The Simulacrum

Chapter 69

Part 1

"Please be careful! It's really fragile!" Labcoat Guy called out in borderline panic, though for the life of me I couldn't understand why. The Fauns carrying the large industrial machine already treated it like it was made of eggshells, so pestering them like this would only make them more nervous and prone to a mistake. At last, under the watchful ministrations of the owner of the brand new workshop our handy ram-men put together on short notice, the piece of equipment safely reached its destination in the far corner of the room.

"Wow! This place is really starting to look cool!" Angie commented by my side, and I almost agreed with her until she added, "Now all it needs is a few lava-lamps and those funky coils with electricity arcing between them, and it will be perfect!"

"I'm fairly sure that's a workplace hazard," Josh countered her, but it was like throwing water onto a duck's back.

They weren't the only ones present though. In fact, the entire gang came by, but only the childhood friends stayed back to gawk at the progress of our newly formed science division. Whether it would be regular science or mad science was still up in the air, but so long as it produced results and no sentai robots, I was fine with either option.

Things were proceeding surprisingly well, all things considered. My exit from Lord Grandpa's place probably touched a nerve, as he managed to get all the requested items delivered to a pre-arranged location by the next morning. The contract with Labcoat Guy also worked out fine, mainly thanks to Elly's judicious oversight, and even the literal hand cannons were removed from the android the very same day. All of this happened just yesterday, and the only complication I've run into during all this time was a mild headache from trying to Phase all the new equipment over too quickly.

As for the workshop itself, there were still a few unoccupied areas within our repurposed bomb shelter, and after some further negotiations, Fred and Galatea were granted the use of the most spacious one on the base level. Apparently it originally used to be something like a mess hall, but after Brand and Co. moved all the useless furniture into another unused room, it proved to be more than big enough to fit all the required equipment, and then some. Even the large aquarium Galatea was so adamant about found a new home in here, and it gave some much-needed personality to the otherwise fairly drab, utilitarian space.

"So erm am I supposed to call you boss now?" Labcoat Guy inquired while awkwardly scratching the back of his head. He looked considerably better now than he used to be just a few days ago, with his previous flannel shirt and jeans replaced by a white shirt and cotton trousers combo under a pristine white coat. Even his stubble was gone, and with his hair properly combed and his panda-eyes somewhat alleviated, he finally started to look like a decent human being.

"You might as well," I answered him with a shrug. "Is there something you need?"

"Not right now, but there is a small thing I'm worried about." The serious answer made me raise a curious brow, and he soon elaborated by telling me, "I asked the erm 'staff' about this." He paused here to send an obvious glance at the Fauns grumbling about how, if they had the time, they would have properly painted the walls, before looking back at me. "They told me that you are producing electricity on-site with a generator running on gasoline."

"That's right," I confirmed, and the man's brows immediately furrowed.

"You see, I'm sure it was more than enough to run the lights and a couple of appliances down here, but these are heavy-duty equipment, and I'm not sure it will be enough to power them."

"A fair concern," I granted him.

"I was also told that this place lacks plumbing," the newly arrived Galatea noted as she smoothly joined the conversation. She had her dark purple hair in a tidy bun, and with her newly requisitioned gray business suit and pointy-tied black shoes, she got the classic office-lady look down to a tee. "The lack of running water is particularly inconvenient."

"The secret base does have a reservoir, but it's empty, so yes, you could say we have a plumbing problem," I admitted without any reservations. "That said, I have brought over a small tanker's worth of bottled water, and the toilets still work even if the water tanks have to be periodically refilled."

"That might be, but what if I told you we have a solution for both of those problems?" Fred spoke with a provocative smirk, and after a moment of thinking, I gave him the green light to speak his mind. "Galatea has already mapped the ley-lines of the area, and we have a relatively stable one running right next to us! By leveraging it, we could use it to generate an infinite amount of water and electricity!"

"How so?" I asked just to prompt him to continue, and he did so without further ado and a smile plastered on his face.

"Ki-hi-hi. It is quite complicated, but is in no way beyond my capabilities. So long as you can supply me with the materials, I can upgrade your generator within a week!"

"What master is trying to say is that we will make a transmutation device using the local ley-line as a power source," the fembot explained in much clearer terms. "It will break down any waste materials into pure hydrogen, which can be burned in a generator, and the reaction will generate water as well. It's really simple."

"Silence, Galatea! I'm trying to make a good impression!" Labcoat Guy hissed at his android, apparently blissfully unaware of the fact that I could still clearly hear him. "She left out a number of steps, and it's not that easy at all, but still entirely doable!"

"So if I get this right," Josh mused by my side, his face already maintaining a contemplative frown, "you can use this to make practically infinite electricity. How come the mages didn't exploit this to take over the energy industry?"

He ended up asking the question on my mind, and the fembot simply pointed at Angie by his side.

"The Celestials would suppress the technology because it relies on mystic techniques."

Not expecting to find herself in the center of attention, the Celestial girl quickly averted her eyes and muttered something along the lines of, "Keeping human society separate from magical stuff is kind of our thing, you know?"

Since it was obviously a rhetorical question, we treated it as such and moved on with the discussion.

"What exactly do you need to make that work?"

"Ki-hi-hi! Nothing particularly exotic. I will give you the list of required materials once we settled in."

"Question: until the device is operational and capable of producing water, can I request additional supplies of non-carbonated water?"

"For your fish-tank?" I inquired, and Galatea nodded without any pretenses. "If you behave and do your work properly, I will get you a pallet or two."

"Speaking of which," Angie suddenly spoke up while overtly looking around the room. "What exactly are they going to do here?"

"Yeah, I've been wondering about that too," Josh agreed with her and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I doubt you went through all this trouble just to make them figure out how many licks it takes to get to the creamy center of a lollipop."

"I'm curious too," Angie seconded the question of her childhood friend, and I didn't really have a reason to hide it from them.

"No, of course not. Their primary objective is going to be figuring out how magic works."

"Don't we already know it does?" Josh blurted out with palpable confusion. I couldn't really blame him, as this was a topic I only really discussed with Judy in the past.

"No-no, it's not 'whether' it works, but 'how' it does," I corrected my friend, and considering how stumped he looked, I had no choice but to further elaborate. "What I really want to know is the actual mechanisms of magic, what it can do, what it can't do, and why. To make a comparison: there is a difference between knowing that if you mix two chemicals, you get a specific end result, and actually understanding the specific reaction and how it changes the molecular structures of the chemicals involved."

