The Simulacrum

Chapter 81

Normally this was the point where I'd say something along the lines of 'The silence in the room was palpable', except it wasn't. There wasn't even a long, meaningful beat after my declaration. Some were only whispering, like the knight mooks in the back, while others were letting out thoughtful hums, such as my self-described in-laws. And as for a certain oversized man with a distinct accent...

"Na pumpin' wey!"

"Brother Duncan, watch your language," Mr. Eagle whispered to his colleague, resulting in an indignant huff.

"Ye cannae expect me tae hawp this! This mist be some kind o' trick. Ah wis thare whin he wis tested, 'n' he wis fun unworthy by th' swoord."

"That was back then," I told him in a level voice. "Things have changed, and so have I."

"Na wey," the big guy glowered. "Thare ur na seicont chances wi' th' Sword o' th' King! Ye kin either pull it or ye cannae, 'n' ye coudnae."

"Yet here it is," I responded as I put my finger onto the pommel of Cal still sitting on the table. "That means what you consider common knowledge is simply wrong."

"{I'm not so sure about that, young knight. I believe the current situation was brought about entirely due to your ability to shatter common sense.}"

"Hush, you," I whispered, then cleared my throat and continued the previous thought. "Makes you think, doesn't it? If you were wrong about this, maybe you're wrong about other things as"

"Bollocks!" the big guy cut me off before I could finish the sentence and he put both his hands onto the table. "Ye cannae expect me tae hawp that ye'r th' King!"

"The facts are the facts," I responded a touch flippantly. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Ah... Ah will challenge ye tae an Arbitration!" he declared, but contrary to his words, there were no magical lights or unexpected stomach-cramps afoot, so he apparently didn't mean it.

"Duncan, stop," Penny cut in, seemingly embarrassed by the whole exchange.

"Dinnae huv a go tae haud me back, Penny-gurl! Ah will teach yer brother whit's whit!"

"No, you can't," the girl insisted, but the big oaf didn't get it and grinned fearlessly at her.

"Dinna fash yirsel, a wullnae hurt him awfy much."

"That wasn't what she meant," Roland interjected with a classic 'I can't even with these people' look on his face. "You literally can't do it, because you don't have your equipment. Furthermore, we've just had an Arbitration between Leonard and Penelope." He paused here, most likely for dramatic effect, and then dryly uttered, "She lost."

For some reason, that earned a longer beat of silence than my big declaration. Go figure.

"Hauld yer horses, haud oan! Penny-gurl, wur ye haudin' back oan him?"

She shook his head, and Roland added, for emphasis, "Leonard made sure she didn't. Penelope fought fiercer than I've ever seen her, and she still lost."

"Is that true, sister Penelope?" inquired the oldest Knight of the bunch, and when both Penny and Mr. Griffon nodded in unison, he gave me a meaningful glance, and said, "You must have trained diligently, my liege."

"Sir Arnwald!" Mr. Minotaur exclaimed in disapproval, but the older knight didn't take it to heart.

"I sincerely doubt that the two of them would lie about such an important matter, and as for Caledfwlch... I'm sure you have already felt his majesty's aura for yourself."

"I've experienced its effects firsthand," Roland noted, though I didn't know what he meant. Maybe he mistook my tweaking of his armor for something more esoteric? I certainly didn't feel more charismatic, but maybe it was another of those Oath things. Might be worth looking into later.

Anyhow, Mr. Eagle nodded along and stated, "As I would expect. It must have taken exceptional willpower and determination for Sister Penelope to stand up to him and face him in combat. As always, I'm in awe of your mental fortitude."

Said sister with the alleged mental fortitude was currently turning beet red and muttering to herself, but nobody seemed to care. The Draconian side of the table was getting a little restless though, so it was time to get back to the main topic.

"I gather we're now clear on my authority on this issue, so let's cut the chase: effectively immediately, I want all hostile operations targeting Draconians to cease."

"Whit?" Mr. Minotaur exclaimed with a face so ashen you'd think I just ordered him to eat a kitten.

Even Penny and Roland, who already heard the rough outlines of my plan, frowned in response, yet Mr. Eagle only gave me a curious glance before diplomatically stating, "My liege, while I agree that hostilities should be avoided due to the current..." He looked over to the other side of the table and carefully considered his words, ultimately settling on, "circumstances, but I believe"

"Hold that thought for now and hear me out," I interrupted him with a raised finger. "Let me be clear here: the way you, or we, currently operate is nonsensical."

"What exactly are you referring to?" Roland inquired.

"Pretty much everything," I answered while my fingers absently played with the sword on the table. "Sneaking around, causing massive collateral damage and panic, trying to assassinate innocent people because of their heritage, wearing armor in public. In other words, everything."

"Thay arenae innocent," the big guy objected with an indignant huff.

"Aren't they now?" I asked back as I broadly gestured towards the Dracis couple. "Then please tell me exactly what heinous crimes these people have committed. Oh, and fair warning: don't just say 'they are Draconians', like having some conditional superhuman powers make them any worse than you are when wearing your armor. Are we clear? Good. Now please go ahead and wow us with your reasoning."

Mr. Minotaur remained silent with a blank expression, which told me that screaming 'They're wyrmbloods!' in his weird accent was his one and only argument. After it was preemptively nullified, he was hit by a mental blue screen of death. Luckily for him, Mr. Eagle was there to pick up the pieces.

"They are involved in organized crime."

"Wrong," I declared with my hands crossed in front of me. "I've gone out of my way to look into the finances of the Dracis household. According to the ledgers, everything was accounted for and earned through legitimate businesses and investments. There's no sign of anything illegal."

"My boy. I don't remember ever granting you access to our business ledgers," Sebastian noted in the company of a critical look.

"It's because you didn't. I asked the princess to ask dad-in-law to let Judy take a look, and she double-checked everything for me."

"Oh, so that's what that was about," the Dracis patriarch whispered like he just had a small revelation, completely oblivious to the critical look his wife was giving him.

Meanwhile, the old butler shook his head and told me, "So it was miss Sennoma after all. Did she really read and verify our finances in a single afternoon?"

"That's what she said, and I have no reason to doubt her."

"Is that so?" Saying so, the old man let out a gratingly grandfatherly chuckle and told me, "I can't help but feel that she's wasted on you, my boy. Make sure you never take her for granted."

"I'm trying not to, but it's hard when she's so smart and convenient. And cute. And amusing. And occasionally stubborn, but in an endearing way. Anyhow, we're going off-topic. My point is that the Dracis family isn't involved in anything illegal, let alone organized crime."

"And we're supposed to just take this 'Sennoma's' word for it?" came the next question from Penny.

"Yes. Her word is, in many ways, more trustworthy than mine."

"Can you swear on that?"

