Taming the Queen of Beasts

If you like music while you read, try "The Other Side" by Ruelle. It's what I was listening to while I wrote this!

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GAR (One Week Later)

Gar woke in the dark and went still, eyes wide and ears perked, his heart thumping in his ears, searching for the danger. Searching for the threat.

What had woken him?

A full minute passed as he waited, but nothing happened. There was no sound in the room except Rika, sleeping peacefully next to him, her breathing low and even.

He lay on his side, watching her, but forced himself not to touch. Since it was still dark that meant they'd only been asleep for two or three hours. They were both exhausted—especially Rika. But Gar was wide awake, his body thrumming with adrenalin. He knew he wouldn't sleep again that night.

So, curling his hand to his chest to stop himself from reaching for her, he slowly, silently, drew back the furs and sat up.

The window was still dark, a bare hint of starlight seeping out from behind the curtains they'd pulled before going to sleep. Dawn wasn't yet rising. And his heart was torn.

On the one hand, he found himself eager to meet the day. To see what it would bring.

They'd only returned to the Tree City the day before. It had taken that long to sort out how to manage the dozens of humans that remained in Anima after the voices tore through their ranks. And to destroy their weapons. With the help of the Outsiders, who'd appeared on the second day after the voices tore through. They'd been fighting the rearguard when it happened.

Tarkyn had been wary of Lerrin, but Gar and the male proved to be very like-minded. Gar liked him a lot, though he always got Gar's Alpha prickling and wary of a challenge. Lerrin seemed aware of it though, and so far had remained submissive, busying himself with his own people and his mate.

They'd had to leave the Great Plain still scattered with vehicles and what little remained of those who'd been given to the voices. But their technology and weapons had been gathered, piece by horrific piece, and destroyed by any means possible.

Rika had taken great pleasure in it. Her bright-eyed joy was a balm to his heart when no further sign was found of any that had traveled with his parents to the Northern portal.

He hadn't really let himself think about that. It was a weight he knew he would carry for the length of his life. And a burden that would break him to lay down. He knew that because it was breaking Elreth.

There was no time for both of them to be broken just then.

Gar turned away from that thought, raking a hand through his hair and getting silently to his feet.

The humans that had remained after the voices tore through were in the WildWood now.

Gar and Tarkyn had argued for two days about whether to kill them. But Gar was determined—if they hadn't accepted the voices, there was still a chance for them.

He and Tarkyn and the Protectors had herded them all back to the Tree City, stunned and horrified. They were contained now, being watched over by the guards.

Elreth had declared that one by one they would be scented for truth, and those found to be peaceful would be allowed to make a life, even build their own tribe.

It would be a long time before they'd be trusted, though.

Gar's heart pattered in his chest, his instincts still on edge. It was no surprise, he supposed, after being at war, that his body remained on high alert. But he couldn't shake the feeling that something had woken him. That there was a need.

He would find it if it existed.

He tugged on his clothes quickly. Then, after checking Rika one last time, crept downstairs, mentally preparing to visit the market, the prison trees, the elder's building, knowing that he had to stay focused.

Every time he'd allowed his mind to wander through the day since they'd returned and heard the news—that the portals had been closed, but everyone involved was gone, including Aaryn—he'd been struggling to keep his thoughts in check.

Surrounded by home and all his loved ones, it was reflex to look for his father or Aaryn. To think to tell his mother about what had happened.

And every time he turned to go looking for one of them, he'd remember and be hit with the grief all over again.

Gar grimaced and stalked for the door. Maybe there was a problem at the market, or perhaps a guard needed replacing for a shift. He'd go see if he could help, he resolved.

But the moment he opened the front door and stepped into the meadow, he saw her, sitting in the grasses, facing the mountain, curled up like a child—her knees drawn up to her chest and her chin rested on them.

Elreth.

Gar's stomach plunged, twisting with grief that threatened to steal his breath.

At least she'd brought a fur and wrapped it around herself.

A tiny cry—like a rodent dying in the grass—reached his ears, and he thought he knew what had woken him.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Gar walked carefully out to the meadow and sat down in the grass, close enough that their shoulders brushed.

She didn't look up at first, just stared at the mountain in front of her, her eyes wide and haunted. But the tracks of tears glistened on her cheeks.

They sat that way, both quiet for a long time. Until Gar began to wonder if this was all that she needed. But then she cleared her throat and wiped her eyes.

The problem was, when she started talking, her words sucked Gar down into his own grief—the very experience he'd been trying to keep at bay.

His breath caught, but he forced himself to stay quiet, to listen, to be there. Because of all of them, she'd given up the most.

"Everyone wants me to rest," Elreth said through her teeth. "They don't understand that I can't."

Gar nodded. He felt the same way. Driven to be moving all the time. Driven to keep his mind on a task, or purpose. To stay away from the thoughts that cracked his chest open.

Elreth gave a frustrated huff, though there was a tiny mewl of pain in it.

"I keep waiting for one of them to show up. I keep thinking Aaryn's just busy. I got impatient yesterday. I was busy with the healers and I needed him, and I was pissed off that he wasn't there. I forgot, but I didn't get full of love. I got angry at him, Gar. How fucked up is that?" She swallows. "If he showed up right now I'd fall over myself to hold him. I'd never yell at him again. I'd… I'd do anything to have him here. But he's gone and even though I hope he's alive, he's alone and it just… it kills me. Like, seriously, Gar. He's stuck over there by himself—maybe they're hunting him. If he even survived…" she made that tormented noise again and when she spoke her voice was breathless and hoarse. "He's the only one who didn't get to be safe, and even so, when he wasn't there when I needed him, I got mad."

Gar swallowed and looked up at the stars. The sky was just barely beginning to pale, the stars would disappear soon. He nodded.

"I was talking to Rika yesterday and I forgot for a few minutes. I just forgot. I was telling her a story from… before, and how Dad used to… it doesn't matter. I actually forgot for a minute and when I blinked she was staring at me like she didn't know what to say and I realized I'd just told her that I'd never talked to him about it—and she was realizing that I never would. And it was like… it was like the Creator ripped the floor out from under my feet. I started shaking. She had to hug me for like, ten minutes."

Elreth blew out a breath. "It keeps happening. I need it to stop, Gar."

He didn't know what to say, so he just put his arm around his sister and pulled her into his side the way Dad used to, wrapping a hand around her head.

Elreth sank into him, wetting his shirt with her tears. And Gar trembled, afraid he might break too.

The thing is," she hiccupped a minute later. "It's worth it. I know… I know they did the right thing! But I want them here. I need… I don't… I can't breathe…"

Suddenly Elreth pushed out of his arms, to her feet, hands on her knees, wheezing. Gar jumped to his feet and tried to pull her into a hug, but she pushed him off, shaking her head.

"I need… I have to go… security council," she said breathlessly, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

"El—"

But she turned on her heel, shifted into her beast, and ran, leaving him standing there, aching and uncertain what to do.