The Red Hand

Chapter 154 – The Emotional Trauma.

While Akagi was busy meeting with Mixu and attempting to find the vampire who caused this mess. Kana and the girls headed to Mika's house for an impromptu sleepover. The ride was quiet, as this afternoon's events were both unexpected and traumatic for the girls. Kana kept looking down at her right hand, her mind showing images of blood covering it. Himari was worried that Kana was angry with her, but the sword spirit's worries were dispelled when Kana apologized for making her kill someone. Naturally, Himari didn't care, as killing was what she was designed to do. But Kana still felt guilty, even if Himari was completely unphased.

Kana knew in her heart that what she did was right, and that saving Mika was the correct decision. But the thought of taking someone's life, even in such a situation, was horrific. Chloe had warned her when they started training that she might one day be forced to use her training to take a life. And while Kana did not underestimate the weight of such an action, she was still ill-prepared for such a reality. Despite all her issues with Hito, he was still a classmate and one she'd known since middle school. They didn't always get along, but the last thing she wanted to do was have to kill him. Even after being assured by Akagi that he was little more than a zombie-like creature, that didn't make her feel any better. On the outside, Kana was keeping a cool and stoic façade, but on the inside, all she wanted to do was curl up on a ball and cry. But she couldn't do that, not yet. Because she knew that would Mika feel even worse than she already did, and she needed to help her friend first.

Mika was in some ways worse off than Kana. She'd seen attacks and terrifying scenes in the past, even nearly dying on two separate occasions, but this attack struck hard enough to shake even her. Similarly to Kana, she never got along with Hito, and his recent actions only angered her even more. Kana was an important friend, and Hito and the other student's attitudes disgusted her. She understood their fear and revulsion to a point, but felt things had gone far past reasonability. As she sat in the back seat, the sight of her classmate being eaten by Hito continued to play in her mind over and over again. Misha's screams for help rang in her ears, and she couldn't get the sound out of her mind. Hito's horrific appearance and actions also shook her, but what really hit home, was the idea that her best friend was forced to end someone's life to save her.

She was angry at Hito for attacking, sure, and she would never disparage Kana's decision, as she knew in her heart that Kana was in the right to save her. But more than anything else, she was angry with herself. Mika hated her weakness and the fact that, yet again, someone else needed to save her. At first, she'd wanted magic for fun things and a general sense of wonder. Even asking Imp to make a special item to allow her to play around with a fun idea she had. But now, she had a different mindset. Mika wouldn't just play with her magic, she would master it and become strong enough so that no one else would have to defend her. But before all that, she needed to make sure Kana was ok. She knew these events weighed heavily on her friend's heart and she would do anything to ease her suffering.

Naomi was the least affected of the three girls and, while still shaken, she'd mostly recovered by the time they got to Mika's house. The girl had seen her family gunned down before her very eyes, so at this point two classmates dying wasn't particularly traumatic. Rather than worry about herself, Naomi was more concerned for her two friends and their mental states. Naomi figured Kana was putting on a front, and she could tell Mika felt incredibly guilty for making Kana save her. For now, she resolved to help the two of them as best she could. Akagi texted her that she'd send over some stuff for a sleepover, asking her to keep an eye on the two girls. The Demon figured that staying away would be best for now, and that letting the girls handle this together was for the best.

Upon arrival at Mika's home, the girls went inside and sat around the kitchen table. Mika's mother poured some tea and got some snacks, though Kana first brushed her teeth and cleaned her mouth. Hishya texted her that she was going to come over, something Mika's parents were fine with. They told the girls to stay the weekend if they wished, and they offered any help they could.

Figuring sitting at a quiet table and allowing negative thoughts to stew wasn't the best idea. Mika's parents told them to watch a movie or something to get their minds off things, so the girls opted to watch some comedies and light-hearted fluffy shows. This helped to improve the mood, and Hishya's arrival a few hours later made Kana feel better. The four girls spent the night in Mika's room, watching shows, playing cards, and just generally trying to relax as much as possible. Today's events seemed to fade into the background, but Hishya could tell the girls were simply repressing things.

As the night went on and people went to sleep, Mika quietly texted Kana and asked to speak with her in the kitchen, alone. Knowing what this was about, Kana obliged, and the two sat across from each other in total silence. Everyone else was asleep, so they could talk things out without interference.

"Ummm." Mika found it hard to speak.

"Mika, it's fine, you don't have to-" Kana was cut off.

"Please!" Mika said. "Let me do this." She said, holding back tears.

Kana stopped. She could tell Mika was serious, and figured trying to talk her out of this was pointless.

Mika took a deep breath and looked at Kana, her eyes slightly watery. "I'm so sorry..." She started to cry a bit. "I'm sorry, Kana. Because of me... because of me, you...you had to...to. It's all my fault."