"Um, sure, I can," I told her, and I was half-expecting some kind of magical oath to commence, but she just accepted my answer without any further questions. Since the rest didn't raise any either, I told them, "So, that's a swing and a miss. Do you have anything else?"

The four Knights shared an uncertain glance, and then Mr. Minotaur came forth with, "Thay uise thair gear tae manipulate folk."

"I've heard that one before, but can you actually give me a concrete example?"

There was another beat of silence, and this time it was Mr. Eagle who stated, "They use money to influence human society and exploit it."

"That... wasn't any more concrete at all." I let out a sigh and told them, "This isn't something unique to Draconians; people have been throwing around their wealth and influence since the dawn of humanity. You are aware that not every wealthy person on the planet has dragon blood in their veins, right?" The group remained silent, so I piled on. "If that's your criteria, what were your plans once the 'draconic menace' was eliminated? Start assassinating politicians and bankers?"

"No, we wouldn't," Roland emphatically stated. "They are human."

"A distinction without a difference. Draconian are people just like you and me."

"Ah'ament lik' a wyrmblood!" the big guy protested, but fell silent the instant I glared at him.

"Really? And how are you different from Abram over there? You're both men made of flesh and bone, both think and feel, both can love and hate, both of you can bench-press a car, and both of you can be taken down by a well-placed .50 caliber BMG round fired from an anti-materiel rifle from up to two kilometers away. From where I'm standing, you have more in common than you have differences."

"Wasn't that last example a little too specific?" Emese whispered to her husband, but I pretended I didn't hear it.

"I understand what you're trying to say," Penny spoke up with a difficult expression.

"I can sense a 'but' coming," I interjected.

"Bu I-I mean, if we don't keep the wyr um the 'draconians' in check, then who will stop them from enslaving humanity?"

That made me raise a brow and turn to the other side.

"Have you ever planned to enslave humanity?"

"I can't say I have," Abram answered like it was a philosophical question. The incognito dragon, on the other hand, let out a strained cough.

"I must admit that the idea had occurred to me a few hundred years ago, but I quickly realized it was considerably more trouble than it's worth," Sebastian admitted. "It was but a decade of youthful indiscretion, nothing more."

"You see, we have... erm... Half a precedent? Uncle, is it worth half?"

Hearing Penny's question, Mr. Griffon sneakily rolled his eyes and answered, "If you're unsure of your own point during negotiations, you're better off not bringing it up to begin with."

"Don't be too harsh on her. She actually made a half-decent point," I told them, and my alleged sister's face lit up at once.

"I have?"

"Yes. It wasn't perfect, but more than anything else Duncan over there said today."

"Whit?"

Ignoring his protest, I addressed the whole room once again.

"I'm under no delusion that every single Draconian is as innocently wholesome as the Dracis family over here, and I also understand that due to their connections and superhuman nature, it's unreasonable to expect human authorities to deal with the bad apples. However, indiscriminate vigilante justice and acts of borderline terrorism aren't the answer either."

"And you believe you have a better alternative," Mr. Eagle stated while stroking his massive sideburns.

"Of course I do. I wouldn't have brought up the topic in the first place otherwise," I told him with a smirk. "I plan to reform the Brotherhood from the ground up into an actual peacekeeping organization, with proper laws, procedure, and a shorter name. Or a snappy acronym. One or the other."

My explanation left a long beat of silence in its wake.

"So, if I understand you correctly, you want to turn the Knights into a kind of... police force?" Abram spoke up, and I gave him a nod.

"You hit the nail on the head, dad-in-law. We can't police the Draconian families with only threats of violence alone; that would be no different from what these guys are already doing, and it obviously doesn't work." Especially since they were indiscriminate, but I didn't want to repeat that. "What we need is a formalized system with due process and none of this 'guilty until proven innocent' nonsense. That is where you come into the picture.

We are going to use the Dracis family's influence to establish an impartial organization tasked with cracking down on any supernatural folks who are threatening the safety of the public, go against the law, or just can't behave themselves in general. Of course, I don't expect everyone to just go along with it, considering these guys have been out for your blood for centuries, but I hope that we can reach a compromise where everyone gets what they want. Namely, the Knights get to investigate and raid unsavory elements in an official capacity, without having to skulk around in the shadows, while you would be free of the threat of an attack on you and your loved ones for the rest of your lives."

"Just a moment, my liege," the Eagle Knight called out. "Are you saying we would be subordinated to the Dracis?"

"Not really. It would be more accurate to say you would be an independent police force accountable to the alliance I plan to build around the Dracis family, my own forces, and any other factions willing to join it."

"That sounds nice on paper, but aren't you forgetting something important?" Emese addressed me with her arms crossed. "By doing this, you would put us at the mercy of our mortal enemies. How are we supposed to trust them?"

"I'll be serving as your bridge," I answered and picked Cal up again. "As the current King of the Brotherhood, I'm going to make sure they won't overstep their authority, while at the same time I'll ensure that they remain independent and impartial without becoming just a group of enforcers. We can't erase the bad blood overnight, but so long as I'm around, I'll make sure that both sides will benefit from this arrangement and we can create a better, more peaceful tomorrow."

Sebastian stifled a chuckle on the side and muttered something along the lines of, 'Never would've penned you as an idealist'. I naturally disregarded him and swept my gaze around the table.

"So, just to summarize: the Dracis family will provide the authority and legitimacy needed to establish this new organization, the Brotherhood will provide the manpower and combat expertise, while the Kage clan and my information network will help to track down and gather evidence on the baddies. As for me, I'll mediate between the two sides. The question is, can we agree on the fundamentals of my proposal?"

This time the silence that followed after my question was more awkward than tense, and it would've probably lingered for quite a while if not for Papa Dracis exhaling a sigh.

"To tell you the truth, son, I've never in my strangest fever dreams imagined we would be having a conversation like this. I'm also not sure that I can readily trust the accursed Knights as far as I can throw them, yet it's tempting. It's very, very tempting."

"It's an unorthodox way to go about resolving a centuries-old feud, but if it could work, even temporarily, it would be an unprecedented time of peace for the family, and one that could elevate our name and household to new heights," Sebastian noted next. "I agree with the family head. It is an offer that sounds too good to be true."

"I would be normally against working with the accursed Knights on principle, but" came the third comment from Emese, and as uncertain as she sounded, it was still tacit agreement.

That meant I got the tentative approval of one side of the table, now it was time to see what I could get on the other side.

"Before anything else, let me see if I understood your plans," Roland halted the proceedings with a palm raised. "You want to integrate us into a new, as of yet unnamed law enforcement agency, and we would be still doing the same thing as before, but only focusing on dragonbloods who are breaking laws and hurting the innocent."