"It's a little daunting for our first task, to be honest..." Labcoat Guy complained under his breath, so I flashed him an encouraging smile.

"Don't worry. I'm going to hand you the entire research archive of the local School, all the equipment you need will be 'donated' by Lord Grandpa, and you will be in the unique position where you can study the different ways the various supernatural folks in our group use their magic. And hey, even if you don't make any headway, it's not the end of the world. You are just going to get a cut in your spondulix allowance, that's all."

"What? I thought we agreed that there would be no intermediary currencies!" Fred objected with all his might, but instead of giving him a straight answer I bent my lips into a provocative smirk, followed by the words:

"You really should have read the fine print at the bottom before signing it."

"No way! Galatea, take out our copy!"

"Master, I'm ninety-seven percent certain he is only saying that to push your buttons."

While the former sentai duo argued, I sneakily vacated the premises with Angie and Josh in tow. What can I say? I hope no one expected me to just forget and forgive all the headaches, both figurative and literal, they caused me in the past? They should be thankful I was only playing harmless mind games with them instead of releasing thousands of tiny spiders into their bedrooms when they weren't around. Ah, just the simple mention of that was enough to lift my mood. It earned me my third best Crowey-screams ever, which made all the trouble I had to go through to order a whole box of baby spiders online totally worth it.

My reminiscing over my entirely harmless and good-natured pranks came to an end when we reached the sparring area of the main hall, where the rest of the gang were already waiting for us in their Magiforms. In no particular order: Elly was doing jumping push-ups (probably as a warm-up), the class rep was discussing something about schoolwork with Judy, Snowy was doing stretches with the help of Brang, while Ichiko was for some reason riding on the shoulders of an especially blank-faced Karukk wordlessly accepting his fate.

"Is everything all right with Robatto?" my assistant inquired as she broke away from her conversation, which drew the attention of the rest of the group as well.

"That's not his name, but yeah, he turned really cooperative once we finalized his contract."

"Leo has a real crack for rehabilitating baddies," Angie quipped in while unsubtly poking Brang in the side. The old Faun graciously disregarded her with the stoic expression of a great dane ignoring an overly excited pomeranian trying to play with them. Did that mean they were starting to get along?

"What are we going to do today?" Amelia raised her voice while readjusting her glasses again, and after taking a deep breath to collect my thoughts, I began to outline my plans for the afternoon.

"First, let's make sure we are all on the same page." As I said that, everyone stopped playing around and quickly formed a semi-circle in front of me. Even Josh and the little miko were paying full attention, with the latter going as far as climbing off the tolerant Faun's shoulders and moving over to Judy's side. "I already mentioned this before we came over, but even though Fred is working for me now, I still think it's in our best interest to maintain a regular training regimen. You see, I have good reason to believe there is another conflict on the horizon."

"Is it because the Knights are still on the island?" Josh guessed, and I confirmed his suspicion with a nod.

"Yes, but that's just a part of it. Long story short, another group of Draconians are coming to the island. When that happens, it is practically guaranteed that the Knights would make a move. Before that ensues, I want everyone to be in their top shape."

"New Draconians?" Amelia raised a brow in a gesture borrowed straight from Josh's book. "Do you mean the Feilongs?"

"Oh?" It was my turn to be a little surprised. "Yes. How did you know?"

"They asked for a permit to come to the island, but grandfather turned them down," the class rep told us a touch flatly. "Grandfather was sure they only contacted us to apply political pressure, but they have repeated the request twice after that. Are you saying they really want to come here?"

"They want to visit us," Elly supplied the answer with a nonchalant voice, though her efforts to appear composed were slightly ruined by her face looking like she just bit into an unripe lime.

"I see," Ammy spoke as she nodded, then after some further reflecting she added, "In any case, they asked if they could come to the island in a couple of weeks' time. I doubt the prohibitions are going to be lifted before the end of the month, so I'm afraid they won't be able to visit you any time soon."

"What a tragedy," the princess noted with a pronounced pout that somehow completely flew under the class rep's radar.

"I'm sorry, but as long as the Assembly delegation is here to investigate the break-in, I doubt grandfather would lift the lockdown."

"Speaking of which," I raised my voice to move things along while at the same time I walked over to my fuming girlfriend to pat her on the head, which finally calmed her down a little. "I doubt anything big would happen until those guys come around, but there are still a couple of things you should keep an eye out for." Since I was finished with my therapeutic noggin-tousling, I retracted my hand and used it to point at Brang before adding, "This also applies to you and your men, general."

"[Aye. My ears belong to thine words, Blackcloak,]" he responded with the utmost seriousness.

"First off, I guess the class rep is already aware of this, but there is a new girl you should keep an eye on." The mere mention of a 'new girl' immediately roused Judy's full attention, but I pretended not to see how intently she was staring at me, and instead I continued my explanation. "She goes by the name of Sahi. She looks to be a middle-schooler, but she is actually in her fifties, and she is the visiting Arch-Mage of the Assembly."

"No, she isn't," Amelia immediately denied with a huff. "She is Arch-Mage Saahira's granddaughter.

"Wait, you didn't know?" She was still looking at me skeptically, but I didn't want to go into the gritty details at the moment, so I shrugged my shoulders and concluded with, "Well, now you do. Anyhow, I just wanted you guys to know that while she might look like a cutesy, hyperactive young girl, there is a granny inside. Got that, Josh?"

"What? Why are you singling me out like that?" my friend objected, which I smoothly ignored and soldiered on towards the next topic.

"Next, while the Knights are laying low at the moment, that doesn't mean they are out of the picture. In particular, my 'sources' tell me that one of them is coming to the island, and I'm about ninety-seven percent certain that she is going to enroll in our school."

"Wait, what?" This time the interruption came from the princess, but I gestured for her to hold her horses for a moment.

"It's another girl, around the same age as us, and she goes by the name 'Penny', though if she has half a brain, she will probably pick an alias. Either way, keep an eye out on any new transfer students, and princess?" My girlfriend gave me a quizzical look, so I underscored, in no uncertain terms, "Even if she shows up at the school, don't beat her up. She might be useful."

"I'm not making any promises," Elly responded in a distinctly sulky voice as pointedly turned her face away, so I extended a single finger and lightly tickled her under her chin to draw her gaze back to me.

"Come on, princess. Please promise me you let me handle her if she shows up."

"Fine, fine!" she finally relented with a glare, though it was undercut by how hard she was trying to stop herself from giggling. This once again proved my theory that ticklish girlfriends are the best, but that was beside the point.

