The Red Hand

Chapter 114 – The Contradictory Emotions.

The four girls headed into the kitchen one by one. Mika's dad was sitting drinking tea, while her mother was in the adjacent kitchenette preparing more. Akagi was strangely nervous as she entered the room, fearing that Mika's parents would freak out.

{Why am I so nervous? Why do I care so much about what they'll think of me?!?} (Akagi)

She'd been having these contradictory feelings since she'd been released, and was struggling to understand them. For some reason, she felt great sadness at the idea of Mika's parents being afraid of her, and was worried that such a reaction might cause Mika to distance herself.

{She's definitely freaking out on the inside.} Mika caught on to Akagi's internal struggle. {Akagi really can be kooky sometimes. But I guess it's understandable. I can't even imagine what's going through that mind of hers, but hopefully this will ease her worries just a bit.} She'd actually informed her parents of their arrival previously, and told them not to freak out about Akagi.

"Please have a seat. Mika's mother is making some tea for you all, and will done shortly." Mika's dad smiled.

The four of them took a seat, and Akagi sat across from Mika's father and next to Kana. Neither parent had made any comments yet, which was a good sign. After a few minutes, Mika's mother finished the tea and brought it over, pouring the girls a cup before taking a seat next to her husband.

"You must be Akagi." Her mother smiled. "It's nice to finally meet you. Mika's told us all about you over these past few months. My name is Shinobu Yuminaka, and this is my husband, Ken."

"It's nice to meet you." Ken smiled as he sipped his tea.

Akagi was a bit surprised by this normal greeting. "My name is Akagi Dumetor. I suppose you know very well what I am." Akagi pointed to her eyes. “But it's nice to meet the two of you, sorry it's taken me so long...” She was still nervous.

{Why am I acting so shy?!?} (Akagi)

{Man, she really is acting funny. But then again, this was kind of how she used to be, now that I think of it. It's kinda cute to see her all flustered.} (Kana)

"Indeed, we're very well aware of who you are." Shinobu chuckled. "I never imagined our daughter would be friends with a Demon or have two Yuki-Onna as girlfriends."

"Much better than those boys she used to bring around." Her father commented about a past boyfriend, which caused Mika to blush. “They we're always nothing but trouble.”

“Dad!” Mika cried out.

Akagi was taken aback by this normal interaction between her and Mika's family. She knew they were laid back, but they were sitting across from the Demon Lord and chatting like she was a normal person.

{H-how can they just be cool with me?!? I'm literally a monster!} (Akagi)

"Akagi." Ken calling our her name shocked Akagi out of her stupor. "Thank you for saving our daughter, truly." He and Shinobu bowed their heads which surprised Akagi.

{Oh?} (Kana)

"Yes, thank you." Shinobu thanked her as well. "If not for you, we would have lost her twice now. She told us how you rescued her from the military and how your ability protected her from the attack at the mall. So thank you for ensuring our daughter came home to us. We will be forever in your debt."

{EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!?} Akagi started freaking out inside and it took her a moment to collect herself.

"I-uh, there's no need to t-thank me." Akagi scratched her cheek. "Mika's my friend, so it's only natural to help her. There's no need to bow your heads or say you have some kind of debt to me." She was not expecting to be thanked and was caught off guard, stumbling a bit.

{She really is awful at this kind of thing isn't she?} (Naomi)

"Even so, thank you." Ken smiled. "We lost our son in the same game that trapped you, and so the thought of losing Mika as well is just..." His eyes grew sad.

"I don't even want to imagine that." Shinobu bit her lip.

{Definitely don't tell them I killed their son.} Akagi made a mental note.

{I feel awful inside that we're hiding the truth...} (Kana)

"I can imagine." Akagi nodded. "I've got people I'd be lost without too. Mika is one of them, she means a lot to me. Especially since I've never really had friends, and its nice to have someone willing to deal with a freak like me.”

{There she goes again, taking shots at herself.} (Naomi x Mika x Kana)

"Mika, you've got a good friend, make sure you don't lose her." Shinobu said.

"I-I don't plan to..." Mika was a bit embarrassed. “ Plus my girlfriends live with her, gotta keep on good terms with their boss.”

“Pfffff.” Kana put out a small laugh.

Seeing how calm Mika's parents were, Akagi decided to say something. “Can I ask the two of you something? If you don't mind.”

"Go ahead." Shinobu smiled.

"Why are you both so... calm?" Akagi tilted her head. "You know what I am, so how can you just act so normal?"

"Is there a reason we shouldn't?" Shinobu asked.

“Yeah, why wouldn't we treat you like any other friend of Mika's?” Ken agreed.

"A reason you shouldn't?" Akagi was nearly rendered speechless. "I'm the Demon Lord! I exist to kill people and destroy this world! I'd even go so far as to say that I enjoy taking people's lives. What about that shouldn't concern you?!? You should be shooing me out of the house with a broom, or even screaming and running away while telling me not to come near your daughter! Not having a nice happy conversation with me like... like I'm normal!"

{Seriously! Just how easy going are these people?!?} (Akagi)

{Alright mom and dad, go get her!} Mika'd been preparing for this moment.

