Canon Fodder

CHAPTER 79 TOGETHER AGAIN

I was pampered beyond belief once I joined Baroque Works. The employee benefits were to die for. Given a nice condo near the casino I had a great view. Plenty of money. And no real work to speak of. It was an easy gig. 

For now anyway. Crocodile/Mr. 0 had promised the real work would start soon enough. So I spent his money like there was no tomorrow. Charging everything to the room he gave me I sure as hell wasn’t going to pay it back. 

I was living the dream. Getting a massage by 2 naked women on the daily I was a little disappointed when I was interrupted yet again. The girls were young like me, well real me. I was still transformed into Kakashi. Nice tits and asses, the girls also had strong hands. Kneading my muscles every day for the past week I had booked them and tipped them as much as possible. 

“You have a job,” the voice said, waking me up. I looked over to see Nico Robin coming in from the elevator. She had an angry glare for me whenever she stopped by. 

I unashamedly turned over. My half erect dick causing the girls to gasp and giggle. Robin blushed, turning away. 

“Hello, Miss All Sunday,” I said to Robin. “Why are you always interrupting my massage?”

“Because you’re always getting one,” she said angrily. The girls were on either side. Rubbing my palms as I groaned happily. I noticed them catching glances of my dick. I gave them a wink and they giggled again. 

“I thought we were meeting the boss tonight,” I said. 

“We are. Which is why he’s sending you,” Robin said with a sneer. “A secret mission that he thinks you can handle on your own.”

“What’s that?” I asked. 

“Send the girls away,” Robin said. I frowned but nodded. They knew better than to disagree. Dressing slowly they gave me a big wink as I signed the receipt and gave them a nice tip that was more than a week's pay. They kissed my cheeks and giggled while running out the door. 

Robin continued to glare at me. I opened my legs. Unashamed of my naked state. She averted her eyes. “Kill the princess,” she said. 

“What?” I asked. 

“The princess was spotted on the island. Mr. 0 wants you to kill her,” Robin said. 

“When?” I asked, calming my beating heart. 

“Today. She was seen on her way to Yuba,” Robin said. 

“Alone?”

Robin hesitated. Eventually she answered, “no. She is with the Straw Hat Pirates.”

“Do I kill them too?” I asked. Playing into my part. 

“No!” Robin said. “They are children.”

“As is the princess,” I said standing up. I pulled my MHA costume out of my status screen. The hoodie and pants were surprisingly breathable in the desert heat. 

“Just the Princess, orders from Mr. 0,” she said. 

“That doesn’t sound like our mysterious leader,” I said. “Maybe I should kill them just to make sure the princess didn’t spill the beans about our leader's identity.”

“How damaged are you?” Robin asked, her eyes angry. “They are children.”

“1 child? 6? What’s the difference? Why does she deserve death and the others don’t?” I asked. After putting my costume on I headed out the door. Robin followed. She was quiet as we walked. Going outside we caught a palanquin and were heading South to Yuba. 

On the outskirts of town Robin called a large turtle with a whistle. Wearing her cowgirl hat and fur coat she sat on a chair on top of it. Umbrella sticking out the back of the turtle she looked rather regal. I stood on the large tortoise shell as the beast headed South.  

“Why are you coming?” I asked. “Don’t think I need you to handle a bunch of kids.”

“Orders,” she said. But I knew she was lying. She didn’t want anyone to die. 

I had been mean to Robin since joining Baroque Works. Uncaring with killing. Blunt with what needed to be done. I made sure she understood the bad side of what she had started by working with Crocodile. She had her own goals in Alabasta. But killing innocents wasn’t part of it. She was willing to accept the guilt of it though. Despite how many people she tried to save. We were quiet as we left town. Until I eventually broke the silence. 

“The mighty Nico Robin,” I whispered standing next to her. She stiffened as the tortoise ran with us. She turned her face to me slowly. Intense fear in her eyes. “The girl with the 79 million berrie on her head.” I met her eye. “I recognized you immediately.”

