The Main Heroines are Trying to Kill Me

Chapter 327: You're Fucked

- Step, step...

Right before the Bishop and the paladins were about to enter the imperial palace for negotiations.

"Hmm~ Hmm~♪"

"..."

The Demon God closely observed Frey, who was humming next to her. She squinted her eyes and muttered to herself.

This bastard… I thought he went completely batshit crazy, but it turns out it was calculated madness.

Until just moments ago, she had thought that Frey had gone completely mad due to her intervention in the system.

Of course. There's no way someone with a mental strength of 10 would break down that easily.

However, when the Church started threatening using ‘excommunication’ as a threat, Frey immediately made a rational decision.

In other words, his 'madness' itself was a strategy he had set.

If that’s the case... There's still room for me to dig deeper.

With that hypothesis in mind, as soon as the Demon God entered the room with Frey, she summoned all her barely recovered strength.

- Shaaaa...

"Submit to me, Frey."

If Frey had been in perfect condition, or had lost his mind, she would never have done such a thing.

"Hurry."

But, having pushed his body hard for two days and even using his ultimate move, Frey's physical condition was at its worst.

Furthermore, her power was one that destroyed normalcy. It was a power meant to break down and stain things with darkness, hence it was more potent against a normal person.

"..."

"You're done for. My toy."

Thus, when Frey started looking at her with unfocused eyes, the Demon God thought her power had taken root on him.

"How dare a mere mortal threaten a god, know your place, you little brat."

Looking at Frey, who was entranced by her power, the Demon God swung her legs back and forth with an excited expression as she sat on a table in the middle of the room. She soon quietly licked her lips.

"...You look quite cute like this."

Although she had awoken too early and could only exert a tiny amount of her power, he would still be entranced for two or three days.

"First, kiss the top of my foot."

Feeling even more excited, the Demon God looked down at Frey with a gaze befitting a queen and whispered.

- Swish...

Then, Frey, with unfocused eyes, carefully wrapped his arms around her foot and lifted it towards his face.

"Then, lick it diligently."

Finally feeling reassured, she coldly commanded while displaying the system window in front of her.

This time, I'll completely corrupt you, Frey.

Her heart started pounding as she began to manipulate the system.

> Would you like to deliver the [Corruption] quest to [Frey]?

[Y/N]

The moment you accept it... it's over for you.

All she needed was for Frey to accept the quest, and the corruption would proceed, even if he accepted it under her influence.

> An error occurred!

"Huh?"

As she was about to press the ‘Y’, a notification suddenly popped up, causing the Demon God to quietly tilt her head.

> Error Code: ???

> This quest cannot be applied to the entity.

"What?"

Normally, the quest would be successfully sent at this point, but suddenly numerous error messages started to pop up in her vision.

> Searching for system errors…

> Searching for a solution…

> Search for solution failed.

"Why is this happening?"

After that, as incomprehensible messages continued to appear, the Demon God tapped the screen with a bewildered expression.

> Error: A fatal error occurred in the program.

> Repairing program…

> Repair failed!

"...???"

> System Error: Fatal errors have occurred.

> A non-existent event occurred.

> A non-existent NPC was created.

> You have entered a non-existent scenario.

> An error occurred in expressing the state of the entity.

> Unable to predict the direction of the entity's progress.

> (╥﹏╥)

After continuing to spew out incomprehensible characters, the system then displayed a sad emoticon and began to buzz ominously.

> The entity? is? abnormal?

Then, the Demon God's window urgently displayed slightly broken text.

"What are you looking at?"

"...!"

The Demon God, who had been reading those windows with a dumbfounded expression, started to pale as she heard a chilling voice coming from in front of her.

"H-Huh?"

"As expected, you weren't the system itself. You were also manipulating something in order to interfere with the system."

"W-what? Why isn't the brainwashing... Gah!?"

The Demon God tried to take a step back in confusion. Suddenly, Frey forcefully grabbed her ankle and lifted her upside down, causing her to panic.

> The entity? is? abnormal?

"I-I know th... Keuheokk!!"

Then, still held by Frey, her stomach got trampled by him, causing her to gasp for air.

- Slap!!

"Ughh."

Not giving her the time to breathe, Frey suddenly slapped her cheek fiercely. Then, he took something out of his pocket and murmured.

"And also, how can you attack me? According to the Sun God, if you do such a thing, your ‘divinity’ will be diminished."

"Cough, cough..."

“By any chance, is there someone watching your back?”