"I suppose that may all be true, but you're not doing any of that now, are you?" Shinobu asked. "You've come to our home to spend time with our daughter and her friends, and you've been nothing but kind to her and our family. Yuzu and Suzu have told us so much about you, and the impression we got from them was that you were a good girl with a lot on your plate. I see no reason to judge you on what you are rather than who you are."

Akagi was left speechless.

{W-what?... H-how could THAT be the conclusion they drew from everything? What did those two Yuki-Onna tell them?!? They've totally got me all wrong...} Akagi couldn't believe what they were saying. {W-why? Why does this feel... good? Why does my chest hurt?!? No! This isn't right! I can't be...} This conversation was starting to cause her head to spin.

{Sorry Akagi, but please tough it out for now. I know it's hard, but we need to break through those stupid barriers you've placed over your heart. You don't need to be alone or reject other people. Just because you're the Demon Lord, doesn't mean you don't get to have people care about you. } (Mika)

"I agree." Ken nodded. "Besides, from what Mika told us about you don't take drastic actions for no reason. Each time you've acted has always been because someone tried to hurt you or those you cared about. I don't see anything wrong with protecting your friends and family."

"But I'm an assassin!" Akagi exclaimed. "I kill people just because someone was willing to pay me!"

{That must be irredeemable! I kill for payment! I've killed children and innocent people who had nothing to do with anything bad! Surely now they'll understand that I'm not someone they should be dealing with!} Akagi was trying her best to push them away. She'd shut herself off from the outside, and her mind couldn't rationalize why people outside of her family would ever care about her or show her kindness.

"And I'm sure those people deserved to die, didn't they?" Shinobu said. "Besides, even if they didn't I'd say that being an assassins isn't not the worst thing in the world, is it? You simply do a job that people want you to, and from what Mika told us you have a strict set of rules even for assassination. I might not agree with it, but I see no reason to reject you over that."

{That's basically how I feel.} (Kana)

"Yeah, at least you know where you stand with someone like you. Unlike so many people who hide what they are from others just to screw them later." He looked like he was speaking from experience. “From what I can tell, you just want to be left alone and you probably will never harm people if left to your own devices. I can respect that.”

{These people are nuts! There... there's no way these people are sane! Who thinks being an assassin is something you can just...} Akagi slowly turned her head to Kana and her two friends who just smiled and nodded. {I...I is it really alright? Can... can I have friends? Normal friends? Is it ok for me to accept such people? For people to accept me?}

{I think we broke through!} Mika.

Seeing Akagi so utterly dumbfounded caused Kana to laugh "I think you just broke Onee-chan. She considers me crazy for accepting her as she is, so for two rational adults to do so might have made her mind crash." Kana inched over and hugged her. “It's alright. There is no reason you can't be yourself and have people accept you.”

Shiobu nodded in agreement "Assassin, Demon, whatever. It doesn't matter." Shinobu smiled. "A bad person would never have saved our daughter's life or been such good friends with her. And Ken and I've gotten good at judging people's character over the years." She continued. "Are you a good person? Who knows, that's hard to say. But as far as we're concerned, you're certainly not a bad person."

Akagi had never been told something like that before. Her parents had hated her from birth, and she never had anyone else, besides Yumi and Kana, truly accept her. Kana knew her sister generally didn't care what most people thought about her. But she knew that deep down there were people that Akagi wanted to accept her for who she is, despite everything. So, after a bit of discussion, the three girls hatched a plan to forcefully rip away this barrier Akagi had placed over hear heart so many years ago. Akagi's treatment by her parents and the trauma of her childhood made it hard for her to accept or trust people. Being the Demon Lord only worsened this aspect of her personality, since it convinced her further that she wasn't worthy of anyone's kindness. The girls knew Akagi would shrug their words off as being skewed because they'd known her for so long or were otherwise intertwined with her, so they went to Mika's parents for help. They explained the plan and the two were more than happy to help.

"Onee-chan, are you alright?" Kana kept hugging her. “I know its going to be hard to break down all those barriers you put around your heart, but please know that we care do about you. You don't have to push people away, and there's no reason you can't have friends or allow people to care about you. It doesn't detract from anything, and despite what you might think, you are not an unlikable person.”

“Exactly!” Mika smiled. “I know you've been struggling with all those strange emotions, and your own internal issues and such have only made things worse. But I wanted you to see that we all really do care about you and your not strange for wanting such a thing.”

"We're your friends, and we don't just stick around because we feel we have no other choice." Naomi said.

“Mika and Naomi are right.” Kana let her go. “Do you feel better now? Have you calmed down a bit? I'm sorry we pushed you so hard, but you're quite the stubborn person.”

"Yeah-Yeah, I'm good." She'd intentionally removed her tear ducts to prevent herself from crying. "I'm really glad to hear that, all of that. Thank you" Akagi smiled. Hearing Mika's parents accept her was cathartic as she never even got something close to that from her own. She might enjoy the terrified reactions of most people, but for some, she just wanted to be their friend.