"You wouldn't exactly be doing 'the same thing', as you wouldn't be assassinating anyone, but as far as tracking people and raiding strongholds are concerned, you're mostly right. You'd just be doing it after going through due process and getting a search warrant issued by the parent organization."

"So that's how it is," he mused and turned to the knight with the amazing sideburns. "I believe that wouldn't conflict with any of our Oaths."

"I believe so as well, Brother Roland," Mr. Eagle solemnly agreed. "This would be a departure from the way our Brotherhood operated in living memory, but it wouldn't necessarily go against our tenets, especially if our liege will have the authority to prevent any abuse of power. The structure and purview of this new Brotherhood will naturally require further refinement, but as far as the basic concept is concerned, I don't think there are any irreconcilable obstacles ahead of it."

"I I'm not sure, but what brother said sounded reasonable, so I'm not against giving it a try?"

Roland gave a sideways glance at the girl that said, 'Of course you agree with him', leaving only the big guy for last.

"Whit am ah even suppose tae say 'ere? Tis nae lik' we hae a choice. Ye'r th' king or whit, 'n' even if ah disagree, you'd juist force this thro' anyway."

"Oh, no. You have a choice. You can say no, in which case you would be permanently stripped of your gear and thrown into detention for your crimes."

"Whit crimes? Whit th' heel ur ye talkin' abit!?"

"Conspiracy, vandalism, multiple cases of attempted assassinations, and the list goes on," I frankly told him. "And those are just the obvious ones. Unlike these people here, who are all law-abiding citizens, you have quite the criminal record, and any jury would lock you up in a heartbeat."

"My boy, the judicial system of Timaeus has no jury system."

"My point still stands," I told Sebastian before addressing Mr. Minotaur again. "That of course applies to all of you, but if you cooperate, you would naturally receive general amnesty, and the mundane authorities would be none the wiser about your activities."

"Then thir's na choice efter a'!"

"Duncan" Penny called out to the big oaf, and after exchanging a few wordless glances, he let out a loud 'Bah!' and theatrically crossed his arms.

Since he didn't protest anymore, I assumed he finally relented, so I took a huge breath and addressed everyone present.

"This went smoother than I expected. Now, before we discuss anything else, let's ask the obvious questions: who else can we bring into the fold, and who's going to oppose this tooth and nail."

"We have close business ties with the Lohikrme and Lotan families, so if we properly explained things to them, they'll certainly agree," Abram suggested with a thoughtful frown. "The Albions owe us a favor, so they should be easy to convince, but the Smoks and the Peludas are going to be harder to crack."

"There surviving branch families of the Srknys are under the Zomok family. If we can convince them, we can use them to convince the Smoks," Emese proposed in turn.

I had very little knowledge about all of these Draconian clans, so I decided to leave it up to my in-laws and turned to the Knights.

"Brother Percival would most likely join you if you called upon him, my liege," Mr. Eagle told me at once. "However, I'm afraid I can't promise the same when it comes to the other Entitled Knights."

"Well, we might as well use this opportunity to move on to the second half of my question: what are the biggest obstacles in the way of this plan?"

"Forby it bein' ba'shit a bampot?"

I gave the defiant big guy a withering glare, but he held my gaze without looking away. Since he refused to get a clue, I proceeded to raise Cal and point it directly at his face, startling everyone around the table.

"Listen up, Duncan, because I'm only going to tell you once. I'm a patient man. You can disagree with me. You can even be a dick about it. I don't care. However, this is the best and potentially last opportunity to peacefully end this moronic feud and make my girlfriend's life both safer and happier. In other words, I don't care if you're throwing a hissy fit, because this train? It's leaving the station, whether you like it or not. Now, you either get on it, like the rest of us, and start contributing to its smooth operation, or get off the bloody rails. Did I make myself clear, or do I have to use simpler words for you?"

The two of us continued to stare daggers at each other, but it didn't take long for Mr. Minotaur to waver, and before long, he averted his gaze with a groan and the words, "Th' mages."

"The what now?"

"Th' mages!" he raised his voice as he faced me again. "Th' Assembly insae aff tae allow anither powa tae rise oan th' island. Th' Arch-mage is aff tae shift tae halt ye."

"Oh, you meant that. You see, was it that hard?" After saying so, I let the glowing sword down (I didn't even notice when Cal started doing it) and told him, "Don't worry. Endymonion won't dare to move a finger against me."

"You sound confident," Penny noted, and I flashed a toothy grin.

"It's because I am. After what happened the last time he messed with me, he'll think twice before he'd get on my bad side again."

"What exactly happened between you two?" came the next inquiry, this time from Roland.

"Maybe I'll tell you another time. Now, let's focus on the main agenda: obstacles. What else do we have?"

"Brother Agravain and Sister Morgana," the man with the sideburns stated as dryly as a wind-swept street in a spaghetti western.

"I don't believe either of them would listen to you," came the next observation from Penny, and Roland nodded along.

"They are both old and stubborn," he bluntly stated. "They also have many old grudges, so rational arguments are unlikely to work on them. Even with your newfound authority, you might have a hard time convincing them to stand down."

"On our end, the biggest issue is the Feilong clan," Emese told me.

"That's right," Abram agreed with a series of nods. "They rose to be the leaders of the Eastern Bloodlines by protecting the weaker families. Dismantling the accursed Knights in the way you proposed would undermine their position."

"Feilong? That sounds familiar. Isn't that the surname of Elly's unwanted suitor?"

"You're correct," said Sebastian this time. "They've been using the pretense of forming a united front against our common enemies for years to push for an engagement. They will undoubtedly continue to do so during the upcoming conference as well."

"Oh, right. That's a thing that's coming up in a few weeks," I mused as I lightly tapped the flat of Cal's blade against my shoulder. "But if we look at it from another perspective, since they are coming to the island, wouldn't it be the perfect opportunity to convince them?"

"Maybe," Abram whispered, though he didn't sound confident at all.

"In the worst-case scenario, you can leave it to me. I'll think of something." I only jested, but the way everyone was l suddenly looking at me with full confidence made me feel uncomfortable, so I hastily cleared my throat and said, "So, are those all the big obstacles? That's fewer than I expected. Still, it's a lot to consider at once, so how about we end this meeting here, and iron out the particulars at a later date?"

"My boy, you can't end the discussion here," Sebastian warned me, and I couldn't help but blink at him.

"I can't?"

"No, you can't," he stressed. "You are planning to form an organization that might one day rival the Assembly of the Wingless Ones. You can't leave setting its foundation unfinished like this."

"I'm not planning to make it that big though"

"Unless I misunderstood you, you are intending to unite the Draconian bloodlines under a single leadership, with the knights serving as internal law enforcement. That would make your proposed organization a worldwide alliance of some of the most influential people in the world of Mystics."

