To Hell With Being a Hero!

Side Story Chapter 20. The Way These Men Play (3)

After finishing breakfast, Chi-Woo immediately transported himself to the area where the crisis was taking place. He found himself in space, not a planet. The crisis which had put the universe in danger had sprung out of the void out of the blue. Chi-Woo succeeded in detecting the source and was about to take a step forward when—suddenly, the surrounding space split, and a man popped out. He was a Korean man wearing casual clothes: a white T-shirt and a pair of jeans. He stepped forward with an extremely disgruntled expression.

“Hmm?” Then the man discovered Chi-Woo and stopped in surprise. When Chi-Woo tilted his head, the man mirrored the reaction.

The man asked first, “Uh…who are you?”

“Ah, I’m here to tidy things up, since the Celestial Realm asked me to.”

“Huh? Me too?”

“What?”

A passerby who didn’t know the situation might think they were from a cleaning company by their conversation alone. At that moment, the space split once more, and a young man appeared.

“Huh?” That young man looked at the two men who came before him with an equally surprised expression. “What the. Why are you two here?”

“No, why is the owner of a ramen shop here?”

“Ah, I was asked to help. An angel named Michael came and…”

Realizing what had happened after hearing the young man’s reply, the man uttered with a stiff expression, “Fuck. Those damn bird brains.”

“They must have gone to all of us, hoping that at least one would accept their calls.” The young man bitterly smiled and continued, “Anyway, since the situation turned out like this, why don’t we introduce ourselves? As both of you know, dear customers, my name is Seol Jihu. And this is…” Since Jihu knew both of them, he stepped forward and helped introduce the other two men.

“I’m Kim Soo-Hyun.”

“I’m Choi Chi-Woo.”

The man named Kim Soo-Hyun asked for a handshake with a little awkwardness, and Chi-Woo cautiously held his hands.

—Who is it…

Then, a growling echo that seemed to come from a pit with no end in sight rang out.

—Who woke me up from my sweet slumber…

They sensed a mysterious creature lifting them up.

—Oh my…

The mysterious creature sensed the three beings staring blankly at them and suddenly burst into laughter.

—Ahahahhahaha.

The mysterious creature was so powerful that their laughter alone shook the solar system—no, the entire galaxy.

—How fun…so fun…just in time when I woke up, three uninvited guests came to visit me.

They laughed for a long time and then spoke in a solemn voice.

—But…I already knew…! How wide the universe is… I also knew that…the fact that there’s no one equivalent to me in this vast space…would only be blind arrogance.

—You all must obviously know…what my goal is…and how great my power is…yet you didn’t come in person but sent out envoys instead… Thus, I can only think of one possible explanation.

Kim Soo-Hyun raised one brow when he heard the word envoys.

—It’s that…even those who are praised as great beings in this vast universe…are extremely terrified of me…!

“Uh…I’m sorry to interrupt, but I’d like to say that’s not the case. Before that, don’t you think there’s a possibility that the envoys were sent because you aren’t even worth dealing with in person?” Seol Jihu, who had been listening quietly, posed a question.

—Shut up!

Of course, that got him a furious shout from the mysterious creature.

—How dare you talk so imprudently in front of this great being. Do you know who I am?

When the mysterious creature was monologuing on their own, they dragged the words out and talked leisurely, but they shot back like a shotgun once the other party said a single line. Seeing Seol Jihu close his mouth with an irritated expression, the mysterious creature smiled in satisfaction.

—Come to think of it, I can understand your situation a bit. You must be angry that you’re going to die merely for scouting me.

“…”

—Considering your situation, I’ll let you off the hook this once, but there is no second time, you pitiful mortals.

“…What shall we do now?” Seol Jihu turned around and asked Chi-Woo and Soo-Hyun. Judging by how tightly he was gripping his spear, he seemed to have made his decision already.

—Haha…what can you do…

The mysterious creature regained their composure and chuckled.

