Taming the Queen of Beasts

GAR 

Gar stumbled up the stairs towards his mother, his head screaming in panic. This felt like his parents were saying goodbye, and it couldn't be that! But when he entered the bedroom, his mother and Rika were on their feet, hugging each other, both weeping, and he just stood there like a dumb fuck, staring at them.

When his mother pulled out of the embrace, her face pinched and she rolled her lips together like she was trying to swallow back emotion. But Rika hurried out, hugging Gar quickly, shoving something into the pocket of her leathers, her eyes shining with tears.

"Take whatever time you need," she said.

He felt like he was walking to his mother's death bed! But she was here and vital and—

When Rika closed the door behind her, the words erupted from him though he hadn't meant to attack her.

"What are you doing? What aren't you telling me? What are you hiding again?"

His mother rushed forward, whispering his name and pulled him into a hug. But he was so much bigger than her now, she could only turn her head against his chest and wrap her arms around his waist. He had to curl over her. He had to embrace her.

"Mom, what's going on?!"

"I love you, Gar, that's what's going on," she breathed. "I love you for being so strong and so brave, and telling everyone so I didn't have to. And I love you for everything you've given your people, and I love you so much for that speech you gave in the Rite. I just… you're amazing, Gar. You are so incredible, and I'm so glad you have Rika. Because she can see it! Don't give up on her, Gar. I know it's hard, but don't give up. She's got the right love for you."

He squeezed her close, fighting his own tears, but also wrestling with that anger that wanted to erupt.

He didn't understand and he hated not understanding.

"I am so relieved that she's here now," his mother whispered in his chest. "I've been praying to see you take your mate since you were just a cub, Gar. I am so proud, and so grateful. My little Reth, remember?"

"You haven't called me that since I was like, twelve."

"Because you started hating it after that," she said with a little chuckle. "But I meant it then, Gar, and I mean it now. You know there's no male in existence that I love and admire more than your father—and you have his spirit. You have his heart. You have it in you to do this, Gar. To do everything he did, and more. All of it. Don't let the demons in your mind—don't let the voice tell you anything else. Whether we're here to see it or not, you have it."

"But… Mom…"

"Don't cry, Son. I'm trying. I'm really trying here."

"But why are you talking like there's no hope? You're saying goodbye—you're both saying goodbye!"

She reached up then and stroked his face, her eyes bright and shining. "Because we're both old enough to have learned we don't want to walk into this and have something happen, and then go, wow, we wished we'd said something before it was too late.

"If the Creator has a miracle for us, I'll come running back with so much joy to watch you and Rika grow, and to support Elreth and Aaryn. You know that. And you know… you know that we're promised paradise, Gar. Even if this does go wrong, or even if it's hard… we aren't saying goodbye forever. This is… this is see you later."

"But… I don't want to—"

"I don't either, Gar, but we have no choice!" And for a split second, he saw her crack, and the façade of contentment and peace slip. He saw how terrified she was, and how sad. And it turned him cold.

But it also shook him awake.

She was his mother. She had always been the strong one. But the pleading in her eyes now… she needed him to be strong and make this okay for her. She needed him to tell her that he was going to be okay even if she wasn't there.

So, despite trembling hands and a quavering voice, he did. He pulled her into his chest and he stroked her back, and he told her all the ways she'd helped him believe he was loveable, even when he couldn't see it.

He told her all the ways he loved her, and how now that he had Rika, he was going to be fine. That no matter what happened, he was safe in her hands.

And as his mother broke apart in his arms and cried into his chest, he told her that… no matter what, he'd never forget her. And he'd never stop loving her. And he was so, so grateful that she was his mom.

After that, they just held each other.

*****

RIKA 

Gar's father stood downstairs in the kitchen when she went down. She slowed when she saw him, so huge and wide. Even though Gar was just as big, somehow his father looked bigger. Or perhaps more intimidating.

It was something to do with the hair, she thought. It made him seem… wilder, than Gar.

"Don't worry, Rika," Reth said quietly from the other side of the room. "I won't ask you to touch me or be close. You can stay over there if you want."

But his eyes were pinched with grief.

"Are you okay?" she asked carefully.

He shook his head. "We love our children very much—and that includes you, now. We've always feared a moment like this might steal us, and we're grateful for the chance to have a warning so we can say what needs to be said, just in case. But that doesn't make it easy."

  Rika was torn between the sides of Reth that she'd seen that were gentle and thoughtful and wise—and the fierce warrior that clearly walked in his skin. Not to mention all the ways he'd tormented Gar before…

"I…" she started, then cleared her throat. "Thank you for apologizing to Gar. That was really big of you. I wish my dad had… had seen his own flaws that way."

Reth dropped his chin, shaking his head. "I'm ashamed that I didn't open my eyes sooner," he muttered. "I'm glad Gar had you to hear him when he needed it."

Rika shrugged, then looked around the room, but there was nothing to save her from this awkward, but somehow very meaningful conversation.

"Your family's really amazing," she said finally. Reth went still, his eyes wide and fixed on her. She looked down. "I can see why Gar is so great, because he had all of you. And I'm glad… I mean, I wish we'd had more time, but I'm glad that I got to see all of you together and… all of this. I wish I hadn't been a part of bringing it on, but I'm so glad that I got to be here," she ended lamely.

"We're grateful you made it, too," Reth said, then smiled and it reminded her so much of Gar, she found herself smiling back without thought.

*****Â

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