The Red Hand

Chapter 139 – Lingering Trauma and Complications.

It took nearly three hours before Akagi calmed down enough to speak. Her attack hadn't fully passed, but she was no longer rambling uncontrollably. Though she was still a wreck. Kana brought her sister to the living room, where she was currently wrapped in a blanket sitting on Yumi's lap. She'd shrank down slightly to fit better and was clinging hard to the priestess.

"Well, you definitely blew past your previous best time of an hour." Kana tried to make a joke.

"Y-yeah... I'd rather not have, though." Akagi's eyes were still shaky as she was still quite anxious. “I-I'm just g-glad its over.”

"Can you talk about it? Telling us what you saw might help, and just speaking about it might make you feel a bit better." Yumi asked as she squeezed her.

{I hate seeing you in so much pain. I can feel it through our bond, just what happened?} (Yumi)

"You said you were alone, so what happened?" Kana asked.

{And what were you apologizing to me for?} (Kana)

"I-I woke up in our old house." Akagi explained. "I w-was back to being Rishia." Hearing that gave Kana an idea of what happened. "It was the day FWO l-launched, but FWO wasn't a thing, and I couldn't feel my powers. I had nothing. I was just a normal human, and even my shadow behind me was g-gone."

"I know how much you hated your life in the past, so I understand being forced back into it must have been traumatic." Kana sighed. "But it was just a dream. So-"

"NO!" Akagi shook her head. "K-Kana, y-you don't u-understand! I thought, I thought everything that happened in FWO and since was a dream! I was convinced that everything else was the dream and that I was now back to being in the real world!" Akagi continued. "It meant everything that made me h-happy was g-gone! And I was left alone in the world again!"

Kana thought for a moment. She knew Akagi was afraid of going back to her old self, but she still couldn't quite understand why the dream had such a negative effect on her psyche.

"I-I couldn't even feel Yumi!" Akagi squeezed the priestess harder. "It was g-gone. The connection, the warmth, all of it!" Akagi started to cry again. "Yumi was gone! And it hurt! It hurt so much to lose her! I thought I was going to die."

"AH!" Yumi understood why Akagi had such a bad reaction. "That would explain it." She sighed as she hugged Akagi back.

"What do you mean?" Kana didn't fully understand the connection between the two and figured it best for Yumi to explain.

"My Lord's soul and mine are connected, and we can always feel each other. It's a kind of slight warmth in our chests, it's not very noticeable, but we'd know if it was gone. It's meant to let us know the other is alive, and we can also ascertain some things about emotions and condition based on that feeling."

"And Onee-chan losing that was bad? I guess thinking you died would cause her severe grief, but..." Kana was still not convinced.

"It's much more than that, Kana." Yumi shook her head. "My lord is the senior partner in our bond, meaning that she views me as part of her and as something irreplaceable. She explained it to me like this. Once her kind bond with another soul, they cannot live without them."

{I hope she understands what I mean.} (Yumi)

"So she'd die without you?" Kana was still a bit confused.

{I don't recall her mentioning something like that. I know she said Yumi is important but...} (Kana)

"Not physically, but mentally." Yumi shook her head. "It's why the bond keeps me alive as long as my soul is intact. It's to prevent us from being permanently separated. However, if on the off chance that the junior partner is permanently destroyed, well..." She looked down at Akagi who was still shaking. "You get what you saw earlier. It's no wonder she was so distraught and why she freaked out so hard. The thought of losing me was simply too great for her to bare, and its a wonder she didn't fly into a rampage!” She gave a nervous laugh.

“Would she actually do something like that?” Kana asked nervously.

Yumi gave a wry smile. “ Lets just say that she told me once before that if I actually were destroyed, this world would not be around very long.”

{That's... that's not good.} (Kana)

“So what your seeing here is an understandable reaction to losing me, even if it was just a dream. Her kind are not meant to lose their other half and such a thing can have dramatic consequences on both her and the entire world." Yumi's explanation made things click with Kana, and she noted that keeping Yumi alive was of utmost importance.