"Gugu~!"

While holding Gugu, who was radiating light and flapping her wings, Frey materialized the soul of the Demon God and strangled her.

"Why aren't you talking?"

Frey whispered quietly as he looked down at the Demon God, whose face had already paled like a sheet.

"Cough, cough... cough..."

"My words are correct, aren’t they?"

"Geh..."

"That’s strange, shouldn't you be talking by now?"

With a puzzled expression on his face, Frey unfastened his belt and began to tie her wrists.

"..."

"Is it because you haven't been beaten enough yet?"

Then, Frey grabbed her limp neck and dragged her around.

- Crack...

After reaching one side of the room, Frey drove his scabbard into the wall. He then hung the belt tied around her wrist there, causing the Demon God to swing back and forth limply in the air.

"..."

- Slap!!

"...Gyah!"

Once again, Frey slapped her cheek with all his might.

"Goddess, do you not understand my word? Are the words spoken by mortals so trivial that you cannot even hear them?”

Thanks to him, Demon God woke up trembling, and Frey, with a heartbroken expression, asked her.

"Y-you... didn't you choke me until I passed out..."

"Oh yes, that did happen."

When the trembling Demon God muttered timidly, Frey mockingly slapped his head.

-Booommm!!!

"Heuuukkkkkk..."

The next thing she knew, Frey's full-force punch struck her stomach.

"Uwekkkk... ughhh..."

With tears streaming from her wide eyes, the Demon God vomited black, dark mana from her mouth.

"Oh, hitting the soul produces dark mana. You’re like a dark mana dispenser, aren’t you? Kania would love this.”

"Guhhh..."

"For warlocks, that’s like their holy water. The goddess who spews holy water when she gets hit in the stomach. Isn't it amazing?"

"Why, why...? How…"

As the Demon God muttered in terror at the violence she had never experienced before, Frey, who had been talking with a smile, suddenly hardened his expression.

"That's irrational, Demon God."

Then, stroking her stomach, Frey whispered.

"The heroines and I have lived in this irrational world you've created for your own satisfaction all our lives."

"Ugh, ugh..."

"But why are you whining about feeling irrational just because you feel a bit of pain? Isn't that the real irrationality?"

Enraged by his words, The Demon God mumbled through clenched teeth.

"I just harassed some humans a little."

"What?"

“If I speak from my perspective, you may not understand. Then, let me speak from a human perspective.”

With a proud smile, the Demon God spoke.

"At most, I just harassed some flying bugs crawling on the ground. Is that such a big deal?"

"Hooo."

"But then suddenly, one of the bugs trapped me inside one of them, and that bug started to flap its wings wildly while preaching about irrationality. Wouldn't you go mad if you were in my shoes?"

“You’re just a crazy bitch.”

“Keheukk!!"

Enraged by her words, Frey couldn’t bear it any longer and kicked her hard in the stomach, causing her to gasp for breath again.

Stupid fool...

Then, she murmured with a smile.

He didn’t even realize that the Church is just around the corner.

Before long, the Church had indeed arrived.

If they were to open the door now, she could argue that her revelation was done under duress, and she would be rescued by the Church.

Although she couldn’t understand why she failed to brainwash or assign him the quest, she decided to focus on getting out of this place and giving Frey a hard time.

"Ah! Have you arrived?"

"Gah... Gehack..."

However,

"It was indeed me who forced her to testify! How did you know? As expected, the Church is still the Church after all."

- Whack...!!!

"Gyah!"

After that, things started to take a strange turn.

...What?

Seeing that Frey was unfazed and continued to beat her despite the Church's arrival, the Demon God started to vaguely realize that something was wrong.

"Frey, don't do something irreversib... Ugh!"

"...Fuck."

And when Frey whacked the Bishop, who was trying to stop him with a composed expression, across the room with a table, The Demon God started to regret her previous words and unwittingly cursed.

"H-Heresy! This is heresy!!"

Meanwhile, The Bishop pointed at Frey and started shrieking.

"E-Everyone, In the name of the Sun God destroy that heretic..."

- Snap!

".....What?"

But soon, the Bishop found himself at a loss. He was dumbfounded because Frey just rushed towards one of the paladins and burst his head with the table, all while smiling brightly.

"One negotiation complete."

Meanwhile, Frey calmly looked down at the knight with the smashed head and murmured.

"Just 21 more negotiations to go!"

Then, he started approaching the rest of the people, spinning the table around.

>The? Enti?ty?? Is? Abno?...

