To Hell With Being a Hero!

Chapter 55: The First Method to Become a Respected Parent

“There’s a fortress.” Chi-Woo recognized this voice. “Past the mountains and a flowing river…there’s a place called the Fortress of Heavens.”

Chi-Woo slowly turned around. He saw a slim back, thin like a willow tree. Her small shoulders were shrunken back like she was shivering from the cold. Salem Eshnunna was lying on the ground next to Chi-Woo.

“Truthfully, the defense at the capital is not that sturdy, either,” she murmured to herself with her back to Chi-Woo. “My father often said a country is already in ruins if its capital is being threatened. That’s why he tried his best to strengthen the borders.”

Chi-Woo wondered how long she had been lying next to him. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realize her presence, and he wondered why she was suddenly saying these to him. Chi-Woo shifted his gaze back to the night sky and turned the opposite way so that he had his back to Eshnunna as well. An awkward silence permeated the air between them.

“I have a lot of…worries,” Eshnunna spoke again.

‘What worries?’ He wondered if she was concerned about the place they were going to.

“Worries about you.”

Chi-Woo faltered at the surprising response.

“Other people are concerned too…like me.”

“You’re welcome to curse me out,” Chi-Woo replied without realizing what he was doing. “You can blame me for being a liar.” Chi-Woo wanted to comfort her, apologize to her if needed. However, he ended up shaking his head. He felt like he didn’t even have the right to say those words. It would relieve him if she just insulted him until she was satisfied.

“I…” Eshnunna trailed off. It would be a lie if she said she wasn’t bitter. There was a time when she wanted to yell at Chi-Woo like a mad person, asking him about the promise he made. However, Eshnunna knew she couldn’t do that. She knew that Chi-Woo had done his best to keep his promise and had personally undertaken great danger to save everyone. Eshnunna had witnessed his efforts in person, so she could swear by this even though things ended up going awry. Eshnunna couldn’t cry given the situation. She wasn’t the only one who had lost a loved one. Chi-Woo himself bid farewell to two of his close companions at once.

Since then, Chi-Woo had marched on resolutely; he also shed no tears, but his sorrows were apparent. Even when he pretended to be fine, everything else he did displayed his remorse and pain. Eshnunna could understand his feelings better than anyone else since she felt the same. In the beginning, she couldn’t even think of anything. She simply didn’t want to live. She even went to Hawa three times to follow Yohan to death, but was refused each time; and the reason for it was always the same: there must have been a reason why Chi-Woo insisted on keeping her alive, so she shouldn’t think of taking her own life until the reason became apparent.

Thus, the very night of the incident, Eshnunna went to visit Chi-Woo just like that time she was bewitched by the broken ones. She wanted to plead to him to convince Hawa to let her die. But when she came face-to-face with Chi-Woo, the words stuck in her throat and wouldn’t come out. She saw herself in his pain and was able to read him just like she did now.

“I…how could I…” Thus, Eshnunna could no longer blame Chi-Woo. Her voice sounded strained. She gently rolled to the other side to look at Chi-Woo. His back had looked big and strong while fighting off the broken beings, but today, it looked especially small and weak.

The day she went to Chi-Woo to ask for the release of death, she had simply stared at him before returning to her room. Then, she pondered deeply. Time wasn’t a miracle cure that healed all illnesses, but it relieved some of the pain. After a couple of days, her emotions settled down and when they did, she was able to organize some of her thoughts. The decision she reached in the end surprised even herself. She thought deeply about why she had reached upon this particular decision and came up with several reasons; but in the end, one person came to her mind that explained everything.

“It was…really sweet…” She whispered while looking at Chi-Woo. “The crackers…” The day she returned from the ranch, Eshnunna ate the crackers Chi-Woo gave her; munched on each one slowly and swallowed them. They were so sweet, sweet to the point the taste lingered at the tip of her tongue long after she ate them. It was sweet enough for her to desire them again and eat it every day, lamenting, ‘I shouldn’t have eaten it in the first place.’

If she hadn’t known the taste in the first place, it would have been easy for her to resist. Now that she had tasted its sweetness, however, there was no turning back. In the end, she was only human. All it took was a taste of hope for her to yearn for more. Thus, she said, “Thank you.”

Chi-Woo couldn’t believe his ears, but she continued, “Thank you for letting us choose.”

Eshnunna was also aware that there was not much the natives could do but to offer themselves as sacrifices. She realized it when Siegres Reinhardt told them, ‘You knew in your hearts, but simply couldn’t accept it’. She was miserable, completely heartbroken. If she knew this would happen, she would have died earlier. It filled her with so much regret that they went through so many struggles and pain only for her brother to die like this.

However, what Chi-Woo did for them was different. None of his efforts were meaningless, and he showed all of them that they could still hope in this damn hellish world; and thereby changed the natives’ mindset. “Thank you for letting us understand…” Rather than feeling angry, she was sad, and rather than feeling resentful, she was both apologetic and thankful. “Thank you for letting them die a peaceful death without curses and sorrows…” Although they couldn’t die smiling, they had volunteered themselves for their own reason. “Thank you for letting them die with hope.” The only thing that was certain was that those who offered themselves as sacrifices did so willingly, hoping to bring about a better future—just like Yohan, who had smiled because he was happy to be of some help to them, who had asked them to take care of the rest in his stead.

[No, sister.]

[Are you planning to repeat the same mistake?]

