The Rebirth Of A White Robe Man: I'll Follow You This Time

Chapter 320: Chaotic Mind And Choices

"Whitey?"

Shao Cheng felt Ren Yuan trying to get off from his tight hug, seemingly wanting to examine him more closely, nonetheless, he firmly pulled the man closer even though he is only using his left arm since the other one is still a paralyzed state. 

"... Just for a while"

Ren Yuan stopped and his eyes narrowed after hearing a hint of dare he says it, pleading from the usually cold and indifferent young man.

At the same time, he finally understands the seriousness that there is something deeper regarding the young man's usual depressing moment he witnessed when they traveled together.

While deep in thought, Shao Cheng watched the struggling young boy in the freezing water as he desperately reached over to the shore, completely showing his will to live, which caused Shao Cheng an indescribable emotion watching such a scene.

After witnessing Chang Pei's and Huang Ya ending in the previous life, the resentment and hatred Shao Cheng had for them disappeared, especially after staying for many years on Ren Yuan's side causing him to only have the obsession of fulfilling the promise he had spoken in the moment of his death.

At the same time, fixing all the mistakes, blunders, and errors he had done during his second life.

It was completely different from the usual reaction of how other people would react to what kind of experience he went through, especially after the painful betrayal from the people he loved and cared for with all his heart.

There is no obsession with overwhelming revenge on the people that betrayed him, there is no crazy and desperate fight against the enemies, especially when he has no thoughts of ruthlessly punishing the people who had wronged him.

Shao Cheng didn't plan to do those things because the moment he saw how Ren Yuan avenged his death, any resentment and hatred ended between them.

There was no more cause and effect regarding their Karma.

Nonetheless, Shao Cheng couldn't forget the heart-wrenching sadness of being betrayed by the people he cared for and loved dearly.

He might have accepted the fact that they didn't love him just as much as he thought, that they didn't care just how much he cared and didn't treasure him just as he hoped for.

No matter what kind of betrayal he experienced during the fight to the throne, it was completely different when it came to the two of them. Because Chang Pei and Huang Ya had thoroughly managed to touch his heart.

That is why the second death will remain as an unforgettable painful memory for the rest of Shao Cheng's entire life even if he had already let go of his hatred and resentment toward them.

So, when he watched the young boy continue to struggle in the freezing lake in order to survive, he didn't know how to react and feel about it. 

Should he make his move? Should he go save the young boy? Or should he let the young boy continue to struggle, and watch him die?

Reason told Shao Cheng "No' because that person has a high chance of getting on his way for the sake of his goal. Then there is a shaky 'Yes' when he once again sees the face quite similar to his extremely precious younger brother in his first life.

Yes, save him!

No, don't save him!

Those words keep flashing in Shao Cheng's mind, completely making his thoughts and reason slowly turn chaotic.

There was also the doubt and question if this had also happened in the previous life or was it because of the different actions he took in his new life?

Fortunately, a few distances away, the servants that should be with the Imperial Prince had rushed towards the frozen lake after hearing the struggling shout of help from the young boy that should have run away for a few minutes of peaceful time.

So, with a bit of world's weary feeling, Shao Cheng watched as the young Chang Pei was about to be rescued from the frozen lake, and he was finally able to slowly think straight.

Somehow, Shao Cheng just began to remember the fact that among the Imperial Princes, there were only two people who were unable to practice martial arts.

One was born with a weak body and a long-term illness, and the other, because of a certain accident during the younger years, leading him to be unable to practice martial arts.

Chang Pei almost drowned to death in freezing water...

It was completely similar to Shao Cheng's situation when he arrived in this world.

Shao Cheng couldn't help but let out a tired sigh regarding the young Chang Pei situation, and at the same time, he couldn't help but consider a similar situation in the future where he would start questioning if certain unknown circumstances were something he had caused.

Especially when he understood that this situation wouldn't be the last time he would start questioning the change he made.

Nonetheless, after seeing that a figure had jumped over into the freezing lake, quickly swimming towards the young boy who had started sinking in the freezing water, Shao Cheng deeply exhaled as it lessened the heaviness in his chest.

Don't move, just keep still, just keep hugging the person in your arms since more than anyone else, he is the most special and treasured existence in your life.

After Shao Cheng deeply ingrained those words in his mind, body, and soul one more time, he slowly released the tight hug from the man's waist before swiftly pulling him over and letting him sit on his lap.

"Brother Yuan don't hate me"

I can endure, persist and face anything in this world I just don't want to be hated by you...

Shao Cheng leaned over, placing his silver masked face over the man's neck, before once more wrapping his arm around in a tight hug, which hid a desperate possessiveness.

"Why are you acting like this?"

Despite how the man narrowed his eyes in doubt, Shao Cheng couldn't help the heavy mood that had once again plagued him. Especially when he couldn't help but be reminded about what kind of future would await the two of them.

At the same time, what kind of ending they would have, especially when in Shao Cheng's mind, the words spoken by the young Jiayi once again resound out.