"Thank you. Also, if she approaches any of you, remember that while she might look harmless, she is a member of a paramilitary organization that may or may not qualify to be an international terrorist organization as well, so negotiations should be left to the professionals, or barring that, to me. Got that, Josh?"

"Why me again?" my friend objected, and I naturally let his complaints in one ear and out the other once again.

"Um So you want us to continue training in case she shows up?" Snowy raised her voice, if a little uncertainly, and after a long moment I gave her a similarly unsure nod in return.

"Kind of. Honestly, even if she wouldn't cause any trouble, which I highly doubt, we can never know when some outside-context bad guy would show up on our doorstep. Case in point, I doubt any of us expected Labcoat Guy's attacks until they started happening."

"That's true," Ammy agreed, even though she still appeared a little dazed after my previous careless revelation. In my defense, I honestly thought she already knew about it. Oh well, no sense crying over spilled milk.

"In other words, I think we should use this momentary downtime as an opportunity to consolidate our teamwork, prepare some contingency plans, and most importantly, to further improve and expand our self-defense capabilities, as doing this now might save our skins later."

"I can't argue with that," Josh spoke up and then proceeded to swing his arms a few times as he added, "So, when are we starting? I call dibs on Leo, by the way." It was at this point that I sent a troubled frown his way, which he must have misinterpreted, as he gave me a toothy grin in return and declared, "I have picked up a couple of new tricks, and I want to see if I can give you a run for your money now!"

"I'm afraid that's impossible," Judy elbowed her way into the conversation while slowly shaking her head.

"Why? I thought he's no longer feverish," Josh pressed on, and he finally stopped his weird warm-up exercise as well.

I sent a glance at Judy, and she gave me a 'Just tell them already, gosh! Why must you make such a big deal out of every little thing? Geez!' kind of look. That, or her nose was itching, but either way, since everyone was present, this was as good an opportunity as any to actually clarify my current situation.

"I'm mostly fine on that front, but I have a separate injury that hasn't recovered yet," I explained to the group in general, though at this point on Josh and Ammy weren't aware of it. "I got a so-called 'internal injury' in my right hand, and so it doesn't really function as it should right now."

"Really?" my friend blurted out while unsubtly eyeing the offending appendage in question. "I never noticed it. How bad is it?"

I tried to come up with a concise way to explain myself, but after a moment of thinking, I decided it would be probably best if I directly demonstrated the issue instead.

"I can more or less use it in everyday life, though it's a little hard to use a pen right now." While I said so, I walked over to Karukk's side and pointed at the long blade hanging from his belt. "Can I borrow that for a second?"

The Faun grunted in the affirmative and then retrieved the blade from its makeshift holster with practiced motions before offering it to me hilt-first, like some kind of knight-retainer. Putting the off-brand imagery aside, I used my right hand to grab hold of the sword and carefully took it from his hands.

It was the same, blunt-ended executioner-style sword that the Minotaur Knight discarded in my general direction. Originally I wanted to leave it locked up somewhere, but Brang convinced me that, considering our lack of access to enchanted weaponry, leaving it in Karukk's hands might be useful in case of an emergency, so for the time being he was tasked with looking after the weapon. Even though it was a one-and-a-half hander with a fairly thick blade, it was deceptively light and well-balanced, so I managed to hold it with little difficulty even with my numb fingers.

I spared a glance at Josh, to make sure he was still paying attention, and then I turned away from the group and raised the blade over my head.

"The real issue is that my fingers" At this step, I forcefully swung the sword downwards in a simply chopping motion, and even though I was sincerely trying to hold onto the hilt with all my might, the weapon inevitably slipped out of my grasp and spun through the air before crashing into the ground just a couple of meters ahead of me. Once the sound died down, I turned back to Josh and finished the sentence I started with, "can't really hold onto anything."

"[Boss!]" Karukk called out to me as he dashed after the blade and picked it up in a hurry. "[Please be careful! I just polished it this morning.]"

"It's an enchanted weapon of the Knights. It's not going to get damaged that easily," I objected, but looking at the disapproving way he was looking at me, I couldn't help but sigh and amend, "I got it, I won't do that again."

"You seriously can't hold onto anything? Wouldn't that mean you can't use any weapons?" Josh muttered, and I was delighted to see that my demonstration indeed said more than a thousand words.

"Pretty much. I still have a couple of tricks up my sleeve, but I won't be stabbing anything any time soon."

"That sucks," my friend concluded.

"Yeah, though to be fair, I wasnt planning on doing any fighting yet. Also, don't worry; I already looked into getting my hand healed, so hopefully I won't stay permanently crippled like this."

Even though I said that with the most reassuring voice I could manage, there was a long moment of heavy silence hanging in the air all the same.

"I suppose that means we have to pick up the slack," Josh suddenly concluded with an unnecessarily determined expression.

"That's right," Angie agreed with a similarly resolute look in the eyes. "Since Leo is injured, we just have to make sure he wouldn't have to fight until he gets better!"

"I just said I don't plan to," I objected, only to get overruled by Ammy.

"You keep saying that, and yet you somehow always end up working harder than the rest of us whenever something dramatic happens."

"I really don't though; it just looks like it because I usually have to deal with two or three things at the same time."

"Come on, Leo. There's no need to be modest like that," Elly purred with a proud smile, for some reason. "All of us have already seen you in action and know how cool you are."

"I appreciate the praise, but I really" I began, only to be forced to stop when even Snowy spoke up.

"I uu I agree with the others. You have been working really hard, shouldering everything by yourself. Please let us help you out."

You too, sis? Seriously now, what the hell's going on here? Did I really look like some kind of workaholic from the outside? I sincerely doubted it. I mean, sure, somehow I was the only one who consistently got injured and worn down whenever the narrative came knocking on our door, but it had nothing to do with me trying to shoulder everything. Things just happen that way because I'm aware of the tropes and they are not, so I had an extra dimension of this proverbial chess-game to consider whenever something happened. It's definitely not because I'm some kind of self-sacrificing hero type. That would be just gross.

"If we are all in agreement, then let's not waste any time!" Josh declared with a serious, borderline solemn look on his face. "Since we have to make sure Leo could recuperate in peace, we have to train even harder!"

"Agreed!" the resident Celestial echoed his sentiment, and before I knew it, I was completely left behind while they all moved over to the sparring area, even Judy and the little miko, and they began discussing tactics and training regimens.

