Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Chapter 11 - In my heart, I already belong to Xiang Gege

After hearing this, Xiang Huaizhi was slightly stunned at first, then he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Buns?! What the fuck, isn’t that too much? There isn’t even a minimum reward given out? This thing costs 1 copper for ten of them in the grocery store…” When Lu Hang saw him laugh, he was horrified. “What’re you doing? Have you turned stupid from anger?”

“No.” The plot animation was still playing on the game interface. Xiang Huaizhi urged him, “You’ve finished watching it anyway, so you should go.”

“Fuck, you cheated me of so many potions, and now you want to chase me away after using them all?” Lu Hang tsk-ed, “No wonder you’re a slag guy.”

Xiang Huaizhi, “I still remember the IDs of those three healers.”

“… okay okay okay, I can’t provoke an old man like you, I’ll leave now. There just so happens to be a ball game at 7 anyway. I hate playing at night the most, I can’t see anything clearly without my contacts, and I even have to fight for the court with those grandmas who dance in public squares.” Halfway through talking, Lu Hang’s line of sight unconsciously fell upon Xiang Huaizhi’s calf. “Does your leg still hurt?”

“It stopped hurting long ago.” Xiang Huaizhi said, “Get a liangpi for me on your way back.”

“Okay.” Lu Hang quickly changed into his jersey, took his phone, and left.

When the dormitory door closed, the game animation came to an end, and the interface returned to Mount Luojia. Both of them were surrounded by people, and dialog boxes were stacked on top of one another so no one could see what anyone was saying at all.

And right now, his friend icon was flashing non-stop.

[Friend] Chunxiao: Disband the party since you’re done ba.

[Friend] Yearning For: ?

[Friend] Chunxiao: Five parties from our guild are waiting outside, we’re gonna kill Xiao Tianjing.

[Friend] Yearning For: .

Xiang Huaizhi opened up the party interface and saw the little fairy fox in his party.

【Xiao Tianjing has thrown you Steamed Bun x99】

“Gege, I’m sorry wuwu, I didn’t get anything good for you.” Xiao Tianjing’s voice travelled out from his headphones, “I said that I’d give you anything I dug out, don’t look down on them please, at the very least they can add HP.”

Xiang Huaizhi had never liked being nosy. He has played NCH for so long but had never even joined a guild before. He got acquainted with the regular party he gained experience with from pubs, and even in arenas, he had only ever played 1v1s.

Lu Hang mocked him more than once that he played a large-scale online game for making friends as a console game.

He closed the party interface and reopened his friend dialog box.

[Friend] Yearning For: Are you guys sure this account didn’t change hands?

[Friend] Chunxiao: We’re sure.

[Friend] Yearning For: ?

[Friend] Chunxiao: The previous owner of that account couldn’t play like that, but we can’t exclude the possibility of her finding someone else to play for her.

[Friend] Chunxiao: But no matter if the account has changed hands or not, we must kill her.

[Friend] Yearning For: Server bully?

[Friend] Chunxiao: I dare not accept that honour. She destroyed the equipment of one of our guild members. If we don’t kill her, people in the guild will complain.

Xiang Huaizhi closed the dialog box, then took the little fairy fox with him as they ran to the portal.

[Friend] Chunxiao: ?

[Friend] Chunxiao: What’s the meaning of this, you want to intervene?

[Friend] Yearning For: I have no reason to kick my teammate out for you guys to kill.

[Friend] Yearning For: There are only two people in our party. If you guys want to initiate a compulsory PK, feel free to do so.

[Friend] Chunxiao: …

There were only two people, and this time, the ones lying in wait for Xiao Tianjing were all pillars of Idle Pavilion. With five teams surrounding two people, their chances of winning were very high.

But having a high chance of winning was one thing…what she was afraid of was having them get killed in return like Immortal Mengmeng and even losing their equipment in the process.

They were all equipped with top-grade equipment, so it was impossible for them to take this risk.

On the other end, Jing Huan grabbed the spicy noodles that he had just opened up and forcefully bit one mouthful.

Damn GM, you are this strand of spicy noodle right now. You’ve just been viciously chewed to pieces and swallowed by me.

[Friend] Vigorous Little Mosquito Repellent: Meimei! Why are you still taking a stroll in Mount Luojia! Don’t you know that there are 5 parties behind you! They’re just waiting for a chance to kill you!

Jing Huan looked back, and it really was true.

However, as a Fairy Fox Cave, why would he be afraid of being hunted? Besides, even if he did die, there wasn’t anything precious on him that could be dropped.

Thinking of this, he turned on his mic: “God of War Gege, are you still there?”

“Un.” Xiang Huaizhi brought him to a safe area before replying.

“How much were the transformation card and potions? I’ll return you the money.” Jing Huan opened up the top up interface of NCH.

