Chapter 3: ✧:.。.
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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: FusionX
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Yuria’s gaze remained fixed on one spot – the place where her brother Robert had just apologized and left.
Robert was truly a pitiful existence – a feeble fool who only knew how to act under the household’s prestige.
Thus, she had thought he did not suit the family.
Whenever she saw the coward who could not even meet her eyes, it only worsened her mood.“My Lady.”
She almost felt annoyed when he referred to her as “sister” – a term she did not want to hear. But Robert avoided that option.
Only his eyes lacking any emotion caught her attention.
The eyes that used to waver when looking at her were nowhere to be seen.
That meek demeanor had vanished, even seeming to confront her instead.
But she soon brushed off that notion. It didn’t matter if he had changed.
To Yuria, the name Robert held no meaning at all.
This change would likely not last more than a few days either.
Those eyes would surely revert to their pitiful gaze soon enough.
Yuria turned her back and began walking in the opposite direction from where Robert had disappeared.
Accompanied by a subtle, strange feeling in her chest.
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Basically, I was being treated quite severely during this period.
The Taylor household, being of high prestige as Duke s, likely did not look too favorably upon their feeble son.
As the only son, expectations were high, and having failed to meet them, I was naturally neglected.
So I drank. Indulging in intoxicants, Father caught me in a dazed state and beat me.
Even with my hazy memory, I clearly recalled being beaten – perhaps bad memories stick out the most.
I first attempted reincarnation right before my death.
More precisely, it was just before my first death when I was to be executed on charges of treason.
The relic in my pocket reacted then.
Dazzling lights enveloped me, followed by a soft voice in my ear that I still cannot forget.
[What is it you truly desire?]
And then the words that a second loop would begin.
At first I saw it as an opportunity, but later it felt like a personal hell only I experienced.
Recalling most of my lives until I decided to try again, I was insane in the majority of them.
Coming this far, I have no desire to restore any relationships.
There are those I would thank, but they would not even remember my gratitude.
However, if there is one fervent wish I have, it is to bring about the downfall of the Crown Prince Kaitel by my own hands.
Previously, out of trepidation, I could not act against him – but Kaitel, the Crown Prince who framed me as a traitor, I definitely wanted revenge against him.
He was the catalyst for these 100 deaths, was he not?
Just counting the times I died branded as a traitor by Kaitel after that first death amounts to dozens.
The reason I received poison in the previous loop was also due to accusations of treason.
Although I had clarified that I was not a traitor, the troubled relationships from obsessing over the treason charges led to my death.
Guillotine, gallows, poison…I realized I had died in quite varied ways.
And the cause of those deaths – Crown Prince Kaitel.
Killing Kaitel was not my original goal. I had believed that if I gained everyone’s trust, I would not die. But as the loops repeated, I realized one thing:
My death always involved Kaitel’s interference, no matter what happened. Unless I committed suicide, Kaitel’s name would definitely come up, so I took notice of this strange fact and had been tracking it for nearly 10 loops now.
I had reincarnated 100 times, and excluding the fruitless ones, I think I had lived properly around 40 times or so.
The sheer number seemed excessive, but it made me newly aware of my disdain for those who never changed despite such efforts.
What was the point of all that struggle?
As much as I had risked my life over Kaitel’s actions, I had sufficient evidence.
All that remained was waiting for the right moment to strike.
Though I could not yet prove my innocence of treason, I still had about 2 years left, which was plenty of time.
I had gathered all the evidence to prove I was not a traitor from previous loops. All that was left was how to bring about Kaitel’s downfall.
“…I should exclude borrowing the family’s power.”
When I was accused, the Taylor household disowned me as a black sheep.
I wonder what they thought, seeing me being led to the gallows with a despondent expression.
Perhaps they inwardly grieved, but after several reincarnations, I now know they felt a sense of relief instead.
To them, I was merely a good-for-nothing disgrace.
It was a fact I had vaguely known already. I had only denied it and tried other methods.
I reincarnated repeatedly to be loved again, and to love – for I believed that was the value of my life.
If I believed in them, they would believe in me too. If I somehow reformed my actions, they would change their hearts as well. Most of my past reincarnations must have been lived with such thoughts.
But it turned out to be meaningless.
The me reflected in the mirror was smiling.
But it was not a true smile – a bitterness lingered in my mouth, slowly spreading across my tongue to the surroundings.
I brushed back my neatly groomed gray hair.
There was a time when this hair had turned completely white.
My skin became so coarse it cracked, and there were times when the nails on these hands were all torn out.
But now I was unscathed. Reincarnation left no physical marks, naturally.
Yet my soul still remembered those scars, so glimpsing the mirror would occasionally trigger hallucinations.
It was the same when seeing others.
Recalling the cruel words they had said, no matter how they smiled, I could only see them differently.
‘How did I endure it?’
Didn’t it seem strange, even to myself? That I remained so intact after enduring those countless deaths?
Perhaps it was quite a relief thinking this would be the last time I went through this.
What I desired was no longer improving relationships or anything of the sort.
Eternal rest – a death where I could close my eyes once and be buried in the ground, never to open them again.
Then suddenly, the scenery beyond the window caught my eye.
Outside was a bright, sunny day.
Not a single cloud marred the vivid blue and lush greenery of summer.