—Tremble in fear…throw away your feeble pride, beg earnestly with a pathetic expression and pee your pants…that is your fate…

“What the hell is that bastard saying?” Kim Soo-Hyun frowned.

“They must have a urine fetish. Yuck, what a sick pervert.” Chi-Woo retched as if he was genuinely disgusted.

“What should we do with…” Kim Soo-Hyun sighed and slapped his sword on his palm. It seemed as if any desire to put the mysterious creature to death peacefully had disappeared from his mind.

“Hmm. Then shall I do the same for them?” Chi-Woo suggested.

Kim Soo-Hyun and Seol Jihu looked back at him.

“Let’s do as they said. People don’t know what it’s like unless they experience it themselves.”

The two immediately agreed with Chi-Woo, but Kim Soo-Hyun raised a question. “But they’re not human. They might not go through basic physiological processes.”

“Then I can do this.” Chi-Woo waved his hand lightly. A mysterious being immediately appeared—no, it was more appropriate to say that the mysterious creature was forced to take shape, as in the case of the law of causality.

—No! What! What is this!

The mysterious creature, who was forced to take the shape of a human, was extremely flustered.

“Ah, don’t worry. I left your power intact.” Chi-Woo kindly told them as if he was being generous.

“It’s amazing.” Soo-Hyun spat and grabbed the handle of his sword.

The moment the mysterious creature realized that the situation was going terribly wrong, another unusual event happened. Around the three, strange figures began to rise up. Immeasurable enemies that weren’t present a second ago surrounded Soo-Hyun, Chi-Woo, and Jihu. Sensing a serious threat to their life, the mysterious creature had launched a secret attack. Of course, the three didn’t even blink.

“How perfect, I was already in a bad mood,” Soo-Hyun said as if the mysterious creature had attacked at perfect timing.

Then the mysterious creature saw a pitch-black armor that exuded an ominous energy appear on top of Soo-Hyun’s white t-shirt. In contrast, huge swords that emitted a holy energy were summoned in both of his hands. Then at the same time, Soo-Hyun’s faint presence began to swell up from him like a snowball; it was such a great and terrifying presence that the mysterious creature couldn’t even dare to fathom its strength. Now they felt a dizzying chaos that seemingly would pull them in simply by being in its presence. In a mythical age when light and darkness collided, a mighty king who ran across battlefields and brought all enemies to their knees—the legend of the Martial God had descended at this very place.

—?

The mysterious creature pinched their cheek at the surreal dilemma they faced. However, it was too early to be surprised as another shocking sight took place next to the man. If they weren’t mistaken, it was gold—a brilliant, golden nebula that was bright enough to brighten up the whole universe, formed from once-dead stars that began to shine again from a sparkling, golden light and big enough to form an enormous Milky Way. Chi-Woo, who was about to use his infinite loop, paused.

—???????

The mysterious creature was already extremely confused by the demonstration of power from the two men.

Soo-Hyun said haughtily, “Tremble in fear…throw away your feeble pride, beg earnestly with a pathetic expression and pee your pants. That is your fate…was that it?” He smiled at the now human-shaped enemy who had stiffened.

Frankly, the mysterious creature had every right to act so arrogantly and leisurely. In terms of class, they would be considered in the top ranks. However, their opponents this time were just too overpowered. The mysterious creature looked at them with a blank expression, and then their face stiffened. Keeping a straight face, the mysterious creature warily glanced at them and awkwardly coughed.

—Hmm. I guess it was my mistake. It’s my fault that I didn’t properly recognize who you all were. I apologize.

The way the mysterious creature talked changed. However, seeing that their neck was still stiff, it seemed as if they didn’t want to bow and beg even if they died.

—But even then, I was a bit surprised. Don’t tell me you’re all going to attack me together–

“That’s enough,” Soo-Hyun cut them off and said, “Beg.”

—…

“Beg on your knees as you said.”