In the meantime I continued to digest the situation, and once I was done with that, I came to the only logical conclusion: either everyone was laboring under some complex, dumb misunderstanding of my character, or I was suffering from a mild case of impostor syndrome.

Nah, fat chance. I'm too much of a slacker to have that. It must absolutely be option number one. That said, I definitely didn't mind Josh finally flexing his protagonist-muscles and motivating the others for a change, and if the misunderstanding resulted in them working harder, it would only be beneficial in the long run.

Once I settled that, I let out a relieved sigh and followed after the gang. Who knows? Maybe this situation would serve as the perfect catalyst to finally pawn all of those pesky leadership duties over to Josh, if only so that I can return to my initial underachieving bystander ways and focus on important things again, like experimenting, or theory crafting at my own pace.

I mean, right after I finished settling in Labcoat Guy and getting the materials to upgrade our generator. Oh, and I still had to fix Ammy's staff, but I also promised that I would have dinner with Elly and Judy at the mansion, and then we would watch a movie. I'd have to pick a fun one for the evening and crap, I forgot that I needed to study for the math test on Friday. Eh, I'll do that during the night, after I've finished retooling the tag system of the Celestial Hub. In fact, I didn't have the time to read the reports during the past two days, so I should probably do that too while I was at it, and then

Yes, I know how that sounded, but things are just unusually hectic right now. I'm not some kind of an overachiever; I just have to do all of these things because they are prior obligations. I seriously don't have impostor syndrome, I swear!

Part 2

"I'm thinking about a collar," I told Judy just as we sat down at one of the tables in the dining hall of the school. It was only the two of us for the time being, since Josh and the rest of the gang stayed behind in the classroom to finish up their English homework. Apparently, between the four of them, including my other girlfriend, they have read about a third of Moby Dick, so the class rep was giving them a last-minute lecture on the themes and literary devices and stuff. Snowy also stayed with them, probably to provide spiritual support or something.

In conclusion, this left me with the increasingly unusual situation of having a lunch break with only the two of us present. What can I say? Actually doing your required reading had some unexpected perks from time to time.

"How would that work?" my dear assistant asked without her hands stopping as she unpacked the large lunchbox in front of us. I ordered some drinks and two big slices of apple pie for dessert, but the main menu was provided by her today.

"More or less the same as the Magiformers," I answered while helping her unfolding the napkins. "Specifically, Josh's version. It automatically activates when he does his fluid-induced-transformation, so I'm planning on replicating it onto a pet collar, so that when Ichiko transforms, it would automatically form some clothes on her. I can't do it yet, because I still need a base enchantment to modify, but I'm actually on pretty good terms with the local artificers, so I should be able to work something out."

"It would be certainly helpful for when she has to jump in and out of my shadow," Judy mused aloud, but before I could agree with her, she finally took the lid off the lunch box, and I couldn't help but sigh at the sight.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Dormouse; I love your sandwiches, but can't we have some variety for once?"

"This is variety, Chief" my girlfriend stated in the most emphatically deadpan voice I have ever heard, following which she picked up one of the wrapped-up bundles and handed it over to me. "It's a cemita poblana."

" Still looks like a sandwich to me," I admitted, only for her to let out a sharp breath through her nose in disapproval.

"It's because your palate is too narrow. It is a type of Mexican torta from the Pueblo region."

I gave my lovely (if currently slightly difficult) assistant the mother of all skeptical looks, but since she looked entirely serious, I had no choice but to shake my head and tell her, "I have to have a talk with Josh one of these days. He is having a really bad influence on you."

"Hush, Chief, or I'm going to start to feel slightly irritated with you."

"Slightly irritated?" I asked back with a smile. "Isn't this the point where you usually claim you would start hating me?"

"I'm not small-minded enough to go that far over some sandwiches," she answered with a shrug before picking up her own share and taking a huge bite out of it.

"Ah-ha! I knew it was just a fancy sandwich after all!"

My victorious declaration elicited no dramatic reaction from the girl in front of me (probably because her mouth was full), so I grudgingly picked up another piece of food my dear girlfriend prepared and unwrapped it. I mean, all that grumbling aside, Judy's sandwiches were always good, so I was sure this wasn't going to be an exception either, and more importantly, I didn't want anyone to accuse me of being an anti-cemita.

That was a terrible pun, even by my standards. If anyone heard it, I would've had to apologize, but since I only tortured myself with it, I quickly shrugged it off and took a quick whiff of the multi-layered food in front of me. It wasn't half bad, but as they say, the proof is in the pudding. Or rather, in the never mind. Food puns were apparently the bane of my existence. I had to make sure Judy never learns about it.

Anyhow, I took a large bite following her example, and I had to admit, while my initial impression of the mixture of flavors was a little perturbing, after some further chewing it actually turned out to be pretty damn tasty.

"Look at that. This is actually pretty" I began, only for my eyes to open wide for a split second as I involuntarily hissed out a surprised, "Shit!"

"Excuse me?" Judy raised her voice in response, and her brows were already showing the first signs of an extremely rare and equally thunderous full-blown frown, forcing me to put the sandwich down and hastily explain myself.

"I don't mean the food, it's really good, but we have a situation on our hands!"

"What kind of si?"

"Leonard!"

My girlfriend's question was abruptly and quite rudely cut short by a new voice exploding into the scene, followed by its owner's arrival a moment later. The girl in question was young, tall-ish, with brown skin, had a long sparkling thread extending from the tip of her head like an infinitely long fishing line, and for some reason, she was wearing our school's winter uniform.

"Sahi." My acknowledgment of her presence was flatter than the great salt plains, but she didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, she flashed me a delighted smile and sat down beside me without even asking for permission.

"I've been looking for you all over the place! You'd think it should be easy to find someone as big as you are, but naaah! You just had to be at the last place I decided to look!"

"This is lunch break," I stated while pointing at the clock on the nearby column. "It's when people eat."

"I know, gosh!" the brown girl fumed as she sidled closer to me, so I deliberately slinked away to maintain the distance. "I just don't know my way around yet! It's my first day here!" All of a sudden her eyes lit up and she opened her arms wide. "By the way, what do you think? Does it suit me?"

I was fairly sure she was talking about her uniform, so I decided on the very diplomatic response of, "It emphasizes your personality. Also, does that mean you enrolled in our school?"

"Naaah, I'm just taking a tour." As she said that, she waved her hand in front of her face like she was chasing a fly or something. Maybe it was for emphasis? Either way, she soon let it down and tugged at her own sleeves while telling me, "I was told that I can't walk around in the building without a uniform, so I had to borrow one."