"What, what on earth..."

The Demon God felt tremors all over her body as she saw all of this. And when the system text was garbled again, she closed her eyes and muttered.

> ...Please check the version status.

"I don't know... I'm scared..."

Causing her to miss the brief message that had popped up at the end.

.

.

.

.

.

- Thwack!!

As my table struck the twelfth knight's head, the head of the knight who had been rushing towards me flew far away.

"The negotiations went smoother than expected, didn't they?"

As I wiped the blood off my face, for some reason, the priests who had been banging on the door like mad suddenly hesitated and started bleeding on the floor.

"P-Please spare..."

"Just spare our lives. Please..."

"Hiiiiii... Hikkkkkk..."

Wait, upon closer inspection, it wasn't blood but urine. The surroundings were so red that he mistook it for blood.

"Why are you doing this? We're negotiating, aren't we?"

"He's... he's insane. He's insane."

"He's a devil, the devil. The devil has descended to this world..."

As I looked at them with a puzzled expression, the priests, trembling and stammering, began to retreat, their pants were totally soaked now.

"Why are you trembling so much? This is odd."

As I tilted my head at their strange behavior, I started walking towards them, swinging the table.

By the way, this table feels surprisingly good to use. It could even be used as a secondary weapon.

"Vice, Vice Commander!! Do something about him!"

"S-Save us!"

"Ugh, ugh...!"

While I was having such thoughts, the priests, terrified, pushed the trembling Vice Commander towards me.

"Aaahhh!!"

For some reason, despite being frozen stiff with terror, she managed to rush at me with a crazed look in her eyes.

"Thwack."

"Kyah!"

A stick was the cure for a madman. But since there were no sticks nearby, I struck her with the table, causing her to crash into the wall.

"Ugh, ugh... ugh..."

Because she was well-armored, she probably ended up with only minor bruises. But why was she trembling so much and unable to even hold her sword properly? Did she sustain serious internal injuries?

"Die!!!"

- Clang! Clang! Clang...!

"...What."

Worried, I approached her, only for her to attack me with her sword, so I shattered her sword with the table

The wider the area, the more dispersed the sword aura would be. Yet, someone with the title Vice Commander couldn't even protect her own sword. Incompetent.

"M-Monster."

"Why are you calling me a monster? I'm just negotiating."

I looked down at her with a slight pity, and when the Vice Commander muttered in a low voice, I scratched my head and asked.

Something has been odd since earlier. Why are they so afraid of me? Weren't they looking down on me until just now?

"C-Can’t you see?"

While I was quietly tilting my head, the Vice Commander pointed around me and shouted.

“A-After all of that, you still call yourself a human?!

So I looked around, noticing the paladins lying on the ground with shattered heads.

“How can someone with the title of Vice Commander not be able to endure this much?”

"Ugh, ugh..."

Sure, it was a slightly gruesome sight. But was it really worth making a fuss over just this?

"I haven't even killed anyone."

"...What?"

Feeling indignant, I complained with an aggrieved expression, and the Vice Commander, who had been retching, turned pale at my words.

"P-Please spare us..."

Then, she panicked and knelt before me, begging.

"Just spare our lives... I'll do anything you ask. Anything. So please..."

"This is driving me insane."

They were not even real people, just dolls made by the Church. Why made such a fuss just because I broke them?

- Swooosh…

They were not actual people, just dolls with no intellect made of earth and dark mana. Was it really that frightening to slaughter summoned creatures that could only carry out orders? They were not even alive to begin with.

- Swooosh...

"Huh?"

As time passed, the blood and dolls that had filled the surroundings began to turn black and melt away.

It's only natural.

Since I completely shattered them, the spells were bound to be undone. If I hadn't completely shattered them, the spell would be maintained, and they would respawn quickly. They were like zombies.

"Uuuh..."

- Thwack...!

Just like the one who was approaching me with its arm clumsily attached to where its head had been.

What kind of experiment was the church conducting to create such intricate dolls?

One of these days, should I just grab them and shake them down?

"Why... why didn't you tell me? Why did you send dolls instead of elite soldiers..."

As the creatures quietly turned into earth, the Bishop, finally noticing something, muttered with a rotten expression.

"M-Mistake. I made a mistake. Hehe."

Meanwhile, the Vice Commander, who had been staring dazedly, crawled towards me with pleading eyes.

"Forgive me. Great Lord Frey, I still don't want to die. So please..."

She placed my foot on her head and flattened herself, begging.

