Taming the Queen of Beasts

If you like music while you're reading, try "I Want You Here" by Plumb (weepy-warning!) It's what I listened to while writing this chapter.

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ELRETH

Without thought, Elreth turned her back on the still babbling healers and guards and ran out of the market. The moment her feet hit the trails, she shifted, tearing towards the royal meadow first, but finding it empty and no scent of Aaryn, turning on still-running feet, she ran for the portal.

Her beast kept her from being too close to her own mind.

She turned every corner ears perked and nostrils flared for any sound or scent of Aaryn. Her heart sank with every pace closer she got to the portal clearing without fresh scent of him. Not even from the night before because he'd been flown.

That was, until she entered the clearing and suddenly his smell came alive—but it was cold.

She shifted as she approached the center of the clearing to find two fists of guards, all shaken, but standing their ground. They'd evacuated the cave during the earthquake, but they were ecstatic to see her.

She determined quickly that the wind hadn't whipped among them. They'd only fled the trembling earth. There were no betrayers here, she realized with relief.

They were quick to tell her that a brave soul among them had just entered the cave to see if the portal remained.

She stood there, surrounded by guards, holding her breath, waiting for news.

And when footsteps sounded, her heart rose—only to plummet again when it was the stumbling, joyous steps of the guard pounding back towards them.

"It's closed! It's closed! There's nothing there! the tunnel caved in and I can't scent it! It's gone! The portal is gone!"

The guards shrieked and cheered, jumping in circles, holding each other and Elreth.

But even as she celebrated with them, tears ran down her cheeks for her parents, and for Gahrye and Kalle.

They had done it. They'd given their lives. And they'd saved everyone else.

Grief hit her like a rock to the belly.

She stopped jumping and stepped out of the circle to smile through her tears at the guards.

Her parents… Her wonderful parents. How would she ever—

She needed Aaryn.

Suddenly she couldn't breathe. As the guards settled enough to embrace and clap each other on the back, even hugging Elreth, she tried to blow out a shaking breath.

"Did anyone see Aaryn?" she asked quietly. "Did he… return?"

They all went silent, their faces dragged from bright joy, to horror, to grief.

With a glance at the others, the Lieutenant stepped forward, putting himself between her and the rest of them. "I'm so sorry, Elreth. We weren't thinking."

Elreth swallowed and nodded. "It's fine, I just wondered… did you see him? At all?"

The Lieutenant shook his head slowly. "I'm so sorry," he whispered.

Elreth blinked, then nodded again. "It's fine," she said stupidly. None of them believed her, of course. Because it wasn't at all.

But when the Lieutenant opened his mouth to try to console her, she shook her head. "You have nothing left to guard now," she said, overly brightly. "We won! Thank you. Thank you for being here and making this possible. Thank you for your trust and… and honor. Go home. All of you." She raised her voice and turned towards the trees where she knew patrols would still be circling. "Go home! Greet your families! Celebrate! Prepare to help the others who guarded the north. But for today… celebrate. We are one more step towards victory!"

The guards cheered—roars and calls rising to echo through the trees. But she hurried them on. Only the Lieutenant didn't shift immediately and begin to run at her urging.

He took one step, then turned back to her. "Elreth… I—"

"Go," she whispered. "Please."

His face crumpled, but he nodded. "The Creator bless you for all you've given," he whispered, then turned and shifted, galloping out of the clearing.

Elreth stood there in the grass, waiting. There were footsteps in the forest, but all of them moved away, towards the Tree City.

So she forced herself to stand, trembling, barely breathing, until she couldn't hear anything else. Until she was certain she was alone.

Then she turned on weak knees and walked towards the cave.

She stumbled but pushed on, a vague alarm that the cave might collapse ringing in her head, but she brushed it away.

She walked, dry-eyed and silent to the entrance of the tunnel until she was met by a wall of boulders and stone dust.

She stood, frowning at it, her breath coming faster, shallower, her head spinning. But she pushed the panic away and reached for the first of the boulders, grunting and roaring as she did everything in her power to shift it, to tug it aside, to roll it out. She fought, clawed, even shifted into her beast and tried to put her shoulder to it. But it would not budge.

Even the gaps between massive stones revealed nothing but more boulders and dirt.

And as she worked and fought and struggled, sucking in against the effort, it finally occurred to her that the guards had been right.

The smell was gone.

The portal was gone.

There was no longer a traverse to the human world here.

She was alone.

She felt the thought coming and braced, shaking her head, unwilling to hear it, but still, it came.

Aaryn hadn't made it.

He'd run to save Gahrye and Kalle and her and everyone else. He'd given his own life up, his own safety. And he'd done it. He'd won.

They'd won.

And he was gone.

With a cry, Elreth stumbled back, away from the boulders, a strange wail in her throat. Her shoulders slammed into the rock wall on the opposite side of the cave and she came up short, winded, eyes wide, staring.

Then she slid down the wall, to slump on the floor, her muscles water.

The grief, when it hit, slammed into her throat first, closing it in a fist that squeezed all air from her lungs. But it quickly dropped.

​ She gagged, then turned as she retched and lost her stomach.

Waves and waves of grief and fear, purged, splashing to the stone floor, until she was frozen, unable to breathe, clawing at the floor as her body continued to try to push away the truth, to evict it from her body.

Help me.

She coughed, almost heaved again, but sucked in a roaring breath, then another.

The scent of her own vomit, her own tears, the dirt, the stone… Aaryn. He'd been here. Just hours earlier.

She sucked in again but only found the smell of loss. Of grief.

Help me.

She crawled forward, strange noises and cries in her throat, arms shaking, her body still twitching as if it might heave again.

She crawled because her strength was gone. And when she made it to the clearing she fixed her eyes on the spot where they'd emerged together from the forest when they'd found this place by accident during their honeymoon. Locked her eyes on the gap between those two trees where she knew, without any doubt, that he had stepped foot.

And when she reached it, she slumped to the dirt, burying her nose in it, searching for his scent, though it had been far too long. So she clawed her hands into it, pulling it to her chest, holding it, and sobbing her tears into it.

He was gone. Aaryn was gone.

Her True Heart's call was silent.