The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool “Asley”

Chapter 447.5, How They Spend the Night ~~Act 2~~ Scene 5 (Split Part 5/7)

South of Beilanea, and further south through the Giants’ Passage, was the site of the ruined Faltown.

Here, the once somber ambiance has long disappeared, replaced by cultivated lands adorned with lush greenery, where fruits, vegetables, and grains thrived abundantly.

Amidst a recently tilled field were two women, their bodies smeared with soil.

“Lala… I gotta say… My back is killing me!”

Itsuki, bent over while digging evenly spaced furrows, lamented.

“Itsuki, you said you wanted to go on a diet. Doing this will help trim that belly fat of yours.”

“Yeah, I did say that, but the strain on my knees is no joke!”

“It’s fine — I’m good at recovery magic…”

Indeed, the former site of Faltown had been changed into what it currently was — the Lala Farm.

While having Itsuki assist her with farm work, Lala conducted a late-night inspection of the fields.

“Why do this now? Considering that the world might end tomorrow and all…”

“Sir Instructor said that, precisely because it might be the end, we should carry on as usual.”

Upon Lala’s recitation of Tzar’s words, Itsuki let out a dry laugh.

“…Haha.”

And so, with dirt on the tip of her nose, Itsuki took a quick look around her.

“…And where’s Tzar, anyway?”

“I wasn’t sure if I would be able to get this done by tonight… So he went to find some extra help.”

“This late into the night?”

“Late at night or early morning, it doesn’t matter in agriculture… at all!”

“Okay, I do appreciate your enthusiasm, but you really need a proper rest.”

While watching Lala diligently planting seeds, Itsuki commented, but Lala never ceased her actions.

“You know, I’ve been thinking lately, but… aren’t our mages all a bit… nutty? Like Sir Asley, you, and then there’s Mister Warren…”

“Nutty… Yeah, that sounds nice!”

“No offense, but really… Mister Warren really has a rough way of treating people. Doing business with him has been quite profitable, though.”

“Warren’s the sponsor of Lala Farm. He’s a good man.”

“Well, I guess I can’t deny that the crops here are so nutritious and delicious…”

“Itsuki, no slacking.”

“Excuse me. This is what you call a break.”

“Your face’s all dirty.”

“…And whose fault is that?”

Itsuki, exasperated, blew air out of her mouth at her forehead. Lala, distracted by Itsuki’s swaying bangs, got excited.

“Ooh… How do you do that?”

“Well, like this… Fuu! Fuu!”

“Fuu?”

“No, not like that! Push your lower jaw forward! Like this! Fuu!”

“Fuu!?”

“Yes, that’s it!”

Itsuki pointed at Lala, whose hair danced around as she cracked a broad grin.

“I did it!”

“”What did you do?””

A sharp remark, sounding like a reprimand, echoed loudly from behind the jubilant Lala.

Startled, Lala, with a look of fear on her face, slowly turned around.

“Sir Instructor…!”

As one would expect, there he was — Tzar, Lala’s Kagachi familiar, guardian, and mentor in agriculture.

“”Lala, haven’t We always told you? Even within Lala Farm, you must not raise your voice so late at night!””

Tzar’s four eyes glared at Lala.

“Ahh! I-I apologize!”

“”Apologize quietly.””

“…! Oof…”

Lala approached Tzar and whispered softly in his ear.

“…I apologize.”

“”Apology accepted.”

Itsuki, with a wry smile at the exchange, glanced behind Tzar.

There stood another person, an out-of-place presence in this location.

Itsuki pointed at the newcomer and asked Tzar,

“…Is he our helper?”

Tzar nodded both of his heads.

“”He seemed to have free time on his hands.””

“Him…? Really?”

“”Indeed. Look at his face — he seems like a free man, doesn’t he?””

“Well, I guess…”

Itsuki examined the man’s face.

“Me, a free man? Never thought I’d hear anyone call me that.”

At the man’s shrugging response, Lala reacted,

“Hmm? Ooh, Ricky’s here too!”

Lala’s initial response was to the man’s voice, but her attention was not on that man.

The man was Barun, known as The Scale Tipper among the former Six Braves. Perched on his shoulder was his familiar, Ricky.

“You want some more spicy treats?”

Ricky, a Spicy Monkey with a fiery red face and fur, was fond of spicy foods. Lala, as the manager of Lala Farm, frequently treated Ricky to such snacks.

“Lala, let me do the talking.”

“Huh?”

“What’s up, Ricky? Did you secretly snack on something again without telling me?”

In response to Barun’s question, Ricky twitched and avoided making eye contact.

