The Werewolf King's Bride

(From Blue's Perspective)

"His Highness will come back very soon. Two months will go by in the blink of an eye," Calix said.

I was in a bad and miserable state. Calix had been trying to comfort me in every way he could. He made me tea, arranged my documents even when I did not tell him to, cleaned my desk because he thought a tidy space would make me feel better and he also suggested going on a walk in the garden.

"I am being pathetic…," I sighed. "My eyes are all red now. Anyone can see I have cried too much. For what though? It's not like he is not gonna come back. I am overreacting."

"I can't help it… I feel like something will go wrong. This feeling… It just won't go away. It's too ominous…," I added.

"It sometimes happens with some people, I heard. Sometimes, it's baseless as it doesn't have a logical explanation. We cannot see the future after all, nor can we predict it. It's just if something wrong keeps on happening, there is an automatic feeling of uneasiness that something wrong might happen again. If something goes too well, we also feel that way.

And we don't know about a lot of things, what I mean is if there are a lot of mystery around us regarding our lives, the same feeling appears," he said.

"… You have a point there," I said. "So, what you mean is regardless of what happens in our lives, if someone thinks too much, they are bound to feel this way?"

"Yes," he gave a nod.

"… When have you grown up so much, Calix? You have gotten smarter," I said.

"Please don't make fun of me, Your Highness."

"I am not," I said sincerely. "I mean what I said. Actually, you are right. It's baseless. I cannot see the future after all. If there is a god, I believe even they can't see the future.

I just think too much."

I had the problem of thinking too much from childhood. I always thought of a lot of negative possibilities about every situation which was harmful to not just my mental health, but also my physical health.

"Don't just work, Your Highness. Let's take a walk sometime too," he said. "It will clear your mind and make you feel better."

"Not today. I feel too tired to do so," I said. "Let's do it starting tomorrow. That said, aren't you going to the festival?"

There was a festival every year. Dem had gone out during the festival season last year. It was the same this year.

It suddenly reminded me of Ezekiel. Thinking about him made me very angry. Because of his foolish love for me, I had to lose my child. I could never forgive him for this. Isaac, Dem's cousin, was as much guilty as him. Both of them planned it.

"I am not sure. The knights will go. Maybe I will go too once or twice," he said.

"You get the evening off. So, you can go," I said.

"Won't Your Highness go?"

"I don't think so. Festivals are not that great for me."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't like crowded places. They give me a headache," I said.

Besides, what happened after I went to the festival last year did not make me want to visit it again. After coming from the festival last year, Ezekiel took advantage of me and kissed my neck when I was drunk. Dem had seen it and was very angry. He had the right to be. I would have gotten angry if I had seen another woman kissing him.

Just having a dream about him being intimate with another woman made me angry and I was sure even if I was immortal, I would remember that dream for eternity. Seeing something like that in real life would break me and make me go crazy.

'Well, my Dem is not like that. He is very loyal and loving. He would never do something like that. That stupid dream…'

"Has Your Highness gone there last year?" he asked.

"I did," I gave a nod. "I drank for the first time there. It was a disaster. I don't even want to remember that time."

"It must have been pretty bad," he said.

"It was," I said.

I was chatting with him while doing my work in my office. Calix was truly an amazing person to hang out with. He was younger than me, so I felt like I was responsible for him even though he was the one guarding me. He was more mature than Perita who was at least five years older than him.

I had to make sure Perita did not cross the line of being childish, so I developed the habit of taking care of Calix as well.

After my work was done, I went to have lunch. I invited Calix and Perita to have lunch with me as I felt lonely.

"Your Highness!" Perita exclaimed and hugged me as soon as she saw me.

"Why are you being like this to Her Highness?" Calix grumbled, pulling her so she would let go of me.

"His Highness has left this morning, hasn't he? I knew Your Highness will be lonely, so I brought this for Your Highness," Perita said and showed me a small box that she had in her pocket. She did not pay any attention to Calix.

"What is this?" I asked.

"It's some seeds," she replied.

"Seeds?" I asked.

"I did not Her Highness likes growing plants…," Calix mumbled.

'That's because I don't.'

"It's no usual seeds. The seeds will start growing into a single plant within twelve hours after planting them," Perita said. "I bought them from the market. That guy had a few seeds and I bought all of them as he said it will look more beautiful if there are more seeds. He said this plant will do something to relieve loneliness."

"You believe that? You were scammed," Calix said.

"Nah, my mother had this plant too. It was in her room. I was not allowed to go there, so I don't know. But she also said that it relieved the feeling of loneliness," she said. "Please take it, Your Highness."

"Ah, thank you," I said with a smile. "That was very thoughtful of you."

"Welcome," she grinned. "I don't want to see Your Highness unhappy. I don't know what more to do. But if Your Highness wants me to do something to make you feel better, please feel free to do so. I can even beat Calix up if Your Highness wants me to."

"No, I don't want that," I chuckled. "You two are important to me and are very helpful and supportive. I am glad to have you both. Anyway, let's have lunch, shall we?"

The chef made all the things that I liked as if it was my birthday. It was like a feast. Well, every day was like a feast for me as the Queen. But today, it was even more than before.

"Dig in, you two," I said.

"It's an honor, Your Highness," Calix said.

"Stop being too formal when there is no one else," I said. "I told you before too."

"Yes, but I feel guilty sometimes."

"Why?" I muttered, taking a sip of my watermelon juice.

"I mean, Your Highness is our Queen and you are very kind. Sometimes, I feel like I am not doing enough," he said. "Life as a knight is hard. But I and Perita don't have to live that hard life as Your Highness's personal guards. We are supposed to stand behind Your Highness all the time, but we don't have to do that when there is no one else.

When it was raining that day and we were in the garden, Your Highness pulled me under the umbrella as well. When I had a small fever, Your Highness gave me a break. Your Highness gives us bonuses very often. Really, I feel like we are not doing enough for Your Highness, at least, I feel that I am not doing enough."

"What nonsense? You both are doing your best. I don't expect anything else," I said. "You two respect me and listen to me. That's all I need."

"See? Your Highness is again as kind as usual," he chuckled.

'Kind and me? Am I doing things a kind person would do? I don't know… I don't understand them much. Just because the Royals are usually self-centered people who think they are gods doesn't mean I have to be the same. I am self-centered enough to be rude to others who work for me. But I am not particularly kind either.

Considering how other Royal usually I might seem like a saint, but in reality, I am just being a regular human.'Nôv(el)B\\jnn