All Web Novel
That's some Dumb Stuff, Larry.
That's some Dumb Stuff, Larry.
I bet you guessed the wrong Mythic evolution, dear reader.
Yggdrasil graft? No, thank you. Don't want to become sessile. System Core? Getting yeeted to another world? Pfft. True Hero? Where have all the good men gone, indeed?
That left me with two choices. Divine Dungeon and Mana Dynamo.
My choice was really easy. Mana Dynamo... was fucking boring. Also, what is this about cleansing and improving the world? For free? This Class must have the most ridiculous Mana generation bonuses ever to be worth it. If I wanted more Mana, all I had to do was to plant more trees. Easy peasy. Give me a hundred million square feet of land and I'll plant a million trees and get a million base DM per day. Multiplied by Willpower. Boo. You're out. Also, it was totally a meme choice based on Delve by SenescentSoul. Used to come out every Sunday before the world went to shit.
I mean, even if Mana Dynamo gave me tens of millions of DM per day for free, which I was sure it fucking didn't or it would be broken, It still paled in comparison with the other one.
Okay, answer this honestly. Who would pass the opportunity to become A FUCKING GOD?
A.
Fucking.
God.
Muahahahaha. I shall smite the Infernali with lightning from the heavens. And if that failed, I still had the rockets. But change that Class name because we don't want trouble with Dakota Krout.
I made my choice and pressed the big fucking "Yes!" button. There was no such button.
> Your Class has changed. Electronic Apple Orchard (L) has been demoted to a Sub-Class. No Traits, Perks, Skills, Resources, Characteristics, or Attributes were changed. The level of Electronic Apple Orchard has been reduced to zero.
> You became a God Dungeon (M).
> On top of your old progression, you gain an extra 5 Attribute Points per level. You gained retroactive 5 points of base MP for every level between 1 and 29. Due to your starting level, you gained 885 Attribute points and 145 base MP.
> You gained the Trait, Divinity Pool. You gain divinity from prayers and spontaneous sacrifices from your worshipers. The Divinity Pool has no upper limit. Should you demand sacrifices, you go down the path of evil.
> You gained the Skill, Demiplane Control: You have fine control over the Demiplanes you create.
> Rank 1 Benefits: The portal to your Demiplanes can be moved. The cost to move a portal depends on the square of the distance.
> You gained the Skill, Bless. Shower your believers with your divine power.
> Rank 1 Benefits: You can spend Rank*(100-3*Rank) DM to empower a worshiper, granting them a (5*Rank)% combat bonus for 24 hours. This ability requires no line of sight, just that you are aware of the worshiper.
> You gained the Skill, Divine Spellcaster. You can cast spells of divine nature.
> Rank I Benefit: Demons suffer (10*Rank)% extra damage from your magic.
> You learned the spell, Banish the Iniquitous: Spend 2,000 MP. If a Demon or Heretic anywhere inside your Domain fails a Willpower contest, they suffer damage equal to sqrt (Wisdom + Clarity).
> You have a free Divine Spell slot.
I dumped the 885 points into Willpower.
> You learned the Perk, Consecrated Domain: Demons and Heretics in your Domain suffer a 15% combat penalty.
> You learned the Trait, Replicate Holy Water: You can Replicate Holy Water. Each gallon costs 77 Dungeon Mana.
> You learned the Perk, Domain Dimensional Stability: Opening rifts, portals, or teleporting inside your domain cost twice as much unless you authorize it.
> You learned the Trait, Holy Relic: Objects with great significance to your faith become relics. Relics may grant a plethora of bonuses to those who pray to you under them. You gain 1 extra DM for every supplicant's prayers.
> You learned the Trait, Divine Mandate: You may set one rule that becomes law on your Domain. The daily upkeep cost of the said rule varies with the amount of change it causes to reality.
> You learned the Trait, Demigod: Halve all wounds received regardless of armor unless you suffered a wound from demonic or profane origins. You gain a one-time bonus of 50 points to all Attributes.
The difference was that Traits were always on. Perks needed to be turned on and off, and I could only have six Perks active at any time.
"I only gained six extra Perks," I told Marshall.
"Fuck you," he broke character. "You'll get more Perks from your new Class when you level the old one again as a Sub-Class. But you might never again gain another Perk from the old one."
"I think I can live with that." The synthetic voice didn't convey my emotions.
He stared at me. "I can't say if you are being honest or sarcastic. Damn robot."
"Let me see if I unlocked any (Legendary) subs."