Lala tilted her head at Ricky, who only turned away from his owner.

“You want shishito peppers? We have shishito peppers.”

“Only one in twenty shishito peppers are spicy, you know. I’ll have some green chili peppers instead.”

“I’ll go get some!”

With that said, Lala rushed off to gather green chili peppers.

“”So… Barun will be the one helping us tonight.””

“Aren’t you forgetting someone? I’m also here as a helper, you know.”

Itsuki said to Tzar, pointing at herself.

“”Hmm? Is that so? Perhaps We did not notice because you were always with us…””

“Am I the only one who occasionally feels like tying your two heads together?”

“”Barun, this is Itsuki.””

As Tzar smoothly deflected Itsuki’s complaint, he introduced Itsuki to Barun.

“Oi.”

Whether intentional or not, Itsuki gave a deadpanned reaction.

“I do know you. You’re known as the… ‘Silver Signboard Girl’ or the ‘Accounting Girl.'”

“”Oh, making a name for yourself, Itsuki?””

“I want to save thirty million Gold for my retirement, you see.”

“Isn’t that a bit too much?”

Barun teased Itsuki about her ambitious plan.

Unfazed, Itsuki proceeded to declare,

“Well, I want to live a life of luxury! …Anyway, why Sir Barun? It’s fine that he’s here, but you know…”

“”I told him I would be talking about Sagan, and he just tagged along.””

“Didn’t you just say that he seemed like he had free time?”

“”That is also the case.””

“Huh?”

Itsuki tilted her head, waiting for Tzar’s clarification.

“”It could be said that Barun was acting appropriately on this final night.””

Perhaps annoyed by Tzar was talking in riddles, Itsuki looked at Barun instead.

“What were you up to?”

When Itsuki asked, Barun shrugged his shoulders and replied,

“Nothing in particular. I was just playing around, testing out some of the Teleportation Spell Circles.”

Tzar pointed out to Barun,

“”In other words, touring the world.””

At Tzar’s words, Barun abruptly froze. Then, he turned his face away from Tzar.

“”There is no shame in it. It might be the last night of your life. Exploiting Teleportation to explore unseen places is a natural action for humans to take.””

Without looking at Tzar, Barun turned his face toward Itsuki.

“You know what? Now I also feel like tying his heads together.”

“I know, right?”

Barun and Itsuki unexpectedly found a common ground.

However, as if to disrupt the harmonious atmosphere, Lala returned.

“I got them.”

Lala offered green chili peppers to Ricky, perched on Barun’s shoulder.

Ricky nodded and happily nibbled on the peppers.

“Thanks, Lala. So, anyway… where exactly is this place? It’s my first time here.”

“”This is the forgotten land. It was the homeland of Sir Ryan and his companions.””

“Oh? So Lina’s from here as well, I assume?”

“”Yes. Sir Asley saved this place twice and brought blessings to this land.””

“We also worked hard!”

Lala spoke while reflecting on the past.

Indeed, the transformation of this ruined land into a farm was undoubtedly the achievement of Lala and Tzar.

“I’ve heard about it from Miss Betty. Everyone in the town had to move out, right? So this is the place, huh…”

Barun looked happily over the farmland.

“”That is why We brought you here.””

“Huh?”

“”You got to see another place you have never seen before, yes?””

This fact revealed Tzar’s ability to easily see through the unspoken feelings of Barun — feelings that he had not shared with Tzar.

That was exactly why Barun gave Tzar a scrutinizing look.

“…Why is it that so many of Asley’s acquaintances are so sly? It’s like you know everything — I kinda don’t like it, y’know?”

“”Indeed, you are right. Even Itsuki over there is quite sly.””

“I know.”

“Excuse me!? That was uncalled for! I’m just operating with careful calculations!”

While Barun and Tzar conversed, Lala approached Itsuki.

“Quiet, Itsuki. Sir Instructor’s gonna kill you before the Devil King does.”

“Ah, right…”

Observing Lala, Barun spoke with a stern expression,

“Even a little girl like Lala knows that she might die tomorrow, huh…”

“”That is the way it is. Everyone senses their own death.””

“What about you, calculating girl Itsuki? Still worried about your retirement?”

“I’ve made proper calculations based on statistical principles!”

Itsuki said this with a proud tilt of her nose, prompting both Barun and Tzar to exchange dry smiles.

“I have no idea what kind of statistics you’re even working with…”

Amused by Barun’s exasperation, Itsuki squinted her eyes and grinned.

“You wanna know~~?”

“Sure, why not?”

“”…Well, then let us take a short break.””

“We haven’t even started yet, though…”

“”Oh, was that so?””