Her hands began to shake. She moved them to hold onto the arms of the chair to stop them. “Oh did Mr. 1 tell you the torture I put him under?” I asked. A wicked smile on my lips. “That’s just a taste of what I’m capable of. Of what you’re capable of.”

There were genuine tears in her eyes as she tried to keep from running. “You threw this whole country into a civil war, Robin. All for what? A look at a poneglyph?”

“H-how do you know that?” She asked. Her voice dry as she did. 

“I know lots, Robin. You think I’m a simple Mr. Half. Lackey to Crocodile? Yeah I know whose running things too. But not Crocodile. It’s really you we are working for. Your goals.”

“It’s sad to think how much you’re willing to sacrifice for answers. And the sadder part is. The poneglyph here won’t give you the answers you seek.” I said. Teasing with my tone. “All this death. On your head. For only more questions to fill your mind.”

“I don’t believe you,” she whispered. 

“That’s fine. I don’t expect you to,” I admitted. I grabbed the knife from the hand behind my back. The hand had sprouted from the umbrella pole. As I squished the bodiless appendage it turned into flower petals. Disappearing. I threw the knife into the sand. The tortoise kept running. 

“Was that for me knowing your secret? Or to try to keep the kids safe?” I asked. 

She didn’t answer. We were silent for a time. Moving around Yuba it wasn’t long until we saw them ahead. They had a few camels. Their faces drooping as they sweat I couldn’t help but crack a smile. Pulling my hood over my head and my mask up, it wasn’t needed, but it would help. 

“Will you help them? Or continue to let innocents die?” I asked. She sneered at me as the tortoise ran. When the party noticed us they began to yell. Zoro, Luffy, and Sanji in front. Usopp, Nami, Vivi, and Chopper in back. It brought back memories. 

Right before I was about to jump toward them I was knocked off the tortoise by a wave of hands. Nico Robin's special Devil fruit. She could make her limbs sprout anywhere. 

“Straw Hats run!” Robin said. “This guy is a psycho!”

“All Sunday! What are you doing?” Vivi asked. The princess had blue hair hidden in her head covering. 

“Stopping this guy. He is Mr. Half. He was sent to kill you all,” Robin said. Tears in her eyes as she took a defensive stance in front of the Straw Hats. 

“Well done, All Sunday,” I said getting up. “But do you really think you can stop me?” I ran toward her. Hands tried to grab me. I jumped up. Creating 3 clones my real body grabbed her and the clones went for the Straw Hats. 

My clones drew knives and were on them soon enough. Zoro, Luffy, and Sanji attacked. Freaked out by the extra men clad in black. 

“You should be proud of yourself,” I told Robin. Holding a knife to her throat. “You stepped up. Trying to protect these kids.” She shook in my grasp as tears ran down her cheeks while she watched. 

“When did you give up on Sauls dream for you?” I whispered. She stiffened once more. “A crew. Nakama all your own. People you could trust with your life. Look at them fighting. They don’t know who I am. But they are willing to risk it all for each other.”

“You’re sick,” she spat. “Quit toying with them.”

“I’m not toying with them. I’m toying with you. Give this up, Robin. Crocodile is a murderer. At the end of it all he will lose. You will lose. And my captain and I will keep you moving forward. We will give you another chance. So when it is offered to you. Take it.”

“What are you-“ I tossed her to the side as my last clone burst into smoke. 

“Usopp!” I yelled pulling my hood and mask down. “What did I tell you about running away?!” 

That drew everyone’s eyes. “And you Luffy? Did you read that book I gave you?” I released the transformation jutsu revealing my face. 

“And Sanji. Where is that steak I was promised?”

“Weston?!” Luffy asked. I smiled big. Opening my arms the rubber man was soon on me. Squeezing me hard my bones began to creak. 