"He's right," Abram added. "When you're making a big deal like this, you cannot just explain the broad strokes and hope everything works out! You need to lay down the rules, discuss the details and, most importantly, negotiate the contracts!"

"If it's not written down, it's not worth anything," Emese piled on, and even Roland and Arnwald nodded along.

And with that, before I could get a word in, my business-minded in-laws began a long a complicated business discussion with the two reasonable knights, leaving me almost entirely sidelined.

They weren't wrong though. What I proposed would take two supernatural factions that were keeping each other in check, and mash them together into a single new organization, effectively creating a new power bloc. My main goal was just to allow Elly to fulfill her dream while also bolstering the Dracis family, but as things stood at the moment, I might've just bit off more than I could chew.

This was totally going to bite me in the ass later, won't it?

But then again, there was no sense crying over spilled milk, so let's worry about something more directly applicable. Like how I'd avoid getting pestered by Judy if the negotiations get dragged out and I can't get home by ten. Sure, it was a small thing in comparison, but I cared more about the certain short-term drama over the uncertain long-term doom. I was weird like that.

"Kihihi! Marvelous! Absolutely marvelous!"

"Master, you're drooling again."

It said something about how excited Fred was that he didn't even bother to snap at the android standing next to him in her pajamas. I'd like to say I couldn't blame him, but even I had to admit that the obsessed look he was giving to the pile of armors laid out on the table in front of him was a little creepy.

"You can inspect these, but make sure you don't break anything," I warned him, just to be sure.

"Kihihi! Don't worry boss, I'll be gentle."

"Initializing disgust protocols." Saying so, Galatea took two steps back, and even added a scorching "Ew." She still didn't get any reaction out of our resident mad scientist, so she turned to me with just a hint of a pout. "Grandmaster?"

"Yes," I responded, against my better judgment. At this rate, another title was going to stick to me.

"How long can we keep these?"

"Two weeks at most, unless their owners do something stupid. If they cooperate, we'll have to give these back before the Draconian conference, so make sure he doesn't take them apart."

"Understood. I request authorization for non-lethal take-down methods for restricting master's movements if necessary."

"Keep it in moderation."

"Instructions noted. I will now resume my charging activities."

Saying so, she turned on her heel and walked back into the bedroom area. By the way, apparently she was sleeping before I came back to the base with the Knights' equipment. The more I knew of her, the more I had to wonder if she really was an android or just a really dedicated role-player. Though again, the arm-cannons spoke otherwise.

"Kihihi! Look, boss! These helmets have two different array sockets! This one even connects directly to this bow!" Fred exclaimed while waving a beaked helm and a large recurve bow entirely made out of metal. "Do you know what this means?"

" Crosshairs?"

"I knew you'd get it!" The disheveled man grinned at me and let out a hearty chuckle. "I've been looking for a way to implement a targeting reticle for the Gigant Mark III! This is an amazing find!"

"Gigant Mark III?" I repeated after him with a frown. "I thought I was clear on the explicit ban on oversized robots."

"Ah, don't worry boss, it's nothing like that! It's just a side-project, no, a hobby I work on in my free time! It's in a different league from the old Biomechanical Gigants. Much more aesthetically pleasing, I swear."

Fred looked a little too frantic for my liking, but I wasn't in the mood to get bogged down with this, so I told him, "I'll be the judge of that. I'm going to give it a look on the weekend."

"Erm Okay. I'll make sure the prototype is in presentable condition. It's not blocky at all."

That was another suspiciously specific denial, but I was getting tired of this, so I decided to drop the topic.

"I'll go check on the Fauns and our new recruits. Keep up the good work, and remember: no disassembly in the name of science."

"Got it, boss, but before you go" I was just about to walk out, but turned on my heel to face him again. "You mentioned recruits, and that reminded me of something."

"I'm listening."

"You know, I'm used to working alone, but with so many things piling up, I was wondering if you could maybe hire some help in the workshop?"

"Depends. What do you have in mind?"

"Kihihi! You see, boss, I'd written a couple of letters and had uncle send them out to some of my alumni." That made me raise a brow. I already knew he was sending letters to Peabody using Rinne as the messenger, but I didn't think he was making contact with his Research Society buddies. He might've misunderstood my reaction, as he raised his hands in defense. "Don't worry, I didn't write anything specific. I just mentioned that there might be an opportunity here. You know, we kind of started out with the wrong foot, but we have a really sweet deal here. A secure environment, good food, no Assembly meddling, nearly unlimited funding, and so many amazing things to research! A year ago, I would've given a hand for a work environment like this, and I know a few people who would be jumping at the opportunity to work here."

"How many are we talking about?"

"I I don't really know, to be honest. I sent messages to a dozen people I know, and they would probably bring their own research and assistants so about thirty people?"

For a moment I was assaulted by the mental image of three dozen Freds cackling over a bunch of enchanted armors with bloodshot eyes, but I quickly shook it out of my head and told him, "So many people at once might be a bit too much, but I'm not against the idea. Let's discuss the details later."

"Kihihi! Got it, boss."

I waited for a second to see if he had anything else to say, but my resident mad scientist returned to playing with the gear in front of him, so I left the workshop and returned to the main hall. In there, I found a gaggle of Fauns dressed in black, all huddled together near the armory area, so I made my way over there.

"Ah. Blackcloak," Brang greeted me when I got closer, together with a customary salute, and the other Fauns also followed suit.

He was most likely refraining from using Faunish for the benefit of the people standing within their circle. One of them required no introduction, and when she noticed me, Mountain Girl turned to me and gave me a bow. The four women standing around her seemed a little perplexed at first, but quickly followed her example.

"Welcome back, Leonard-dono."

"I see everyone's gathered here," I noted, and she gave me an energetic nod. In the meantime, I looked over the newcomers, and they all stood at attention at once.

How should I put this? They looked kind of silly. It wasn't their fault though; they simply embodied the stereotypical female ninja look to a tee, and it was preposterously impractical in the flesh. The four of them all had similar, excessively curvy physiques, and the loose Japanese robes they were wearing barely reached below their butts while also leaving their cleavages in full view. They also wore cloth masks that covered everything under their eyes, headbands, and arm guards, but nothing else in terms of defensive gear. Oh, and fishnets. Both on their arms, their legs, and even more bafflingly, on their exposed chests. At least they weren't colour coded, as their outfits were all the same dark purple as Rinne's pantsuit.

Speaking of our resident huntress, I turned to her and gestured towards the small group. It took her a while to understand what I wanted, but then her eyes lit up and she took a step to the side. As if they rehearsed it ahead of time, the four took their masks off and fell to one knee. Now that I could take a better look at them, they were a little younger than I originally thought, all four of them were generic placeholder-pretty and, curiously, only one of them was Asian. So was the Kage clan a multicultural Japanese monster-hunting ninja organization?