"How riveting. In that case, I recommend you visit the library next before it closes. You better hurry up and go, preferably right now."

"Oh, Leonard, don't worry about me! I have the whole day to explore, so why don't we talk now that we ran into each other by accident?"

"I can distinctly remember you just mentioned that you were looking for the Chief," my girlfriend interjected with a voice chillier than the wind blowing outside. Weirdly enough, the remote-controlled girl by my side appeared to be genuinely surprised by her comment, but it only lasted for a moment before she flashed a toothy smile at her.

"Oh, hi! Sorry I didn't greet you, but I didn't think you were with Leonard."

After that non-excuse, she spent a long second inspecting my dear assistant before she leaned closer to me.

"Pssst! Leonard!" she whispered to me on a volume level where I was sure even people on the other side of the hall could hear her.

"What?

"I, like, wasn't looking into your background or anything, but aren't you sweet on the dragon girl? You know? Rich, blonde, and with huge boobies?"

"I believe they are only above average, but otherwise you are correct," I responded a tad suspiciously, which naturally fell on tone-deaf ears.

"She isn't blonde," the incognito Arch-Mage stated so in the same high-volume whisper as before, except this time she was at least trying to cover her mouth with one hand. The other one was quite conspicuously pointing at Judy though, so I had no idea what she was thinking, but to be fair, I didn't really like to put myself into the headspace of weird old women pretending to be cutesy teenage girls.

"A very astute observation."

She let out an appreciative grunt, apparently willfully unaware of the oceans of industrial-strength sarcasm roiling under the thin sheet of civility I showed her.

"Does your girlfriend know that you are having a romantic lunch with her?"

"Erm... I don't know about romantic per se, but yes, my girlfriend is very much aware of us having lunch here."

"That's no good! If you are in a relationship, you mustn't flirt around with other girls!"

"I get that a lot, and that's why I'm doing my best to stay away from pushy girls," I told her and pointedly put some distance between us again.

"That's good," she declared with a solemn nod. "No one likes an indecisive man who is followed around by a lot of girls."

My first reaction was to disagree, considering the whole harem-compliant setting and all, but I managed to swallow my objection. In fact, considering the way Judy's brows were imperceptibly twitching, I had a feeling it was in my best interest to steer the conversation towards less Dormouse-infuriating waters.

"Noted. So, why were you looking for me again?"

"Ooooh, that's right!" The uncomfortably friendly girl beamed at me for a moment, only to then quickly shake her head and continue with, "I-I mean, I wasn't really looking for or anything, I was just, like, looking around and figured that if we met, it would be fate and stuff! Don't misunderstand!"

And now she was spouting clichd tsundere lines. What is this I don't even...

"A-ny-way! Now that we met like this, how about you show me around the school grounds? I've also heard you were attacked by an army of robots! Can you tell me about it on the way? Pretty please?"

"No."

My straightforward answer only took her aback for a second, after which she redoubled her efforts without a shred of self-awareness.

"Pleeeeease? I don't know my way around! What if I get lost and some evil Abyssal kidnaps me?"

"There are no 'evil Abyssals' walking around the school in broad daylight, but even if they were, I don't see how it's my problem."

At this point, I took a long sip from my drink to introduce a break into the conversation, yet my cold shoulder tactics still didn't seem to have much of an effect, as she kept pressing on with unwavering determination.

"How can you say that to a fragile, young girl!? That isn't gentlemanly at all!"

I wanted to throw a wisecrack at her about her not being either young or fragile, or that I never claimed to be a gentleman, but I had a sneaking suspicion that neither of those objections would have been very effective at actually getting rid of the nuisance. The real question was: what would? I imagined that anything short of literally kicking her out of her chair wouldn't get the message across, but antagonizing another Arch-Mage like that was probably not a great idea. Judy didn't seem too keen on helping me out with the situation, so I had to come up with something on my own.

After wracking my brain over the issue for a short while, I decided to first see what tools I had at my disposal, so I used my Far Sight to quickly glance around. Out of all of the useful marked people in the school, the gang was still cooped up in the classroom, Peabody was having a coffee break with Lord Grandpa in the principal's office, and as for Armband Guy...

"Oh, perfect," I blurted out in surprise before I quickly rose to my feet and waved my hand over my head with a loud, "Hey, Pascal! Come here for a second!"

The young man with the tiny spectacles came to an abrupt halt just when he was about to leave the hall. For a moment I could practically see the internal debate written all over his face even from this distance, but when I waved my hand even harder, he finally resigned himself to his fate and made his way over to our side.

"Yes, Dunning? Is there a problem?"

"In a manner of speaking," I told him not-so-straight while subtly gesturing towards the girl by my side. "Can I ask you for a favor?"

"I would certainly love to help you, but the Lord is already waiting for me," he tried to bounce me off, but such an amateurish attempt would never work on me.

"Oh, don't worry about that! He is still on a coffee break with the nurse and they are reminiscing about their college days. Are you really so heartless you want to interrupt their good times?"

I flashed the guy the most threateningly harmless smile I could conjure up at the moment, and after staring daggers at me for a while, he ultimately abandoned the last vestiges of his resistance and let out of soft 'Tch,' noise.

"Fine, what do you want?"

"Let me explain, but first: you two already know each other, right?"

I deliberately glanced between him and Sahi a couple of times, and in the end, it was Armband Guy who broke the ice with a somewhat uncomfortable, "We have met."

"He is EndyI mean, Uncle Amadeus's apprentice, right?" the incognito Arch-Mage followed suit, with a small gaffe in the process.

"So you at least know each other's faces. Great. So, the thing is, she asked me to show her around the school, but I'm already in the middle of lunch here, so I wondered if you could fill in for me." It wasn't hard to read his expression, and it said he was once again desperately looking for an excuse, so I quickly pushed forth with, "I mean, you are part of the student council, while I just transferred in at the end of the last semester, so I'm sure you are way more knowledgeable about the school's facilities than I am."

A quick glance at the brown girl beside me told me she wasn't a fan of the idea either, so I used the opportunity to do something I should've already done during our first meeting, and I extended a finger to poke her between her brows.

"Don't frown so much, you are going to get wrinkles," I told her in a light-hearted tone, and after registering what happened, she immediately leaned back and covered her forehead with both hands.

"Gosh, Leonard! You can't just do that to a girl! What if I misunderstood or something!?" she complained, but I already got my mark, so I didn't really care. Instead, I leaned a little closer and spoke to her in a low voice.

