Chapter 41: Ayano's Values (1)
Chapter 41: Ayano's Values (1)
Elementary school days. In Ayanos class, there was a rule to call friends by their first names.
We are all friends, so lets call each other by our first names. Isnt it strange to be distant and call them using their family names? The teacher wants everyone to become good friends as soon as possible.
Everyone in the class, including Ayano, responded cheerfully to the homeroom teachers kind, crumpled smile.
Lets play, Ayano-chan!
What the teacher said was true. Ayano felt that the distance between their hearts became much closer when they called her Ayano-chan and she herself began to call them by their first names.
It didnt matter if they were a boy or a girl, she got along with everyone. These were Ayanos happy memories.
Ayano-chan, I like you, Ayano-chan,
Un. I like you too.
Eh, really!?
I would never lie to you?
It was in the sixth grade that her relationship with everyone changed.
A boy in her class told her he liked her. Ayano responded, I like you, without thinking too much about it.
It really wasnt a lie. However, for Ayano, the feelings of affection were not just for that one boy, but were the same for everyone.
Later that day. The boy announced in class that he and Ayano had become lovers.
It was Ayano who was flustered by this. She liked him as a friend and never thought of him as a lover.
Ayano-chan,, its terrible that you cheated on me!
The boy became angry. He blamed Ayano for saying that she had no intention of becoming his girlfriend.
Everyone had reached the age where they were aware of the opposite sex. Ayano, however, was not yet aware of this.
It didnt matter if it was a boy or a girl. To Ayano, everyone was a good friend. There was nothing special about them.
(T/N: Coz of her childhood she became twisted huh)
Still, the other kids were different.
At some point, the group was divided into boy and girl groups. There were even scenes where boys and girls would make fun of each other just for being together.
So telling the opposite sex that you like them was an act of determination. Ayano reflected on this.
Ayano-chan, thats terrible.
I heard you played with him.
Thats terrible.
Ayano was blamed not only by the boys who confessed to her but also by the girls.
The boy who confessed to Ayano was popular with the girls. For girls who were beginning to become sexually conscious, he was attractive because he was tall and good at sports.
Ayano did something very terrible to make him sad. Thus a scheme was formed, and Ayano began to be bullied.
Why? We were supposed to be good friends.
No one even noticed Ayanos sadness.
They were such good friends. They called each other by their first name and laughed at each other. Despite these fond memories, everyone continued to blame Ayano.
I want to be friends with everyone again.
Ayano reflected a lot.
If everyone says so, then it must be my fault. I guess I should have been more sensitive to peoples feelings.
I love you, Matsuyuki-san! Please go out with me!
Im sorry.
In middle school, Ayano was confessed to again.
She could not give a proper response as she had no intention of doing so. Ayano, reflecting on her past, clearly refused.
I heard she refused him after making him interested in her.
Its terrible even though you invited yourself.
Shes just trying to play with men, isnt she?
But the reaction of those around her was cold.
The argument went like this. She called the boys by their first names in a friendly manner. They were close. Thats why they were asking her out.
Ayano had no such intention. She called them by their first names to get to know them as friends. The sense of distance was the same for both boys and girls. That was all.
While everyone around her was gradually becoming more sensitive to male-female relationships, Ayano was the only one who had not lost her consciousness of these from when she was a child. She thought she had changed, but she hadnt.
Because this was how She made friends. Because thats what the teacher said. Ayano smiled so as not to appear distant, and she did not know what was wrong with her.
I love you!
With me!
Please go out with me!
After that, Ayano continued to receive confessions from numerous boys.
Ayano became aware that she was cute. She noticed that boys looked at her differently than other girls.
She also noticed that every time she turned down a confession, she was antagonized by the girls. The same was true for the boys whose confessions she turned down. They expressed their affection for her, but if she refused, they easily turned their back on her.
I what should I do?
Ayano consulted a friend. She was the only friend she could talk to about anything.
She wanted to be friends with everyone. But she was still unsure about relationships with men and women. She doesnt want to be confessed to. She didnt want to be bullied.
She told her everything she could think of. She didnt know what to do and she wanted her to understand how she felt about this.
Whats that Ayano-chan, isnt that too extravagant?
But her friends reaction was not what Ayano expected.
It was not comforting, sympathetic, or invigorating. Her friend stared at Ayano with hostile eyes.
Her friend was just another person who felt animosity toward Ayano.
Thats when Ayano finally realized. Before she knew it, she no longer had any friends.
The teacher lied to me .
Unable to accept this fact, Ayano became depressed.
Still, there was no end to the number of boys who confessed their feelings for the cute Ayano. She could not go out with them, but if she refused, the girls would accuse her of getting on their nerves, and the boys who refused her confession would call her good only for her face, not her character.
As these days continued, Ayano suddenly thought.
If everyone hurts me,.its okay for me to hurt everyone else, too, right?