“Ugh Luffy. You’re crushing me,” I said. The other original crew were soon upon me. Smiling and laughing as they poked and prodded me. 

“We expected you when we landed,” Zoro said. 

“Yeah sorry. I got stuck back in Rainbase. I thought I had a few more days till you showed up.”

“How’d you get away from those marines? We saw your bounty went up,” Sanji said. 

“It did? To what?”

“25 million.”

“Damn, Luffy still beats me,” I said. “Oh I just hung around there for a couple days while they kept making rudders. I kept breaking them. What about you guys? What have you been up to? I see we have more crew.”

“Oh right,” Usopp said. “This is Chopper. Our doctor. And Vivi. She’s a Princess.”

“Fancy,” I said. “Lots to catch up on. We should deal with this lady first. She’s part of Baroque works.”

I turned to see a shocked Robin. Her eyes bulged as she stared at me. “Who are you?” She asked. 

“I’m Pirate Ninja Weston,” I said. “Member of the Straw Hat crew.”

“But you killed him!” She yelled. “Igaram.”

“Igaram?” Vivi asked. “No, you killed him, I saw it,” she spat back at Robin. 

“No, I let him live, this man killed him when Igaram got back to Alabasta,” Robin said. Stunned. 

The crew looked at me. “I didn’t kill anyone,” I said. Bending down I picked up a rock and cast a transformation jutsu on it. A less bloody severed Igaram head was there. “You saw this. I told Igaram to lay low for a while.”

“Is he really okay?” Vivi asked me. Hope in her voice. 

I nodded. “I set him up in the capital last I checked.” I looked to Robin. “If you haven’t put it together, I quit Baroque Works.”

“You worked for Baroque Works?!” Luffy asked. 

“Well yeah. You guys were taking forever to get here.”

“We didn’t take that long,” Luffy said. “We’ve had a bunch of problems.”

“Does that mean you didn’t read the book?”

“It’s not my fault it caught on fire,” Luffy said. 

I growled. Rubbing my face. “Luffy, you didn’t catch it on fire on purpose did you?” 

Luffy looked to the side. “Nooo,” he said. His terrible poker face showing. 

“Goddamn it,” I mumbled. “Once we save this stupid country. I’m going to make you read it.”

“It’s really long,” Luffy said. 

“I don’t care,” I said. “Fine. Fine. I only dodged a bunch of marines. And only ran a few hundred miles. And fought a sea king. And tricked Crocodile into hiring me. It’s nothing. It’s fine.”

“When you say it like that, you make me feel bad,” Luffy whined. “We were super busy. We had to fight bounty hunters. And a whale. And this guy that ate more than me. And giants. And a candle guy. And a bunch of other people.”

I sighed. “You’re right, captain. I’m sorry. You were busy.” I rolled my eyes. “Alright. There’s a small town ahead. I assume that’s where we are headed?”

“Yeah. Yuba. It’s the rebel base,” Vivi said. 

“Good. Let’s check it out,” I said. I turned to see Robin still there. Staring at us. “Are you coming with?”

She jolted as if I zapped her. “She’s the top woman in Baroque Works,” Vivi said. 

“Should we take her down?” Zoro asked. 

“No, she’s harmless,” I said. “She doesn’t care about Crocodile or his false war. She’s pretty nice. Did you know Crocodile sent me to kill you?” I asked. 

“What? Why would he send you?” Luffy asked. 

“I’m a ninja, remember. I have a bunch of assassination techniques. I showed him my skills and he made me one of his top people,” I said. 

“You? Kill someone?” Luffy laughed. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” I said in all honesty. In One Piece it was hard to remember I ever had. “But it was pretty easy to trick him that I could. I don’t think he will be all that hard to outsmart.”

We walked past Nico Robin. The stunned woman watched as we headed to the town ahead. I didn’t think she would join us just yet. But I would be damned sure she would eventually.