"Never mind that. Listen, you said you wanted to hear about the fight with the robots?" She gave me a suspicious look, made slightly comical by the way she was still holding her forehead, but at last she nodded. "As luck would have it, Pascal was there!"

"He was? Really?"

"Yep. He was even there during the fight against the giant robot! A whole high-rise building got destroyed that day!"

"Really-really? Were there any homunculi fighting that time too?"

"Nah, it was more of a small skirmish, but Pascal can tell you all about it."

The incognito old lady stared at me for a long time, then looked over at Armband Guy, and in the end she let her hands down, jumped to her feet with a small huff, and pointed a finger at the guy's nose.

"All right then! Lead the way!"

The target of said declaration gave me a sour look, and I could tell he was still trying to find a way to wriggle out of this situation, so I decided to pre-empt him by addressing him first.

"Now, listen; I know what you are thinking. Is a simple favor worth sacrificing my lunch break? I can assure you, the answer is yes. I don't want to brag, but most people would do more than that just to get a favor from me down the line."

For a moment I internally debated whether I should tack a knowing wink at the end of that sentence, but decided it would have been too cheesy. It would've also been unnecessary, as Armband Guy reached his own conclusion and gestured for Sahi to follow after him, but no before giving me one last meaningful look.

"You owe me one, Dunning."

"Sure, that's the point," I agreed with a smile, and after waving them goodbye, the two left the hall with the new girl already pestering him about the details of our epic battle against the nefarious Doctor Robatto.

I waited until they were completely out of sight before I finally let the tension drain out of my shoulders. I exhaled a long sigh, which turned into a protracted groan halfway through.

"You know, Dormouse, I could have really used some help back there," I grumbled while I picked up my sandwich, still only missing a single bite.

"That would have ruined your grade," Judy answered between two sips from her drink, and I couldn't help but raise a brow at her remark.

"I was being graded? On what?"

"On your anti-harem measures," she stated like it was obvious.

"Oh." There was a long beat at this point, until I tentatively asked, "How did I do?"

"C plus."

The answer was as baffling as it was straightforward, and for a moment I didn't know how to react.

"Come on, Dormouse! I was doing better than that!" I objected, yet my girlfriend only shook her head.

"The score doesn't lie. You got extra points for passing her onto someone else, but your attitude wasn't decisive enough, and I had to dock a lot of points for that flirty forehead poke."

"Hold your horses right there! That was just how I justified making physical contact to properly mark her."

"Is that so?" My girlfriend muttered as she absent-mindedly sloshed the remaining soda in her paper cup, and she concluded with the words, "It was still unnecessarily suggestive, but I can accept that excuse. I can raise your grade to B minus, but only because I can see promise in you."

"Can we maybe figure out a way to raise that grade a little higher?"

"Maybe. See me after classes, and we can work something out."

"Oh my, miss Dormouse! Are you maybe soliciting me? How shameless of you!" I teased her a little, but she apparently wasn't in the mood to do a proper skit, as she only shrugged her shoulder.

"You can also pay me off with kisses, cuddles, a massage, or any combination of the three."

"In that case, I retract my previous moral objection."

With our discussion successfully concluded, I proceeded to devour the sandwich in front of me before lunch break would be over. Judy patiently waited for me, even though she already finished her share, and she only addressed me again when I took a quick break to drink something.

"Just for the record: do you think this 'Sahi' girl is interested in you?"

"Probably not," I answered with a shrug. "I figure she's just enjoying having a younger body and flaunts it around. The first time I saw her through Far Sight, she was even trying to hit on Lord Grandpa."

"Gross."

"Agreed, but again, she does it on purpose to tease people, and if you know that, it's not that hard to ignore her. That said, I wonder if she's going to try and play with Armband Guy's head as well."

"If you are that curious, you could always check with your Far Sight," Judy pointed out the obvious. Or rather, what should have been obvious, as when I tried to reflexively Far Glance at them, I could only perceive Pascal's 'dot' clearly, in the direction of the library, with the one next to him flickering like an analog TV signal during a thunderstorm.

"Huh. That's weird," I muttered as I set my sandwich down and directed my full attention onto the newest mark I had. When I did that, I had a feeling that if I was paying full attention to it, I could probably use the flickering dot, but it wasn't the 'real' mark, so to speak. As for where that was supposed to be, I tried looking for it by following the way my mind was drawn when I was trying to focus on 'Sahi', and I soon found another, much stronger dot on the other end of the island. However, once my vision cleared, I couldn't help but let out a small gasp and immediately cut the connection to return to my body.

"What happened?" my dear assistant asked the moment she noticed the change in my expression.

"Two things," I said as I rubbed my temple. "My theory about my Far Sight latching onto the local equivalent of 'souls' instead of bodies just gained another strong proof. Also, on the same note, apparently I can trace remote-controlled bodies back to the controller."

"And why are you white as a sheet of paper?"

"Because I just saw a naked old lady pickled in a giant jar of glowing green goo," I told her, and after some hesitation, I pushed my remaining sandwich aside and added, "On an unrelated note, I'm no longer hungry."

Part 3

" and then the Chief made Pascal take her away, and that's the end of it," Judy concluded her recounting of our encounter with 'Sahi' for my other girlfriend, and the princess seemed to be unexpectedly stumped at the moment.

We were already on our way home, halfway to Elly's place to be precise, and since Snowy decided to hang out with Angie, it left only the three of us. Needless to say, with the way the weather was as of late, the two girls were sticking really close to me for mutual warmth, which actually earned a few interested looks from the usual placeholders. They were definitely evolving.

"So this is what you meant when you talked about harem countermeasures the other day," Elly said in a low voice, earning her a curious glance from Judy in the process.

"You sound disappointed."

"I'm not, I'm just I expected something more," she told my assistant a little uncertainly. "Normally when you hear the word 'countermeasures', you would think it's some kind of plan you enact in case of an emergency. Based on what you said, Leo just gave the cold shoulder to a girl."

"It was certainly a simple solution, but effective." Apparently Elly still wasn't completely convinced, so my dear assistant proceeded to elaborate. "The first step to avoiding a harem is to make sure other girls don't gain an interest in the Chief. If they do, there is a good chance the narrative would try to add them to his harem"

"Which I don't actually have, mind you," I interjected, but Judy didn't seem to pay me any heed.

