The Young Lion

Act 2 Ch 5 A Pig in a Crown

Joffrey was currently inside his personal study surrounded by two of his administrators. They stood around his desk as he unrolled the blueprints for his latest and greatest project to date. His Grand Renovation project for the city of Kings Landing. He had been hard at work on this particular project for quite some time. He was quite busy with many of his various duties that required his attention, so in his spare time he would quietly work on it, and it finally had reached completion.

As the city grew more and more prosperous due to Joffrey’s reforms, he found that his citizens were still suffering from some serious concerns. Despite the fact that the workers from his factories were being paid very well, the common people of the capital were still forced to endure terrible conditions of slum and squalor. Since Joffrey considered himself a man who despised such destitution, he had come up with a plan to deal with them. Luckily since Ros had found most of the money that Littlefinger had absconded with they now had more than enough money to implement his plan.

As the name suggested, the Grand Renovation project was a plan to reconstruct the poorly built city into a thriving state of the art city. The likes of which Westeros had never seen before. The plan consisted of three critical points.

The first was sanitation, he planned to have city-wide sewers and plumbing where the waste would go through a filtration system and eventually flow out of the city walls into the bay. He eventually planned to have the stonemasons help him construct an aqueduct like the Romans used, then with sand filters he would build cisterns that would provide clean water for all his citizens. He eventually wanted to build a massive bathhouse just as the Romans used that would be free to all of king's landing to encourage personal hygiene. Normally this would be difficult to establish on an already built city, but thankfully king Jaehaerys, one of the few competent kings already did most of the groundwork for him.  

Next would be building affordable housing in large apartment-like complexes. The complexes would replace the various inns and cramp half ass personal buildings. He would pay the innkeepers for their businesses and renamed them the managers of the complexes in return for the real estate. Like other businesses under the crown they would pay up thirty percent of their income to him, while keeping the lions share for themselves. The houses would be built with traditional aesthetic appearance, but with twenty first style interior integrity with cold hard steel lining the frames and supports. Which would be much more resistant compared to the current stone walls that were currently being used.

Finally the last component would be defense. With war raging all around them Joffrey knew it was time to fix the many flaws with the walls and gates of his city’s defenses. He planned to build up all seven gates to equal strength and reinforce the stone walls with steel reinforced concrete. Which would be much stronger and more resilient than any traditional stone wall could ever be. At the edges of his new walls would be pointed fortifications called bastions that eliminate blind spots. He planned to line the walls with scorpions, Hwachas, and a stockpile of his grenades once they were safe to use.

Below the walls would be a wide trench lined with wooden spikes covered in oil much like the Romans used to secure their forts in enemy territory. The trench would render any attempt to seize almost impossible. In this time period no one would have the capabilities to lay siege to such a fortress, say for one, who thankfully was across the narrow sea with her fire babies.

“What do you think Tobho, can it be done?” He asked the old man who was looking at the blueprints in awe.

Joffrey never ceased to amaze him; he had hoped to have grown accustomed to the young king's antics, yet here he was once again being amazed at the young man's ambition and ingenuity. He always knew a headache was coming on whenever Joffrey called him into his personal chambers.

“Can it be done? Short answer yes, but it will be incredibly expensive.” He responded holding his forehead.

Joffrey reached out and clasped the old man’s shoulder giving him a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry we’ll be able to cover the cost.” He said as he looked up at his new master of coin who nodded her head.

“Well even then sir, this isn’t a project that can be finished overnight.” He started to explain. “The sanitation shouldn’t be an issue, but the fortifications and renovations will take months if not years to complete.”

He admired the extent that the king was willing to go to for his people's welfare. Truly there has never been a more benevolent king to sit the throne, at least that's what Tobho thought. He could only imagine the amount of work he had put into designing these blueprints. That's why he didn’t want him to get his hopes up only to be disappointed. Joffrey just nodded his head upon hearing of Tobho's concerns.

“That's fine, I know this isn’t an adventure that will be completed in a month, but an ongoing effort in the coming years. As long as it's possible then I don’t care how much it costs.” He said enthusiastically.

Tobho just let out a heavy sigh and accepted Joffrey’s decision.

“As you wish, your grace. After all, we currently have a large surplus of steel in our storehouses.

“Good I want you to focus on sanitation and defense above all else. I’ll leave the details to you and your workers, if you have any need for funds just contact Ros.” He gestured to the redhead who tilted her head.

“Now if you’ll excuse me I have a rather annoying meeting I must attend to.” 

The pair bowed their heads and left his chamber leaving him alone in his study. 

