The Systemic Lands

Chapter 513: Day 4,815 – XLR8

“Main man Emperor!” XLR8 said in his booming voice. He gave a bow and a salute at the same time and then sauntered up to the chair opposite me.

“XLR8,” I greeted him back. The man was a character. But he had been a huge streamer back on Earth and had a decent head on his shoulders. While his personality was eccentric, he was actually quite a clever person under the façade.

He also knew where his bread was buttered literally. Since Clarissa had a strong control over the butter market along with other food markets. He was the government approved news source, the only approved news source.

His two assistants gave deep bows as they entered the room behind him and they moved under the watchful eyes of my protection detail to a table set up nearby to transcribe this interview so XLR8 could broadcast it tomorrow morning.

“So, I have been hearing all sorts of rumors. You were wounded. You battled a dragon. Also, people have a lot of questions they wanted to ask you,” he replied.

“Go ahead. Hit me with your best shots,” I replied, and he grinned.

“That is why I like you, not afraid to take on the tough questions.” While his reporting had to be pro-government, we did let him ask hard hitting questions. It was a gray sort of boundary, but I could always say no, and he would accept it. If he didn’t I would melt him without hesitation. I had no use for news outside of my control.

“Well, first question then, are you injured? And if so how?” XLR8 asked me.

“I was injured. By overextending myself in a battle with a level 7 monster,” I replied. I then went into detail on the fight, and only labeled my injury as curse damage that I had already mostly fixed. I made sure to speak slowly and clearly so the transcribers could keep up.

“Now onto the questions people really want to know the answer to. You have said there is nothing between you and Clarissa. So, are there any plans with Michelle?” I closed my eyes and resisted the urge to melt XLR8.

“No. While there has been the occasional female companionship over the years, there is no plans for an Empress, or child, or anything similar at this time,” I replied. XLR8 was grinning and nodding.

“So, you are available then? Would you consider hosting a gala or a ball? There is talk about having a massive celebration on day 5,000 combined with the planned city upgrade?”

“It is being considered. But since you are asking I am guessing Supreme Governor Clarissa has confirmed it?” I asked back.

“Indeed. Day 5,000 is shaping up to be quite an event and celebration of the Empire of Purgatory.”

“I will commit to attending,” I replied. If I didn’t Clarissa would nag me and give me annoyed looks. I had to make some public appearances, and this was going to be a major celebration.

“That will be quite exciting, I hope I get an invite,” XLR8 said with a wink at me.

“Of course. You are the court jester after all,” I gave him a zinger in return.

“Ouch, right to my heart. Will you be attending in formal wear, or armor?” he asked me.

“Armor is formal wear. We are in a new land XLR8, that means new customs. With skills being the equivalent of guns, we are a martial society. A martial Empire. It is only through our brave grinders in the wilderness that the Empire of Purgatory continues, and I have the resources to push into the unknown. They have my thanks and gratitude.”

“There is another rumor going around, that someone passed onto me. A golden cube-“

“Seal the room, and remove the transcribers gently,” I instantly said. My protection detail quickly acted. XLR8 paled a bit.

“I am sorry, if it is something I shouldn’t have said,” he nervously replied.

“Wait please. Is the room secured?” I asked one of my soldiers who gave me an affirmative. “Now XLR8, where did you hear about a golden cube?” I asked.

“Well someone found one and they reported it to their governor, or he found out. Then they disappeared. This was over in Normandy,” he replied and I nodded at this. Clarissa had already shown me the incident report.

The person was unhinged. They had wished for laser eyes. That was so incredibly stupid, I would toss them into the void myself if she hadn’t already handled it. It made me want to puke out blood in rage. The fourth meta-point user over the last decade to show up. Each one with one more stupid wish than the last.

The first had been a skill that turned them into a woman. They wasted near limitless power for something so stupid. Their choice was death worthy. So, they got removed. Then there was the woman who wished to give birth to Jesus. She got melted before we could witness whatever horror the Almighty System cooked up, and her remains tossed into the void for good measure.

Doctor Katz had confirmed it wasn’t a human child growing inside of her. That was all I needed to know. One Avatar was enough. The third person had wished for a flying skill. He had told me to go screw myself and wasn’t obeying any Emperor. He got melted. Now the latest person had wished for something stupid, a laser eye skill.

I felt sick to my stomach at the thought such idiots got meta-points. The Almighty System was clearly screwing with me in some way. Or had a twisted sense of who got them. After my last battle, I didn’t even want to hear anything about meta-points. At least Clarissa knew that, but XLR8 hadn’t gotten the message.

“They are called meta-points. Given by the Almighty System to random idiots who impress it in some asinine way. They are basically wishes. People have been wishing for stupid things,” I explained.