The outcome of their lives would completely depend on all his actions and choices in this life.

Would I die once again? Will this person live an extremely lonely and desperate life?

Will their life turn in the same direction no matter how much he struggles to change them?

"You can betray me you can even take my life if I ever get in your way or because I turned into a dangerous existence in your eyes... but Brother Yuan"

Ren Yuan's gaze quickly darkened as the young man suddenly started to speak such heavy but nonsensical matters, at the same time, detecting the sudden chaotic mood that the young man strongly hid.

"Just no matter what happened between us please don't hate me, alright?"

I can endure even if the entire world hates me

It doesn't even matter if the family I'm starting to care about and like, would one day resent me too but Ren Yuan only you can't hate me

It appeared that I wouldn't be able to handle it

The moment I started having a feeling I shouldn't have, everything has changed.

Shao Cheng knew how hypocritical he was, denying his feelings that had already been planted in the previous life, unwilling to cross the line and yet unable to fully step away from the man, being entangled in such a dangerous manner even though he already vowed to remain an as close friend. 

However, after Shao Cheng witnessed the unbelievable passionate feelings of Ren Yuan in his previous life, he couldn't deny the fact that he also treasured and appreciated receiving such genuine emotion after getting over the shock and surprise regarding the man's incredible feelings.

Although he only desires a familial feeling, it is also similar to what he had deeply wished for from Huang Ya and Chang Pei in the previous life.

Despite all the danger, the hardship, and difficulty he needed to face for their future, the simple peaceful feeling he once hoped for after struggling the fight in the previous life has been easily given by this man.

There aren't enough words to describe the content and comfortable feeling he felt every time the man was by his side. Even the annoyance from the man antics wasn't as loathsome as it was in the past.

Simply put, Shao Cheng can get what he had always wanted and hoped for from Ren Yuan.

So, no matter how much he tried to suppress the growing feeling in his heart, he understood that it was already a hopeless act because the moment such feeling had grown in his heart, there is no running away.

Honestly, I'm really planted in this life, huh

I just hope that I already finish my goal before my feelings get out of hand

Shao Cheng understands how much madness and unreasonable he could get when it comes to his heart.

In the previous life, he died because of his familial love. So, he couldn't imagine how he would turn out this time because of romantic love.

"Did that young High Priestess tell you some rubbish prediction for you to be acting like this and speaking such unbelievable nonsense right now?"

Suddenly, Shao Cheng froze over, his thoughts instantly being swept away while the strong tight grip on his left arm couldn't help but loosen after hearing such shocking words from the obviously angry Ren Yuan sitting on his lap.

He didn't even react when the silver mask on his face was removed before a slender finger rotated his face to let them directly face each other.

"Hey, Little Cheng, remember what I'm about to tell you. No one can dictate how we will live since this is our life. No one can control it. So, no matter what kind of future bullshit that young woman revealed to you, don't easily believe it."

Damn, did she also tell you about the Emperor bullshit too? Or is it something else? It's definitely nothing good since look at how you are suddenly acting so strange and spouting such nonsense!

And did that young woman tell you that I will hate you later on?

"Oh yeah, I was watching from a distance when you met that young woman. Oh, it's not like I was stalking you, alright? I received a letter then I saw you when I arrived. Unfortunately, I couldn't tell what you guys were talking about."

Hmph, you will definitely be more alert when meeting with that person again. Being acquaintance or not, it's better to let you know what she has done before your back.

Ren Yuan inwardly nodded his head seeing the widening sapphire eyes, as for the reason why he had just revealed such information.

Instead of keeping it a secret, it's better to reveal it early. After all, just based on that young woman's scheming move, he doesn't believe it if that young woman wouldn't use his act of keeping such a secret in the future.

He doesn't want any misunderstanding happening between them.

It's better to be a bit more true to the young man later on, especially when he felt a bit uncomfortable at the mere thought that the two of them wouldn't be this close in the future just because he has chosen to keep what he witnessed while meeting with that young woman as a secret.

It's rare for Ren Yuan to genuinely feel happy staying with a person, particularly the relaxed atmosphere he had going on between them.

Even his paranoid act of constant suspicion and doubt to the people around, be it ally, stranger or enemy wasn't as prominent when interacting with the young man.

Ren Yuan never felt such a miraculous situation on another person, even his annoying old man and nagging mother that he could trust didn't give him the same feeling.

Of course, the most important fact is...

I don't want to lose my comfortable pillow!

"So, Whitey, listen to what I'm about to tell you. Live the way you wanted, don't listen to some bullshit! If you are having a hard time or just can't escape it, then remember I'm here alright? Just so you know, Your Brother Yuan is rather skilled on going against other people!"

No one can tell me what to do or what to become!

As long as I keep a watch out, removing the root of danger, swiftly fixing a misunderstanding, or quickly handling unexpected situations, no one would be able to turn us into enemies.

We are going to be special friends forever!