"and the easiest ways to avoid this is by either making sure they understand that he is already in a relationship, or for him to make it clear that he is not interested in them. We can do the former ourselves, but for the latter, it is entirely dependent on the Chief maintaining his guard."

"And he did," the princess concluded with a grin before she raised a hand and patted me on the back. "You did great. Keep it up."

" What are you doing?"

My assistant's baffled inquiry was met with a straightforward answer.

"I'm providing positive reinforcement, of course," Elly stated while continuing to administer her very enthusiastic back-pats. "If you want him to feel motivated to stay faithful, you have to give him unconditional support and praise him when he is doing the right thing. I thought we already talked about this?"

"Don't worry about it, princess. She just can't recognize positive feedback anymore because it's been so long she'd last done it, she kind of forgot what it looks like," I obviously joked, but my dear assistant still took umbrage to it.

"That is straight-up slander, Chief. I give you plenty of positive reinforcement."

"You do?" Elly asked with the biting edge that only an innocent question could have.

"Well, maybe not lately" my dearest assistant conceded more than a bit reluctantly. I thought this was the end of that tangent, but then she suddenly raised her hand put it onto my shoulder. "You did well. Consider yourself praised."

" That was so transparently forced I don't even know how to react," I remarked, which only made her start rubbing my shoulder in the most awkward fashion imaginable.

"Hush, Chief. I'm trying."

Normally I wouldn't have had any problems with the two of them being touchy-feely like that, but we were in the middle of town at the moment, and so getting my back petted by two girls by the roadside was a tiny bit embarrassing. As such, I cleared my throat and quickened my pace, forcing my girlfriends to detach from me and then hurriedly catch up to my side afterward.

"That was mean," Elly protested the moment she caught up with me, and my other girlfriend immediately nodded in agreement.

"It was, but I understand. The Chief is easily embarrassed when he is getting praised in public. That's why I was holding back on the positive reinforcement."

"Oh please, Dormouse. Don't try to rationalize it post hoc like that; you are better than that."

Judy didn't respond to my words, and instead she pointedly averted her face, followed by a rare and fleeting display of sulkiness. I had nothing more to say either, so in the end it fell onto Elly's shoulders to pick up the thread of the conversation.

"Hey, Judy?" she addressed the other girl, and once she had her attention, she asked a question that had been on my mind for a while, but I never got the opportunity to properly ask it. "Lately you've been really err ill tempered? Let's go with that. Is there a problem?"

"No, there isn't," Judy denied with a small shake of her head, but then right after that she added, "I think I just still haven't completely come to terms with our arrangement, that's all."

"So there is a problem," I reckoned, which earned me a flat glance from her, followed by a shallow sigh.

"It's not really a problem. It's just that" She paused here for several seconds while she was looking for the right words, and Elly and I patiently waited for her to find them. "It's just that sometimes I feel unsatisfied with how we ended up. For example, when you talked with that Arch-Mage girl today and you only acknowledged Elly as your girlfriend. I logically know that it is because she only knew about her, and it is safer for me and my family if they don't know that I'm also going out with you, but it still felt really frustrating. Then I start having these weird thoughts, like that if I was more assertive early on, then I could have you all for myself, but then I start feeling terrible because it would make Elly sad, and then I start feeling even more frustrated. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

I honestly didn't expect her to spill her heart out like this all of a sudden, and for a while I didn't know how I should respond to her. I mean, this really sounded like teen love drama stuff, and I was really bad with that. I mean, the whole reason why I proposed our current OT3 relationship was so that I could avoid this, and while I was really satisfied with the arrangement on my end, apparently Judy still had her reservations.

Still, I couldn't really leave her hanging, and I was just about to formulate a proper response when the princess beat me to the punch again.

"So you are feeling frustrated because you want to have Leo for yourself?" Judy paused for a long second, followed by a tentative nod, yet it only made the princess tilt her head in incomprehension. "I really don't get it. I mean, you already do, don't you? We both do!"

"That is a paradox," my dearest assistant retorted in a much firmer voice that was still infinitely approaching two dimensions, but the princess didn't seem to agree with her sentiment.

"No, it's not. I mean, Leo is super-considerate! I for one never felt that I was 'sharing' him in any way! If anything, having you around as well only makes things more fun. Wasn't it the same for you?"

"I can't say I ever felt left out, but" Judy tried to explain herself, but somewhere halfway through her words trailed into silence, so Elly took the opportunity to continue espousing her perspective.

"We are having so much fun all the time, aren't we?"

"Well, not all the time" I tried to point out, but my voice was drowned out by the princess's enthusiasm.

"We are hanging out, and having kinship, and now we even have this whole mystery to solve about the narrative and how the universe works and everything! It's so exciting and so different from mundane, everyday life! I wouldn't exchange this for anything!"

For a moment I was really tempted to ask how being a super-rich half-dragon chased by an ancient order of knights constituted as 'mundane life', but I managed to swallow my objection down, and probably for the better.

"Does that mean that if you could have the Chief for yourself, all alone, you wouldn't take him?" my other girlfriend leveled a loaded question at her, and for a moment she faltered as she considered her answer.

"As in you mean like a thought experiment? As in, if you never existed and I could have him for myself? I suppose I would like to, but to be honest with you, I don't see how it would be more fun or fulfilling than our current relationship."

" I really don't know how to argue with you when you say things like that," Judy responded to her words with an air of defeat around her. In the meantime, the princess continued to beam an affectionate smile at her, which apparently only made her look even more dejected, so I decided it was my boyfriendly duty to return her previous gesture and reassuringly pat her on the back.

"Here, here. No need to feel upset."

"I'm not upset, I'm just fine, maybe I'm upset," she corrected me (except not really), and then after a short sigh she explained herself. "I'm always feeling so conflicted over being selfish, or needy, or jealous, and in the meantime she just skips all that mental anguish and is having the time of her life. And the worst part? I can't even be mad at her because she is such a lovable airhead."

"Whoa there, Dormouse. There's no need to be rude. She's not an airhead, she just has her own pace," I chided her, and she subtly rolled her eyes, which I interpreted as agreement and a lesson well learned. However, before I could say anything else, Elly made her way behind us and caught both of our waists in a bear-hug.

"You heard that, Leo? She just called me lovable! She is coming around!"

My dear assistant promptly rolled her eyes again, and I couldn't help but stifle a chuckle as well.

"I'm glad you are happy, princess, but if you don't let us go, we'll never get to your mansion. We will have all the time in the world to cuddle after dinner."

"I'll hold you to your word on that," she told me as she finally let us go, and she was soon echoed by my other girlfriend.

