Canon Fodder

CHAPTER 206 GOURMET HUNTERS

“Congratulations to those of you who managed to get out of the marshes alive and well,” Satotz said from the front of the group. We had waited about a half hour. Which would have given those guys plenty of time to rape and kill the women, then catch up. I couldn’t help but wonder who all was in on the conspiracy to keep women from passing the test. 

“We are now in the Biska Woods. This is where the second round of the Hunter Exam will take place.” Satotz bowed deeply to us. “On that note, I wish you all luck in the next part of your trials.” There were relieved sighs around the group. I counted roughly 150 people still in the group. A large building just ahead, the doors opened slowly. 

A woman with teal hair tied back in 4 ponytails walked out. “I am Menchi,” she said as we began to walk toward her. “I will be the examiner of the second phase.” 

The group gathered around facing her. I ignored the cult or whatever that I had just massacred. This woman was a Hunter and had passed. For all I knew there were plenty of other women that had snuck by in the test. Still, I couldn’t believe there was some secret society trying to keep women out of the Hunter’s Association. The test was hard enough as it was. I felt a little bad for them. I was curious how many other women had suffered the same fate as the group of girls had been about to. 

“Come on in,” Menchi said, turning around. Heading inside as a group there were lots of small kitchen areas set up. About 20 kitchen islands set up with a sink, cutlery, and minor ingredients she moved to a large chair at the front. Beside her was a large box that she drummed her fingers on. I was fairly certain there was a big fat guy that was supposed to be an examiner as well, but I didn’t see anyone else in the room. 

“What can you all tell me about Hunters?” Denchi asked. Crossing her legs in her cut off jeans, and tight jean jacket, she was quite eye-catching. 

“What about em?” A cockier guy asked. 

“What do you know about them?” She asked simply. 

“Hunters can go almost anywhere in the world without a visa,” someone offered. 

“Good, what else?” 

“They are the best of the best,” someone said. 

“Eh, debatable. Give me firm examples,” she said. At ease in front of a large group of people. 

No one offered anything else up. Denchi sighed and leaned forward. “Hunters are just that, hunters,” she said. “Long ago, back when we all lived in caves, hunters braved the wilds to bring back meat. They were strong, confident, and had a myriad of skill sets. Tracking game, setting traps, strong senses of smell. Only the best hunters lived very long. The Hunter Association has since evolved from that, but we try to keep our roots. Hunters need to be masters of patience, have an extreme amount of knowledge, they must be proficient in whatever they do. All of this leads to understanding of your prey. Whether that is someone you need to kill or a rare book collection you need to find.” 

I was enjoying her explanation as she went on. “What have you been tested on so far? Endurance, that is a must in any hunter. But also the willingness to go forward without any idea where the ending could be. A lot of times us Hunters are let loose with very little information. Along with endurance you were tested on your ability to survive. The marsh was an unforgiving place, whether through luck or skill, you have all passed. Everything in the Hunter exam has a theme. Welcome to the next phase. Here we will be covering what it is to be a Gourmet Hunter.”

“What’s that?” A heavyset man asked, laughing as if it was some joke. 

“Gourmet Hunters are those of us who do this job thanks to our love of food,” she said. “Just like every one of you is different, there are all different types of Hunters as well. There are those that specialize in hunting down ruins, being bodyguards, hell even ones that devote themselves to stopping the poaching of animals. Every year we pick one particular instructor to test prospective Hunters on any such specialty.”

“What if we have no interest in food?” Another person asked. 

“Then tough tits,” she said, standing up. “Better luck next year. Now, time for the fun. Everyone line up and take a sheet of paper from this box.” She set her hand on the box beside her. People grumbled but were soon lined up. I flashed Denchi my best smile as I took my sheet of paper from the box. She rolled her eyes and sent me on my way. I read what was written on my small slip of paper. 

Lochodile Egg

I had never heard the name before. I moved the sheet to my pocket, hiding it so no one else could see. 

“That everyone? Good,” Denchi said. “As a Gourmet Hunter you could be expected to hunt any number of things. Luckily the woods all around us are chock full of delicacies. There are….” She looked at her watch, “6 hours until dusk. You have that amount of time to come back with what is on your sheet of paper. If you don’t, you fail.” 

There was mumbling from the examinees all around us. “One more thing. As long as you come back with the scavenger hunt ingredient and a slip of paper stating it was your goal, you pass this phase.” With that she turned around and headed to an office out back. Everyone understood what she was saying. If we couldn’t find what we were looking for, then we just had to steal the sheet of paper and whatever we needed to find. 

“Let’s go,” I whispered to Jill. She understood as well and we were quickly moving out the entrance we had come inside from. People were scattering as soon as they were outside. Very little information to go on I decided to head in a random direction with Jill in tow. When we were a safe enough distance away I realized I had forgotten to stick close to Gon’s group. 

“What did you get?” I asked. Jill raised the slip of paper. “Albino skunk (alive), damn, that sucks,” I said. 

“Right? You?” She asked. I showed her mine. “Never heard of a Lochodile.”

“I’m guessing its a mix between the Loch Ness monster and a crocodile,” I said as we continued to run. 

“Loch Ness what?” She asked. 

“Nothing.” I stopped in my tracks. Looking up, there were simple oak trees around us, green lush leaves above. “One sec,” I said. Running up the tree trunk I made it through the branches and jumped up high. The foggy marsh behind I noticed a large spot without trees off to my right. Falling to the ground I said, “This way.” Jill followed and we were off in the direction of the water. “Let’s get mine, then we can worry about your skunk.”

She nodded and we ran in silence. There were a few people in our path. Looking all over the place for this or that, but no one had malicious intent. Too focused on the task at hand. 