"I'll be your dog. I'll swear allegiance to you again. So please..."

"Hehe. Hehehe..."

"Uuukk... Ukk..."

And not just her, but the priests showed similar reactions.

"Hmm..."

Watching them closely, a sudden thought crossed my mind.

Could it be that they... didn't even know about the dolls?

If so, then their previous reactions made sense.

If my speculation was correct, they must have seen me as a madman wielding tables to slaughter people with real bones and organs.

But that’s not what I did. I was simply a decent person who occasionally smashed bones and did good deeds. I changed my perspective, not my brain.

"When did you join the church?"

"Y-Yes, my lord. I-I joined just a week ago. The former Vice Commander suddenly went missing, so I was urgently appointed..."

With that in mind, I asked the Vice Commander a question, and it seemed like my speculation was true.

In the first place, the vice commander position of the Church’s paladin often changed, it was like a horror story. Moreover, she looked different from the one who tried to rape me before. That meant she truly was a rookie.

"And what about that Bishop over there?"

"T-The B-Bishop became one three days ago."

"Is that all?"

"S-Sorry!! I don't know much either! P-Please spare me... ugh."

As I pressed on about the Bishop, the trembling Vice Commander, who had been shouting, backed away and trembled. Then she rubbed her cheek on the sole of my foot as I looked at them.

To send a new Vice Commander and a rookie as a bishop to such an important place.

No matter how much I thought about it, the answer was clear.

These guys are expendables.

It seemed like the Pope intentionally sent them.

To create a pretext for the excommunication? Or were they afraid they would suffer losses in the executives? Or perhaps it was a message that the Imperial Family would not be recognized?

I didn’t know what exactly the reason was, but one thing was certain.

This sucks

It was quite annoying. Since the ‘Main Quest’ to destroy the church has appeared, whatever the Pope's intentions were, they seemed arrogant.

I planned to take a break after successfully rebelling against the Imperial Family, but it looked like that wasn’t possible anymore.

- Rumble...

"Maybe if I beat them to death, the Pope, or whatever will become more generous."

"H-HIIkkk...!"

As I muttered and unconsciously exuded killing intent, the Bishop, who had a confused expression on his face, suddenly stood up.

- Thwack, thwack, thwack!!!

"Aaah!"

Then, out of nowhere, the Bishop spewed tentacles from his left arm, gripping the priests.

- Wiggle, Wiggle...

"Wah… It's an octopus."

"This... this bastard...!"

I exclaimed as he looked similar to the octopus Aria and I caught in the sea when we were young. Then, the Bishop began to speak with a sly smile.

“Y-You think I don’t have something up my sleeves?!

"Even now, you don’t have any."

"Gahhh!"

With that, the Bishop drew energy from the priests and sent his tentacles flying furiously at me. Seeing the approaching tentacles, I calmly cut them down with the table.

Indeed, the negotiation table was an excellent negotiation tool.

"Geuhh..."

"Ugh... ugh..."

"Huh? Huh?"

I was holding his arm and looking at the bastard writhing on the floor, but then I quietly looked at his back.

There, I saw the priests either unconscious or foaming at the mouth, and the bewildered Vice Commander.

"Their life is not in danger."

- Rumble...

"...Hmm?"

They were all corrupted priests, so I didn't feel much pity for them, but still, I pondered whether I should help them when suddenly, a strange sound started from behind.

"Hehehe. hahahaha!"

Tentacles suddenly wrapped all over the Bishop's body, slowly dragging him into the ground.

It looked like teleportation magic. Could it be that he tried to escape now?

- Clang...!

"It's futile! That person saved me!"

I tried to negotiate with him by throwing the table at him, but half of the bastard’s body had sunk down and the tentacles around his body bounced the table away.

"May the eternal sun rise..."

"Gugu, use tackle."

"Gu!"

"Euhokk..."

As I looked at him with a frown, I softly ordered and Gugu fiercely charged at him, crashing into him.

- Boom!!

"Aaargh..."

Gugu was a top-tier spirit after all. Naturally, the bastard who was hit by such a vicious blow vomited blood and lowered his head.

- Shhh...

"Gu! Gugu!!"

"G-guah..."

Eventually, when Gugu grabbed what was left of the bastard’s hair with her claw and lifted him up, he started struggling.

- Swoosh...

However, Gugu was unable to contend with the weight and had to let go of the Bishop. And the bastard disappeared into the ground.

"Hmm."

"Hi-Hikkkk..."