The mysterious creature smacked their lips. The thought, ‘If I beg, will my life be spared?’ crossed their mind, but considering the karma they’d already built up, they didn’t think that would happen. As soon as they thought this, the mysterious creature stood up and spoke proudly.

—Do you think I’ll beg? I’m afraid you’re sorely mistaken. I’m an existence that has already transcended fear. I’ve already accomplished everything I wanted. Do you think I’m afraid of mere death?

—What a joke! If you’re going to kill me, kill me! As of right now, I’m a wanderer looking for a final resting place. Rather, I like this turn of events! It would be an honor to die at the hands of existences like you, and a joint attack at that! Who else in the whole universe would experience such a treatment! Just that alone would leave my name eternally in the history of the universe! Ahahahaha!

The mysterious creature was performing mental gymnastics to not admit defeat, and Chi-Woo showed a troubled expression. “This is a bit bothersome. It feels like the three of us are all attacking together because we’re afraid of you. Even if we win, it’ll feel iffy.”

—But that’s the truth. If I’m wrong, you’re free to correct me.

“There’s nothing to refute. Anyway, I think we’ll only feel satisfied after seeing you meet a pathetic end. Can it really not be helped?”

—That’s impossible. My long-awaited final moment has arrived. I’ll gladly accept my death.

The mysterious creature flatly rejected it.

“Are you sure?” Chi-Woo asked again with a sly smile.

—Yes!

“Are you sure you won’t regret it? If you rub both hands together and beg, we might let you live.”

—How absurd…!

It was then—

—I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I was wrong! I’m a dumb bastard to dare pick a fight with beings like you! I don’t want to disappear like this! When I finally opened my eyes again! Please spare my life! Bawwwwwww…uh?

The mysterious creature had been standing with their arms crossed just a moment ago, but once they came to their senses, they were begging for their life. They had crouched down, lowered their head, rubbed their hands, and peed their pants. Then, they blankly raised their head at the sound of laughter.

“It’s funny, isn’t it?” Chi-Woo giggled, pointing at the mysterious creature with his index finger. Soo-Hyun’s face was still stern, but he seemed to have also found it funny as he turned away and shook with suppressed laughter. On the other hand, Jihu was openly laughing. He was clutching his stomach and rolling around the space, laughing his head off.

—Youuu!

The mysterious creature was about to burst into anger when—

Bang! Their face whipped to the side with an explosion; Soo-Hyun had attacked him with reservation. Of course, the mysterious creature wouldn’t die so easily, but Soo-Hyun hadn’t intended to kill them anyway.

“Well, this is enough.” Soo-Hyun snorted and slowly calmed down from the burst of laughter. He seemed to have completely blown off steam. Since he had already seen everything there was to see, he didn’t have any lingering feelings about punishing this creature anymore. It was the same for Jihu. He had planned to punish the creature a bit for their trash talk, but after seeing them like this, he lost all desire to do so. However, he couldn’t just let an opportunity like this go to waste.

“Hm. Actually, there was one thing I’ve been dying to try.” He glanced at the other two with sparkling eyes; rather than a good idea, it looked more like he had thought of a practical joke.

“If you want to give the final blow, I’ll concede.” Soo-Hyun stepped back and withdrew his sword.

“No, rather than the final blow…there’s an anime that my kids watch a lot these days.”

“Anime?” Chi-Woo and Soo-Hyun blinked at the sudden remark.

“Yes, one of the characters in it uses an interesting skill. So…”

“What kind of skill is it?”

“Well, they say a picture is better than a thousand words. I’ll show you directly.” After saying this, Jihu moved into a laijutsu stance with his spear. Then he breathed in deeply and muttered, “Thunder Breathing First Form…” He muttered to himself, and at the same time, an electric current gushed out from his toes. “Thunderclap and Flash!” Then, a flash of light ripped through the space with a sudden thunderbolt. The countless bizarre figures surrounding them burst in a flash. “Thunderclap and Flash! Thunderclap and Flash! Thunderclap and Flash!”[1]

Crackle! Crackle! Crackle! Cracccckle! Thunder and lightning flashed every time he said the skill’s name. Chi-Woo and Soo-Hyun both watched it with matching incredulous expressions. On the other hand, Jihu looked extremely happy, as if this was a rare chance he had thought would never come by until now. Then Soo-Hyun, who was initially taken aback, also gulped in anticipation.