"We greet the clan head," the four of them exclaimed at once, and I only just realized that Rinne misunderstood my gesture, so I had no choice but to voice my intent.

"I was told you only arrived a few days ago. Welcome to the island. Now, Rinne, would you care to properly introduce them?"

"At once!" Declaring so, Mountain Girl waved in their direction. "I present you the Danzo squad of the Kage clan."

That really didn't tell me much, but before I could ask for clarification, the four took out their single-edged daggers in unison and placed them on the ground in front of them.

"We pledge our loyalty to the clan head!"

Suddenly everyone's eyes were glued to me, and I had a feeling I was supposed to say something here, so I quickly searched my dusty mental cabinets for something suitable.

"Erm Thank you, and thank you for your hard work during today's operation." My response was apparently acceptable, as their faces lit up at once. In fact, I could practically see the sparkles in their eyes, so I quickly moved the conversation along before I'd stumble into some kind of shenanigans. "Rinne?"

"Yes, Leonard-dono?"

"Are they all the forces of the Kage clan on the island?"

"No, of course not," she stated like I just asked something silly. "They are the combat squad. Together with the reconnaissance and support squads, there are over twenty of your subordinates in the city."

"Twenty," I repeated after her, and let out a sigh. "One of these days, we might have to expand the secret base." I've got a few odd looks for that comment, so I waved my hand and added, "Never mind. I see that you're in the middle of introductions. Continue as you were."

The four ninja girls took my stray comment as a command and rose to their feet at once. However, instead of introducing themselves to me, they proceeded to walk up to the Fauns and talk to them. I wanted to mingle a little to at least learn their names, but my efforts were quickly thwarted by Mountain Girl and Brang intercepting me.

"I report the situation," the old Faun said with a satisfied smile. "Battle, success. No casualties. Hrul cut, not deep. Needs more training."

"On our side, we have also completed the mission assigned to us. We collected all the documents and equipment before the local lord's men arrived at the scene, and placed them in the warehouse, as instructed."

"Good job, both of you," I said with a slight smile. "I'm especially happy that you managed to do it without any serious injuries on either side."

"Naturally. Battle was simple. One-sided." the Faun general noted, and Rinne nodded along.

"I agree. We greatly outnumbered our opponents, and with the help of Leonard-san's father and the girl with the many hands, they stood no chance. It was too easy."

"Never complain about that. Our preparations were simply more than adequate, that's all." She still looked a little unsatisfied, so I decided to send her on an errand to clear her mind. "Did you find a girl's school uniform among the items you recovered?"

"Yes, yes we did. Do you require it?"

"Please bring it here. I need to return it to its owner, or she won't be able to attend school."

"At your command!"

Brang and I watched as the suddenly re-energized woman dashed past the group, and she soon disappeared behind one of the doors leading out of the main hall.

"[Thine retainer remains peculiar as ever,]" he noted.

"[So it appears I'm not the sole person who shares such sentiments.]"

The old Faun let out a soft chuckle and looked over the four ninjas desperately trying to make small talks with the Fauns in the background.

"[Thine following swells by the day, Blackcloak. Imagining my old liege's expression upon discovering how thine actions have shaped the face of the island in his absence fills me with a sense of expectation.]"

"[Bridle back all such contemplations, general, for the unworthy one whose name is a dusky bird of carrion shall remain in the bowels of the Abyss for a period of immense length. I have personally seen to that effect.]" Brang looked really curious about what I meant by that, so I told him, "[By my hand I inscribed a crimson note of challenge upon the chamber housing his nexus of power. He shall remain eminently engaged for the span within the glint of the oracle's eyes.]"

He gave me a skeptical glance, but before he could raise another question, Rinne came back. She ran up to me and immediately presented me with a pile of neatly folded clothes.

"I have fulfilled the mission."

"It wasn't exactly a mission, but thanks." I took the school uniform from her, consciously avoiding looking at the panda-print panties on top of the pile for any longer than strictly necessary, and said, "I think I've been away long enough to uphold my cover. I'll deliver these, but I don't think I'm going to come back here tonight. Please arrange accommodations for those four."

"As you command," Brang answered with a salute, and for some reason, Rinne tried to imitate him. That was odd, but not enough to question it, so I bid my farewells and walked over to the room with the teleport closet.

It fell out of use as of late, as I only needed to use this part of the base when I was Phasing the gang back and forth for training sessions. I still tried to keep appearances up with them, but since both Rinne, the Fauns, and the science duo were aware of my teleporting ability already, I usually just Phased in and out of the place when I was alone. This time we had newbies around, so I figured I'd be a bit more discreet, and teleport away from a place out of sight.

Speaking of newcomers, if I had a feeling that if this keeps up, I'll really have to expand the base. I didn't even know if it could be done, but I'd bet if I asked Fred, he'd have about seven different solutions for the problem.

I'll have to make space for the Kage clan, the potential new recruits from the Research Society would also require places to live, feeding this many people would require the cafeteria to be refurbished, if things work out we would potentially need some kind of headquarters for the Knights, and

Wait. Hold on for a moment. A secret base, with scary minions, mad scientists, killer robots, and now even actual, honest-to-goodness ninjas.

If this keeps going on, this place is going to turn into a villain lair from an old campy spy movie! And then what would that make me? The last thing I'd need right now is secret agents with numerical code names snooping around the place. But then again, maybe I was overthinking this. It's not like I wanted to take over the world. I'd also make a lousy villain.

I mean, I'm just a rich guy with connections to the highest echelons of the local society with a secret underground lair housing a group of loyal minions, and brewing secret plans to upset the balance of power between globe-spanning organizations for my own benefit.

...

"Goddamit," I whispered as I prepared to Phase away. "At this rate, I'll really have to invest in some metal tables where secret agents could be strapped to. And lasers. And a shark tanks. Also with lasers."

And with that not at all depressing thought, I soundlessly disappeared from the room.

"We have a toilet!"

Penny's excited words raised a couple of intrigued brows in the spacious guest room of the Dracis mansion.

"I expected as much," Roland noted while absently airing the bedding of one of the two beds. By now, both of them were out of their armours and wearing the same style of tracksuit as their colleagues. "This really does feel like a four-star hotel, doesn't it?"

"It does!" the Knight girl exclaimed and made her way over to him. "The bathroom even has these tiny soap bars and packets of shampoo."

"Is this how staying in a four-star hotel might feel like?" Mr. Eagle spoke from the comfortable folds of a large massage chair in the corner. "I can't say I've ever had the fortune to experience this kind of hospitality before, but I believe I could get used to it."

They weren't exaggerating. While the place was slightly less lavish than the family's living area, it was still impressive, and the room was equipped with everything, from a wide-screen TV to their own little kitchen and bathroom. In a way, it was closer to one of those micro-apartments than a traditional guest room, but they certainly couldn't complain.

