Maybe a Fake Gintama

Chapter 554: We Always Waste Too Much Time on Meaningless Things

In a specific prison on the outskirts of Edo.

"Alright, let's go in," Kawaki looked up at the visiting room and said softly, "He must be waiting for us."

"Okay!" Standing next to Kawaki, Kagura and Shinpachi nodded together.

...

Watching Kawaki in a gray prison uniform sitting behind the visiting room glass, Shinpachi cheered happily, "Gin-san, we did it! We've tried every method and finally got your sentence reduced!"

"Just one year, eleven months, twenty-nine days, twenty-three hours, fifty-nine minutes, and fifty-nine seconds, it'll pass in the blink of an eye! That's great, aru!" Kagura, with her fists clenched, was visibly excited.

"Is that so, less than two years then..." Kawaki suddenly realized, pressing his face against the glass as he spat angrily, "What a load of crap! Why are you all so happy to tell me this terrible news? And what's with these exact details?! One year, eleven months, twenty-nine days, twenty-three hours, fifty-nine minutes, and fifty-nine seconds, what the hell is that?! Just say two years!"

"It's all thanks to Kawaki-san; with his negotiations, two years became one year, eleven months, and so forth," Shinpachi looked gratefully at Kawaki sitting beside him.

"It took a lot of effort, so you'd better thank me, Kawaki," Kawaki said, arms crossed, with a slight chuckle.

"Unfortunately, much of the documentation has been secretly altered and deleted," Shinpachi explained.

"It was Gin-chan who started the trouble, and the prison guard's misdeeds were also pinned on Gin-chan, aru," Kagura added.

"That bastard..." Kawaki gritted his teeth angrily, "Not just the crimes, but he's even framing me for his perverted behavior?"

"That warden, I heard he was untouchable before because his dad is a high-ranking officer at the police headquarters. That's how he got his current position," Shinpachi continued, "It's likely his underlings who clean up after him. For now, we can only continue to investigate the warden's misconduct. We'll keep doing everything we can, so please bear with it for a bit longer, Gin-san."

Shinpachi said that he had wiped away the drool that had inexplicably started to form at the corner of his mouth as he got up eagerly.

"Guard your rear!" Kagura added a reminder after wiping away her drool and stood up.

"See you in two years at the Shampoo Islands!" Kawaki stood up, said this to Kawaki, and then turned to leave.

"Two years, my ass!" Kawaki shouted back.

"Kagura, Shinpachi, let's speed things up," Kawaki said earnestly to the two beside him.

"Yes!" both Kagura and Shinpachi nodded earnestly.

"That's right! That's the spirit! Get me out of here faster!" Kawaki raised his hands, nodding in approval.

"Otherwise, Sadaharu will eat all the barbecue!"

"Is that what you mean by fast?!" Kawaki slapped the glass, yelling, "Cut it out, you idiots! Shinpachi, Kagura, were you drooling just now because of the barbecue?! Does Gin-san mean less to you than a meal?! But seriously, why must you eat barbecue while Gin-san is in jail?! I want some, too!"

"Don't worry, Kawaki, two years or whatever, it'll pass in the blink of an eye," Kawaki turned back, shrugged his shoulders, and spread his hands, "Isn't that how it always goes in the anime?"

"And then, two years passed..."

As the caption appeared over Kawaki's head, his forehead turned black, and after a few seconds of silence, he raised his head, veins popping in anger, "Absolutely nothing has changed!"

"No, it's just that you added two more years to your sentence. Two years have passed!" Kawaki held up a finger and lied solemnly.

"Right!" Shinpachi and Kagura nodded simultaneously.

"Right, my foot!"

The events began two days ago...

——Flashback line——

That evening, at a cosplay club in Kabukicho, Edo, the Yorozuya trio arrived after receiving a phone call.

"Prison play?" Kawaki, holding a pen and notebook, asked a lady before him.

"Yes, I play the prisoner, and he plays the warden," the lady in the nurse outfit replied, revealing a deep cleavage.

"Could you tell me more about it?" Kawaki continued, "What kind of play have you done? No, I don't mean anything lewd by that."

"It's not about the play," the lady crossed her arms, a hint of helplessness on her face, "Every time, our girls get handcuffed and blindfolded, and then that man just runs off without paying."

"Could you go into more detail," Kawaki stopped writing, his expression turning serious, "I'll play the warden. Can we reenact the play?"

Hearing this, Shinpachi, who had been silent and blushing the whole time, suddenly turned expressionless and complained, "Gin-san, what are you here for?"

"They say he's also a well-connected figure behind the scenes, and we can't touch him," another lady, dressed as a bunny girl, added with her hands on her hips, looking rather helpless.

"It's fine; I'm also a person of the shadows. Can you please wait in there handcuffed for me?"

"Gin-san, please have some restraint," Shinpachi reminded him, expressionless.

"Anyway, as long as we get back the money he owes, that should be enough, aru," Kagura spoke from the side of the room.

"Welcome..."

As they heard the waiter's greeting, the nurse-dressed lady spoke to Kawaki, "He's here; I'll leave the rest to you."

In the club's front hall, a middle-aged man dressed as a warden spoke to the waiter at the counter, "The usual prison play."

