Beers and Beards: A Cozy Dwarf Tale

Book 2: Chapter 28: Tom

We stood outside of a nondescript single level dwelling on a sidestreet. Aqua and I had walked here in silence, broken only by the occasional querulous bleat from Penelope. Aqua seemed to have a lot on her mind, which was understandable.

Now that we were here, and the moment was upon us, I really did want to have some idea of what was going on before walking into the lion’s den.

“Ahem. Soooo…. yer dad.”

Aqua let out her breath with a *whoosh*. “Yeah, dad. Tom. Tom Bluebeard. We’re from a long line of Bluebeards, though most live spread out in the far reaches of Crack. We’re the only two in Minnova as far as I know. My father moved to the city when he was young in order to attend the local branch of Archis Academy.”

“A relocation for education, eh? That’s just like home.”

“He met Jeremiah there and the two of them became good friends. They took almost all their classes together, studied together, worked out together, did varsity hitball together. They met my mum and Annie’s mum there too. They were all from small clans except for Jeremiah. So when Jeremiah left to take over the Goldstone family brewery, everybody went with him.”

“Nobody wanted ta stay and become a mage?”

Aqua shook her head. “No. It’s a lot of work. You have to really want it Pete. Most just stay long enough to say they were students. It’s prestigious.”

“Berry learned it fast enough.” I grumbled.

“Berry… is doing something I’ve never heard of.” Aqua’s mouth drew to a line. “I don’t know if it’s just easy, or she’s just that good.”

“She’s Archis’s Chosen Catalyst. She may have cheats.”

“Maybe. I feel like Archis would want her to figure it out on her own. He is the God of Knowledge.”

“It doesn’t need to be that. He could have given her a better mind, a better memory, or simply fed her the basics. She says he didn’t give her much, but that may not be necessarily true. She may not even know he did it, though that seems more on brand for Barck.”

We both stood in silence and looked at the door again.

I raised my bushy eyebrows questioningly and coughed.

Aqua started. “Where was I?”

“Everyone went to tha Goldstones.”

“Right. Joining up with one of the big clans, even as a worker, is a big deal you know. Back in the day, the Goldstones were pretty influential. The clan patriarch, Slate Goldstone, was Jeremiah's father, and he ran the Goldstone Brewery with his extended family. Jeremiah was his heir, and was being groomed to take over the clan. Mom was really proud of dad; he became Jeremiah’s head assistant."

Nowadays, the Goldstone compound was almost completely empty. The only people living there were John, Johnsson, Jeremiah, and Annie. That didn’t bode well for this story.

Aqua continued. "Jeremiah and Lazuli, that’s Annie’s mom, and my parents got married a few years later. I was born right around the same time as Annie, and we grew up like sisters at the brewery. Watching everyone brew every day was like watching the glorious history of the dwarves unfold in front of our eyes.”

“What happened? And do you want to talk about it inside?” I glanced behind us. We weren’t on a busy street by any means, but there was enough for an audience.

Tears sprang to Aqua’s eyes and she wiped them away. “No. Mom doesn’t like hearing this story. She can’t bear to remember it. That's why she never comes around the brewery. It happened fairly recently, about fifty years ago. Slate had brought everyone on a beer delivery to the mines. He did it once a year, to make sure we all learned the route. And on that day, a monster wave lead by an Elite horrorgourd emerged from Greentree. and attacked the defensive lines.”

I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach. I could see where this was going. “A monster wave… is that like a monster stampede? I know there were worries about one.”

Aqua shook her head. “A monster stampede is when nearly the entire dungeon empties out. A wave is when a single powerful monster or two get chased out of their territory, or decide to try their luck outside the dungeon. They're not uncommon. That’s why there’s all those defenses outside of Greentree.”

“What happened?” I whispered.

“Horrorgourds eat the spirits of their victims. They drain you dry until you’re nothing but a mindless spark. Then they slowly digests your spirit, and if given enough time you are lost to the Nether, never to be reborn. They're the most dreaded monsters of Greentree, and usually stay deep within the Nightmare Tangle. Any time one shows up the Guild puts a massive bounty on it.”

I shivered. By Midna’s Mangy Mullet, no wonder it was called a horror. To have your soul annihilated was the single most dreaded event on Erd, one even the Gods didn't do lightly. And here was a monster that just… ate your soul!?

I licked my dry lips. “Did… did it attack the caravan?”

Aqua nodded. “It was accompanied by a small army of pitchervores and mushfolk.The pitchervores melted the defensive walls, and while the adventurers were busy holding back the mushfolk, the horrorgourd and its minions walked right past. It happened so fast… It fell upon us like a cave in.” She shivered.

“Hold on, ‘us’, you were there!?”

“Yes. Me and Annie. Almost everyone. Jeremiah had brought the entire clan except for John and Johnsson, and Richter and his da. I still see it in my nightmares - an enormous pulpy orange body thrice the size of a wagon, held aloft by writhing green tendrils in a mockery of limbs. Eyes that burned with a yellow fire and that black, sucking, void of a mouth.” She shivered.

I put my hand on her back. A few curious passersby were giving us ‘the stare’. “You don’t… you can skip this part if you want.”

