Chapter 21
Note : another exhausting week of group assignment…. haahhhh…. I’m so sick of this… well, at least the teachers are really kind…. also I got a flu since Monday, after I’m healed, I’m going to buy a bunch of ice cream!
How was your guys days been this week? I hope everyone can enjoy the weekend!
Sorry for any errors! If you spot any mistake please let me know in the comments!
“ …Harold? Why did you come to visit me when you should normally be in the royal capital?!”
I must have arrived at an unexpected time because as soon as I entered, she rushed to me with a smile that was even happier than usual.
After meeting Abne and leaving the royal road, I came to Eleanor’s temple, seeking advice from the goddess I serve.
“I’m sorry that I came for a snobbish purpose, but I came here because I wanted to ask you something…”
Come to think of it, I’ve only visited her for general profit, and after doing so, I’ve come to feel a new sense of guilt.
“Don’t worry! No matter the reason, just seeing your face here brings comfort to someone who’s lived as long as me… So, don’t give me that kind of expression, Harold!”She tries to keep a smile on her face to comfort me, but on the contrary, that attitude makes me even sadder.
“You know… Harold….Originally, gods are beings that exist beyond mortals comprehension, no matter how they are perceived. It’s a relationship that can never truly be understood… Throughout history, there has always been an inherent and unbridgeable gap between mortals and transcendent beings…”
At the same time, she raised her head vaguely as she recalled the bittersweet old memories.
“The gods often hold friendly attitudes towards humans and at times even regard mortals favorably, sometimes even seeking a relationship beyond that of mere servants and masters.”
She closed her eyes slowly and began reciting the lines I had heard in the game, one by one.
“Mortals also worship such gods and have maintained a symbiotic relationship by offering their sublime beliefs and fulfilling their duties. Some gods who are fond of them have emerged, caring for mortals and even desiring secret relationships with them. However, a true and successful relationship has never been established.”
Hearing that, I asked her a question.
“Is it… from the perspective of the gods, it must have been challenging to embrace mortals like us in such a way…?”
In a sense, the beings known as gods were immensely powerful, omnipotent, and overwhelming compared to the limited capabilities of mortals.
This inherent difference made an absolute gap between mortals and gods that could never truly be bridged.
This relationship could be likened to that between a dog and its owner, a connection no more intimate than that.
Just as affection between an owner and a dog has its limits, it typically does not surpass the boundaries of friendship or familial bonds.
For humans who often perceive themselves as the pinnacle of existence, animals are often regarded as lower beings.
The emotional connection between vastly different creatures in terms of appearance and intellect is usually limited.
This sentiment likely extends to the gods as well.
Even if the gods share a similar appearance with mortals, the immense discrepancy in power and intellect means that mortals, no matter how devoted, are at best seen as loyal subjects in a master-servant relationship.
“No, that’s wrong…”
However, my thoughts were unequivocally dismissed as Eleanor wore a sad smile.
“Rather…it’s the opposite.”
the opposite…?
“Yes…?”
“Gods lust for mortals were not uncommon, and each offered courtship to the mortal they fell in love with…”
Suddenly, she leaned her body against me and muttered in a slightly lingering voice.
“Instead, mortals often felt unworthy… No matter how loudly the gods declared their acceptance and love…, it was often met with rejection… There had never been a intimate bond… between gods and mortals before…”
Then the strength of her embrace grew, and she buried her face in my chest to hide her expression.
Ssuk-
“It was almost like a promise, where all mortals turned away from the hearts of the gods they revered and worshipped, causing deep wounds in the hearts of many gods…”
“Eleanor-sama…?”
“That’s what makes it so exhilarating… It was a concept that had been set, achieved through circumstances previously unattainable… The collective hope of numerous gods, that even among mortals, a connection could be forged with the one they truly love. This was the fulfillment of that long-held desire…with you…Harold…”
Sniff-
Then, my chest started to get wet by her tears, and Eleanor’s voice became more and more hoarse and cold.
“Harold… you are my man… the one who remains by my side, even though the beginning of our bond was tainted with infidelity…”
It was evident that she was crying at that moment, and her efforts to conceal her distressed expression were understandable, driven by her desire not to burden me with worry.
“So I feel both happiness and anxiety… Unlike us gods, who are immortal, my heart aches when I think of you, who will eventually fade away, and I can’t bear the thought of it…”
This….
She hugged me tighter as if she she wouldn’t want to let me go, no matter what.
Sniff-
“Please, always stay by my side… Give me that smile every day… so that I don’t regret the pain that will come…”
How did we even end up at this point…?
I had no choice but to keep my mouth shut in this gloomy situation.
“haah…”
However, even in such a heavy atmosphere, when she pulled her face away from my chest, Eleanor whispered to me with her usual smile as if nothing had happened.
“To be honest, I can’t really relate to the emotions of the gods who are somewhat similar to the protagonists of a story… It just feels a bit too far-fetched for me.”
What…
“But I can understand it, the pain of parting… Even if I can’t truly feel it, I can comprehend the sorrow of being unable to be with the person you love.”
“……”
As soon as I tried to argue with her inwardly, my doubts were blocked by the words that followed.
“Well, somehow, I said something heavy! But, don’t worry too much about it, you don’t have to make such a complicated expression, just treat me like you normally do, Harold!”
