goodbye my love,” I whispered. “I’ll see you soon.” She blushed. Licking her lips she nodded and headed over to Magellan. The group walked back to the lift and were soon out of there. 

“Old girlfriend?” Jimbei asked. 

“Shut it, fishman,” Ash growled. “Why the hell are you here anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be with your fellow Shichibukai?”

“I’m here because of you,” Jimbei spat. “Your old man at least.” Ash stiffened. Not understanding. “Whitebeard.” Ash relaxed. “Back before him, Fishman island was where all the pirates traveled through to get to the New World. It was a lawless time. Mer and fishfolk kidnapped and killed daily. Then Whitebeard stepped in. Claimed we were under his protection. Overnight the place became civilized once more.”

I had forgotten that. Back when the Straw Hats got to Fishman Island Whitebeard was dead. It was under Big Mom’s protection. I didn’t want to let Whitebeard die. My plan should see him alive. I wondered what else would change.

“Yeah, the old man is pretty great like that,” Ash said. “Better than my old man. That’s for sure.” 

“I’ve never heard of Portgas. Who is your father?” Jimbei asked. Simply making conversation. I decided to sit down and wait. The area was dark, no one noticed a thicker shadow. The others in the cages had quieted down. Those people Magellan poisoned, breathing their last breaths, it was a sobering moment for the rest of them as they accepted they were never leaving this place. 

“Ha, no, Portgas is my mom’s name,” Ashley said. “My dad…was a deadbeat. He decided to give up and die. Without a word.” 

“What?” I asked, a little upset. Both Jimbei and Ash turned to me. “Your dad died louder than anyone.” 

“Who's there?” Ash spat. 

“Aaaaa ghoooooost,” I whispered eerily as I laid on the floor, unworried about them hearing me.

“No, seriously,” Jimbei said. 

“I’m a ghost,” I said. “The ghost of…Christmas past.” 

“Christmas? What the fuck is that?” Ash asked. 

“Doesn’t matter,” I grumbled, enjoying this way too much. “I am here to discuss your sins. We have plenty of time, so let’s get comfortable. Jimbei…your sins first.” I looked at the fishman. He appeared rather scared as he noticed the dark area where I was. He perhaps believed I was really a ghost. 

“Let’s see, your life….has been….boring,” I said. I laid back, staring up at the ceiling. 

“What? I’ve done lots of-”

“Following?” I asked. “Yes, you have. First you were in the Fishman royal guard, correct? Then Fisher Tiger shows up and you break your oath to the army to follow him. A pirate? How cliche. Fighting against the humans that oppress you. Only now fighting in their neighborhood, rather than protecting your own people and country? Your sins are many. Letting the queen die? You most of all deserve death.” 

“A human did that!” He roared angrily. 

“Did they?” I asked. “Did you see it? No, Hordy Jones killed a human near the area. Jones said they did it. Did you get a confession from the human? No, you believed the fishman without question. A fishman that expressed their hate for humans daily. What better way to keep the fish people at war with humans than to keep the vote going?” 

Jimbei stared in my general direction in stunned silence. A deep voice laughed from behind Jimbei. I rolled on the ground until I saw who it was in the other cage. Another Shichibukai, Crocodile. The man that I helped put in that cell. 

“Shut it, Crocodile,” I spat. “You have no room to talk. How many years did you try to take over a country? 4, 5? Just for a group of kids to waltz in and end your plans.” That shut him up. “Now quiet down, or I will bring up your sins and history with a certain gender changing devil-fruit user.” The man choked. I had no idea what his history with Ivankov was. But Ivankov knew something about him. I read a fan theory once that said Crocodile was a woman and asked to be changed to a man for some reason. But it was never confirmed. 

I rolled back to the door of Ash and Jimbei’s cell. “Do you understand your sins, Jimbei?” I asked. 

He was quiet. Thinking a long time. Eventually he whispered, “No.” 

“Your sins were, you never changed,” I said. “Despite your queen begging you to accept humans. Despite Fisher Tiger not wanting to kill humans. You still hold hate in your heart for them. Very sad. So many people changing around you. So many asking you to change. And yet you don’t.” 

“I-I-I tried,” Jimbei said. “But so much-” 

“So much what? So much pain and death? Have you never been to an island on the Grand Line? There is pain and death everywhere. People hate you for being different. People hate each other for not being the same. Hate knows no race, Jimbei. Remember that. Hordy Jones killed your queen. If you don’t believe me, ask the princess herself. Shirahoshi knows the truth.” 