"Stoap playing around! Penny-gurl? Hae ye checked th' room fur bugs? "

Hearing the big guy's question made my alleged sister stop fluffing the pillows and glance at the corners.

"I can't do much without my helmet, but I don't think anyone's watching us."

"Guid enaw. Noo stoap messing wi' th' kips 'n' come 'ere. We hae tae figure oot howfur tae ascape. "

"Escape?" the man with the epic sideburns asked with a raised brow, though he didn't actually get out of the massage chair. "What do you mean?"

"Whit dae ye mean wha dae ah mean? We need tae break oot o' 'ere 'n' regroup. Howfur aboot this? Foremaist ah create a stramash 'n' draw thair attention. Penny-gurl, ye'll uise th' opportunity tae escape thro' th' windae, 'n' th' rest o' us will"

"No, Brother Duncan, you misunderstood," Mr. Eagle cut in and finally sat up properly. "I asked what you mean by escaping. How could we escape captivity when we aren't held captive?"

"Dinnae tell me ye actually ate th' drivel Leonard wis feeding us! Ur oot o` yer minds? We mist git awa' fae 'ere while th' wyrmbloods hae thair guard doon!"

"Our liege told us to stay here," the Eagle Knight pointed out as he finally got out of the chair. "Going against his will would break our Oath."

"Bollocks! Ah dinnae accept his claim, 'n' a wullnae lay oor bides intae th' hauns o' th' wyrmbloods!"

"Duncan, you're acting irrational," Roland said, and received a thunderous glare in return.

"A'm acting irrational? Keek at ye! We wur captured, pult aff o' oor gear, 'n' locked up in this room, 'n' ye act lik' ye'r guests!"

"The door isn't locked," Penny pointed out, and when the big guy looked at her, she quickly clarified, "I checked. There was only a maid in the hallway, and I asked her about the restroom."

"Whit? Then how come urr ye aye 'ere !?"

" Because I we have a toiled over there? Didn't I mention that already?"

"Na, ah mean" It was around this point that Mr. Minotaur finally calmed down and looked over his comrades one at a time. "Na fockin' wey. Dae ye fowk actually hawp a' that mince? Urr ye aff yer heids!?" The room remained silent, so he continued with, "We've gart an oath! Tae dedicate uir li'es tae th' cause! Tae flin' th' wyrmbloods' yoke aff th' neck o' homanity, nae tae tak' it up an' wear it! Ah didne spend years in trainin' jist tae become their dug!"

"Leo's proposal didn't sound that bad," Penny spoke up, only for the big guy to snap at her.

"O' coorse ye say that, Penny-gurl! Ye'r taking his side fur he's yer brother, bit whit's yer excuse? "

The question was obviously aimed at the men in the room, and the Eagle Knight readily answered, "I'm following the lead of our liege, Brother Duncan. It's as simple as that." He might have thought that self-explanatory, but when Mr. Minotaur kept glaring at him, he exhaled a soft breath and told him, "Brother, I'm sure you must've also seen the writing on the wall. Our brotherhood has been on the verge of falling apart ever since the loss of the Hong Kong chapterhouse. We are in dire need of strong leadership and a unified vision. Now that we have our liege once again, and he possesses both of these qualities, it's our duty to follow him."

"I more or less agree with the sentiment," Roland commented with a frown, "but I'd also like to add that we don't have anything to lose. We're already stripped of our equipment, so if they wanted us dead, we wouldn't be talking like this. Since their proposal sounded sincere, we might as well hear them out."

"That's right," Penny vehemently agreed. "And it's not like there's anything wrong with Leo's plan. Wouldn't it just mean we could hunt the really bad guys even more effectively?"

"Aye, sure, or th' enemies o' this wyrmblood fowk," he shot back. "Dae ye pure waant me tae hawp thay wilnae juist uise us as pauwns? "

"Leo wouldn't let that happen," she argued, but the big guy straight up scoffed at her.

"Lik' hell he wouldn't! He's dating yin o' thaim, fur fock's sake! How come aren't ye talking aboot that? "

"I-I'm not happy about it either, but I can't really object. I lost the Arbitration."

"That doesn't mak' it richt!"

"But what makes it wrong then?" Roland threw in a question that sounded rhetorical, yet the oldest Knight apparently didn't get the memo.

"If our liege is to be believed, and the Dracis are truly free of the lawless avarice of their kin, then I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with the two of them being lovers."

"And even if we don't accept Leonard's words at face value, this is an opportunity all the same," Roland addressed the linguistically challenged man in the middle. "You presume that the Dracis might try to influence us to do their bidding, but wouldn't we just as easily influence them to stay on the straight and narrow path? Even if Leonard is wrong and they do use their wealth and power immorally, we might be able to correct that from the inside, and if they really as sinless as he claims, then it makes all the more sense to work with them to restrain their less agreeable cousins. It's something that's never been tried before, and I believe it has potential."

"A got somehin fur disaster," Mr. Minotaur scoffed, but it was telling that he couldn't muster a better argument than that.

"Maybe, but I'd rather take our liege's lead into the unbeaten path than to watch our Brotherhood fade into nothingness in a few more generations and leave the wyrmbloods victorious by virtue of being the last one standing."

"Then urr ye telling me that workin' wi' thae wyrmbloods is th' richt thing tae dae? Kin ye pure say that? Fur if ye kin, then tell me whit does it mak' whit we've bin daein' 'til noo? "

Oof. That was an armor-piercing question I really didn't expect from this guy of all people, and it made the others freeze up for a moment before Penny venture an unsure, "It's the best thing to do right now?"

"Sae ye'r saying that we've bin wrong 'til noo?"

"I don't think that's what she means," Roland spoke up and moved a little, as if to shelter the girl from the big guy's glare. "Out of our currently available options, following Leonard's plan is certainly the most optimal one. However, we only have it as an option because Leonard opened it up for us. Without him being the King and also having an ironclad connection to the Dracises, negotiations would be completely impossible, and thus you wouldn't even be able to ask your previous question." Mr. Minotaur still wasn't entirely convinced, so he concluded with a firm, "In other words, our doctrine and actions weren't wrong, merely the best available options at the time. Now that we have something better, we must be adaptable and mustn't let the opportunity slip."

"Ah see whit ye'r trying tae say, bit" The oversized Knight paused here to sneak a glance at the girl halfway hidden out of his sight, and seeing her nod, he practically deflated with a nod. "Ah pure dinnae lik' this, 'n' ah aye think tis a trick, but fur th' time bein', ah will speil alang 'n' see whither this is an opportunity or a mistake fur masell."

"Duncan"

"Dinnae tak' me wrong, Penny-gurl. If hings caw sour, ah will be goin awa even if ah hae tae drag ye wi' me by force ."