Kana reached across the table and grabbed Mika's hand. "It's not your fault." Kana shook her head. "I made the decision to kill him, you're not to blame for anything."

"But I am!" Mika exclaimed. "I threw the rock to help you and that made him come at me! I wasn't strong enough to defend myself! I forced you to make that choice between me and him!" Mika started crying more.

{I forced you to kill!} (Mika)

"You did nothing wrong!" Kana wrapped both her hand's around Mika's. "It was a choice between killing him and saving my friend or letting you die, and there was no way I'd let anyone hurt you. It's not your fault he attacked, and if you hadn't distracted him, I would have been hurt. So instead of you apologizing to me, I should be thanking you, Mika. Had you not had the courage to do that, I might not be sitting here right now." Kana started tearing up. "So, I'd say we're even. You saved my life, and I saved yours. How does that sound?" Kana smiled.

"But you still had to kill someone! Even if he was some vampire thing, it was still Hito, wasn't it?!?" Mika wiped tears from her eyes. "All I did was throw a rock. That's nothing compared to what you had to do! I can tell you're just pretending to be ok, Kana! I can see it in your eyes!" Mika was right, Kana was just pretending.

"Is it really that obvious?" Kana smiled as she bit her lip. "I've been trying to stay strong for you."

{I didn't want you to see me wallow in sadness, since I knew that would only make you feel worse.} (Kana)

Mika giggled with tears in her eyes. "You're not fooling anyone, Kana. You're hurting, even more than me, yet here you are trying to be strong to make me feel better. You really are too much sometimes."

{And you're so strong.} (Mika)

"I just didn't want you to... to..." Kana couldn't finish speaking as tears spilled out. "I killed him, Mika." She squeaked out. "I killed Hito! I took someone's life! I can still feel his flesh tear as I drove the blade into him, and my hand still feels sticky from his blood!" Mika got up and moved around the table to hug her.

"It's ok, Kana." Mika said. "Let it out. Holding it in... it's not going to help."

{Lord knows its not been good for our resident Demon Lord.} (Mika)

Kana turned and started crying, and crying and crying. It was probably the most she'd ever cried in her entire life. For all her maturity, she was still just a kid, and taking a life was hard on anyone, especially someone so young. Hishya stood around the corner out of sight, watching silently as this all went on. She hated seeing Kana like this, but decided to stay back and allow the two to work this out between themselves. She'd comfort Kana later, but for now, she figured that Kana and Mika needed to spend time together.

The two sat together in the kitchen together for what felt like hours until Mika eventually went to bed. The two girls felt better after discussing things and letting out their emotions. Though, it would take time, and therapy, for them to fully recover.

Once Mika went to sleep, Kana stayed at the kitchen table alone, as she was unable to sleep. After a few minutes, Kana went to see if Hishya was still awake. Naturally, she was, and the two stepped outside into the cool air for a walk, holding hands as they wandered around the neighborhood together.

"Are you alright?" Hishya asked her. "Well, I mean, do you feel a bit better?" She was also bad at this.

"I feel better now that I've talked to Mika... and cried. That helped more than expected." Kana giggled. "Though it's going to take time. This is just, a lot to process. How the hell can Onee-chan take people's lives and not care?"

"Can I speak freely?" Hishya asked, and Kana nodded. "Akagi is fucked in the head, Kana." She continued. "Your reaction, being sick, scared, and anxious. That's normal, and as bad as this is to say I'm glad to see you taking it so hard." She could tell Kana was confused. "I mean, it shows that you're still human. You haven't changed because of Akagi's power, and you're still normal for that's worth." She laughed. "When I heard you'd killed him, I was worried you wouldn't care and just walk it off. I was worried that you'd-" Kana interrupted.

"That I'd be like my sister and not care at all." Kana said. "I admit, that did worry me too. That with everything that's happened, I might start becoming more like her. While I don't mind that to a point, that is one aspect I don't want to copy.”

"Well, yes, but actually I was going to say like me." Hishya gave a wry smile. "I might bitch about Akagi, but I'm no different at this point, Kana." Kana's eyes went wide. "I killed Gim and Grim, and I didn't feel anything. No pity, no remorse. Nothing." She shook her head. "I guess becoming a dragon removed that part of me. The only time before that I'd come close to killing was when I fought Akagi at Hassan, and looking back, I truly had no reservations about ending her life.” Hishya sighed. “If it was only that one time, then I could write it off as a fluke, but ever since we got out of the game, I can just tell that I don't care about killing anymore and that it doesn't bother me. I was worried that might have happened to you." She squeezed her hand. "So I'm glad to see you're still human, Kana."

“So am I. And I'm glad to have you, Hishya.” Kana smiled.

The two continued to wander around the street together on that cool night until eventually, Kana got sleepy. Hishya flew the tired girl back to Mika's house, tucked her into the futon laid out for her, and slept beside her, holding her tight throughout the night.