“What?! She-she can’t,” Jimbei said. 

“Oh she can,” I said. “Unlike you, Princess Shirahoshi listened to her mother. Taking her last words to heart. Do you know what they were, Jimbei?” The fishman had tears in his eyes as he shook his head. “The queen’s last words were for her children to forgive whoever killed her. So that is what the princess did. A far greater sacrifice than anyone could ask for.” 

I knew all of this from the manga of course. After the 2 year time skip there would be drama in Fishman Island. I doubted this would change anything, but I was bored. 

“Now you, Firefist Ash,” I said, turning to the woman. 

“Not interested,” she said quickly. 

“You can’t say that,” I said. “I’m the ghost of Christmas past.” 

“Yes, I can. Not interested in whatever bullshit you’re playing at,” Ash said. From the state of Jimbei she didn’t want to become an emotional wreck. 

“Well too fucking bad you dumb bitch,” I said. “Everyone needs an existential crisis right before death. And I’m yours. Now buckle up, buttercup. I don’t care if you’re prepared to die or not.” 

I quieted, trying to think where to go with this one. I knew a lot about Firefist Ace. I hoped it applied to Ashley too. She didn’t appear to care though. It was time to drop a bombshell first.

“First of all, Sabo is not dead,” I said.

“What?!” She asked, brought out of whatever passive reaction she had prepped, she was full on shocked. “That’s not true.” 

“Oh it is,” I said. “Do you remember him dying? Your brother? He was hit hard in the head. But a certain someone happened upon him. Nursing him back to health. Sabo recovered but has amnesia.” 

“That’s impossible,” Ash said. 

“Just like a ghost?” I asked. 

“You aren’t a ghost,” she said confidently. 

“You’re right, I’m not,” I said. “But Sabo is alive.” 

“What the fuck!” She yelled. “Why this fucking game?” 

“Because you both have your heads up your asses!” I yelled back, but kept the shadow up. “You talking about your oh so awful father. And you Jimbei, talking about how Whitebeard saved your people. I swear to god every time I ever read that stupid ass Fishman Arc your people were standing around with their thumbs up their asses while everyone else did their stupid dirty work.” 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jimbei growled angrily. 

“Fuck, forget that,” I said. “Off topic. Anyway, where was I…oh right. Sabo. He is in the revolutionary army under Dragon himself.” 

“Dragon?” Ash asked. “You don’t mean…” 

“I do,” I said. “Sabo still hated the ruling class of his family. Though he lost his memories he wanted to fight against injustice.” I tried to remember where the hell I was going. “Uhhh, fuck. Where was I…Dammit.” I pulled a knife out of my back pocket. Putting it in the lock I began to move it around until the lock opened. 

Opening the door I stepped in then relocked the door. Walking to the wall between Jimbei and Ash I dropped the chakra shadow. 

“What the shit!” Ash yelled. “Who the fuck are you?”

“The ghost of Christmas past,” I said. “Are you fucking deaf? Or just stupid?” 

“I’m gonna kick your ass is what,” she said trying to kick at me, but was a good 10 feet away. 

“Good luck there, Firefister,” I said. “That was a sweet reunion with Hancock by the way. I can’t help but think about the fun times you girls had. I’m guessing with you there things got nice and hot.” 

“I’m going to skull fuck your eye hole when I burn your insides out you fucking pervert!” She yelled. 

“Oh damn, you sure she didn’t break up with you because of the language. Kiss your girlfriend with that mouth? Oh no, you don’t, you broke up,” I said laughing. Her eyes bulged as she continued to try to kick me, but the seastone cuffs on her held strong. I sat down, smiling widely. I was getting an Evelyn vibe from her. I was rather enjoying teasing her. 

She kicked and tried to get at me a few more times, but eventually tired out. I sat waiting patiently. “Jimbei, you okay?” I asked. 

“Who are you?” He asked. 

“Oh right, Weston Watanabe,” I said. “We haven’t really talked roles on the ship but I consider myself the unofficial first mate of the Straw Hat Pirates.” That perked Ash up, Crocodile too. 

“Weston!” The ex-Shichibukai growled from the cell next to us. “You fuck! I’ll kill you!”