“Oh, then why not tell people so they can wish for better things?” he asked.

“If people know about them, they have a much harder time getting them,” I replied.

“Then you don’t….okay,” he quickly shut up when he saw the extreme death glare I was giving him. My killing intent was leaking into my Aura as well.

“They are considered top secret, ultra classified. You are to never to speak of them on air and anyone that tells you of them, you are to report it to your minder. This is considered a national security threat,” I explained.

“Alright, won’t say anything and my people know how to shut up,” he quickly said.

“I hope so. Since this is one issue there is no leeway on, or a gray area. Meta-points are strategic resources. If you want to help, talk about wishing for a portable store or knowledge. Important things, not laser eyes, gender swap skill, or birthing the anti-Christ. The sheer stupidity of some people is impressive,” I went on a little rant. This topic really pissed me off like nothing else.

After all my battles, headaches, and tribulations. People beat the death monster and picked the stupidest things possible. That was why I had put effort into starting a religion. Get the crazy people viewing me as divinity and have them wish me their meta-points to empower their holy champion.

That was the long term goal, but it hadn’t yielded any results. I would need to take a heavier hand in things, since it was going so poorly. I looked at XLR8. “You are getting a promotion,” I said.

“What? What kind of promotion?” he hurriedly asked.

“You are being named High Priest of the Church of the Almighty System,” I told him.

“What?! But I am a news caster and reporter, not a High Priest, I would be a terrible High Priest,” he quickly said. I completely ignored his objections.

“You can add in sermons and during your travels you can assist the set up of new parishes in each and every city, spreading the good word of The Power Guide,” I explained.

“Why me?” he asked with a dejected sigh.

“A good job gives you more work. There will be a pay raise. The key part of being the High Priest is to subtly suggest that the people support me with the power of gold.” His eyes went wide as he got it.

“And the current High Priest?” he asked nervously.

“Getting an early retirement into the void for not trying hard enough or doing a good enough job,” I explained, and he paled further.

“I might not be the best choice. I know several people who would be interested,” XLR8 quickly said and I slowly shook my head.

“You need a dramatic come to religion moment. Perhaps this interview and being awed by my sheer power and determination convinced you. I expect enthusiasm and lots of converts,” I told him.

“I…yes Emperor Michael,” he accepted his fate and I nodded. It was good to be in charge.

“And you can find a replacement once I get a meta-point and a pay raise for your additional title as High Priest. Also, you can design the outfits for the clergy. My church has been doing poorly and not gotten any fish on the hook. I expect that to change.”

“How riled up do you want people to be?” he asked me.

“I want them devout. The level of their devoutness is the only thing I care about. I want Jesus and all those other religious figures to be forgotten. There should only be two names in their mind. The Almighty System and Emperor Michael,” I told him.

“I…I will review the scripture, the Power Guide,” he replied.

“Good, make sure to bring your usual enthusiasm. Now we can let your people back in and give them the good news about your come to Michael moment,” I told him.

“Isn’t it come to Jesus…never mind. I get it,” he said and I nodded. Since I was going to be stuck in Purgatory for a while, it was time I took a firm hand in my church. No more useless meta-points being lost to stupid wishes. I bet there was some idiot who wished to return to Earth and probably ended up in a level 10 zone or in the void.

There were too many idiots with no sense of things. Clarissa had worked hard to spread rumors of a portable store being the best option, but no one picked up on that. Idiots, I was surrounded by idiots wishing for stupid things and an Almighty System that was unforgiving.

I killed a level 7 monster. Sure, I had a bit of help, but I did 99% of the work. But like the Avatar said, if you weren’t at 100% favor, it didn’t count. No almost meta-points. I would have screamed in rage, but now there was just a cold hard scab in my soul.

I had resigned myself to never getting one. XLR8 asked the wrong question and made me think about this issue some more, so he got volunteered to help create a solution. I wanted fanatics who would slit their wrists and give me their meta-points. My popularity was high, but apparently the four people came from that portion of the population that were idiots.

We might need to start up a screening process for them. Just toss the idiots into the void or use them for some sort of human testing. There was enough demand that it wouldn’t be a waste. The person who Doctor Katz had found, Jacob Copper, was quite talented in working out the flesh energy reactions. He was always asking for more people to test his theories on and had come up with quite a few.

He was even clever enough to come up with ideas on how the Divine Empress and the Astrologer accomplished a lot of things and what the flesh wall in the Forbidden City had been about. He even could make screaming furniture from Karens. I didn’t keep any of course, but it was good to know that option was available if I ever needed it.

I should speak with him to see if there was a way to have a proxy flesh bag or clone take on curse damage instead, transfer it away, or have a quick replacement. Curse damage was the absolute worst.