The Summoner's Rebirth: Awaken, Milady

Chapter 136: Desperation

Thinking about that, Aria began instructing Alena on how to apply the basic techniques of the factors she mentioned before.

After a few rounds of back and forth discussion and preparation, Aria truly felt the aura of a scholar emanating from Alena.

The little girl was really a genius. She not only took very little time to memorize what Aria had said, but she was also capable of forging her own understanding and explanation on that matter. She was simply gifted in her brain department. After just a few questions, she was able to grasp the concept well and digest it.

However, when it actually came to application, Alena found herself struggling, and Aria could tell that she was actually significantly behind to those who were of the same age as her. Her physical abilities were lacking.

Perhaps because she was not mentally ready, and her mind was shadowed with her past where she believed that she was physically weak and would not be able to perform harsh exercises, the effect stayed up until now, when she became a Hunter and was actually supposed to have physical abilities that should be at least higher than normal human beings.

Even though Alena was in this state right now, she should actually be hiding her part of her abilities. Only when she was able to erase the impact that her past brought her and focus on continuing forth would she be able to fully advance quickly.

Alas, Aria did not give up in teaching the child and demonstrating things repeatedly, and neither did Alena in trying despite continuous failure at replicating what she was supposed to do. Sweat was already covering her from head to toe, but not once did she tell Aria to let her have a break. She always politely told the elder to coach her once more, and apologized for her shortcomings while gritting her teeth in frustration. Determination could be seen inside her eyes, a burning passion for growth and willpower to continue onwards.

This kind of flaming desire, even if she had an initial handicap, once she actually got the hang of things and began to applicate it the way it was supposed to, Alena would already have the brain to implant strategical methods to win. She only lacked the power. In terms of strategizing, Alena was gifted, just like she was in the intellectual section.

Aria observed the child as she heaved several breaths to the point of wheezing, clearly indicating that she was way beyond her limits and that she should not be going further anymore. Before anything bad could happen, Aria decided to step in and end everything. She walked towards the child, who was practicing the movements while her body slowly limped and became sluggish from overexertion.

Aria clapped twice, creating a ringing sound that distracted Alena from her focus and turning her head towards Aria's way, showing a rather dumbfounded expression.

"Alright. That's enough for today. It's not that I am giving up on you, but it's because your body also needs to rest in order to progress. This training ground is still lacking for proper training since its all bare and dry.. but once you actually install platforms that suit real combat terrains and use them for you training, your learning will spike up since you will actually get an idea of how its like to move around eloquently. Theory is great and all, but you need to overcome the fear of actually doing the actions. It's not anything scary yet, so I hope you won't be as scared as you were today. You hesitated too much in your movements, so your momentum was caught off," Aria lectured, making the little girl lower her head down and purse her lips.

Aria sighed as she too was feeling pity for the girl. It wasn't her fault, it was the continuous years of nonstop torment that caused her to stoop down this low. If only her background was a bit different, then perhaps she wouldn't have this kind of handicap attached to her.

Aria thought about means to console the little girl and finally came up with one.

"..Actually, in a battle, you might find yourself doing much better than in training. You are not given a sense of security, and if you want to live, survive, and get out of the battle as the victor.. You will have something called desperation. Desperation and last resort moments, adrenaline rushes, those will significantly impact your performance. However, you can't rely on those factors entirely since not every battle with have the specific conditions to incite the desperation inside your heart," Aria said. "Naturally.. In training, you will have the mindset of your safety being guaranteed since you are in a secluded place. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as training like this would also give you soft experience and just generally improve yourself. But it's not practical in real battle if you don't prepare yourself and make sure that you will be able to do the same things you did in the training sessions before a real battle approaches,"

"Then.. What should I do? I can't opt for that either.." Alena became even more dispirited as she asked.

Naturally, Aria did not just bring the topic up in order to offer the child about an option that she would not be able to utilize.

"Another way to incite desperation exists," Aria spoke, looking at Alena with eyes full of melancholy.

"..And that is?" Alena questioned, tilting her head as her curiosity spiked up.

"Comparison... and competition. If you are pitted against someone who are much better than you, and you feel the urge to obtain victory over them, then you will obviously become desperate. You want to surpass them, yet you can't. Especially if they are able to achieve the same result you did by three times less the effort you put in. This kind of setting.. Of course it would scratch your heart and make you frustrated... and your desire to grow will soar high. That kind of thing, it would bring change into not only one battle, but it will last for a long time... Months, years, or even a lifetime. Just chasing one person, the person you compare yourself to and put yourself down for,"

"Big sister, were you ever desperate in the same way you just mentioned?" Alena saw something flicker inside Aria's eyes that seemed so genuine that she almost believed that the older woman was speaking from her own experience. However, how could that be? Aria was as powerful as no one else in indescribable meanings. Like she wasn't someone of their caliber, and that she was a prime expert in the sea of Hunters that were akin to small fishes.

Aria was too out of the bunch. Would she ever feel desperation if that was what she possessed in herself? If she was better than anybody else, then who surpassed her? Who could incite desperation in someone called 'the best'?

"...Are you thinking that I have never felt it? Of course I have. Being desperate.. that kind of thing, I have already felt it a thousand times. Once, I was just as innocent, just as pure, just as clueless as any normal child. But if you are exposed to dangerous situations where you have to adapt to survive.. Naturally, you have to learn how to quickly adapt and adjust your conditions. Or else, you are going to get swept by the heavy waters and fall back," Aria reminisced the days where she thought that her master showed disappointment, and that he was going to abandon her.

That never turned out to be the case, but the feeling that you are about to be abandoned was heavily unpleasant, and it made Aria emotionlessly train until her body gave up and fainted, so that she could achieve the perfect result and erase the face of disappointment that her master had. Because at that time, before Zehell disappeared, her life truly revolved around her master and his views. Not once did she try to implement her own input, and she was just blindly digging and digging into Zehell's views, which were poured into his writings and words.

"That kind of desperation.. How were you able to feel it in the modern world? Even though I was also brought up in a rather.. competitive family.. I did feel a bit desperate, if I think about it. But I never really thought as far as to sacrifice everything just to surpass another. I would work hard, but that's it. I could rely on my talent.. That's a competition too, right? But I don't feel that desperate. I am able to manage," Alena voiced her concerns, confused as to why she couldn't fully force herself to the point Aria mentioned.

The child's eyes landed on Aria as she rested down to the ground to recover her energy after being severely exhausted from the training.