Barun saw through Tzar’s feigned ignorance. He knew he had not been summoned here just to help. Tzar had one aim: not leaving a lone warrior to spend this night filled with anxiety and fear. That was all there was to it.

Following Tzar’s words, Barun and Tzar moved to a nearby bench, ready to hear Itsuki’s story.

“Ready?”

“So exciting…”

Lala swung her legs from the bench, eagerly waiting for Itsuki to begin.

Itsuki, with a rod that appeared out of nowhere in her hand, casually placed it on her palm without indicating any specific direction.

“First, the probability of Sir Asley defeating Devil King Lucifer!”

Itsuki, tapping the makeshift blackboard that had mysteriously appeared in front of the bench, spoke while wielding her rod.

“”That came out of nowhere.””

“Quiet, you.”

Itsuki pointed her rod at Tzar.

“Quiet, sir instructor.”

“Quiet, Sir Tzar.”

With three requests, Tzar had no choice but to remain silent.

Then, in the complete silence that ensued, Itsuki continued,

“It’s almost zero.”

Everyone’s faces darkened for a moment.

“Almost! Almost zero! Got it? The probability of Asley defeating Lucifer is almost zero. And the probability of all of you defeating hordes of monsters and Devils is also almost zero!”

Although there was a momentary recovery at Itsuki’s use of ‘almost,’ she quickly plunged all four of them into despair.

“Like I said! It’s almost! Next, multiply this almost zero by another almost zero! Then… it’s hopelessly almost zero!”

Itsuki wrote numerous zeroes with chalk on the blackboard, adding more and more of them and moving the decimal point further left.

“…Uh, is the phrase ‘almost zero’ a hit with the kids these days?”

Barun threw a joke at Itsuki.

“Even if you multiply almost zero by almost zero, it’s definitely not zero.”

“Well… that’s true, but…”

“We’re staking the potential of humanity right here.”

“”Oh?””

Surprisingly coherent words emerged, prompting Tzar to remark.

“Yes! And so hopelessly almost zero turns back to almost zero!”

“I already regret calling her a calculating girl…”

Barun said, exasperated.

“I’m gonna die tomorrow…”

Lala cast her eyes down.

“”We must admit We were a fool for being impressed.””

Tzar sighed.

“We never should’ve come here.”

And Ricky expressed his regret.

“Now, if we add love, bonds, teamwork, and wishes, and then multiply by the enemy’s teamwork and momentum… yes! Still almost zero!”

“Looks like you’re having fun.”

“My body’s gonna return to the earth…”

“”Itsuki, stop bullying everyone.””

Barun, Lala, and Tzar voiced their thoughts.

However, Itsuki had the final say,

“…And here, we’re staking Sir Asley’s potential.”

“”…!””

The characters written on the blackboard formed the symbol of ‘infinity.’

“And would you look at that! In the blink of an eye, our chances exceeded a hundred percent!”

The sound of chalk scraping the blackboard disappeared, replaced by a sudden silence.

The one to break it first was the manager of Lala Farm.

“Pfft… Ah… hahaha!”

Laughing heartily, as if forgetting Tzar’s earlier lecture, Lala’s voice echoed.

Tzar looked exasperated. Barun exchanged glances with Ricky, and they both widened their eyes.

“…Really? Is this the part where I laugh?”

Barun pointed at the blackboard, questioning Itsuki’s calculation method as if it were a joke.

In response, Itsuki shook her head.

“We haven’t seen Sir Asley’s potential and limits yet.”

Confidently, Itsuki proudly puffed out her non-existent chest.

“That’s true, but…”

“Sir Asley has accomplished so many things considered impossible! He saved the children of the Colorful Food District, created the Teleportation Spell Circle, and defeated the Devil King once! Even if he loses, he’s still alive! And as long as he lives, he has limitless potential! …So, that’s why… My statistics are accurate…”

The longer she spoke, the more Itsuki’s voice trembled.

Though tears filled her eyes, Itsuki turned away, not showing them to anyone.

She lifted her apron to wipe her face and blow her nose.

As Itsuki turned back around, everyone could see her apron being covered in snot.

Pointing to it, Lala laughed, and Itsuki gave her an ear-to-ear smile.

Tzar sighed, and Barun, along with Ricky, exchanged glances once again.

As if speaking for the three of them, Barun looked up at the night sky.

“Yeah, I guess I can laugh at that.”

The war was tomorrow.

Itsuki, who brought smiles to those who would participate in it, earned Barun’s admiration. 

Seeing that she had even calculated the probability that everyone would smile, Barun saw Itsuki in a new light, muttering to himself, “She really is a calculating girl.”