This contradictory and confusing mindset was likely a consequence of a Demon Lord being raised human and retaining a rational mind. She should never have even had the capacity to feel such emotions, so they would easily clash with her instincts and nature as a Demon. Even after banishing her humanity, Akagi was still a person with feelings, and sometimes she wanted to turn off all the scary parts and just be Akagi, at least with some people. Over the days since her release, these two ideals clashed within her mind and she thought herself crazy for holding both simultaneously. She figured it would be impossible to be the Demon Lord and crave friendship and acceptance from normal people. In her fractured mind, such a thing was impossible, and anyone who said otherwise was lying to her. However, Mika's parents helped to calm the storm within her heart. They knew just who and what she was, but accepted her anyway, Demon Lord or not. Akagi thought such a thing was impossible outside of her family, but sitting across from these two adults and hearing it from their mouths showed her that she was wrong. Just because she was a Demon, didn't meant people couldn't care for her, and she didn't need to push people away out of some sense of pride. There was nothing wrong with the Demon Lord wanting some friends in her life.

"Thank you, both of you, for saying that." Akagi looked at Mika's parents. “And thank you for showing me just how stupid I've been.” She smiled at her friends. “I really am stubborn, aren't I?”

“Yup!” (Kana x Mika x Naomi.)

“Its funny, I've pushed people away my entire life. I never had friends and effectively had no family. It was normal to be alone, and somewhere along the way... I guess I thought that I wasn't worthy of anyone's feelings, that no one should like me because of who or what I am. When I was finally released and became the Demon Lord, that only made things worse. I began to think, what kind of Demon Lord has friends? While also wanting them from the bottom of my heart...” Akagi smiled. “These strange and contradicting feelings and thoughts clashed in my mind ever since I was released, and it felt like a battle was raging within my mind, but now... now I see things differently.”

“Different how?” Kana motioned for her sister to continue

“Now... now I see the truth.” Akagi giggled. “I'm already a strange existence. A Demon Lord that doesn't want to destroy the world is a already off the rails enough. So, why not go further have friends and accept that some people might actually care about me despite what I am? Who cares what a Demon Lord is supposed to be. Even if I act much differently than I'm supposed to, that doesn't make me any less of a Demon Lord, it just makes me... me!” She'd finally understood the truth.

“I'd say we all agree." Kana said and Mika and Naomi nodded in agreement. “You might be the Demon Lord and an assassin, but more than that, you're my sister and our friend!" Kana smiled. "It's ok to want people to like you, and there's nothing wrong with wanting people to accept you. You said it yourself, you're selective, and there's nothing wrong with that. So it might seem contradictory to be a Demon Lord with friends. But well, I'd bet that just like Humans, Demons are also walking contradictions. It's normal to have such opposing feelings. It just goes to show that you're a person rather than a mindless monster, and it doesn't make you any less of a person to have them."

Akagi turned to Mika and Naomi who smiled.

"You might be the Demon Lord, but you're our friend first and foremost." Mika laughed.

"Mika's right. I'm sorry if we get a bit inconsistent with how we treat you. From now on, we'll try to be better at that." Naomi smiled.

{I'm glad to see she's come to realize that we do see her as friends and I hope from now on, we can start to tackle some of the other problems she has. Her entire life she was basically alone, left to deal with her inner Demons by herself, and from the looks of things, she lost many of those battles. It might take a long time, but hopefully we can get her on the road to recovery. I know not everything can be fixed, but she deserves just a small bit of piece of mind. This will be how I repay her kindness to me, but giving her what she always wanted. A friend.} (Naomi)

"Heh-heh." Akagi laughed. "I just hope you can put up with me and my eccentricities. I know I can be a bit strange to be around, but if you're still willing to be my friends regardless, that would be great." She smiled. Akagi enjoyed spending time with the two of them as friends, even if she sometimes struggled to keep one mind on how to act around them. But she felt that it would be a bit easier now.

"It's too late to back out now." Naomi shrugged.

"Yeah, we're already in this deep. Nowhere to go but down!" Mika laughed. "Being a bit goofy or strange is par for the course at this point, and you've never done anything that bad, honestly."

{Besides, you're pretty fun to be around with all your goofiness.} (Mika)

"Exactly!" Kana smiled. "You can just keep being your usually goofy self. Just being a bit messed up in the head isn't enough to scare us off." She laughed. "If it was, these two would have run away from me long ago."

"Yeah. Scary Kana might even be scarier than the Demon Lord." Naomi laughed. “Unlike you, she's put us through boot-camp!”

"At least now we know where Kana got it from!" Mika chuckled.

"As the Demon Princess, I have a reputation to uphold." Kana puffed out her chest. "I have to make sure I don't make Onee-chan look bad!"

Her statement caused everyone to bust out laughing.

After chatting a bit more, the girls went into the living room to watch a movie that Mika recommended. It was a fantasy flick, and they enjoyed Akagi making comments about how poorly the villain acted in stopping the hero before he defeated him.

Akagi found that the strange feelings that had been swirling in her mind for these last weeks had disappeared. While there were still many mental hurdles to overcome, for the first time in her life, part of Akagi's mind had healed.