The Red Hand

Chapter 194 – The Importance of a Name.

"Wha?" Akagi was surprised as Yumi tackled her. She'd not expected to be pounced like this, and was even more confused because of the apology.

"I'm so sorry, my Lord!" Yumi squeezed her. "I've caused you such great pain..." From her perspective, she forced Akagi to take an action that was now causing her distress, something the Priestess couldn't handle.

"No! Why are you apologizing?!?" Akagi wriggled free and flopped to the other side of the bed. "I'm the one at fault! So what the hell are you sorry for?!?" She had no idea why Yumi was apologizing, and was getting annoyed.

"I'm apologizing because my words forced you to make the decision that you did!" Yumi tried to hug her again, but Akagi kept her away with a barrier.

"NO!" Akagi screamed. "Yumi, that's wrong!"

"But-" Yumi was cut off.

"My decision... I did it because I was selfish! I chose what I believed what was best for you, and put my judgment above yours!" Akagi continued. "You did nothing wrong! I asked for your opinion, you told me NO, and then I overruled what you wanted, just because I thought I knew better!" Her fists tightened. "I... I'm not better than Shima... I ignored you and imposed my will just because... because I could..."

{Even if it was for a good reason... I still did something wrong...} (Akagi)

"It's fine!" Yumi shook her head. "I was just too afraid to say yes! I just didn't want to relive the pain of losing my family again, so it's fine!"

{Please... this was all my fault...} (Yumi)

"IT'S NOT FINE!" Akagi screamed again. "You should be mad at me or something! But you don't even understand anything!" Akagi stood up on the bed, glaring down at her. "You came in here to apologize, and you told me that it was your fault that I was upset! That you forced me to make the call that I did, and that you are responsible for my behavior and emotions! But that's all bullshit!"

"No, it's true!" Yumi wasn't backing down. "If I'd just been more honest with myself, then you wouldn't have had to overrule me! So it is my fault! I'm the one who put you in the position, and so I'm the cause of your-" Yumi stopped as she could tell that Akagi's anger was about to boil over.

"You... you..." Akagi's aura flared up around her. "That.... that stupid mentality... it's the one and only thing that I hate about you and everyone else in this family." Her words were filled with anger, but were quiet, and sent a chill down Yumi's spine. "The way you're speaking now is no different than a person making an excuse for domestic abuse!" She growled. "You're basically saying: Oh, it's fine, she only beat me because I did something bad. That's basically the same kind of logic you're using right now!"

Akagi retracted her aura and calmed herself down. "Listen to me!" She glared at Yumi. "You are not to blame here, nor should you be making excuses for my actions! I made a decision, one that I do not regret, but one that I know was not in line with how I should treat you!" She might not take Yumi's advice on matters sometimes, but blatantly ignoring her wishes on a personal matter like this was not something Akagi ever wanted to do. "This entire family is like this, ALL of you!" Yumi just sat and listened, she could tell that Akagi was venting frustrations both related and unrelated to this whole situation. "You idiots seem to think that when you clash with me, that giving way and just conceding is not only the right choice but the ONLY choice!" She gave a dry laugh. "I understand having loyalty to me, and hell, I can even get the religious thing a bit, but come on! I'm sick and tired of you all thinking yourselves beneath me!" She ruffled her hair in frustration. "I knew that you wouldn't be angry with me, but to actively push the blame on yourself... that's just.... NO! This whole situation has gotten out of hand, and I'm to blame for letting it go this long without addressing it properly!"

{I should've fucking dealt with this whole screwy relationship the moment we got out of FWO, but no I kicked the fucking can down the road because it wasn't causing me a problem, and look what that got me! A fanatically loyal group of people that take my word as divine fucking law! I was hoping, praying that Yumi wasn't as bad, but she is... and I need to fix this NOW!} (Akagi)

"My Lord, I understand your-" Akagi interrupted her.

"And then there's THAT!" Akagi pointed at her as she screamed. "WHY DO YOU NOT CALL ME BY MY NAME, YUMI?!?" Her venting only got worse, and Yumi could tell that the Demon was bottling up more frustration than expected.

"I. AM. AKAGI! You are my bonded soul and my equal, Yumi! I understand if the others want to address me in a more formal manner, but YOU of all people shouldn't be doing that!" Akagi growled. "It makes me think you still don't see me as... as someone you can connect with... and it feels like there's still a wall between us..." She slunk down onto the bed. "Is that all I am to you? Your master and lord? Am I not also your friend, and someone you love?"

{She's really been holding a lot in, hasn't she? I never imagined that so many things were troubling her...} (Yumi)

"Listen, I... please tell me that you don't think it's strange how much love and revere me? Think about it! Isn't it strange that the first thing you'd do when I'm upset is blaming yourself for causing it?!?" Akagi said with a defeated laugh.

Yumi thought about it for a moment before answering. "Y-Your right." Yumi looked down at the bed. "I... I'm not sure why but... the first thing that came to mind was that I was the one at fault for your pain, even though... you're correct."

{That is strange, isn't it?} (Yumi)

"So you do understand what I'm talking about?!?" Akagi groaned.

