The Inconceivable Flame: A Fallen Angel“s Disguise

Rationality and love have nothing to do with each other. Because love had never been logical and true love is always beyond rationality. Rational worlds are too fragile since they are based on fragile emotions.

And when you find heaven on your lover’s lips, that’s when the rationality is truly lost. At least, that’s what happened to Xiao Zhiren who completely lost his control and rationality as the kiss got deeper and deeper. If he could, he would never want to pull away but the fact that he had that burning desire to taste every single inch of her body made him pull away. But only enough to drop kisses down her jawline to her neck.

Her hair fell over her shoulders seductively making her look more tantalizing and captivating. With such beauty looming before his eyes, how could he hold himself back? He couldn’t possibly stop his hands from wanting to touch her, feel her closer than she already was.

Her collarbones were covered with the fabric of the dress but it didn’t stop him from kissing down towards the valley of her breasts. Ru felt her body burn in a strange way. She could feel the heat of his lips even with that fabric between them. But the possibility of it not being there was like a short-circuit. Because she couldn’t tell whether she was ready for that step or not.

Xiao Zhiren was obviously oblivious to her inner battle while he raised his head to kiss her exposed shoulders and his hand went behind her back to pull her zipper down. Ru clenched her fists tightly to stop herself while her teeth bit the inside of her cheek.

Xiao Zhiren was only able to pull the zipper down to her mid-back when Ru tasted blood in her mouth and her senses returned. Lifting her hand, she fisted his hair and pulled his head up saying, "Don’t take liberties that are beyond my control."

"Ouch! Ouch! Can you let go of my hair, first?" Only from his reminder did Ru noticed that she was using more force than she intended.

"Sorry," she apologized and let his hair go.

Xiao Zhiren sat up, not before dropping a kiss on her lips and said, "You don’t have to apologize."

"When you live in London, sorry becomes a habit you can’t possibly shake off that easily," was Ru’s reply which Xiao Zhiren had to agree with. He had heard and seen how on London streets even if you bump into someone, you’ll hear a sorry. They say sorry for almost anything. But then again, it showed how the British were more polite people, so who can complain about that?

"Anyways, I meant that you don’t have to apologize even for stopping me," said Xiao Zhiren sincerely. Ru closed her eyes and he jokingly said, "Do my words sound that touching? Did they move you to tears?"

Ru opened her eyes at looked at him with a displeased look as she said, "Even if I’m moved, I won’t shed tears for that."

"Well, you can’t possibly control emotions," said Xiao Zhiren in a knowing manner.

Ru rolled her eyes at him and sighed out, "I might not be able to control emotions but just like that my tears are not in my control as well. I have never cried in my life before."

Xiao Zhiren looked at her strangely as he asked, "Never? Not even once?" Ru shook her head in negation. "What about when you’re feeling pain? Or when you’re sad, upset, heartbroken?"

"Zhiren, I have never cried. According to my grandfather’s study of my brain, I’m incapable of producing tears," replied Ru in such an indifferent manner that Xiao Zhiren felt weird. "I can feel emotions. I feel pain, sadness, and any other feeling. But none of those feelings bring me to tears. It has something to do with my brain even though there were a lot of rumors in my clan about my condition."

"Rumors?" asked Xiao Zhiren curiously.

"Yeah, my astrology master used to say that I’ve cried enough in my previous life and that’s why I can’t cry anymore." Hearing her words, he gaped at her in disbelief. "I have an even better one. There was another rumor that I’m cursed. Well, I am cursed but I’m sure my inability to shed tears has nothing to do with that."

It took him a while to digest her words before he recalled something, "You learned astrology?"

"Oh, I’ve learned a lot of weird and useless things. Stop getting surprised over everything. I’m the person who learned Latin- a dead language - just because I thought it was cool."

Xiao Zhiren ruffled her hair at her way of replying. "It seems like you have a lot on your mind."

As Xiao Zhiren noticed her underlying shades of worries, she took a deep breath and stood up, "I do have a lot on my mind but... I can deal with it. After all, who am I? I’m Young Master Ru! I can do it all."

Xiao Zhiren’s face scrunched up and he said, "Love, can you stop addressing yourself as Young Master Ru? It seems weird."

Ru’s brows furrowed as she looked at him and said, "But I am Young Master Ru."

"You’re a woman. It should be Young Miss Ru," reminded Xiao Zhiren in a polite way.

Ru crossed her arms over her chest and stared squarely at his face. "My gender can’t define my title. I was Young Master Ru and I’d like to stay that way. Young Master Ru is not a name. It’s my identity. It’s who I really am. Alev Knight, Xie Rong, or my any other title can fade away. But Young Master Ru is that reality of my life which I can’t run from."

"You really take your gender way too lightly," said Xiao Zhiren with a shake of his head.

Ru gave a lopsided grin and said, "My father didn’t teach me about gender equality. He made me live through it and made me realize that there was not a single person of the opposite gender in my clan who was better than me. So, for me, gender is just an excuse for people who want to give up. Otherwise, gender is not a barrier. The barrier is our societal norms and our own thinking."