"So will I. Unless you picked another cheesy romance movie for the evening, in which case I will withhold my cuddles until sufficiently appeased."

"If that happens, you can still cuddle with me," Elly offered with a smirk, much to our surprise, but Judy quickly shook her head.

"Im still not swinging that way, but I appreciate the sentiment."

"I don't see how that is a problem; we can just have platonic snuggles!" The princess declared, followed by a series of soft giggles, and while I wasn't sure how the conversation ended up this way, seeing the two of them getting closer definitely wasn't a bad thing.

That said, we were already within spitting distance of the Dracis mansion, so after some prodding, I managed to get my girlfriends to start moving again, if only so that we would actually get there before the sun completely set.

"Welcome back milady, miss Judy, future young master," a certain familiar maid greeted us the moment we arrived at the gates and, after a quick curtsy, ushered us inside.

"Hello, Melinda. Long time no see," I returned the courtesies to the braided young woman, and she acknowledged my existence with a small nod. Apparently she still didn't completely approve of me, but to be perfectly honest, I didn't really mind. Her reaction was still more reasonable than the unconditional acceptance the rest of the family showed, even if them doing so made my life much easier. Oh, speak of the devil

"Leo!"

I was greeted by the lady of the house, and quite loudly if I may add, the moment we passed through the front entrance. She was currently wearing an oversized beige cardigan over a white blouse and matching white trousers, complete with season-appropriate knee-high boots (as for why she was wearing the latter while indoors, I had no idea), and the moment our eyes met, she broke into a full-speed dash that covered the large foyer of the mansion in under a second.

If not for my inexplicable yet trustworthy sixth sense for danger, I would have probably tried to reflexively dodge out of the way of her tackle, but instead I gently pushed the two girls aside so that they wouldn't be swept up in the enormous bear hug the Dracis matriarch subjected me to not a second later. Like mother like daughter, eh?

"Are you all right, pumpkin? I've heard your hand is injured! Does it hurt? Do you need help?"

"Erm Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine." My response didn't seem to make her want to detach from me any time soon, so I also added, "You can let me go now, mom-in-law. If you keep hugging me like that, the girls are going to get jealous."

My self-imposed mother-in-law let out an unexpectedly girlish giggle in response to my comment and finally ceased trying to squeeze the breath out of me, just in time for the Dracis patriarch to show up from another door and make a beeline right at me.

"Leo! Are you all right, son!? I've heard you were injured!"

Yep, Elly's family was overbearing as always, but I was getting used to it. I quickly explained my situation to Abram, and once he learned that I wasn't going to keel over from a hand injury, the both of them let out a long, relieved sigh.

"Thank goodness. Sebastian made it sound much worse," Emese said with a delighted smile, and her husband also nodded in agreement.

"Yes! He even made me contact one of the professional healers we know right away! But don't worry, son! Even if your hand cannot be healed, not all is lost! We just have to cut it off and then replace it with an artificial limb! The Arch-Mage of New Orleans owes me a favor anyway, so if push comes to shove, we can have him make you a draconic arm that could knead steel like it was bread dough!"

" While that sounds great, if at all possible, I would like to keep my hand, thank you very much."

The Dracis patriarch only let out a jovial belly-laugh at my not particularly delicate refusal, and this time it was mama Dracis who grabbed hold of the reins of the conversation.

"We understand, but remember that it is always an option, so don't worry too much. Whatever happens, we are going to help you deal with it."

"Well, um Thanks?"

"You are welcome, son!" Abram exclaimed and hit me so hard on the back I almost toppled forward, yet before I could issue a complaint, he reached into his breast pocket and handed me an envelope. "Before I forget it, take this!"

I received it without any hassle and opened it up, and as expected, I found a familiar key along with a piece of paper in it.

"So you have found which bank the key belongs to, I presume," I said as I fumbled a little to get the contents out.

"It's actually not a bank, but a private company providing specialized storage space for a yearly fee," Emese corrected me while also helping me to take out the key in question. "The address is on this paper, and only you can access it, personally."

"It wasn't easy to find it, let me tell you!" Abram commented with a proud grin. "I had to put half a dozen men on the case, but we found it in the end! Do you want to go and see what's inside after dinner?"

"Maybe later, I already have plans for today," I responded while pocketing the key. "Are they open on the weekends?"

"It should be written on the page!"

"It actually is," I muttered as I unfolded said page and took a quick look. The actual address wasn't in Timaeus, but one of the smaller towns on the island, and they seemed to be open 24/7. "I should visit them on Saturday, I suppose."

"Let's go together!" Abram proposed, and seeing my skeptical reaction, he hastily added, "Isn't it about time we had a bonding adventure, just with the two of us?"

"I don't know how much of an adventure this would be"

"He's just curious about what's inside your deposit box," the Dracis matriarch pointed out, making her husband flush red right away.

"Honey, please don't undermine me!"

While they talked, I considered the option and figured that getting more familiar with my overly friendly, self-ascribed future father-in-law probably wasn't a bad idea. It would also be a good opportunity to bounce a few future business ideas off him. I mean, Elly really wanted me to make more money, so I figured I might as well try to hit the iron while it was hot and bring up the idea of creating a video-sharing platform and monopolize the market while it was still budding. I would call it TheeCylinder or something equally tongue-in-cheek.

"In that case, how about Saturday, two in the afternoon?" I proposed, and it took a long second for papa Dracis to realize what I was talking about, at which point he let out another window-shaking belly laugh.

"Of course! I will free up my schedule right away!"

And with that, the parental duo proceeded to usher us towards the dining room, and it was only at this point that I realized that Elly looked unusually absent-minded.

"Hey, princess? Is everything all right?"

She blinked at me in surprise, then after a moment of hesitation her brows descended into a determined frown and she pointed a finger at me, followed by a less determined "P-Pumpkin!"

" What?"

"I'm going to call you that from now on!" she declared with her ears getting steadily redder by the second. "Mom called you that, and I realized that I really wanted to call you that too, so from now on, I will also call you pumpkin!"

"I get it, but do you really have to?" I tried to object, but Elly suddenly received unexpected support from my assistant.

"Face it Chief, with the way you are giving embarrassing nicknames to everyone, it was only a matter of time before all that karma came back to you."

"I don't think nicknames have karma, but more importantly, I'm not against Elly giving me a pet name, but 'pumpkin' sounds a little off to me."

"So if it's something other than that, you would accept it?" Judy pressed on, and against my better judgment,