“How do you do all this?” Jill whispered. 

“Hmm?” I asked, brought out of my thoughts. 

“You are wearing weights. Ran for hours easily. Killed a bunch of people with water. Just ran up a tree and jumped super high with ease. Acting like it is no big deal,” Jill said, exasperated. “I thought I was ready for this test, but you’re like some super man.” There were some tears in her eyes. I guessed they were from frustration. 

“Oh,” I said, trying to come up with a lie. But I really didn’t think I had to. “I’m strong,” I decided on. “I train over 6 hours a day. And yes, I have some special powers. Don’t feel so bad. You’re doing pretty awesome. I am just…overpowered, a little. It’s a big world out there. I know that I am not the strongest. Probably not even close. So don’t sweat it, alright?” 

She frowned but we continued running. We came up to a wide lake and began skirting the edge. I noticed giant grassy mounds off to the side. “Wait here,” I said to Jill. She nodded, more than happy to take a break. She was smart about it though and climbed up a tree, hiding up above. I ran into the lower part where mounds as big as buildings sat. Draping myself in dark chakra I was hidden from view as I started making my way into the grass. Inside was the curled up body of some ancient dinosaur. It really looked like a loch ness monster, in the body at least. The head was a giant crocodile head.

Curled up around a mound of eggs I moved in as quietly as I could and grabbed 2 eggs, just in case. The Lochodile hardly stirred as I exited. The eggs were about the size of a basketball, but I held them under my arms as I ran back to Jill. She jumped down the tree as I approached. 

“Already done?” She asked, disappointed her break was over.

“Yep,” I said, tossing her an egg. She grabbed it just in time, cursing at me as I laughed. “Now let’s find your stinky boy.” 

We ran all over the place. Jill stumbled a couple of times, almost breaking my spare egg. I had to take it from her as we continued to search. We found large pigs, giant wolves, tiny elephants, mid-size hippopotamus, and everything under the sun, except skunks.  That was until we found the main cast. 

“Weston!” Gon said excitedly. Leorio, Killua, and Kurapika were with him. Most all carrying some spoil or another. From a wrap of golden grass to the corpse of a silvery bird.

“Hey guys,” I said. “What are you all looking for?” 

“A Lochodile egg,” Gon said sadly. “Can’t find them anywhere.”

“Well lookie here,” I said, handing him my spare egg. “There’s one right there.” 

“No way!” Gon said, taking it excitedly. I guessed it was for him. “What about you?” 

“An albino skunk,” Jill said sadly. 

“Skunk eh?” Gon said. “You know, over that way I smelled something foul.” He pointed off to the East and we were soon headed that way. Kurapika told me how Gon had caught up to Satotz based off smell alone during the last phase. I had forgotten he was basically a wild child. 

We came to a small hill. Walking up it even I could smell the awful skunks. We crested the hill as a group and found large car sized skunks in a giant herd. I wondered what you called a group of skunks, perhaps a garbage heap?

“Oh god, there is no way I’m heading in there!” Leorio said. 

“Quiet, you’ll spook them,” I said in my best Steve Erwin impression. “So much black and white. Where is a pure white one?” I asked, scanning the dozens of skunks. We spread out a little until Gon found it for us. It was right at the center of the mass of skunks. Protected from all sides from hunters like us. 

“How the hell am I supposed to get it?” Jill asked, dejected. No one wanted to get sprayed by any of the animals. 

“I’ll get it,” I said. “Wait here.” I headed into the skunks. Disappearing from everyone’s sight as I draped myself in chakra. Moving through the crowd a few sniffed me out, but didn’t overly react, simply moved away. I got to the albino skunk. It was larger than the rest, but it had the distinct red eyes and white fur. I decided to do something I hadn’t in a long time. 

Closing my eyes I let my Conqueror’s Haki out in a huge wave. The skunks stiffened and fell over in a large area around me. I grabbed the tail of the albino and dragged him out with very little fuss. 

“How the hell did you do that?” Killua asked. 

“Gave them a taste of their own medicine,” I said, dragging the skunk as we headed back toward the building. 

—

We were attacked twice on our way back. Large groups that had given up on finding their prey and decided it was easier to rob others. We took care of them of course. Everyone joining in on the fun of knocking the guys out. As we got closer to the building I noticed an airship had parked in front of it. 

A large blimp with the XX symbol of the Hunter Association printed on the side. There was a deck with a rope ladder leaning off the side. It was still a few hours until dark but we came to find a large group already learning from Menchi as she worked a giant wok at the center of the building. 

“The trick is to finding all of these interesting tastes,” she said as she threw more ingredients into the pot. She noticed us and passed the large ladle she had been stirring the pot with to another Hunter that had showed up. 

“Someone brought back my albino, eh?” Denchi asked as she approached. Coming up to the albino skunk she had a wide smile on her face as I let it go. She logged our sheets of paper and our spoils. Some ingredients she threw into the wok and others she tossed into a pile for later. “How’d you knock her out?” She asked. 

“Just spooked her,” I said. 

Denchi laughed, not questioning it. “You know, every time I run this thing I put in this old albino.” She patted the skunk. “2 other times people actually captured her. But your group is the first that didn’t come back reeking like death.”

“I don’t know, think we are all pretty rank,” I said. 

Denchi laughed and nodded. She was soon picking up the albino skunk and taking it outside. After waking it up she sent it on it’s way. The skunk ran, never spraying or threatening us in any way. 

“Part of being a hunter is knowing what to let go,” Denchi said to our group. A smile on her lips as she turned around to finish cooking. “Come on. It’s almost dark. I’m sure everyone is hungry.”