“Now to see a pig in a crown.” He said his voice filled with disdain.

[Inside the Great Sept of Baelor]

Joffrey was sitting across from the faith of the sevens high septon. Apparently it was supposed to be the head position of the religion, much like the pope in Joffrey's previous world. He was supposed to be the most devout, a symbol to lead the people into the god’s grace and light. Though all Joffrey saw was a fat pig in fancy robes wearing a pretentious jewel crown. He was a squat man and was ponderously fat with long gray hair.

In the original story line he was supposed to be killed during the riot of kings landing by the common folk of flea bottom. They quite literally tore him limb from limb and used his fat ass to sate their starvation. Though thanks to Joffrey’s reforms and importing food, he was able to avert the starvation brought on by the Tyrell’s blockade. Thus the old pig continued to be able to indulge himself in this new timeline.

“Your high holiness to what do I owe the pleasure of this invitation?” Joffrey asked politely with a fake smile on his face.

The fat pig was jugging wine out a gilded chalice and stuffing his face with what Joffrey hoped was pork. He quickly swallowed the food in his mouth before speaking.

“Your grace, thank you so much for arriving here on such short notice.” He said, giving the king a smile, his mouth stained with grease. “You’ve done well to revitalize the capital since you took your rightful place on the throne. The gods' wisdom and grace truly shine through you.”

Joffrey had to prevent himself from laughing upon hearing the piggy’s words.

“As if the gods or whatever have anything to do with my success.” He thought disdainfully.

“Thank you for your kind words, your holiness.” He actually said.

The pig just smiled in return, he snapped his fingers and a young septa then entered to bring the pig more food. The young lady was around Sansa’s age twelve, maybe thirteen. After placing the plate on the desk she bowed her head and turned to leave. As she walked away Joffrey caught out of the corner of his eye the high Septon's leer. He stared at her round ass and licked his lips with lust filling his disgusting eyes. Joffrey was suddenly very happy to not have brought Sansa with him to the great Sept, as he would have carved out the little piggy’s eyes if he stared at her with such obvious intent.

Joffrey coughed, snapping him out of his lustful thoughts.

“I don’t want to appear rude but I do have other matters to attend to today.” He said his patience was waning.

“Oh, yes yes of course.” He said setting down his food he had just grabbed. He brought his hand together and looked at the young king.

“It's come to my attention that most of the money that snake Littlefinger had stolen has recently been recovered, is this true?” He said his intentions become more and more evident.

“Yes, with the help of my new master of coins we were able to recover the majority of the money.” He said, hiding his annoyance.

“It seems whores have more than one use after all.” He said laughing to himself.

“Did you call me all the way here just to mock my small council members to my face?” He asked his anger growing at the pig’s insolence. 

Feeling the young king's anger, the pig realized he had overstepped and quickly moved to backtrack. 

“No, no, that was not my intention, your grace.” He waved his arms frantically apologizing. 

“Why don’t you skip the groveling and tell me what it is you want high septon.” He said sternly.

The high septon took a moment to regain his composure and proceeded to make his request.

“I would like the crown to repay the debt that is owed to the faith due to the former master of coin’s borrowing.”

Joffrey became silent for a moment as if pondering the request and all the implications.

“Now see, that wasn’t so hard was it?” He asked sarcastically “Very well I will see the debt owed to the faith repaid.”

The pig’s face broke out into a smile hearing the king's words, he had grown fearful that Joffrey would simply refuse to repay Littlefinger's debts due to his treachery. Everything was actually falling within Joffrey’s calculations. He always intended to pay back the crown's debts to the various parties that they owed. Though the Iron Bank and Tywin were more of a physical threat compared to the church, Joffrey knew very well not to meddle with them if he didn’t have to. The piggy sickened him with his corruption and gluttony, but he was at least manageable and could be controlled. He couldn’t let a certain old sparrow obtain power after all.

“The church will receive annual payments until the debt of one million gold is repaid.” He said, looking to end the discussion. “Will that suffice?”

“Oh yes indeed.” He said his eyes veiled with greed.

“Good” Joffrey then stood up and offered his hand to the obese man. “We’ll hammer out the details with my master of trade and coin at a later date.”

“Of course, your grace.” The man quickly shook the king's hand with his grease bear paws.

“Then I bid you good day.” He said tilting his head in a polite gesture before turning to leave. 

As he moved out of the chamber he used his pocket square to wipe the sledge from his hands. His face was filled with disgust and feeling the need for another bath after smelling the man’s stench. The fat pig just sat back down at his table and ordered more food and drink be brought to him as he fantasized about the mountain of gold he would soon possess.