A Barbaric Proposal

Chapter 57 | That Kind of Person Doesn’t Exist

There were so many things she wanted to say to him, but for some reason, she felt like she was running out of time.

So, out of all the things she could’ve said, Rienne said the thing she wanted to the most.

There is no child.

No one ever took me away from you, so you may take me back in full.

Or something like that.

But she couldn’t remember what Black said back to her—if he said anything at all. At the time, she was convinced it was only a dream, but apparently it wasn’t. He really did come to find her.

[Rienne] “How did he know……..?”

Rienne felt herself getting nervous.

Did he find Klimah, who was supposed to be hiding? And then did he asked Klimah where she was? In that case, how was Klimah now? Was he alright? Maybe he was already dead…..

[Mrs. Flambard] “You were missing for so long, Princess. And everyone’s misunderstood because of the blood on your dress. You still haven’t said anything, yes? So I didn’t say anything, either.”

[Rienne] “What?”

The woman’s voice perked up Rienne’s ears, filling her with strange thoughts. Rienne looked up, staring at her.

[Mrs. Flambard] “…….There was a lot of blood, Princess. Everyone saw it. And now, he seems to think you’ve lost your child.”

[Rienne] “Excuse me?”

This was something she hadn’t considered.

[Mrs. Flambard] “So……”

Mrs. Flambard nodded her head in embarrassment.

[Mrs. Flambard] “I decided to stay quiet because I thought that would be for the best. And the doctor ended up confirming it because of all the blood.”

[Rienne] “No, but I…….”

She told him. She said, ‘there’s no child’. There never was from the start.

Don’t tell me he didn’t hear me.

[Rienne] “What did Lord Tiwakan say?”

[Mrs. Flambard] “What did he say? About the lost child, you mean?”

[Rienne] “Yes.”

[Mrs. Flambard] “Well, that’s……”

The woman suddenly grabbed Rienne’s hand. Her touch was very kind and soothing, almost like a mother just before her daughter’s wedding day.

[Mrs. Flambard] “He didn’t say anything. He only told the doctor to save you, Princess.”

[Rienne] “Is that so……”

[Mrs. Flambard] “But I caught a glimpse of his face, Princess, and I was able to see so many of his emotions. He looked sincerely worried for you—as if his heart were breaking at what happened.”

[Rienne] “That’s….”

Is that….really true?

[Mrs. Flambard] “I think you’ve met a very fine life partner, Princess. Telling him the truth or not won’t make much of a difference now, in my opinion. I’m sure if you truly did have a child, he would have cherished them as his own.”

[Rienne] “. . .”

He can’t do that.

It was already very strange that he was so willing to accept a child of Kleinfelder blood as his own, but it would make no sense for him to feel affection towards the child Rienne gave birth to.

That kind of person didn’t exist in this world.

[Rienne] “Ma’am.”

As the woman held her hand, kindly holding it with a kind face, she looked up to Rienne who had called out to her.

[Mrs. Flambard] “Yes, Princess?”

[Rienne] “Do you remember the old king?”

[Mrs. Flambard] “You mean your father?”

[Rienne] “No, before that. The king of the Gainers family.”

[Mrs. Flambard] “Oh, yes I think I remember him, though I never met him up close. Wasn’t he the king who died from a curse while on a hunting trip with his knights?”

[Rienne] “Did you say, curse?”

[Mrs. Flambard] “Yes, I did.”

Mrs. Flambard lowered her voice, looking around as though what she was saying was a secret.

[Mrs. Flambard] “Now, the rumor is a bit hush-hush, but they say the king was punished for doing something to earn the fury of God. He was still young when he died, and it was somewhere no one could find him, so many believe that to be the truth. They even say merely speaking his name is enough to bring down the wrath of God, Princess. So you mustn’t speak that name too lightly.”

Deep in her chest, Rienne could feel her anger pulsating.

A curse? So they killed him and then passed off some nonsense story about a curse as the truth? All so they could try and erase their sin of treason.

[Rienne] “Don’t say that, ma’am. There is no curse. And repeating such words only—“

Boom—!

The bedroom door swung open with such force, it sounded like it was breaking, causing both Rienne and her nanny to pull back in surprise.

Standing in the door frame was Black, who had thrown the door open as if he were intent on destroying it.

[Black] “You’re awake.”