Eshnunna’s heart tightened at the thought of Yohan, but her memory of him kept her tethered and compelled her to pick herself up, no matter how much she felt like collapsing then and there. She couldn’t fall, not now; there would have been no point to their sacrifices if she died. And that was why Eshnunna decided to not let Yohan’s death go to waste. She needed to make his death meaningful. In order for that to happen, she must persevere as someone who had survived thanks to their sacrifice. Eshnunna sniffled and cleared her throat.

After a short silence, she finished her sentence with a slightly trembling voice, “…Thank you.” She thanked him for letting her brother and the natives meet a meaningful end and giving hope to the people who were left to prove the worth of their sacrifices. But the words that Eshnunna truly wanted to say was, “So…live.”

Tap.

Chi-Woo felt a soft touch at the back of his neck.

“Don’t blame yourself…” Eshnunna’s shaking breath was warm on his neck, and he felt her rough hair. Her whispers were closer than before. “Stop torturing yourself and…let’s try surviving together.”

Chi-Woo was speechless. Was it because he had heard something so unexpected? Chi-Woo’s spinning head blanked all of a sudden; she was telling him to continue living no matter how awful the situation was. The rock weighing heavily on his chest lifted somewhat, and he finally felt like he could breathe.

Listening to Eshnunna’s soft breaths, he exhaled deeply like he was letting out the emotions he had been bottling in his heart. When he was able to breathe properly again, his hazy mind became a bit clearer. “Ms. Eshnunna…” Chi-Woo regained some of his focus and was about to turn around when he suddenly heard footsteps.

At the same moment, he felt Eshnunna quickly move away from him.

“Sir, it’s time to change shifts.”

It was nothing out of the ordinary; a person had approached Chi-Woo to exchange night shifts with him. Chi-Woo sat up and looked to his side. He didn’t know how Eshnunna was able to move so fast, but she was now lying a meter away from him, acting as if nothing had happened.

“…Okay,” Chi-Woo quietly stared at her and replied. “I got it.”

“…”

“Good night.”

“Okay,” Eshnunna said before whispering in a voice only Chi-Woo could hear, “See you later.”

* * *

There was a saying that commanders who failed in offensive operations could be forgiven, while those who failed to keep up a defense could not. Defense was crucial in any scenario. Heroes who had been leaders on battlefields were well-aware of this fact, so they remained vigilant during marches as well as when they were sleeping.

‘After getting released from the military, I never imagined that I’ll have to do guard duty again.’ Chi-Woo smiled wryly as he exchanged shifts with another person. His mood seemed to have improved if the trivial thoughts surfacing his mind were anything to go by. He hadn’t realized it, but he might have needed someone to comfort him and tell him that it was okay, that it was not his fault, and he had done his best.

‘I should have been the one to comfort her, but…’ Instead, he had been the one being comforted. Eshnunna’s heart was probably in tatters. He didn’t know how miserable he must have looked for Eshnunna to approach him and comfort him, and how painful it must have been for her to say the words she had just said to him. Chi-Woo had at least the presence of mind to realize that, and he reflected on himself.

‘I should get a hold of myself.’ Chi-Woo slapped his cheeks with both hands and tapped his left wrist, turning on the device and opening his user information. What he had been through made him realize one thing: he never wanted the same thing to happen again. People might call him naive, they might say that his ideal was nothing but a pipe dream, but he wanted things to end in a way that he wouldn’t feel tortured about, that would allow him to praise himself for a job well done. To that end, he needed power; power to defeat not just spiritual beings but also physical beings.

‘I need to improve my stats and skills…should I learn sword fighting or something?’

However, once he began to think about how to increase his strength, his future seemed bleak. Considering only the disadvantages, he realized how unfavorable his starting point was.

‘…No, they’re not disadvantages.’

It was more accurate to say that he was looking at his true level of strength without considering the special privileges he was granted with.

“Sigh….” Even though he wanted to get stronger, there was a long way for him to go. If only there was someone to consult with at times like this. He thought of Giant Fist and Mua Janya and sighed deeply. Then he suddenly heard someone approach. When he turned towards the footsteps, he saw a visitor he didn’t expect. The figure who was approaching him was holding a worn-out sword.

“Mr. Ru Amuh?”

The two men looked at each other.

Chi-Woo asked, “Are you here for guard duty? No, that can’t be. I just took over.”

Ru Amuh widened his eyes slightly and sighed in relief. “That’s not it, sir. There’s some time until it’s my turn.” Then he continued, “Sir, you’re…finally speaking.” Ru Amuh smiled in relief. “I wanted to talk to you at least once. However, I couldn’t possibly do so since…”

Chi-Woo realized again how miserable he must have looked and scratched his head. Regardless, Chi-Woo realized that Ru Amuh was here for a personal reason.

“Hmm. I’m on guard right now.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, sir. I’m keeping my senses open to our surroundings.”

With nothing else to say, Chi-Woo turned to face Ru Amuh.

“Why me, sir?” Ru Amuh got straight to the point.

Chi-Woo’s eyes widened in surprise. It didn’t seem like Ru Amuh was joking. He looked extremely serious, in fact, as if he was about to make an important decision. And there was even a faint trace of resentment in his eyes.

‘What’s up with this dude now?’

When Chi-Woo didn’t reply, Ru Amuh spoke up again, “Please tell me. Why did you choose me?”