"Yes... and you're right that I've acted strangely. I guess... I guess I never really thought about it..." Yumi looked back through her time with Akagi and never really found any instances where she was truly upset with her. But she did find an extremely large amount of times where she scolded herself for causing Akagi trouble, even when it wasn't Yumi's fault.

{Perhaps...} (Yumi)

"Perhaps you were right... perhaps the game did have an effect on us." Yumi gave a wry smile. "I don't recall anything ever forcing me to act the way I did, but looking back... I think it may have influenced me towards prioritizing your happiness and well-being, even where I shouldn't."

{Many times my mind would be flooded with the desire to make her happy or to see her will be done. I always thought that was just because of my feelings for her, but... maybe there was something else at work?} (Yumi)

"So then... you all were controlled..." Akagi started to cry at the thought that Yumi's and her family's feelings were all fake. "You all really don't care about me? It was just the game making you like me?"

"NO!" Yumi dove onto her and pulled her into a hug. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." The Priestess moved to prevent Akagi's mind from collapsing, as she knew that could easily mean the end of the world in this situation. "We weren't controlled, just influenced! Our love and affection for you are real!" She squeezed her. “I love you! I love you so much, don't go thinking that's fake!”

"But-" Akagi tried to speak, but Yumi stopped her by kissing her.

"That influence has nothing to do with my love for you!" Yumi started crying. "You've done so much for me! You gave me a place, a home, and a purpose! You did so much for me when I could give you nothing in return! Over the years, I never really understood my feelings, and it wasn't until the end of our time in FWO that I came to understand the truth! I love you Akagi, and I always have! Nothing ever made me love you other than my own heart! So please, don't go thinking that our feelings for you are nothing more than false emotions implanted within our minds because that's not true!"

{And even if that was true, it won't change how I feel, so it doesn't matter!} (Yumi)

"But if the game changed people's-." Akagi tried to speak, but Yumi just squeezed her harder.

"Trust me, even without some kind of influence, all these feelings of mine, no of OURS, are real!" Yumi said while crying. "And, even if the game influenced us, remember we're in the real world now, Akagi."

Akagi's eyes went wide as she understood what Yumi was getting at.

"If the only reason we cared for you was because the game made us, then why would we still feel this way nearly a year after we left?" Yumi giggled as she hugged her tighter. "During this last year, I've never felt that same kind of pull towards you that I did in the game, which means we're no longer under its effects! Since then, I've never once felt the urge to leave you, and even now, knowing that my mind may have been influenced, I don't care." Yumi looked Akagi in the eyes. "Even if it's true that the game was affecting my mind, that doesn't take away from the kind of person you are." She cupped Akagi's cheek. "You still saved me and all the other members of this family, and you still helped every one of us when we needed it the most. So I'd say we already had plenty of reason to love you. All the game did was push us to love you even more than we already did." She smiled as she looked the Demon in the eyes.

"Are... are you really ok with that?" Akagi asked quietly. "Knowing that you're mind might have been messed with?"

"I get to be with the person I love." Yumi chuckled. "For what possible reason could I be unhappy with this situation? As we all told you before, even if these feelings were thrust upon us by the game, that doesn't stop us from feeling them. Even if you were to tell me today that the only reason I love you is because the game made me feel this way, I wouldn't care. Because, no matter the reason why, I love you, Akagi. And I assure you that all of us feel the exact same way."

"I..." Akagi had no idea what to say.

"But... you're right that my refusal to see you as my equal has kept a wall between us." Yumi bit her lip. "It's just that... you... you're such a powerful person, you can do anything... and... and you just seem to be so much better than me that... that I just... I couldn't imagine thinking of you as being on my level." She shook her head. "To consider you and I equals... I kept telling myself that doing so would be arrogant... I'm just a village Priestess, and there's nothing special about me. So how dare I see myself as your equal?"

"Yumi..." Akagi hugged her back.

"But... you're right... I need to stop thinking of myself as being lower than you. None of that should matter between us. You might be the Demon Lord, and I might just be a village Priestess, but we're partners bound together forever." Yumi pulled Akagi down onto the bed beside her. "Akagi, I'm sorry that it took me so long to see how stupid I was, and I promise that I'll stop depreciating myself. You asked me to stay with you forever, and I know that you've never once thought of me as anything less because I'm just a normal girl." She put her head against Akagi's chest. "So it's time I started doing the same."

"I..." Akagi squeezed her tightly. "Yumi... I... thank you... thank you for everything..."

"And thank you, Akagi. Thank you for everything." Yumi giggled." For saving my life, for avenging my village, for being my best friend... and for giving me back my sister." She gripped onto Akagi's shirt. "I won't say I like the idea of you going against my wishes like you did... but this one time... thank you... I would have regretted it..."

"I promise you... I'll never do it again." Akagi laughed. "I can't handle that kind of stress."

"Well then." Yumi sat up. "How about a bit of stress relief?" Her wily smile told Akagi everything she needed to know.

"Sure, but I've got a lot to blow off." Akagi tackled her to the bed, and the two began an extended period of stress relief.