Seeing his face, illuminated by the flickering light of the candle, he looked unusually pale.

[Rienne] “Yes…….”

And meeting him now wasn’t as easy as she thought. She felt very uncomfortable.

Rienne closed her eyes, letting out a soft sigh in the meantime. But in the moment her eyes were closed, Black closed the distance between them before she realized it.

[Mrs. Flambard] “I will take my leave.”

The woman quickly stood up from her seat, bowing towards them.

[Rienne] “You don’t have to do that.”

But as Rienne reached out to stop her, Black took a hold of her hand, gently pulling her back before she could.

[Mrs. Flambard] “Call me if you need anything, Princess.”

And with that, Mrs. Flambard quickly excused herself. It would appear as though she had no intention of awkwardly allowing herself to stay stuck in between them.

[Black] “You’re just waking up now.”

Hearing the sound of the door safely shutting, Black sat down in the chair that her nanny had left vacant, but that wasn’t enough for him, so he pulled it closer to the edge of Rienne’s bedside.

He took Rienne’s hand and interlocked their fingers. Once their hands were tightly intertwined, he brought her hand up to his lips, giving it a sweet kiss.

[Black] “You slept so long, I was about to wake you up.”

[Rienne] “. . .”

Hearing Rienne’s echoing silence, Black tilted his head.

[Black] “Did you want to sleep more?”

[Rienne] “…….No.”

Actually, she was still very tired, but she didn’t want to go to sleep. If she slept, she would only end up feeling worried about tomorrow. Falling asleep at such a strange time would only mean waking up at a strange time, too.

[Black] “Are you hungry?”

[Rienne] “Not especially.”

[Black] “Then what do you need?”

[Rienne] “. . .”

Thinking about it, funnily enough, there was only one thing she really wanted.

She wanted to erase her memory. Specifically, all her memories of what she talked to that servant about. Of ever meeting him to begin with.

In comparison to now, her past worries seemed so simple. When all she had to do was wait for the perfect time and place to tell Black the truth about her pregnancy.

Thinking about that now, it just felt so foolish.

That was nothing in comparison to what now plagued her mind.

[Black] “You can say anything you want. Like anything you can remember about the person who did this to you.”

[Rienne] “…….I didn’t see them.”

Hesitating for a moment, that’s how Rienne decided to answer.

If it became known that Klimah kidnapped her, it would only become harder to help him like she promised. Of course, Black already knew about him and what he’d done, but Rienne didn’t know that.

[Rienne] “After I lost consciousness, I was alone by the time I came to.”

[Black] “Do you remember seeing me?”

[Rienne] “Yes……”

[Black] “Alright then. That’s all that matters. Nothing too bad must’ve happened since you can remember things clearly.”

Black ran his hand through Rienne’s pale colored hair, his touch so soft and kind that she could barely feel it. When he acted like this, no one would ever guess he was dealing with the daughter of his enemy.

Was it because……he was too young at the time to know what the Arsak family did? Could he only remember the Kleinfelder’s part in it all?

Was that why he could treat her like this?

[Rienne] “. . .”

The more Rienne’s thoughts started to spiral, the paler she became.

He said he was eight years old at the time, so he may not remember the names of all seven families.

But he wasn’t the only one who didn’t know anything. She thought that she’d been the royalty of Nauk since the moment she was born, living in blissful ignorance all this time.

So that was probably how it was.

He still didn’t know exactly who she was. To him, she was just the person he remembered as being the one his engagement was nearly arranged with when he was young.

[Black] “What’s on your mind?”

Black slowly swept Rienne’s face with his hand. His touch was as kind and friendly as a dancing flame, and yet, at the same time, it stung her like a sudden flash of freezing water.

[Rienne] “……I have something I need to tell you.”

Her heart stung.

Rienne pulled together what little courage she had, tugging on Black’s sleeve. He said he liked it when she touched him, and she prayed that was still true.

[Rienne] “But please promise me something first.”

[Black] “Speak.”

Black looked down at her hand that was holding onto him. From Rienne’s point of view, there was an unmistakable hunger in his eyes.

……I think I know why he’s doing this to me.

He said he wanted a home. A place he could return to where nothing threatened him. A place where he could relax his mind and lower his defenses without fear.

For him, Rienne was that place.

Even if she deserved nothing, he deserved to get that.

…..So I can’t.

She couldn’t say it.

My father killed yours and usurped your throne.