The shrill cries of grasshoppers brought a sense of tranquility.
Perhaps this peacefulness would not last long, but feeling such trivial emotions might be a privilege unique to this moment.
So I cleared my mind of stray thoughts. Casting aside pointless notions of revenge and the like, I slowly brushed my face.
This was one of the few moments of respite I could feel when I had just reincarnated.
Come to think of it, this might finally be when I truly die.
From now on, I wanted to take in the sights I had missed while struggling to live.
Knock knock –
“It’s Renold, my lord.”
Though my thoughts were interrupted, which was vexing, Renold’s demeanor was quite satisfactory.
It seemed my words from earlier had effectively taken hold.
Recalling the servant who now admirably did not barge in, I spoke:
“Enter.”
Renold entered with great caution, eventually glancing at my emptied teacup before bowing his head.
His manner might have even seemed a tad servile, but I thought he had taken to heart that he could be dismissed from here.
If dismissed, Renold would likely have nowhere else to go.
“What is it?”
“The Duke previously sought you out, my lord. When do you intend to meet with him?”
I turned to ask, and Renold answered with his head bowed.
The Duke , meaning Father had summoned me – fortunately, I remembered that matter.
The treatment I received for forgetting and failing to address it was so poor that I could not forget it if I tried.
I supposed I should go see him. But not right now.
Coincidentally, today happened to be a day I would see a rather welcome face.
Recalling that made me think I knew why Renold had come to me.
It seemed someone would be arriving here soon to meet me.
“It must be my fiancée.”
“…Indeed.”
Renold’s eyes narrowed briefly as if startled, but he soon nodded in affirmation.
When I said fiancée, it referred to one woman across all my lives – Theresa Violet, the woman I had loved, and who had loved me in return.
But at this point, our relationship had already become strained long ago.
A rumor had spread that I had embraced another woman despite having a fiancée, so my current situation was dealing with that gossip.
I wondered who had started that rumor. Theresa was the one who consoled me in my confusion.
Saying there was no way I could do such a thing, that it was merely a misunderstanding.
But as the rumors gradually spread, the way she looked at me changed.
The scornful, loathing gaze was from the one who had loved me.
Questioning if it was really untrue, demanding I prove my sincerity if that was the case.
But how could I prove such a thing? That was what I had thought back then.
“Then prepare some tea. No, there’s no need to prepare tea. Don’t make any preparations at all. When the time comes, I’ll go out and greet her directly.”
A faint hint of laughter tinged my words.
The startled Renold stared at me intently but, realizing I spoke sincerely, he carefully parted his lips.
“But if you do that…will you be alright?”
“Of course I’ll be fine. They likely don’t expect such lavish treatment anyway.”
I vividly remember the expression I made when I realized Theresa had approached me with designs on the Taylor wealth from the start.
The feeling of being betrayed is truly wretched.
Realizing that the feelings I had harbored were one-sided, that they too were an illusion.
It was enough to drive one mad.
“Very well, I shall do as you say. She should be arriving soon.”
Renold seemed troubled by my intentions, no doubt thinking the affluent Violet household would take offense at such treatment.
I too felt trepidation, but it was not unease.
It was more akin to exhilaration at finally being able to voice words I had never uttered before.
The Violet household was likely behind spreading the rumor that I had met another woman, and Theresa knew this yet said nothing to me.
Naturally, I could no longer harbor any warm feelings.
Eventually, when Renold had left, I let out a soft laugh as I gazed at the empty space.
“I wonder.”
The reason Theresa came to see me today was to get my approval for the annulment.
However, up until then, I had been clinging to Theresa for the slightest glimmer of hope.
Because if I lost her, I might die. Even if she was using me, I acted that way to stay alive.
But I had long known it was useless. I was just holding on in case, on the slim chance.
“I wonder what expression she’ll make if I propose the annulment first.”
The feeling of severing past ties one by one was more thrilling than anything else.
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Theresa first got to know a man named Robert at a dance party.
Unusually frail for someone from the prestigious Taylor family.
Despite his tall stature, his pale skin made him look unbearably delicate.
Indeed, his personality lacked boldness too, so Theresa eventually hatched a plan to use him.
She would have an engagement ceremony, anticipating he would fall for her, then spread a scandal.
In that situation, if she alone understood Robert, he would likely depend on the only one who understood him.
When his feelings reached their peak, wouldn’t that be the best time to let him drop?
Today was the day she would put that plan into motion. Just days ago when she received his letter, how she laughed.
Demanding jewelry and gems to prove his love for her.
Foolishly working hard to send them allowed the Violet family to amass considerable wealth.
Likely today too. Even if she demands an annulment, this pathetic man will offer her his fortune.
But the moment Theresa entered the Taylor estate gates, her expression froze.
“Please come in.”
Normally, multiple guards should have welcomed her.
Yet the empty entrance held only one person – the man she meant to meet today.
The same man she had just mocked as pathetic.
Theresa caught her breath, meaning to say something to that greeting.
The moment their eyes met, a chill ran down her spine, making her body tremble.
“…Why such an expression, Theresa?”
Though it was a soft, smiling expression, to Theresa it didn’t look like a smile.
Rather, it seemed like a snake finally revealing its true form, ready to devour her.
“On this wonderful day.”
Robert let out a small laugh.
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