"Do you mean all of us or only Sister Penelope?" the sideburn Knight asked one hundred percent seriously, but he only got an irritated 'Bah!' in return.

Anyhow, their discussion was more or less over by the looks of it, so I decided to stop eavesdropping on them from nearby. I came back to the mansion a while ago, but I couldn't just Phase into their room, for obvious reasons. On top of that, I figured that coming back five minutes after telling them I'd take their equipment to a professional would raise some eyebrows, so I purposefully wasted some time, just to be safe.

However, I was way past my promised time of return, and at this rate Judy would really go Spanish Inquisition on me. In the worst case, I might have to suffer the comfy chair, but hopefully she'll be satisfied with just the pointy cushions. Jokes aside, time won't wait for anyone, so I picked up my bags and walked around the corner leading to the guest rooms. There was only a single placeholder maid there, and after giving her a small nod, I opened the door without any reservations and walked inside, much to the four Knights' surprise.

"Evening. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Leo!" Penny greeted me with unexpected enthusiasm and came to my side.

As for the rest, Mr. Minotaur was sulking near the kitchen area, Roland just finished setting the beds, while Mr. Eagle was already back in the massage chair. He really liked that, huh? I never tried one of those, but maybe they were really nice? Anyhow, I put the idea aside for now and turned to the girl in front of me.

"Hi, kiddo. It's good you came over, because this one is yours." Saying so, I handed her a paper bag, but she was unexpectedly confounded by the contents. "It's your school uniform."

"Haud oan! Penny-gurl is aye aff tae gang tae schuil?"

"A better question: can she attend school?" Roland cut in with a more reasonable inquiry. "Can we leave the building?"

"For now it's only her, because mid-terms are starting soon. The moment I manage to establish some cover identities for you, you'll be free to come and go as you wish." I paused here, and then inquired, "For the record, none of you happen to have a teaching license just lying around, right?"

"I can't say I do, my liege," Mr. Eagle noted on the side, and Roland also shook his head.

"Just checking, because I already have a weird precedent. Oh well, we'll figure something out. If push comes to shove, I think I could probably get Dunky a janitor post at school."

"Wha urr ye cawin a donkey!? 'n' whit? Janitor?"

"Calm down, Dunky. It's just a nickname to show that we're really close, and I'm by no way in any shape or form implying that you're an ass. As for the job, it's just for appearances, so don't get your panties in a twist." The big guy continued to grumble, but my attention was drawn away from him by Penny tugging on my coat. "What is it, kiddo?"

"Do I really have to go to school?"

"Of course you do."

"But why?"

"Because you enrolled, and I won't take a dropout for a sister," I told her frankly, and hurriedly continued before she could get a word in. "Also, I couldn't get you one at this hour, but tomorrow, I'm buying you a phone."

"Dinnae tak' it. He's likelie aff tae uise it tae track ye, sae that ye cannae gied the pitch."

I sent the nosy guy a sideways glance and said, "No, Dunky, it's to keep in touch. Also, I'm getting phones for all of you for the same reason, and no, before you ask, it's still not for tracking. I don't need phones to keep an eye on you. I have ninjas."

Of course, I didn't need those either, but it was technically true, and if he mistakenly connected the two sentences, it was his fault. More importantly though, I found someone tugging at my sleeve again, so I turned back to Penny, and her eyes were all but gleaming with excitement.

"A phone? One of the new ones? With a touch screen? Can Can I get a Pearfone IX? Ah, wait, I shouldn't ask for something so expensive, so maybe a Pearfone VII Pro? No, I'm okay with the base model too, but the pro has a better camera and"

"Calm down, kiddo. We'll get you a pearl phone nine or whatnot if that's what you want. The price doesn't really matter either. I have a lot of money."

"You do?" Roland asked a little incredulously, and I nodded with a similar expression.

"Mist be crakin' mooching aff th' wyrmbloods lik' that," Dunky grumbled, but I quickly denied his charge.

"No, it's the money you guys kept sending me. Well, that, and the dividends I got from investing into our new music streaming services."

"Your what?" Arnwald blurted out, and I resigned myself to explain it.

"I gave Abram this idea to make a music streaming service to prop up his record label. Since it was my brainchild and I invested about two million into the project, I got a bunch of shares in the new company and he's been paying me dividends. It's called Ouroboros Music. You might've heard of it."

"Wait, you own Ouroboros?" Penny exclaimed with a mixture of surprise and awe, and when I nodded, she grabbed hold of my hand and demanded, "Brother, can you set me up for a premium account? Please? Pretty please?"

"I have a more important question," Roland cut in before the girl could pester me any longer. "You invested two million? In Jen?"

"Yes."

"Where did you get that kind of money?"

"I just told you: from you. I mean, the Brotherhood." Seeing his expression cloud over, I soon added, "Or so I've thought, but apparently not."

"Unless Sir Percival was sending you money, I doubt it came from us."

"Could he send me eighty grand a month?"

"Definitely not."

"Huh. Then where the hell did I get all that money?"

"Howfur shuid we ken?"

"That was a rhetorical question, Dunky," I told the ornery Knight, and he huffed and puffed so much you'd think he was the Big Bad Wolf Knight.

That said, I kind of took for granted that my extravagant allowance was coming from the Brotherhood, but if not, then it was something I have to look into again. Eighty thousand Jens don't just magically materialize into someone's account every month for no reason, and if it wasn't these guys responsible, then there had to be some kind of reason behind it. Seriously, what the heck was going on with my background? Let's just hope it's not some narratively contrived crap and it turns out I was also a Celestial triple-agent or something, because that really wouldn't be funny.

"Brother? What about my premium account?"

"Let's talk about that after you got your phone," I told my insistent sister, and wait, did I just casually accept her as my sister? Once I got home, I really needed to charge up on Snowium to get rid of these weird notions. More importantly, it was time to reveal the contents of the other, much bigger bag I had. "By the way, I noticed that there were only two beds in the guest room, so I picked this up on my way here."

"What's that?" Penny inquired while trying to peer into the bag, but since I had no reason to hide it from her, I handed it over.

"It's an inflatable mattress and some bedding. This way you can sleep on one bed, Arnwald can sleep on the other, and Roland can have this."

"What about Duncan?" she asked while unpacking, so I gestured towards the space between the beds.

"There's a perfectly good floor over there." The big guy glared at me with the intensity of a thousand incandescent stage lights, so after meeting his gaze for a few seconds of principle, I let out a snicker and told him, "I'm kidding. There are two mattresses."

"Brother, don't tease him," Penny tried to scold me, but it didn't really work when her face was beet red from trying to inflate one of the beds by lung.