I am not your home. I’m not the one meant to stay with you, sharing a bed together until we’re old. I’m the daughter of the one who destroyed your life.

She couldn’t say any of that.

If she did, this man would only lose his home again.

Rienne wasn’t sure if this was just an excuse to protect herself from the truth, but the reality was that she knew she couldn’t take this away from him.

She couldn’t take anything more from him.

It was already the Arsak family who stripped him of his home in the first place. It would be far too cruel and awful to do that to him a second time.

[Black] “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Seeing Rienne open and close her mouth several times, Black started to get worried, taking a lock of her hair and rubbing it between his fingers, bringing it to his lips. Like he was trying to warm his hands.

[Rienne] “It’s….”

[Black] “Yes?”

[Rienne] “You may get angry once you hear this….”

[Black] “That’s for me to decide. So what is it?”

[Rienne] “But please, don’t take your anger out on anyone else. Please don’t get mad at my nanny.”

[Black] “Did your nanny do something wrong?”

[Rienne] “She didn’t do anything on her own. She was only following my orders, so none of it is her fault.”

[Black] “If you so wish, I will do that. So speak.”

Was this the right thing? Was it her own arrogance believing she had the power to protect this man’s ideal of a home?

She didn’t know what the right choice was.

But even if my heart is in so much agony over this……I don’t want you to feel any of that anymore. I don’t want you to lose anything ever again. I only want you to find the things you lost.

Everything you wanted to take back.

Everything you were supposed to have.

[Rienne] “I didn’t lose my child.”

Rienne didn’t notice this, but the fingers she was gripping around Black’s sleeve tensed, almost the point where they felt as though they were about to break. But Black saw it.

He held onto her hand, slowly loosening the tension in her fingers.

[Black] “Did you want to talk about that?”

He didn’t seem to understand what she was trying to say.

[Rienne] “I’m trying to tell you I didn’t lose my child.”

[Black] “You haven’t drank much water today, so you must be thirsty. Wait here.”

So he tried to avoid the conversation, steering it in another direction. He was thinking Rienne was in denial, trying to run away from reality because she couldn’t bear the shock of losing her baby.

As Black moved away from her, Rienne reached out and grabbed onto his sleeve again.

[Rienne] “I never had a child. From the very beginning, I was never pregnant.”

[Black] “…….? What did you just say?”

Black, who was about to stand up from his chair, stared at Rienne—his entire body completely stiff as he slowly sunk back into his seat.

[Rienne] “I lied. To refuse the proposal.”

[Black] “. . .”

[Rienne] “And I know, I’ve had several opportunities to tell the truth, but I kept hiding it. I was afraid control over Nauk would be taken away from the Arsak family.”

[Black] “. . .”

[Rienne] “But I know I shouldn’t have done that. If you’re angry with me, I completely understand.”

[Black] “. . .”

The whole time Rienne spoke, he stayed completely silent. It was proof that not even once did he ever doubt her when she told him she was pregnant.

This man was completely honest.

Except for trying to hide his name.

[Rienne] “……I’m so sorry. I was going to tell you before, but then the fires broke out.”

[Black] “You were bleeding…..”

After a while, Black frowned, muttering in a low voice to himself.

[Black] “If it wasn’t because of the child then why……Ah. That was probably because of…”

[Rienne] “….Yes.”

Then there was silence again.

Was it just her that was feeling the oppressive nature of the quiet stillness in the room? He looked a little agitated….or maybe betrayed?

As the uneasiness gripped her, Rienne let go of Black’s sleeve, her fingers falling to take his hand instead.

[Rienne] “My nanny isn’t at fault. I am the only one to blame.”

[Black] “Yeah, no….I got that.”

[Rienne] “A, are you alright?”

He frowned, clear wrinkles forming between his tightly knit eyebrows.

He didn’t look okay at all.

[Black] “I don’t know.”

……I should’ve seen this coming.

Holding onto Black’s hand, Rienne loosened her hold on him, her fingers helplessly falling away.

[Rienne] “I’m so sorry.”

She wasn’t sure what else she could say.

Black stayed like that for a while, slowly tilting his head as he looked towards Rienne. His eyes, their glare as sharp as mirrors, pierced Rienne.

[Black] “I don’t know how I would describe this feeling…….But I don’t think ‘okay’ is the right way of putting it.”

* * *