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Chapter 9: I hereby name you a Bonger!
Chapter 9: I hereby name you a Bonger!
Looking at the stunned expression of the Sect Master, I start to doubt the quality of this drink. There is no way simple booze could knock such an expert out of her shoes like that! I hope it's not something that would dirty her hands just by touching it!
'System, can you analyze the content of this bootle for me?'
Learning from my previous mistakes, I now barely move my mouth while trying to talk with the gift from the god. Speaking out loud only draws unnecessary attention to me!
"Blop!"
"Analytic option is unable to scan the items that are not in your possession."
Damn! As always, this shitty system is unreliable! Not even such a simple task is possible for him!
Oh, the older woman put the gourd away. Is this time for my punishment for soiling her hands with such a cheap drink!
Wait, why is she bowing her head to me?
"I'm extremely grateful for such a generous attitude of yours! Sparing the heavenly dew just to treat the wounds of my lowly disciple! I really don't know how my sect could repay you!"
Ugh. How am I supposed to respond to that? Even my bullshit making abilities have their limits!
"Don't sweat it. This is just a drink that my father offered to me as a parting gift before I left my clan. It only held a small sentimental value to me, but compared to the life of another human, it can't be compared at all!"
When I'm unable to utter lies, speaking the truth is the best option. At least, I won't dive deeper into the quagmire of my false story!
"Just a parting gift you say"
It seems that my words have some effects seeing that even this powerful sect master had to stop for a second, falling into deep thought. Seeing my chance to finally check if the last system upgrade I just wasted so many points on was worth anything, I look at the pulsating '!' in the corner of my view.
As if responding to my will, it enlarges itself and turns into a list with names and descriptions of the items that I somehow acquired.
{------}
Name: Horn of the abyssal rat x7
Thanks to its resistance to all elements, it's a highly valued ingredient in armour making.
Estimated value: 41 golden coins
*********
Name: Fury's wrath
Fury of the Forbidden Forest heart. The core part of the Forbidden Forest overlord containing the essence of this magical beast. Can be crafted into the core of magical equipment
Estimated value: 4,525 golden coins
*********
Name: Mystic Hawk claws x3
Specialised in slashing everything that poses a threat to this ominous bird, it is considered one of the sharpest materials in the lower continents. Used for crafting weapons.
Estimated value: 140 golden coins
*********
Name: Lucid Snake's toxine x9
A potent mixture of various toxic herbs growing in the Forbidden Forest combed together to create a formidable poison. In right hands, it can be crafted into an antidote for every poison existing within the forest.
Estimated value: 19 golden coins
{------}
What a catch! It seems that all the monsters that I somehow killed in the forest, dropped some invaluable items for me! To say that I got stunned by that news would be a grave understatement!
Back in my clan, as a son of one of the elders, I received an allowance as high as ten gold coins. Monthly that is! From what I heard, the "fortune" that my father supposedly spent trying to cure my lack of innate talent amounted up to a thousand gold coins! And the items that I just got my hands on were worth more than five times as much!
It took me a good minute to recover from my daze. Those accidents were too coincidental for me! What would this system amount to if I were to die from a seizure at this point?!
"Blop!"
"Host high resistance attribute makes him immune to most of the common health problems"
Oh, fuck you now! While this is wonderful information, your timing is just too bad to take it nicely. I know you are trying to defend yourself! From now on, you are not a system anymore, I hereby call you a Bonger! You should've kept your lewd suggestions behind your lines of code! Ha!
"Blop!"
"Detected a wish for a boner"
"While it's not in line with usual actions, system grants this wish free of charge!"
Oh, fuck!
No matter in how high regard did Eve and Sect master held me, if they saw the effect of my blood suddenly flowing to a certain place, my life would be over in either poetic or direct way! I have to run away before they notice something!
"Sect Master, I think that I'm still in a rather unstable state. Would you be so kind as to lend me a small smithy for a while? Working my sweat while smashing the ore with a hammer always was the best way to set my consciousness straight!"
Hahaha! That's the best way to solve this problem! If they won't make things hard for me, not only will I be able to figure out how could I use those ingredients, I will avoid any embarrassments coming from my the excited state of the lower part of my body!
"Of course! You don't need to be so polite to ask for such a small matter. Eve, will you guide our esteemed quest to the inner sect smithy? You will be able to find ample materials and tools to calm your mind there!"
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