—Eeck! What the hell! Fight properly! Fight me seriously!

Seeing the once arrogant creature desperately cry out, Soo-Hyun felt tempted to join the fun, but above all, Jihu looked like he was having the time of his life. His mind went from ‘What is he doing all of a sudden?’ to ‘What, it looks so fun?’ Frankly, a lot of men were like this; even once they got older, they still had a very childish side to them. No matter how stupid something looked, they wanted to join in if it seemed fun.

“Uh…umm…there’s actually one thing I also wanted to test.” When only Jihu was having fun, Soo-Hyun glanced at Chi-Woo and stepped forward.

“Test?”

“Yes, I read something interesting a while ago. Since it’s come to this, I don’t think it would be a bad idea to play for a bit.”

“What is it…?”

“It’s a tactic to surround and attack tens of thousands of enemies by yourself.”

“What, is that possible?”

“It works. If you do it like this.” The next moment, Soo-Hyun’s figure multiplied to great numbers in an instant. It wasn’t a cloning technique, but the result of leaving many afterimages by moving at a ridiculous speed. In other words, although it looked like there were many of him, there was only one of him in reality.

After creating an immeasurable number of afterimages in an instant like this, Soo-Hyun began surrounding the enemy and attacking them. “This is a one-man siege and annihilation attack!”

Then, he began to surround and attack a large army by himself. This was the moment when a topic that once heated up the Korean Internet was actualizing into reality. [2]

Following Seol Jihu, when Kim Soo-Hyun also joined the fun, Chi-Woo was left alone. And he suddenly felt conflicted, recalling when his comrades asked him if it really was alright for him to act like this. Chi-Woo now finally understood their feelings. The Heavenly King, the Chaos Constellation, and the Golden Constellation. They were all great beings who could encompass the entire universe, but beings like them were now playing like children in the playground. It was too bizarre for it to be real, but above all, he had his prestige and honor as the Heavenly King to upkeep. However, his eyes kept straying toward their direction.

‘N-No, I…’ Chi-Woo tried to turn a blind eye, but he couldn’t stop his gaze from snapping to them. ‘Damn it…’ To be honest, it looked like so much fun. He was so jealous that they could put aside all of their burden and social standing and go back to their childhood. While Chi-Woo was torn between instinct, reason, and alienation, he saw them beckoning toward him.

While laughing and playing together, they seemed to be saying, ‘What are you doing? Why are you staying still? Why are you just watching us like an outcast? Don’t be like that, and let’s all play together without judgement.’

That was the last straw. At that moment, Chi-Woo could no longer suppress his urge. Although he wondered if this really was okay and if he could act like this—

“What the hell!” That didn’t matter anymore. A club made of light emanated from Chi-Woo’s hand. He grabbed it with both hands, swung it around like a windmill, and charged straight through. “I am the Barbarian! Whirlwind—!” He rotated his whole body and participated in the battle. The taste of grinding and crushing every enemy in his path was a five-course meal. The two men welcomed Chi-Woo with a burst of laughter; it sounded as if they had known Chi-Woo would join the fun and like it.

It felt like he was singing with his friends at a karaoke. Chi-Woo laughed because it had been a long time since he felt this way. He let out a pure laugh, completely out of joy.

—What is this…

The mysterious creature dreaming of a glorious end made a tearful expression as they were getting toyed by three people.

* * *

At the same time, there were two beings watching the three from afar. One was a girl with red hair, and the other was a bluish orb. It was Suna and Zero Code. After silently watching from a distance for a long time, Zero Code carefully turned toward Suna.