"That makes sense, I guess. I don't fully understand everything about the bond, but I'll take your word for it." She nodded before looking at Akagi.

“But what was the rest of that about? Apologizing for making me watch and doing something to me?” Kana asked.

{Did something happen with me in the dream?} (Kana)

Akagi didn't want to answer that question, but some prodding from Yumi and Kana forced her hand.

“Before I answer.” Akagi glanced at her sister. “Promise me you won't be mad...”

“Mad? Why would I be mad?” Kana tilted her head.

“Promise me!” Akagi exclaimed which surprised her.

“Ok. Ok. I promise that I will not be mad by what you tell me.” Kana sighed.

Akagi gulped. “I... Kana... I think I hate you...”

Her sentence caused the entire room to go silent, and even Yumi stopped her petting.

“Excuse me?” Kana couldn't believe her sister's words. “C-can you repeat what you said? Because I don't believe I heard you correctly.”

“In the dream, once I'd convinced myself that I'd lost my powers and that Yumi as gone... I nearly killed you out of anger.” Akagi spoke without looking at her. “I was so angry with everything, that I decided to kill you before Shima and Taichi got home.”

“...” Kana couldn't muster up any words.

“I was going to do something horrific to you, and... and...” Akagi's entire body shuddered as she recalled that moment. “And it felt good... Its like I told you before, seeing you of all people made to fear me... in that moment when twelve-year-old you was cowering on the floor knowing what I was going to do... my entire body electrified.”

{I mean, I kind of figured she had lingering resentment towards me. So her having a subconscious desire to kill me isn't exactly that surprising. Especially since she actually DID try to kill me once before.} Kana listened as her sister spoke, but was trying to put things together in her mind.

“My Lord...” Yumi finally snapped out of her stupor and hugged Akagi. “Please tell me you didn't actually do something like that, even in the dream.”

“No, I didn't.” Akagi said through the hug.

“Well that's good at least.” Kana finally spoke. “Even if it was a dream, I'd rather not have you kill me if that can be prevented.

{I might have told her she could eat my soul if it would bring her happiness, but that doesn't mean I WANT to actually die if I can help it.} (Kana)

“Aren't you angry?” Akagi asked her sister. “Don't you hate me now?”

{I always told you that I'd never hurt you, but now... now I'm not so sure.} It might have been a dream, but in the moment Akagi was truly going to kill her.

“I promised you I wouldn't be mad.” Kana shook her head. “But more than that, its not exactly abnormal to have dreams where you kill people, or thoughts about doing so.” She continued. “Think back to when we were younger, and I asked you why you didn't despise me even though Mom and Dad hated you and loved me. You told me that it wouldn't be right to pass the blame on to me for what they did, but I always thought it was strange for you not to have resentment. I mean, we know for a fact that you do resent me and how much nicer I was treated by them, since well, you did try to kill me once before.”

Akagi flinched when she said that. “T-that...”

“Is in the past and I don't care.” Kana stuck up her hand to stop her sister from speaking. “I'll say it again, I am not angry at you or upset for your actions back then. Mom and Dad pushed you that far and they are responsible for what happened. Nor am I angry that you have such feelings towards me. It would be stranger if you didn't have a subconscious hatred of me, I mean siblings who aren't treated anywhere near as differently as we were can develop such feelings.” Kana gave a dry laugh. “I was the golden child who could do no wrong, and you were the black sheep who could never do anything right. I'd even go as far as to say you have every right to hate me.”

“But... I don't want to hate you...” Akagi said meekly.

“Those inner feelings will take time to address.” Kana said. “We've only been out of that house for less than a year, so there's no way your mind has healed that much in that sort time span. But I think moving forward, you need to talk to someone about your feelings and problems. Otherwise you're never going to address these issues and keeping them confined will only cause this to happen again.”

“I am not going to therapy!” Akagi exclaimed. She hated such things and didn't trust those people.

“Trust me, I know better than to try and send you to some shrink.” Kana laughed. “No one in the industry is trained enough to handle your problems.”