She shook her head. “No. I’m proud of what happened. What they all did. It’s just hard to talk about. Jeremiah grabbed me and Annie and shoved us into a spare barrel. Then he stashed us under the cart. ‘Stay here, you’ll be safe.’ He said. Dad and Lazuli charged the horrorgourd. They just needed to buy time, see? Until the adventurers could come to our rescue. They may not have been the best, but they were dwarves trained at Archis Academy; they could fight better than most. The rest of the Goldstones formed a line against the smaller monsters.”

“What happened?”

“I didn’t see the rest. I just remember the screaming, and the noises. The shuddering ground. The crunching and tearing of flesh, and the sound of good dwarven steel slicing through tubers. Then there was the thump of magic and warcries followed by a moment of silence. I can remember the gut churning terror as the barrel opened. But it was Jeremiah, more exhausted than I’d ever seen him before.”

“The horrorgourd?”

“Dead. The adventurers dealt with the rest of the wave then came and finished it off. They tell me dad was a hero, and fought like a [Berzerker], same with Lazuli. If not for us, the horrorgourd would have hit the other travelers like a pick through limestone. The Goldstone clan stood till the end, sacrificing themselves to safeguard one small barrel under a cart.” Tears flowed openly from Aqua’s eyes now, streaming down her beard.

“And Lazuli and Tom?”

“The horrorgourd sucked Lazuli’s spirit out completely. She was left as a spiritless spark. I heard… I heard Jeremiah sent her body to its final rest. Dad suffered serious damage to his spirit, and mom lost her leg to a pitchervore’s acid. The rest of the Goldstone clan was dead, to the dwarf. One of Minnova’s biggest clans, destroyed in a few minutes.”

Dear Gods! Poor Aqua, poor Annie. Poor Jeremiah! No wonder he was such an emotional heavyweight. He’d suffered in ways I couldn't imagine.

The Canadian in me had to ask. "Did the adventurers or city take any responsibility for the damage? Did you get any monetary support, I mean.”

“Aye. They kept Jeremiah afloat until he had the brewery running again, and they provided this home for us and a prosthetic for mom. They got us a [Hypnotist] for dad, but the damage was far too great.”

“They didn’t help any more than that!?”

“We don’t need pity. We’re Bluebeards!” She said, as though that explained everything. Knowing dwarves… I guess it kind of did.

“But why keep it a secret?”

“Habit, I guess. A lot of people consider those with a crippled spirit to be cursed, or damned by the Gods. An unclean thing that should be sent to reincarnate and live properly. We keep it quiet.”

“Ouf.” I thought back to how a lot of the miners had avoided me initially in the mine; when they’d thought my amnesia was due to a damaged spirit. I’d thought it was because I wasn’t ‘dwarfy’ enough, but now it looked like there was more to it.

Aqua squared her shoulders. “Well, now that I’ve told you everything. Let’s head inside. Just a warning though, mom’s a [Saint].”

“She’s that nice, eh? Why warn me?”

“No, she’s a [Saint].”

“Oh. Ya'know, here’s an example of where that Otherworlder thing can cause wonderful little misunderstandings… owch!!” I jumped as a set of wicked teeth nipped at my ankle.

*Meeheeee!* [Translated from Prima Donna Goat] “Is this cad making you cry, young lady?”

—

We stood in an office much like the one at the Thirsty Goat. A large wooden desk covered in paper took up one side of the room, shelves were filled with beer paraphernalia like drinking horns and small kegs, and a small couch shoved against one wall was clearly meant for all-nighters.

A blue haired and bearded dwarf was seated at the desk, merrily writing away on a document.

He looked a lot like Aqua, with the same aquiline profile. His hair was an identical shade of blue, though it was in a more traditional knotted style compared to Aqua’s current ponytail.

Aqua stood beside me, watching her father work. He hadn’t turned around or seemed to notice us when we’d entered. I leaned in to see what he was working on.

The page was a mess, and he was scribbling what looked like random lines and squiggles.

Aqua coughed and he looked up, then smiled.

“Aqua!” He said. His accent was the cultured style I’d come to associate with Archis Academy graduates, but it was oddly slurred, and he seemed to need a moment to think on each word. “How… is… little girl?”

Aqua smiled. “Hi daddy. I brought a friend home to play.”

“That’s… good. Daddy… working. I’ll play … later.” He returned to his paper, finishing with a jerky flourish before starting on a new blank page.

Aqua led me from the room. “We let him continue on as though he was still working at the Goat. He’s stuck in that time, you see. He still thinks I’m a child, and I don’t think he even realizes that all the staff at the Thirsty Goat are new. A lot of the time we send him on errands to clients or suppliers who know and understand him, or give him ‘paperwork’ to do at home. It helps center him and keep him lucid. Annie still pays us because… well, because. And he does do the work you know. A lot of those errands are real.”

“That’s… I’m sorry, Aqua.” Well, the mystery of Tom had turned out a lot heavier than I ever could have imagined. Be careful what you wish for…

Aqua shook her head. “Dad would do it again in a heartbeat. We’re proud of his sacrifice. He’s a hero.”

She led me through the small dwelling to a set of stairs that led down into the stone.

“Mom’s making bimbleberry scones tonight. She’ll be a bit mad that I brought a friend without warning, but it should be fine.”

As it turned out, the Bimbleberry Scones were delicious. And Cithy Bluebeard would be a [Saint] in any world. Especially since she didn’t kick us out after Penelope crapped on her carpet.