Redo of a Romanceless Author’s Life Devoid of Love; Another Chance at Youth

Chapter 139.

Chapter 139. Checking Out After a Free Breakfast. (2/3)

I was being both a bother and creepy. I’d gotten a bit too caught up in my little act to entertain myself that I forgot there was someone else still here. How embarrassing. I didn’t let my embarrassment show on my face though.

I returned to eating. This time normally with one plate at a time. There was no need to use my full power when there was no real competition after all.

The large lady initially appeared to be a worthy adversary at first glance, but she was a lightweight casual. She couldn’t hold a candle to the old man.

After I made several more trips to the counter the large woman departed. She’d never been competing, she’d only been here to eat her full.

Some other guests started to show up as time went on. Eventually, even Rosa and Alicia showed up and sat down at the two-seater table directly beside me.

“It’s about time you guys show up.” Filthy casuals who know not of war. I really need to stop that.

“Well, we were up later than you,” Alicia explained.

“Yeah. Who goes and falls asleep immediately after eating? We kept trying to wake you up but you were out like a log.”

“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”

“Oh please, shut up with those stupid sayings of yours.” Rosa retorted.

“Haaaah. But there’s so much truth to it. The earlier I fall asleep, the earlier I get up, meaning I have more time to eat free food and stuff my guts in the morning. Every bite I take is another dollar saved. If we eat enough breakfast, we can theoretically break-even for what was spent on the hotel and room service last night in just food alone. If we do that, then everything else becomes the cherry on top.”

“Just how much have you eaten up until we arrived?”

“I lost count. Just as others have a second stomach for dessert, I have a second stomach for free food.”

“How do you lose count?”

“Forget about that for now and focus on eating.”

I returned to the counter for more food. I was much quicker than the two of them who dawdled. They carefully picked and chose out things they wanted to eat.

By the time they returned I was off to the counter again.

For another half an hour I repeated the same process so many times until I felt sick.

The two of them watched me strangely.

“You normally don’t eat much at all. Where are you finding place for all of this food?” Rosa asked in shock.

“Where there’s a will there’s a way.”

I covered my mouth and let out a low liquid sounding burp. My mouth expanded a bit but it immediately returned to normal. I played it off as nothing.

“Hey, by any chance did you just-” 

I cut Rosa off mid-sentence, “There are some things that you’re better off not knowing the answer to.”

The two girls looked at me strangely.

“Anyway, why aren’t you two eating anymore?”

“We’re already pretty full.”

“What do you mean you’re full? Can you breathe? Yes. Are you still conscious? Yes. Are you foaming at the mouth? No. Are you throwing up yet? No. Thus, eat. Eat until you can breathe no more. Until you are no longer conscious and are foaming at the mouth. Until your belly is about to burst and you throw it all up. Once you throw it up, you will once again have more room to eat.”

“Uh… Ran, I don’t think that’s how food works.” Alicia pointed out nervously.

“Haaaah. Amateur.” I shook my head remorsefully like a king who could not be understood by his loyal followers. One day you will understand. One day, surely.

Since these two were here I decided to call it quits and not unleash my true potential. The throw-up technique was a forbidden technique I’d long sealed away. Some became scarred for life after they witnessed the true horrors of this cursed technique. I wouldn’t want to give them the same sort of PTSD I’d developed.

My throat was also burning from acid reflux and a sour aftertaste lingered in my mouth. I opted to return with the two of them to the room with three full plates of food.

This had only been a temporary tactical retreat. I opened my bag and took out my ultimate weapon. A large empty container. I dumped all the food inside it in front of them.

“Ran… what are you doing?”

“My mother used to do this sort of thing a lot. I’m simply following the example she set for me growing up. ‘Son, don’t be ashamed or afraid to take as much free food as you can carry home with you.’ Those were my mother’s words of wisdom. Besides that, your own mother missed out on the hotel experience, right? We can at least bring back some food for her at the very least. Even if it’s cold we can just reheat it.”

“Oh, that’s right! I almost forgot all the other free stuff. How could I forget all of that? We definitely can’t forget the free cups, or the small bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. Oh, the soap too. Then the Kleenex boxes and toilet paper rolls. Hmm, what else was there? Oh, right, a free towel is always nice. One of these pillows too. They won’t miss a single towel or pillow, right?”

Well, I’m sure they would. But screw it. I’d requested extra pillows and towels yesterday while the girls had been at their spa, so the hotel wouldn’t be the wiser if a single pillow or towel mysteriously disappeared.

Under the strange gazes of the girls, I shamelessly stuffed as much as I could possibly fit inside my bag. I hadn’t brought much with me, so I had a lot more room in my bag compared to them. I was basically a thief, so I might as well act like one. I learned from my mother when it came to the hotel experience.

Please, nobody ever replicate this act, it is still considered petty theft after all. The small things were free and you could take them without worry, but the towels and pillows were items considered off-limits.

A lot of the hotels I stayed at in the past didn’t record when they brought extra towels or pillows to a room, but I didn’t want to take any chances. If they kept such records and had a cleaning lady check our room before we finished checking out, I didn’t want to end up in the awkward situation where they asked me to show them the contents of my bag and caught me red-handed. I also didn’t want Irene to later get charged for it on her card. So just to be extra safe, I took some extra precautions.

When I heard the cleaning ladies outside vacuuming in the room adjacent to ours, I exited our room and discreetly grabbed a used towel from inside their laundry hamper and hid it under my shirt. They’d left the door open, so I jammed a piece of thick crumpled-up paper inside the hole of the strike plate.

I returned to our room, tossed the used towel under the sink in the bathroom, and waited for the cleaning ladies to knock on our door. I turned them away since we were all still in the room. It was a situation they were accustomed to in their line of business as not all guests would be out at this hour. They typically only cleaned the rooms when guests were out.

When they moved onto the next room further down the hall, I peeked out the door to ensure they were inside the room and distracted. I slipped out, opened the door to the adjacent room, and quickly removed the paper from the hole in the strike plate. I yoinked a pillow off the bed, hid it under my shirt behind my back, and returned to our room without ever being detected. 

Sure, there were security cameras, but with how many floors there were, it was unlikely a security guard would notice a thing at first glance. I’d made the entire process look seamless and natural. The camera was too far away down the hall for it to really make out well what I’d done unless it was inspected closely and the tape was rewound.

The sequence of events, on the surface, simply appeared as if I’d asked the cleaning lady something.

If I was going to be a petty thief, I’d naturally cover all my bases to not get caught.

“Uh… Rosa… isn’t he actually a bad guy?”

“Yeah. He’s definitely a bad guy. Don’t become someone like him in the future, okay Alicia?”

“Yeah, I won’t.”

That was the interaction I was greeted by when I tossed the new pillow onto the bed.