With a determined effort, she dispelled the heavy atmosphere and reverted back to her usual energetic self.
“We’ve strayed from the topic… Let’s refocus, shall we? What do you want to ask, my knight?”
Despite Eleanor’s attempt to move past her emotions, I found myself increasingly irritated by her earlier words.
Up until now, I had been disregarding fundamental moral beliefs.
My actions and thoughts were driven by my desire to return to my original world, and I realized that I had been selfishly justifying my actions based on having a purpose.
Complex thoughts running through my head as I listened to the story…
Perhaps these are the concerns that have been lingering in my mind all along.
The thought of returning to my original world raises questions about the fate of those connected to me here in the future.
As I contemplate the possibility of returning to my own world, I can’t help but think about the impact it would have on the people I’ll leave behind.
If the time comes for me to vanish without a trace, what kind of expression would appear on the faces of those who have been my friends and companions thus far?
Eleanor, Mir, Abne… And Erina… Will everyone be sad if I suddenly disappear…?
These thoughts complicate my mind.
Will I truly be able to leave this world behind, even after forming deep connections with those who exist now and will continue to exist?
As the story unfolds, the time spent with the people I’ve come to know can be both brief and enduring.
With the progression of the narrative, new relationships will naturally form, intertwining my human connections into a complex web.
In the end, will I find myself having carved out a place for myself in this world, no different from the one I once inhabited?
And if that time comes, when everything concludes and the opportunity to return arises, will I possess the heart to leave everything behind without feeling any regrets?
…….
No matter how many times I pondered these questions, I found myself trapped in a cycle of frustration and uncertainty.
“Herald? Harold!!”
“?! Yes?!”
Lost in my own thoughts, I failed to fully engage with what Eleanor was saying, and a sense of unease began to settle in as I continued to disregard her.
“What is it, Eleanor-sama…?”
She wore a displeased expression, seemingly offended, but eventually responded even though it took a moment. As I offered an apology, her stern expression gradually softened.
“Didn’t you say that you came early because you had something to ask me? What is it?”
With those words, I quickly recalled my original purpose and asked her the question I wanted to know.
“Actually, I will be going to a dungeon with a female adventurer I’ve recently come to know…”
When I told her about all the circumstances, Eleanor, who heard my story, began to make a disgusted face.
“Ha…! Seriously… Are you still talking about meeting that other bitch? Even though I’ve heard the story, Harold, you’re unexpectedly venomous when I see you talking so bluntly.”
Sigh…
Taking a deep sigh with a displeased expression, it was like a mother looking at her immature son.
“…I was too worried going without any preparation… I’m sorry…”
When I politely bowed my head, I tried to ease Eleanor’s heart, but she avoided looking at me and murmured something inaudible.
“How wonderful it is for humans to go out of their way for someone who doesn’t even matter… Well, I guess I was drawn to that kind of personality from the beginning…”
“Yes…? What did you say…?”
“It’s nothing!”
Abruptly, she let out a sharp tone, a hint of anger in her voice, and then crossed her arms, shaking her head.
“so… about this…”
Once more, I lowered my head in a deep bow, pleading with Eleanor.
“What an impossible man…haah….”
She let out another sigh, as if reluctantly giving in.
However, her demeanor quickly shifts, and she adopts a resolute expression with a touch of determination.
“Fine…, I’ll give you some help to overcome that unfavorable compatibility.”
“Really?!”
Eleanor gently nodded her head as I raised my voice.
“Well… I’ve already marked you as mine, so let me share some special knowledge with you.”
At the same time, she handed me an old book.
“It’s a book of mystical magic, and its contents are filled with uplifting words and various philosophies. It’s blessed with a charm that facilitates inner growth for those who read it…”
Perhaps it’s because this is a world where magic exists, but there are things that are both nonsensical and real, strange yet necessary.
“Thank you, Eleanor-sama!!”
I accepted the book she handed over and once again expressed my gratitude, as she nodded her head, looking satisfied.
“Un… I’m glad if you’re satisfied. Seeing your smile makes me feel at ease…but….”
With those words, the space between our faces suddenly diminished, and she leaned in closer, her breath brushing against my skin.
“Harold? Before you leave, I want to ask you one thing.”
“Yes…?”
I felt a little uneasy, but I pretended to be as calm as possible and listened to her words.
“No matter how much I’ve claimed you as mine, you still find yourself spending more and more time with other women…so….”
As the anxiety begin to hit me, she demanded that I be flexible and respond appropriately.
“……”
The gap between our lips keeps narrowing, little by little…
T-this…
I can guess what she wanted me to do…, but when I try to do it myself, it’s a bit daunting, and at the same time, heat starts to rise to my cheeks.
Chu!
I couldn’t resist her cold gaze any longer, so I kissed her, but with the least amount of courage, I pressed my lips against her cheek, not her lips…
“Hmm… It’s different from what I expected, and I’m a little disappointed… but I’ll pass on with this.”
Though she expressed slight dissatisfaction with the outcome, her demeanor suggested a degree of contentment with the playful disappointment.
With a gentle smile, she allowed our faces to return to their previous distance.
“While we’ve already done everything, on the cheeks,… It’s something new ♡.”
Her words brought back a memory, and I couldn’t help but crack an awkward smile in response.
“Hahaha….haha…”
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