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Chapter 227: Odinson (1)

The bright noon sunshine had gradually dimmed down, no longer so dazzling. The curtains in the Sanatorium office only left a small gap, and the light shining through the gap was shining on the desk.

After the temperature began to drop, the air conditioning was turned on in the office. At this time, the heating was adequate, but Loki experienced a feeling that he had never experienced before, which belonged only to ordinary humans - cold.

His mouth was hanging down, without opening it, just squeezing out a few words from his teeth: "...stop talking."

"People always like to overestimate their psychological endurance, thinking that they can be calm when facing a certain answer, but actually it is difficult."

Loki stared at him and said nothing. The appearance of an Asgardian always carried some classical beauty. Loki's eyebrows were deep and sharp, like a knife, and when the shadow cast completely covered his eyes, he looked both indifferent and profound.

"I have many perspectives to analyze this problem, to tell you where this mentality comes from, and how to solve it..."

Schiller's words took a turn: "...but it will cost you."

Loki's expression was very cold. He stood up, but felt a resistance in his body. Venom in his heart said: "I advise you to think about it again. This may be a rare opportunity."

"Don't try to influence me, monster."

"If you want to take it out on me..." Venom's voice was unexpectedly calm with Loki's tone: "Then I will tell you that even if you leave here now, you have nowhere to go, orphan."

"Are you going to face Thor with this mentality? Are you going to ask him those stupid questions that you already know the answers to, or are you really going to be like a begging dog, asking him if he loves you or not?"

"...I said, that's enough!"

"Calm down." Schiller's words brought Loki back to reality. He said: "My fees are very expensive, but they are definitely more effective than you think."

"More importantly, I don't think you have the ability to pay the bill now, so I will charge it to your brother, because he is the heir of Asgard."

"...Let's start then." Loki sat back.

"Let's look at this problem from a different angle." Schiller made a gesture of putting something aside and said: "You should know in your heart that you are jealous of Thor, but we can analyze this emotion carefully."

"Now, please imagine, what would you do if you were Thor?"

"What would I do?" Loki asked: "...What else could I do?"

"Don't worry, listen to me. Suppose, now you are Odin's eldest son, the heir of Asgard, and have received Odin's attention since you were young. No matter what trouble you cause, he will not blame you too much..."

"He..." Loki tried to calm himself down as much as possible, and then entered into this hypothetical scenario.

"You can imagine, putting yourself in Thor's position, you have been the focus of everyone since you were young, Odin values you, Frigga loves you, and your peers respect you..."

With Schiller's words, Loki began to sink into his imagination.

As the bonfire burned, the shouts in the arena became very noisy. He stood in the front row, then leaped from his seat and stood in the center of the arena, accepting the cheers and shouts of everyone. The audience looked at him with hopeful eyes, believing that he could win.

Then, he crossed the long bridge of the palace with joy and excitement in his heart, walked into the palace gate, stood straight and bathed in the light. Odin praised him and Frigga smiled with relief.

He galloped on the battlefield of the Nine Realms, and no one was his opponent. He won easily and brought the honor back to the father of the gods, receiving the admiration of the Asgardian people.

"So where is Thor now?"

Schiller's words did not interrupt Loki's imagination, but instead turned his perspective. He saw that behind the crowd cheering for him, Thor was standing there, watching him from afar. After their identities and perspectives were completely reversed, Loki suddenly had a wonderful feeling.

"Now, take what you have done and put it on Thor. He played many pranks on you, and then this behavior became more and more malicious, and finally it was not just pranks, but real sabotage..."

"No..." Loki frowned deeply. "I didn't..."

"Don't deny it all, but continue to think about it and see how you would look at it from Thor's perspective."

In an instant, the dream filled with honor and glory was shattered. Loki's arm began to tremble, and his teeth were tightly clenched. Then he said a few words: "I didn't see it."

"What didn't you see?"

Suddenly, his shoulders relaxed, and his chin began to tremble slightly. Then he slowly calmed down. "I didn't see those things."

"Really? Do you want to see it again?"

"No." Loki immediately refused.

"Are you sure you didn't see it?"

Loki fell silent.

He remained silent for a long time, until he completely withdrew from that emotion. He then said, "Maybe...I saw it."

He paused again for a long time, and the whole sentence was filled with a somewhat hysterical tone, and then it turned into a tremble. "But I...didn't care."

"He knew, but didn't care, right?" Loki looked up at Schiller, who was fiddling with his pen. Schiller said, "In fact, you should also think that although your brother is reckless, impulsive, and stubborn, he is not really a fool. He has normal intelligence, and even some talent in certain aspects..."