“Well fuck you too.” Akagi stuck out her tongue.

“I'm not a good person to speak to, since your feelings do involve me to a point, and Yumi isn't really suitable either.”

“Yeah, I have no idea what to do other than just sit and say its all ok.” Yumi gave a wry smile.

{Plus I'd just tell her to go smash things to feel better. Either that or let me pet you until the sad goes away.} (Yumi)

“So then who are you going to have talk to me? None of the family can handle that.” Akagi didn't know who Kana would suggest.

“Naomi.” Kana declared that her friend would be the one to do such things.

“What?!?” Akagi nearly jumped out of Yumi's lap. “Naomi can't do something like that!”

“She isn't exactly a therapist, and I doubt she can act like one, but out of all of us she is probably our best bet.” Kana said. “She knows you, but is also able to keep an objective mind about things and well, she wants to help you. This was actually something she originally brought to my attention a few weeks ago.”

“Really?” Akagi tilted her head.

“She told me that she wanted to try and set up a kind of venting session with you, and just allow you to talk to her about your issues. You and her one-on-one. I know it might seem strange, but after talking with her about it, and especially after tonight, I think its worth a try.” Kana explained.

{Naomi told us what she had Onee-chan do for her, and how she wants to repay the debt she feels she has, and I think this would definitely be helpful for both of them.} (Kana)

“I really want to say no, since Naomi is my friend and she shouldn't have to listen to my issues.” Akagi sighed. “But you're probably right. I've never really tried to do anything to help myself and have always just bottled everything up, something which isn't a good idea. This nightmare was probably the result of years of holding things in.”

“Then I'll talk to her tomorrow about setting things up. I'm not sure how much this will help, but its worth a shot.” Kana smiled.

“Yeah, thanks...” Akagi said as she snuggled up to Yumi.

“I'm glad to hear your trying to get better.” Yumi hugged her back.

“Now then, there's one more thing. What was that about making me watch? Was that related to killing me?” Kana wanted to dissect the dream in its entirety.

Akagi paled when she asked that question. “Ummmmm.”

{I have a feeling that it wasn't something good...} (Kana)

Akagi took a moment to answer before speaking quietly. "You watched me kill myself." Her words caused the two girls to freeze. “At the railroad crossing, the train came and I went explode...”

"Y-you killed yourself?!?" Kana couldn't believe her sister's words.

"What did you want me to do?!?" Akagi exclaimed. "I was back living as Rishia! I was alone, Kana! I had nothing, and Yumi was gone! Why would I want to remain in such a world?!?" To her that was the greatest hell possible.

{Asking me to live in such a situation would be like asking me to accept being tortured for the rest of my life!} (Akagi)

"So your first thought was taking your own life?!?" Kana was annoyed. "Why would you do something like that?!?"

"You don't understand anything, Kana!" Akagi yelled back. "Try being in my shoes! You go from being happy, having all the power in the world and having a loving family who accepts you for who you are, to waking up back in that miserable house with people who hate you!" Akagi continued. "I told you at school that day, that if I had to go back to such a life that I'd rather kill myself!" Kana did recall that, but thought it was a joke.

{Even still, why was ending your life something you just instantly jumped too?!?} (Kana)

"Please don't argue!" Yumi tried to calm the two of them down. "My Lord, understand that Kana is just upset with the thought of losing you like that. So try to understand that she's not angry at you for feeling like that, she's just aghast at the thought of you taking your own life." She explained.

“I-I guess, yeah... sorry for yelling.” Akagi apologized.

“And Kana.” Yumi turned to her. "Please understand that Akagi has gone through a lot, both in the past and just now. It's understandable that she'd be in severe distress over being sent back to her old life, especially when that means losing everything that she's come to love over these last few years. You know better than I just how it was in your home. Combine all that trauma with the consequence of our bond being broken, along with her instability from becoming a Demon Lord, and its not surprising that she'd choose to end her own life rather than exist in such a state." She brought Akagi's face to her own and rubbed against it. “It's all right my Lord, I'm right here and I won't be going anywhere.” Akagi cooed in her arms.