Xiang Huaizhi refused, “No need.”

“That won’t do. You already killed the Yao King for me, there’s no reason for you to pay for my potions too.”

Not wanting to continue arguing over this, Xiang Huaizhi said, “Just give as much as you want then, I didn’t spend any money.”

He paused, then suddenly asked, “Have you played NCH before?”

“Never.” Jing Huan had prepared this lie long ago, “But I’ve played other games before that are like NCH, so I find it really easy to master this one. Did I play well just now?”

Xiang Huaizhi threw out one syllable, “Un.”

Un??

Jing Huan thought, with how godlike my operation was just now, who wouldn’t exclaim in admiration when they see it, who wouldn’t give me a thumbs up when they see it?!

And all you give me is an “un”?

“Then Gege,” The girl’s voice sounded cautious and a little humble, “In the future…can I do instances with you?”

Xiang Huaizhi, “…”

“I’m really accurate with my heals, you saw it just now too! I can do any instance, I definitely won’t drag you guys down!” Jing Huan paused, “Ah…Gege, or is it that you think that it’s too troublesome since I’m being hunted down?”

Xiang Huaizhi, “The instance NPC can also recruit parties. If you stay in the instance scene, you won’t be killed.”

The implication behind his words was: you won’t get killed in instances, so you can look for other people to form a party with.

His polite rejection was very obvious, and if it had been someone else, they would’ve backed out of the awkward situation long ago.

Jing Huan sounded aggrieved as he said, “…but I want to do instances with you, Gege.”

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: [bawling and wailing]

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: [rolls around making a ruckus]

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: [yingyingying]

Xiang Huaizhi’s head hurt from all these expressions, yet he found it amusing for some reason as well.

[Party] Yearning For: …

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: [hugs big thigh]

“Why do you insist on doing them with me?” Xiang Huaizhi asked.

There was a rustle coming from his headphones.

He hadn’t expected that Yearning For would turn on his mic again, so Jing Huan put down his spicy noodles in a hurry. Then with a nervous, shy, and girlish tone, he softly said, “Because…I only came to play NCH because of Gege ya.”

Xiang Huaizhi, “…”

Xiang Huaizhi, “We’ll see next time.”

After saying this, Yearning For’s character disbanded the party and flew away from the crowd in a hurry.

Jing Huan reflected on what he had just said and shook his head while uttering tsks.

Amazing.

Thanks to how Lu Wenhao used to chat over their mics with that catfish wife of his, he had learnt quite a bit from them, so he now casually knew how to act coquettish and cute in passing.

He was just about to return to his sect to do his dailies when a message popped up on the screen.

【Immortal Mengmeng wants to private message you.】

[Private Message] Immortal Mengmeng: Are you there?

[Private Message] Xiao Tianjing: [doubtful]

[Private Message] Immortal Mengmeng: What’s your relationship with Yearning For?

[Private Message] Xiao Tianjing: Ah, that should have nothing to do with you ba? [shy]

[Private Message] Immortal Mengmeng: Ha-ha, you want to chase him, don’t you?

[Private Message] Xiao Tianjing: O-O! Ah!

[Private Message] Xiao Tianjing: …is it very obvious? [covers face][covers face]

Immortal Mengmeng sneered at these two expressions.

Who are you trying to act cute with?

[Private Message] Immortal Mengmeng: Save it, he’ll never like you.

[Private Message] Xiao Tianjing: It doesn’t count if you’re the one saying it ba, Jiejie [taps fingers together]

[Private Message] Immortal Mengmeng: ??

[Private Message] Immortal Mengmeng: Who are you calling Jiejie? Am I very familiar with you?

[Private Message] Xiao Tianjing: I just destroyed your equipment two days ago, so of course we’re not familiar with each other~ but didn’t you come PM me [aggrieved]

[Private Message] Immortal Mengmeng: …

[Private Message] Immortal Mengmeng: Forget it, I won’t bother with you about that. I’m here to advise you to keep your eyes open: Yearning For is a major slag, it’s best for you to stay away from him.

[Private Message] Xiao Tianjing: Ah, Jiejie, I thought you’d understand me.

[Private Message] Immortal Mengmeng: ?

[Private Message] Immortal Mengmeng: Understand what?

[Private Message] Xiao Tianjing: Women love bad guys. [shy]

[Private Message] Xiao Tianjing: Jiejie don’t try to advise me anymore, I’ve already made up my mind.

[Private Message] Xiao Tianjing: In my heart, I already belong to Xiang Gege. [heart]

Jing Huan only cared about irritating Immortal Mengmeng. He never even considered the possibility that those few words of his had already been transmitted to 30,000 viewers in a stream through Immortal Mengmeng’s live broadcast screen.

—

Juurensha: Bwahahahaha Huanhuan, at least you were acting super cute!