"You have spent so many years together, and for a long time, you have been together day and night. You think you know him well, but he also knows you well. Perhaps many of the things you do, he sees them all, and this is his not caring..."

"You just wanted to evade this answer just now because you felt that his indifference made you feel more uncomfortable than if he had exposed you face-to-face or reported to Odin."

"Now, ask yourself, do you really want to hurt Thor, kill him, replace him, or just want to get more attention?"

"I..." Loki instinctively wanted to deny this answer. "Don't be ridiculous, how could I want to get his attention? He has no brain, he's just a brute from start to finish..."

"Is that so? Then when I asked you how you felt about Loki as Thor, why didn't you want to give me an answer?" Loki fell silent again, but this time he didn't tremble, just paused in the same position.

"He may truly not care." Loki's tone grew more breathy, the words mixed with a sigh. He gave a self-mocking smile and said, "At least when I was a child, my pranks were not very well thought out. I was just playing with him."

"I remember several times when Thor's companions figured out it was me, so they hated me even more, but Thor didn't say anything."

"I know he didn't not notice..." Loki's tone became somewhat perplexed. "But why did I believe so strongly at the time that he hadn't noticed?"

"Perhaps because you couldn't accept that he had noticed, but just didn't care," Schiller said.

Loki fell silent.

"Okay, now let's add some extra conditions to this situation. You're still you, meaning your current appearance, physique, strength, and abilities, but you're still Odin's favorite son and heir to Asgard..."

Before Schiller finished speaking, Loki said, "No, this is impossible, I..."

"Asgard will not have such an heir, my physical strength is too weak..."

"I'm not Odin, and this isn't the coronation ceremony. What I say doesn't count."

"It's just a hypothesis, anyway. Since it's all hypothetical, why bother with logic?"

Loki had nothing to say and could only nod.

"As you said, you have many flaws, even some that are fatal, such as not having the physique that Asgardians pride themselves on. Odin can see these flaws, the people of Asgard can see them, but you still became the heir to Asgard and Odin showed you great favor. No matter what trouble you caused, he was willing to resolve it for you..."

"So, how would Thor see you in this situation?"

"He..." Loki seemed to have a complete sentence he wanted to say directly, but after the first word came out, he was choked.

"Don't doubt what you're thinking now. Thor would definitely be jealous of you, regardless of how much. That feeling would definitely exist."

Schiller made another gesture and said, "You probably often think that Thor has so many flaws. He acts without thinking, only charging forward, not considering the consequences. He's simply an unreasonable fool."

"But if the roles were reversed, Thor would probably think that your physique is so weak that you can't even pick up a godly artifact. You can't charge into battle, as a general you can't set an example, and you don't have the heroic qualities of the Asgardians..."

"You see, that's how the world is. When you can't be the other person, can't do the things they do in their position, you always feel that they are not worthy of it."

"Their flaws will be infinitely magnified in your eyes, and then you will use these flaws to imagine that if you were in their position, you would do better than them."

"But when you actually get to that position, your flaws will also be magnified, and whether your proud qualities can handle the trouble that comes with your flaws is still unknown."

"So?" Loki looked at Schiller and said, "Are you saying that even if I were in Thor's position, I wouldn't do better than him?"

Schiller shook his head and said, "No, I'm just telling you that it's normal to feel jealous of your brother, resent your father's unfairness, and think that the people of Asgard have no vision. These emotions are all very normal."

"If we were to switch your position with Thor's, these emotions would still exist. Thor may not have your level of emotional sensitivity, but he definitely cannot be completely immune to these emotions."

"If you don't believe me, think about him now. In a way, the current situation is as if your positions were switched. Do you really think that Thor is not jealous of your sudden promotion? Do you really think he is so magnanimous that he doesn't care that Odin gave you the glory that was rightfully his?"

"Since he can also feel jealousy and resentment, there is really no difference between the two of you. It is not because you have a narrow mind or an abnormal mentality that you have these negative emotions. It is simply human nature."

"I made this hypothesis..." Schiller paused for a moment, took a sip of water, and continued, "to tell you that the jumble of emotions in your heart, including jealousy, resentment, shock, confusion, perplexity, and indecision, are actually very common."

"So you don't have to make some self-destructive conclusions, such as Thor and Odin being shining and just people, and you being a dark and despicable person who can only hide in a corner to release negative emotions, or even come up with more extreme ideas to bring this pain to others..."

Schiller put down his glass and looked into Loki's eyes. "I just said you were like a dog chasing after meat, but the conclusion is that if we were to put a collar on Thor, he might chase after it even more eagerly than you."