{Wow, I've never seen Yumi go all in like that.} (Kana)

"I understand that, but still..." Kana didn't like the idea that Akagi would so easily end her own life. "Getting past that, your words, made me watch, make me assume you did it in front of me.”

"Since it was back on the day of FWO, you were just a twelve-year-old kid. I asked you if you remembered anything about Yumi or Mika, and you said no." Akagi continued. "I got mad at you, tried to kill you, and stormed out of the house, telling you goodbye, and I went to the train crossing near the house. You know the one where that kid got his bike destroyed? When the train drove by well... you can fill in the rest. The last thing I saw was you sitting on your bike screaming, and that was it." Akagi got quieter as she finished. "I didn't want you to see that..."

"I-I'm glad I didn't have to see that." Kana sighed. "I can't imagine twelve-year-old me watching you dive into a train."

{Talk about scarring a kid for life.} (Kana)

"Yeah, trust me, it wasn't exactly fun on my end either." Akagi gave a dry laugh. "Thank god Tachi and Shima were away that weekend. Otherwise... there probably would have been a triple murder suicide.”

“I must admit, I'd hoped that becoming the Demon Lord and getting released would have helped with some of your, pardon the expression, inner Demons.” Yumi giggled at Kana's pun. “But I guess that was a false hope.”

"Yeah." Akagi gave a bitter smile. "Nothing will ever make me right. Like Alice... I'll have to live with my problems. There is no fixing them, and while I might make some of them better. You will never get me to be 100% normal, that's impossible."

{It really is sad that she has to suffer so much because of our parents.} (Kana)

"It's fine." Yumi said. "We're all here for you, no matter what. You're not alone. I'll never allow it."

Akagi remained silent.

"Do you feel better?" Kana asked.

"A bit." Akagi smiled. "I just need some time is all. You two should get back to sleep. Unlike me, you need it."

"I'm not going anywhere." Yumi shook her head. "You need me right now, and I can sleep later." She was adamant in her refusal.

"I'll be fine." Kana said as she yawned. "So don't worry about it."

{This isn't my first rodeo with you during the night, so its not exactly that big a deal.} (Kana)

Akagi looked at them and smiled. "Thank you."

The three girls then chatted in the living room until daybreak, with a small break for some breakfast. Akagi was still not feeling great, but curling around Yumi helped. She figured it would take the rest of the day for her to get back to normal, and Yumi canceled all other plans she had. Spending time with Akagi was the most important thing right now, and no one was going to tell her otherwise.

"Are you sure you'll be alright for school?" Akagi asked Kana as she got dressed.

"It's fine." Kana shrugged. "I got a bit of sleep, and it wouldn't be the first time I've missed sleep and gone to school." Akagi didn't want to let go of Yumi, as she was still wrapped around her in her rope-like form, so she came along with the Priestess who transported Kana to the front of the school.

The weather had improved now that March had arrived, but it was still a bit chilly outside. The three of them arrived in front of the school and saw a large crowd of students surrounding something.

"Alright, have a nice day." Akagi waved her off with a small tendril, which caused the two girls to laugh at how silly it looked.

"I'll see you later, Onee-" Kana was cut off when a few students screamed.

"He pushed her!" (Student A)

"He's so dead!" (Student B)

"Those girls are nothing but trouble!" (Student C)

Confused, Kana went over to see what happened, and as she did everyone backed away revealing Mika on the ground staring up angrily at Hito, with Naomi standing nearby in a state of shock.

"What's going on?!?" Kana rushed over to her friend. Mika had a small scrape on her knee but was otherwise unharmed.

"Hito came over and started arguing with us, and when Mika wouldn't take his crap, he pushed her on the ground." Naomi explained.

"You three need to leave this school!" Hito exclaimed. "You're all monsters! Each and every one of you!" Hito looked at Kana before turning back to Mika and Naomi. "I heard them talking about being able to use magic. I guess its no surprise that the monster is turning other people into freaks!" Naomi and Mika had still not undergone the procedure, but Naomi could cast some magic via her pact. "Your kind don't belong here. Ever since those freaks got back from FWO, they've caused nothing but trouble." A few of his friends nodded in agreement.