—If I may…

“Don’t say anything,” she immediately replied. “Please just stay quiet. I’m also stunned by this whole situation.” True to her words, Suna looked extremely befuddled. After finding out that these three beings were going to gather in one place, she ran immediately to where they were, but—

“Take this! Thunderclap and Flash 100 consecutive attacks!”

“Take this! How’s the taste of my one-man annihilation siege!”

“This time, it’s a Leap Attack! Whoo!”

Suna became speechless. Who the hell would see such a sight and think of them as the great Heavenly King, Chaos, and the Golden?

—Well, isn’t this nice?

Zero Code’s voice rang.

—This is much better than their original fate.

Suna didn’t deny that either. Yes, she wasn’t denying it, but— “Even so,” she muttered in a hollow voice, “Even so, it won’t make a difference. Everything has already been decided since the Heavenly King awakened his powers. You must be well aware of that as well.”

The Heavenly King was a being who would destroy the order of the old universe and establish a new origin and order, and Chaos was a being that rejected and destroyed that order and messed everything up. The birth of Chaos was foreseen from the time the Heavenly King had awakened. However, this wasn’t the end. As a result of the emergence of a new being that destroyed the original order and a being that would destroy that again, a new existence was born to rebuild the destroyed order—and that was who the Golden was. In Suna’s eyes, the flow had already gotten way out of hand.

—Well, the future isn’t set in stone.

However, Zero Code saw things a little differently.

—A new flow that would reverse the current flow had already risen.

“A new flow?”

—Originally, the Heavenly King’s and Chaos’s fates could not coexist. The outcome should have been decided before even the Golden was born.

That was exactly what Suna had been saying; the Heavenly King and Chaos should have clashed a long time ago. The result of their battle would determine who would be born next. If the Heavenly King won, another fate of destruction would be born; on the contrary, if Chaos had won, another fate of order would have been born. However, before the results could come out, the Golden was born. Thus, it was worrisome. If they collided in this state, Chaos would have to deal with both the Heavenly King and the Golden at the same time in the worst-case scenario. It would have been extremely disadvantageous for Chaos.

—However, the Golden was born before even the results could be decided, and the next being corresponding to the Golden is also showing signs of being born.

Suna slightly lowered her head.

—They all decided to reject their respective fate and live as human beings, and the result of their decision is the scene they’re showing us right now. Yes, it is as you say. Who would look at them and regard them as great beings that will shake the entire universe? All they would see are immature human beings.

—This flow originated from the will of the Heavenly King, which had a definite effect on the Chaos and the Golden. The Heavenly King decided to leave all of his duties behind and desired to live as a human being, Chaos wanted to shed tears as a human being, and the Golden wanted to remain human more than anyone else, even by throwing away the chance to become greater than all. So…

“So what you’re saying is,” Suna, who had been listening quietly for a while, said, “This flow that has been reversing their original fate will also affect the next being to be born?”

—We don’t know yet.

Zero Code answered calmly.

—Who will it be, and what kind of person they’ll be.

Zero Code suddenly stopped talking and turned their gaze elsewhere.

—Whether they’ll accept this flow or reject it and run out.

Zero Code’s gaze settled on the twinkling blue planet, the Earth.

—I can’t guarantee anything as of right now, but…

Or to be more specific, it was where the Republic of Korea was located.

—Still, it’s worth watching a bit more.

“…How long will it take?”

—Soon.

Zero Code immediately answered Suna’s question.

—It won’t be long.

Zero Code said once more in a firm tone. Indeed, Zero Code was confident that soon, it would be time for the next being to open their eyes, and this person would write their own narrative, comparable to the legends of the previous three. Whether to accept this flow or not—it was up to the main character of that story to decide.

1. This is a move from the anime Demon Slayer. ☜

2. This is a reference to a siege tactic used in a Japanese light novel, Rising from the lowest rung to become the strongest~The cheat was steady effort~, where the mc defeats 5000 elite demon soldiers with 300 soldiers. ☜