“Shutup Crocky,” I said. “Still pissed about that whole Mr. Half thing?” He growled. “Guess so. Calm it down, or I’m leaving you here to rot too.” That shut him up.

“What?” He asked. 

“I’m breaking ol’ Firefist out of here,” I said. 

“What? Why?” She asked, still angry at me. 

“Um because you're my captain’s sister, duh,” I said. “Why wouldn’t we try to break you out?” 

“We?” 

“Of course, why wouldn’t Luffy be here?” I asked. 

“Luffy’s here?” She asked, worried and excited. 

“Well not here here, but here. Sorry I didn’t trust him in my shadow. I can cover my breath and presence, but he’s not so subtle,” I said. “He’s upstairs.” 

“He was captured?!” Ash raged. 

“No, god, shut up,” I said. “Look, Luffy and I snuck in here. I followed Magellan down earlier. Luffy is making his way down floor by floor. He should be able to make it with some luck.” 

“God dang that idiot,” she mumbled. “He should know it’s impossible.” 

“Well, unlike you, he hasn’t given up on you,” I said. That quieted her. The grimy and bloody woman staring at me. “Why do you think I’m talking to you? I know when someone has given up.” I had seen it enough torturing people in my Genjutsu. 

“What the fuck do you know?” Ash asked. 

“I know who your dad is. Who your grandpa is. Who your brother’s are. I know a lot about you, Ash. And I know if you don’t get your head out of your ass. You will die,” I said.

“Who cares?” She growled. “I’m a fucking cursed-” 

“My captain cares!” I yelled. “You aren’t cursed. Who cares who your dad is? Literally, right now, only about 10 people in the world know. You know who I was talking to less than a week ago? Silvers Rayleigh. Have you ever met him? Probably the one man in the world that knows your dad better than anyone. A man, that when he finds out who your dad is, will probably show up to try to save you too.” 

That quieted her. We sat in silence for a while. A long while. Longer than I meant to since I fell asleep. So much going on I had said what I wanted to. Tried to smack some sense into her. Given her the Robin and Nami treatment…pre-sexual encounters. 

I woke up to find Ash still sitting there thinking. Quiet and introspective as she went through her whole life. When I felt she had enough I said, “Jimbei, I meant what I said about Hordy Jones.” 

“How can you know that?” He asked. 

“Haki,” I lied. “Ask the princess when you see her.” 

“Crocodile,” I said, moving closer to his cell. “I will not be freeing you. But Luffy will be down here soon. He will free you. So don’t tell my secrets.” He growled. “Whitebeard is going to be at the execution. A great place to kill him, trust me.” He quieted. 

I turned back to Ashley. “Okay, sleep sleep time for you,” I said. 

“Wh-what?” She asked, brought out of her thoughts. 

“I am going to take your place for the execution,” I said bluntly. “You will be safe and sound in here. Luffy should be here eventually. Tell him I’ll be pissed if he doesn’t save me.”

“Wh-” She tried to say but I touched her head, putting her to sleep with Genjutsu. I began messing with the manacles on her arms. Releasing her hands she dropped limply. Dragging her over to Jimbei I looked him up and down. For some reason I had thought he was in a different cell, not the same. 

“Can we hide her on you somewhere?” I asked. 

“Are you really taking her place?” Jimbei asked. 

“Of course,” I said. “My captain would be sad if this bitch died.” I looked him over. He was a huge man. He was my height sitting down while I stood. There were 2 giant chains criss crossing over his body holding him there. He wore a large poncho shirt, and a black robe jacket. “I’m just going to hide her here.” I grabbed his jacket and put her much smaller body inside. Resting her against the wall and his body. “She will wake up if you say the words ‘Baby shark dodododo’.”

“Seriously?” Jimbei asked. 

“Yeah seriously,” I admitted. It was simple enough to make the chakra attuned to words. “Don’t do it until her brother is here though. Got it?” 

“Why are you doing this?” Jimbei asked. 

“I just said-” 

“No, trusting me?” He asked. 

“Oh, Jimbei. You’re a good guy,” I said. “Despite what I said, above all, I trust you to keep your word. Because you know what happens when people don’t. Wait for my captain. You will like him, trust me. Do this for me, alright? Keep my captain’s sister safe,” I said. He nodded slowly. 

“Good.” I did the hand seal for a transformation jutsu and turned into the exact replica of Ash. Scratches, boobs, blood, and all. “Let’s do this.”