The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Chapter 27: Acquiring a slightly useful skill

"THAT'S INSANE SECTMASTER!!!

THAT IS THE CRAZIEST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD AND I'VE BEEN JOURNEYING WITH YOU FOR A WHILE ALREADY!!"

[Relax. I know what I'm doing.]

Well I kinda get where he's coming from.

I did ask him to stab me as hard as he could and to keep going.

#NoHomo!

Well it's also necessary.

The first problem I want to address is my defense. Rather than have it be an active skill I want to turn it into a passive one. Actually, I kinda already have that going for me, but it is not strong enough as is.

I need it to be reliable no matter the situation.

And the fastest way to reach that is with some pain.

In my opinion anyway.

I'll just have him try to hurt me continuously until it has no effect anymore.

Of course, I have no issue in the short term.

Only problem I have is I can't seem to last long.

I just want to clarify this doesn't apply to the bedroom.

[Here is the plan. Try your best to dish as much damage as possible while evading the vital points. This way even if I do screw up, I won't die.]

"But still."

[I'd rather train with you. If you can't do it, I'll have to train my skills with wild beasts. That would be way riskier.]

"*sigh* I understand sectmaster! I'll do it!"

[Good. I'm just going to lie on the ground. You can start whenever. Remember don't stop no matter what. No need to be gentle. I like it rough. (the training)]

I need to be one with divine power. I need to make boosting my defense a second nature. As easy as breathing or drinking or failing NNN.

Think of nothing. Always have divine power circulate. Keep calm. Relax.

"Be careful sectmacter."

And so, the stabby-stab times begin. It doesn't hurt much.

I just need to endure and somehow make it work.

C'mon if even a narcissistic asshole of a fake goddess can learn that shit why can't I.

Well what I'm doing is probably an imitation to be honest but whatever.

Keep calm. Be one with the divine power.

And so officially begins the second training session of this life.

Time for a training montage!

HIT IT DJ!

****

(>< )

8-bit tune

Test your might

One sword swing at a time

Test your might

C'mon hit me like there's no tomorrow!

Test your might

Oh, even Wolfie joined the fray! Damn this wolf looks hella cute right now.

Test your might

Do your best people! Well Wolfie is obviously useless here, but it's the effort that counts!

MORTAL COMBAT!!!!

Can it be called mortal combat if they ain't aiming for the vitals?!

Du-du-du-du-du-du-du

Probably not but whatever.

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh

At least they are using real swords. Well one real sword plus claws and teeth.

Du-du-du-du-du-du-du

I'm still here having no issue!

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh

C'mon keep going!

Excellent!

So far so good!

In my head I imagine the 8-bit melody starting over again.

This is gonna be long but it's gonna be worth it.

(>< )

Oh, gotta be careful I'm getting sleepy.

(>.<) zzZ

IT FUCKING HURTS. OMFG HELP I'M A HUMAN SKEWER!!!!

AH FUCK!

Divine energy! I'm as good as new now.

[Keep going. I obviously need more practice.]

(>< )

8-bit tune.

Test your might.

Honestly, I gotta find a way to keep it active even while I'm sleeping.

Now that's what I'd called a real passive!

This is no ability. I, myself, am resistant period. It is a part of my being. Remain calm.

Stabby-stab over and over.

And I'm getting sleepy again.

(-, - )zzzZZZ

Ah what's with the itching?!

Goddamn mosquitoes!! Leave me the fuck alone!!!

Oh. There are no bugs. It's just a warrior and a wolf. How does that weak ass wolf still have energy to keep attacking?! I guess it took a long break while I was sleeping.

I've been wounded by a rank 3 warrior, but he's obviously holding back.

Guess I'm at the point where my passive defense can block attacks from rank 2 beings?

Oh well whatever. I'm improving!

That's good. Keep going.

(>< )

8-bit.

Test your might.

(>< )

Stay calm. Time to count the sheep. Maybe I should count overwolves instead?

Well keep the massage up I'm gonna nap a bit.

( --)?

**** (POV)

Ah. Sectmaster. *Sigh*

You being suicidal is one thing. But to ask me of all people to do it?!

How am I supposed to keep my head up if I end up killing the prophet of the unnamed god?

This is mad. This is a horrible idea. This is plain stupidity.

Not only did he leave to explore the forest alone, but he even came back all battered up.

And now this ... *sigh*

What am I gonna do?

I'm pretty sure whenever I kick the bucket it will be because of one of your crazy whims.

Well whatever. Either I do it or he goes back to getting pummeled by monsters.

Guess it can't be helped.

Time to start.

*Slash*

At first I carefully attack him. Isn't his defense a bit too strong?!

I saw him fight a rank 2 overwolf beforebut he can defend against my attacks too.

That is impressive. Only question is how long can he last?

Time to increase the tempo.

He's started humming a song. Not sure what it isbut it is weird.

It is unlike anything I've ever heard.

Well whatever. Less thinking more slashing.

Why are his eyes closed? Does he have trouble enduring?

He seems fine.

DID HE FUCKING FALL ASLEEP?!

Wtf. Is.Wrong. With.This. Man.

0_0

Guess he wasn't kidding when he said he knows what he's doing.

He's still untouched.

This is honestly really . *OUCH!*

What?

My sword is going straight trough his abdomen!

OH FUCK! WHAT DID I DO!? NOW WHAT I NEED TO HEAL HIM! BUT HOW?

Wait.

He is healing by himself?

What is happening?

He's awake now.

I'm supposed to keep going. Seriously?!

Fuck whatever. I'll just do it.

I stab and I stab and I stab.

*pant* *pant*

And I stab. And I stab. And I stab.

*PANT* *PANT*

And Istab ! And I .stab !

I'm totally spent. This is harder than it looks.

I'll have to take a break.

*sip* water tastes heavenly after a good workout.

The wolf is still attacking him.

I wasn't paying much attention before but now that I'm looking closely...

Is it me or it increased its intensity by a lot?

At first it was playfully going at it.

Now it really feels like it's trying to take a bite out of him.

Sometimes switching to trying to eviscerate him.

Yep. That rank 5? Beast is trying to kill him.

What the fuck am I witnessing.

No seriously.

Am I dreaming?

That is the only explanation.

I've been dreaming for the last months or so.

Maybe I'm still in the dungeon.

Is this a new torture method Grey came up with?

Or maybe the warden created a hallucinogen?

*ZOOM*

What is that.?

WHAT IS THAT!

Mana is gathering at an insane rate. That's a rank 5?'skill for you !

I seems to be null magic. Magic that has absolutely no element. It can be harder to control instead.

I can see phantom claws stretch from the wolf's paws. Yep. One touch and I'm a goner.

And such a deadly attack is aimed at a sleeping man.

Is it the end of the road sectmaster? Why is this feeling familiar?

*Sound of an ultimate attack landing*

How is he?! The sheer mana concentration upon the point of impact is blinding me.

It is too oppressive for me to directly look at it.

And? ...He's fine. he seems to be waking up.

He's grumbling something?

As I come closer, I hear him mumble.

Something about being bitten by a mosquito.

Did he mistake that . for a mosquito bite?

WTF?!

My instinct is telling me all this is real

My rationality tells me this is impossible

Me: 0_0

The wolf: 0_0

( _ ) _()_/