"Hito!" Miyako pushed through the crowd. "I thought I already told you that acting this way is unacceptable!" She was irritated with the boy.

"Screw you!" He told her off. "And why are you sucking up to them? Is it because you're afraid? Or because you're hoping to become a freak like them?" He thought it suspicious that she'd become more friendly with the three of them recently.

"Where do you get off acting like that?!?" Kana yelled. "You hurt Mika for what? Because she was excited to use magic? Hito, this world is changing, and things are going to be different which includes people being able to use magic. I understand it's scary, but acting like this will only make things worse!" Kana continued. "It's because of people like you that Libra grew so large, and why so many returnees have been forced into crime!” There were quite a few FWO survivors who'd turned to crime due to being cast out by family and society. “You cast them out for something that wasn't even their fault! They didn't ask to get these powers, and they didn't ask to be forced into a death game for all those years" She understood why he and the other students were afraid, but that didn't make it right.

"I want to use magic to help people with medicine." Naomi spoke up. "Is that so wrong? And Mika just wants to use it because she thinks it's fun. Is that a crime? Is it wrong to want to enjoy something so special?!?"

"Perhaps not, but what about the rest of us?" Hito gestured to the other students. "We each live in fear of what people with that power might do to us!" Libra's destruction had left a scar on the Japanese collective consciousness.

He turned to Kana. "Your monster of a sister could kill us all with a thought! And why are you defending her anyway? She's a Demon that eats people! How can you possible call a monster like that family? How can you cover for her?!?” He asked a question many wanted an answer to. Family or not, Kana's unrelenting defense of her sister was considered strange by many.

“She's my sister! Its not that I don't care about any of that, but I've just accepted that its part of who she is and that I can't do anything to change her!" Kana was getting increasingly angry with his comments. "Onee-chan's been through so much, and the least I can do is stay by her side. Besides even if she is a Demon, she's not a bad person! She doesn't attack people randomly, and she's not as bad as you make her out to be! You all likely never have to fear anything from her, and as long as you don't do anything stupid she'd never even notice you!” Kana fired back.

“You're crazy!” Hito laughed. “You'd defend a literal Demon and tell us that she's not so bad cause she eats only a few people, rather than all of us. What a joke! That's like saying the murder isn't bad because he only killed a couple people when he could have killed more!” He turned to Naomi and Mika. “I wouldn't be shocked if she did something to you two as well. Otherwise, what reason could you have to accept a monster like her? She's probably using some monster magic to control you and make you like her. Kana is a monster herself, so its understandable that she would back her, but you? Aren't you disgusted by Akagi? Don't you find her actions revolting?” It was strange that Mika and Naomi could be friends with Akagi, despite her past actions. But that was because they genuinely liked her, not because Akagi was controlling them.

“Akagi isn't a bad person, and she'd never control us like that!” Mika shouted. “Believe it or not, she's actually quite nice when you get to know her. She even saved my life twice, and she's been nothing but kind to me and my family! Sure she has some parts about her that are strange or even bad, but so what?” Mika had come to view Akagi as a close friend over these months. She'd seen the good and bad within the Demon and made her own decision about her. And that decision was and she wanted to be friends with her, Demon or otherwise.

“Exactly!” Naomi interjected. “Don't talk about her like she's some crazy maniac! You know nothing about her or who she is, and you have no right to pass judgment on her!” Naomi was especially defensive towards Akagi who she regarded as someone important to her.

“You're all crazy! We've only held our tongues so far because we didn't want to end up on the chopping block, but after everything that happened, with Libra and that monster, did you really think we would just accept you?!?" The other students either nodded in agreement or turned away. It seemed the resentment and fear ran deeper than the girls expected. "The three of you should just leave with that monster and never come back! Do you have any idea how awful it is to live in fear each day? Because of people like you!"