"Sir," Kawaki approached the man from behind, "Thank you for visiting our club in your warden uniform, but I'm sorry, tonight's rules are..."

As he spoke, Kawaki placed a hand on the man's shoulder, "...Sir, you are the prisoner, and I'll be the warden."

"Get your dirty hands off me. Do you want to be locked up in the punishment room?" the man didn't turn around but warned.

"If you want to keep playing the prison game, then pay up," Kawaki said as he picked his nose with his pinky, "otherwise, it's you who'll be going to the real cell."

"You prisoners can loiter outside only because I allow it," the man looked down slightly and smirked, "While I'm still in a good mood, better remove that hand quickly."

"It seems there's a place more suitable for you than a cell," Kawaki flicked his pinky, his face unconcerned.

"This is your last warning; remove your hand," the man grabbed Kawaki's hand on his shoulder and turned his head back, "If you end up locked up, you'll regret it."

"Hmm, interesting!" Kawaki gripped the middle-aged man's hand firmly, not giving an inch, "Let's see where exactly you can lock me up. If you think you can just try!"

And thus... Kawaki was indeed locked up by the real warden on charges of "intimidation and bringing minors into an adult establishment."...

——Flashback line——

At a self-service barbecue restaurant in Edo.

"Kagura and Shinpachi were eating while looking at some documents," "The warden, his name is Mikirigakure no Suzu," Shinpachi said while eating, "His father is a high-ranking official at the police headquarters..."

"Looking at that stuff over and over is useless," Kawaki, sitting beside them, waved his hand dismissively, "But really, you two haven't found anything substantial."

"Uncle, have you found out any useful information, aru?" Kagura asked, stuffing her mouth with meat.

"Swallow before you talk!" Kawaki reprimanded, then crossed his arms and continued thoughtfully, "To investigate this properly, we must start from the beginning. Leave the club to me. I'll go in and check every nook and cranny. I'm worried those girls haven't told the truth, so I'll talk to them thoroughly to get everything they know!"

No sooner had Kawaki finished speaking than he suddenly rolled his eyes and collapsed onto the table.

Ignoring the kunai stuck in Kawaki's head and the blood spurting out, Kagura waved at Tsukuyo, who had just returned with more food, "Tsukki~."

"What are you doing, Tsukki?" Kawaki pulled the kunai from his head, climbed back up, and complained, "I was just discussing strategy with them. The incident started at that club, and since they're minors, they aren't allowed in, so it has to be me. I'll thoroughly check inside and out!"

"Shut up," Tsukuyo put down her meat and sat beside Kawaki, giving him a cold reminder.

"There's a cosplay club in Yoshiwara, too..." Hasegawa, quietly eating at his table, mentioned.

"Sorry, I can't make moves on people I know," Kawaki blurted out without thinking, then quickly corrected himself, "No, no, no, I didn't mean anything lewd by that! I just want to investigate! You know, Kawaki must be suffering right now!"

"It's you who's suffering!" everyone at the table shouted back at him simultaneously.

"It's you who wants to confess everything, aru," Kagura squinted her eyes, clearly disdainful.

...

That night, in Yoshiwara.

"Are we really okay with just leaving it be?" Tsukuyo leaned against the door to Kawaki's room, her arms crossed and her cigarette pipe in one hand, speaking softly, "The Hyakka have already found evidence that the warden tampered with the case files. Just leak it, and he'll be suspended immediately. His father, the police commissioner, has already disowned him..."

"Really?" Kawaki, engrossed in his game, responded without looking back as if he genuinely didn't care.

"Do I need to pass this on to Kagura and the others?"

"Why are you asking me?" After finishing his game, Kawaki put down the controller and turned around, puzzled.

"I just..." Tsukuyo turned her face away, hesitating.

Seemingly realizing something, Kawaki gently smiled and approached Tsukuyo.

Seeing Kawaki stop before her and stare intently, Tsukuyo's face flushed, "What... what are you doing?"

"Well, even though it's a fruitless effort, thank you anyway," Kawaki said softly, his eyes gentle, "No need... in every sense."

"You..."

"Everyone in this world has something they must protect; you do, too, right?"

"Yoshiwara..."

"Yes, so..." Kawaki squinted, smiling, "Just focus on what you need to protect right before you. Don't worry about my affairs; besides, what I need to protect isn't trivial matters like these."

"What is it then?"

"Tsukuyo, never be curious about a man because..." Kawaki's expression shifted slightly, warning softly, "It can be hazardous."

Tsukuyo snorted and walked away, turning her back to him and speaking disdainfully, "Only an idiot would be curious about a man like you. Sorry, I'm not one."

"That's good. But thanks anyway~" Kawaki smiled and waved at Tsukuyo as she walked away.

[Where exactly is this man looking?] Tsukuyo thought as she walked, then pulled out a piece of paper detailing the warden's crimes from her pocket and tore it to shreds. [No matter how much I probe... I can't see clearly.]

Watching Tsukuyo leave, Kawaki stroked his chin and murmured, "Sometimes she does seem like a regular woman."

"That's right~ Tsukuyo tries hard for a man," Hasegawa, who had arrived in a wheelchair unnoticed, squinted and smiled.

Hearing this, Kawaki chuckled softly, then turned and strode back into his room.

As for what followed with the prison incident...

Kawaki heard that he was released from prison after just a week...