I looked quietly at Gugu, who was making an awkward expression while holding the Bishop’s hair in her claws, then I turned my attention to the Vice Commander who had been lying at my feet all this time.

"Please spare me..."

- Swoosh...

"Ugh, ugh?"

After intense negotiations, I obtained the corrupted priests and the Vice Commander as loot.

- Gurgle...

"Huh… Hiiii..."

To prevent losing the loot, I tied her wrists with the tentacles scattered around and dragged her towards the Demon God.

"Hey."

And as I tied the Vice Commander to the scabbard, I whispered into the ear of the Demon God, who had been watching the negotiation with a frightened expression.

"After I grab a drink, I'll show you what irrationality means."

"W-Where... are you going… Geuhhh"

When the dispenser, which spat out dark mana and information, asked, I pushed her towards the Vice Commander and she gasped.

"Look forward to it."

"Eugeukk."

As I pretended to punch her stomach, she flinched and her muscles convulsed.

"Gugu, you put a feather on that bastard earlier, right?"

“Gu!”

It seemed that I also acquired a remote dispenser after all.

"Where is that bastard now?"

.

.

.

.

.

Several minutes later.

"Heuk... Heuk..."

In a dark forest several kilometers away from the palace.

"Fre... Frey... That bastard is a son of a devil. Your Holiness."

The Bishop, lying prone on the ground, breathed heavily, his eyes turning black as he spoke.

"We must show that devil the power of the Church!! Your Holiness, please... Hm?"

Suddenly, he quietly turned his head, sensing a presence behind him.

"N-No, it can't be. Haha."

He nervously continued the conversation, sweating profusely.

"But why did you give me 'dolls' instead of elite soldiers, Your Holiness?"

Suddenly, he seemed to remember something and began to ask, but before he could finish -

"Found you."

"G-gah!!"

In the next moment, Frey appeared behind him and grabbed his collar, making him gasp for breath.

"The negotiation isn't over yet!! Where are you going?!"

“Keukkk!!”

Frey swiftly unfolded his beloved table that he brought along and threw the Bishop against a nearby tree.

"H-How did you..."

“I have no time to talk to a bait.”

Then, he sat down at the table and calmly asked in a cold voice.

"Pope, you’re watching, right?"

"..."

"What's your purpose?"

And then, a brief silence ensued.

"Gurgle... gurgle..."

In that silence, the Bishop, with trembling eyes fixed on Frey, suddenly convulsed and rolled his eyes.

"Hmm."

With a sudden change in expression, the Bishop regained his composure.

"Pleased to meet you."

He then addressed Frey calmly, contrasting to Frey’s excited expression.

"Your Holiness, where are you now?"

"How impertinent."

"Don't play dumb and hurry up. I’ll hit you every three seconds."

The Pope spoke in a haughty tone in response to Frey's question.

“Thank you, for dancing to my tunes. You give me the perfect excuses, Frey.”

“...”

"Congratulations. The declaration of excommunication will spread worldwide in a few hours. Of course, this includes the Princess."

"Your Holiness, do you enjoy playing tag? I love it."

The Pope smiled slightly after hearing Frey's words.

"I used to enjoy it quite a bit when I was young. But now it's not as fun.”

“Why?”

“Once you realize that even if you get caught, it won’t be that big of a deal, there’s no thrill in playing it, and since you have multiple lives, the tagger is at a huge disadvantage. Plus, there are too many perfect hiding spots now."

The Pope chuckled and began speaking with a sense of satisfaction.

"You'll never find me. So, you can't stop the declaration of excommunication. But, if you follow my instructions now..."

"123° 24° 76°."

"...?"

Frey, who was looking straight into the Bishop's black eyes, muttered with a spine-chilling expression.

"Found you."

-Sizzle…

Then, when Frey lifted the hand that had been on the Bishop's head, silver smoke rose and the Bishop went limp.

"Hide well, Your Holiness."

"...?"

"In my game of tag, you only have one life."

With a satisfied expression, Frey said his farewell and disappeared in an instant.

"..."

The Pope, who quietly watched the scene from his hiding place, opened his eyes and immediately asked the priest next to him.

"Where does '123° 24° 76°' indicate?"

"Um... Let me see for a moment."

Taking out a map from his robe, the priest began calculating slowly.

"...It’s here."

"Hm."

Hearing the response, the Pope stood up quietly and muttered.

"...This is bad."

The Pope unexpectedly found himself in a horror movie /genesisforsaken