"I reject any such accusations. Also, there's a leg pump at the bottom of the bag, use that." I turned to the men next and said, "Just bear with these for a while. The mansion is big, but there are only so many beds, and the squires had to be lodged as well. I'll try to work something out by the weekend."

"I believe I speak for all of us when I say that the accommodations are already far more than adequate, my liege."

"We certainly had worse," Roland added.

"Much worse. With cockroaches and everything," came the next absentminded comment from Penny while she tried to fit the pump's tube onto the mattress. Since she didn't make much progress, Mr. Griffon graciously came to her rescue.

In the meantime, the oldest knight came over to me and quietly inquired, "My liege there's one thing I didn't get the chance to ask before. May I?"

"Sure," I gave him the go, and he leaned even closer to whisper to me.

"The masked men who participated in our initial capture. Were they Fauns of the Abyss?"

" What makes you think that?"

"I had a brief encounter with a Faun more than a decade ago," he told me secretively. "I recognized his spear from back then."

"Is that so?" He was looking at me expectantly, and after weighing my options, I frankly told him. "Yes. I'm sure you've already heard that I'd adopted an Abyssal girl." He nodded at once. "She's the sister of the current head of the Inanna house, and the Fauns defected with her."

"You adopted a Lord of the Abyss?"

"She's not that though I suppose if her prick of a brother died, she would be second in line."

Unless Brang and co. kept insisting on me being her regent and somehow landing me the position, but Mr. Eagle here really didn't need to know that. Not to mention, I didn't want to jinx it. I've already had too many organizations fall into my hands out of the blue, the last thing I needed was having to accommodate an entire Abyssal noble house.

"My liege"

"Could you please stop calling me that? It's embarrassing. Leonard will do."

"In that case Brother Leonard, just what exactly happened to you since the last time we met?"

"A lot, but this isn't the right time or place to explain it all." The older Knight looked a touch dissatisfied with my answer, but let the topic drop all the same. "Speaking of time, it's getting really late, and if I don't get home soon, my girlfriends will be worried."

"I've meant to ask this, by why are you saying 'girlfriends' in plural?" Roland inquired from the left field, and even the sulky Mr. Minotaur glanced my way when he heard the question, but I had to disappoint them.

"Sorry, but that's another really long story. Maybe I'll tell you another day." With that, I turned around and grabbed the doorknob. "I'll come by again after school. Till then, behave yourselves, be polite with the staff, and make sure Dunky doesn't do anything stupid."

"Stop calling me a donkey!"

I flashed a toothy smirk at the seething guy and said, "Bye, and see you tomorrow afternoon. Except for you, kiddo. I'll be picking you up in the morning."

"O-Okay. Bye, Leo."

Penny gave me a small wave, which was fairly cute, and after I returned the gesture, I closed the door behind me and let out a small sigh before I headed towards the secluded corridor again. Poor Brang. It was his idea to disguise themselves during the attack, and yet it was his own spear that revealed their identity. Talk about being hoisted by one's own petard.

On a more serious note, while the Knightly Quartet was troublesome, especially Mr. Minotaur, by the looks of it they would listen to reason and cooperate with my Dragon Knight Initiative (better name pending). Now I only had to figure out how to bring the other Knights into the fold, how to deal with those Chinese Draconians, and whatever trials, tribulations, and tropes they bring to the table, and now I even had to try and track the source of my allowance again. Things were about to get busy soon, but for the short term, today's events should buy me at least a few weeks of relative peace and quiet to focus on preparing for the next tidal wave of what-is-this-I-don't-even.

However, before all of that, I had to first go home and explain to Judy and Elly why I was so late. Then, after we had an argument, we'll have to make up and then cuddle a lot. Such was my lot in life, I supposed, and then promptly Phased away.

My room was, unexpectedly, quite lively when I arrived home. The lights were still on despite how late it was, and both Judy and Elly were in front of the PC. They were watching funny animal videos by the looks of it, the universal language of wasting time. Go figure.

"Hi girls, I'm back."

My girlfriends glanced away from the screen in unison and Judy sprung to her feet not a moment later.

"Welcome home, Chief. Do you know what time it is?"

"I little past eleven, I think?"

"It's eleven-thirty-seven, to be precise," she stated, and the moment she got into arm's reach, she began patting me down, starting from my head.

"Dormouse? What exactly are you doing?"

"Just checking if you still have all of your bits attached at their proper places."

In the meantime, the princess also came closer and scrutinized my face.

"You look much better than the first time you came home. How do you feel?"

"Same as before. Seriously, girls. I swear it just looked bad from the outside; I'm perfectly fine."

"You're still a little pale," Elly said as she clasped my cheeks in her hands, reaching over my busy assistant. "Your skin is cool too. Are you sure you're fine?"

"Yes, I am," I stressed and gently removed her hands. I also pushed Judy back a little, because the way she was patting my chest was getting a little too suggestive for my liking.

"Your complexion says otherwise, but considering the last two times something like this happened, maybe it's not that bad?" Elly pondered with a finger on her lips.

"He did look really bad at the end of the duel," Judy stated a tad grudgingly, and the princess acknowledged her with a big nod.

"If you say so, then I suppose it must be true. You did scream out in surprise after all."

"Wait, can we rewind that a bit? What was that about screaming out?" I interrupted before the conversation could move on, and my two girlfriends gave me polar opposite reactions.

"Yes, she did," Elly told me with a grin and she pantomimed putting on a pair of glasses. "She was sitting over there, and all of a sudden she let out an 'Eeep!' and almost dropped the artifact."

"I did no such thing, and I certainly didn't drop the glasses," Judy responded quite emphatically, but I was already caught up in the scene in my head.

"Hold your horses! She let out an 'Eeeep'?" Elly nodded. "As in, and actual, surprised, high-pitched 'Eeeep'?" She nodded again, and I couldn't help but click my tongue in frustration. "Damn, I totally missed a rare event! You didn't happen to have a photo of it? Or maybe even a video?"

"Chief, stop making fun of me, or I'll hate you," my sulkier girlfriend told me on no uncertain terms, and I conceded without much resistance.

"It's a shame, but fine. So, did anything noteworthy happen since the last time I was home?"

"Joshua took Angeline home, Amelia is sleeping in Neige's room with Ichiko, and you missed some drama," my dear assistant explained, immediately perking my interest.

"Drama? What kind of drama?"

"The mostly benign kind," she stated with a shrug. "Amelia came out of the closet."

"Don't say that! Leo's going to misunderstand!" Elly cut in by literally clamping a hand onto the other girl's mouth.

"What was that again? Coming out of the closet?"

"It was a misunderstanding! A wrong choice of words! You really, really don't need to worry about it!" the princess insisted with suspicious vehemence, but she looked really desperate, so I decided to humor her.

"Fine, I won't pry. So, what exactly happened?"

"One thing led t