> The Demonic Tree (Legendary, Cultivator)
> A demonic cultivator tree who might one day ascend to godhood. With an insatiable thirst for the blood of the living, the demonic tree grows stronger with a unique sign-in feature. The longer you wait and the more sacrifices you accumulate before signing in, the bigger your rewards.
I think that's cool but I was sort of pressed for time. But being a demonic tree? Too sessile for me.
> Protean Dungeon (Legendary, Dungeon)
> Bringer of change. The originator of legends. The Protean Dungeon is a treasure trove of opportunities. Those who earn its friendship and favor shall be elevated into greatness among their peers. Those who incur its wrath shall lament for all eternity.
Dude. Another Class they were trying to push into me. Also, the difference between rarities was way less pronounced when they were all sub-Classes. The quality of the Perks might be a bit better and the Class Skill stronger but it was too minute. Synergy was more important than cool shit.
> Trismegistus Artificer (Legendary, Spellcaster/Crafter)
> Alchemy. Enchantments. Mana manipulation. Spells. The Trismegistus Artificer combines all these disciplines and many others. A single creation of theirs is so valuable it might spark wars between kingdoms.
An upgraded version of the Techno-Wizard? The first Class I saw with two generic classifications.
> Cybertronian Matrix (Legendary, Core)
> True cybernetic life no longer lies beyond your reach. Build and imbue your robotic creations with a spark of life.
Yeah. That one smells like a lawsuit.
> Groundhog Dungeon (N/A)
> Da Capo. Go back to the beginning. Keep your Status. Burn the Sub-Class slot as an offering to the God of Time. You will fail your Quest, though. The Seed of Yggdrasil won't be offered again. Earth's hope will remain forever lost in the river of time.
Ugh. What is considered the beginning? The moment I was killed during the initial invasion? The landfill?
> Magical Dungeon Gunslinger (Legendary, Warrior/Dungeon/Spellcaster)
> Would you like to make a contract? Form a pact with an interdimensional mascot and unlock magical powers untold.
Pact with whom? Nah. Too risky.
> Valhalla Core (Legendary, Core)
> The grand halls lost to time where the Einherjar feasted, drank, brawled, and... did non-PG-13 stuff. Grasp a piece of eternity and realizes it unfolds forever unto itself. Choose the worthy to inhabit your halls forever, and join in battle in a time of great need. Valkyrie servant included; the last survivor of Ragnark. Lost and trapped in between dimensions, she awaits release.
Free Waifu ticket? I don't need any Valkyries. But this was the last Legendary entry available.
No. I had two slots. The next one was 23 levels away. Probably five long years. I needed to get something that gave me synergy. Yeah. Fuck that. I just needed to blow eight whales in a raid and bam, new Class choice.
I was overthinking this shit. My main way of fighting was with guns. Pick the Class that says "guns" and get over it. The worst that can happen is that I have to drop the Class again, keeping a Skill and Perk for my troubles.
>Would you like to make a contract? (Yes / No)
The System wouldn't screw me over, would it? I pressed "yes" with my mind.
> You became a Magical Dungeon Gunslinger (Legendary, Warrior/Dungeon/Spellcaster)
> A guardian of justice and love, you shall fight against the Infernale, anathema to all creation, with the aid of your cute mascot.
> You gain +2 Intelligence, +1 Willpower, +2 Clarity, and 1 base MP per level.
> You gained the Astral Transformation Skill. Transform into a better you! Fight with the power of your magic.
> Rank 1 Benefits: You can transform at the cost of (100*Rank) MP per minute. While transformed, increase the efficiency of all Attributes by (3*Rank)%
Oh, God ( I mean, me ) what have I done? I should've overthinked! Overthinking is good!
Something furry and weird appeared before me.
*
*
"Marshall," I called him to let him know I had finished my selection. Also, to ask him if he was seeing the weird furry thing floating in front of me. I doubted he was. He wasn't staring at it.
"You're level 176 at least! and 184 at most!" Marshall said. That's the level range where a (Mythic) gives six more Perks than a (Legendary).
I stared at him. Then at the thing. I didn't want to talk about the thing. Or talk to the thing.
"What's your level? Since you so rudely deduced mine and stated it out loud."
"Two hundred and five."
"Fine. Now, do you see anything odd defying the laws of physics?"
"Contractor, he can't see me!" The thing said.
Perhaps I should say something about the thing. It had a beak, fur, flipper paws, poison spurs, and a flat paddle-like tail. My power animal was a platypus.
"Marshall, I think I need some time to process my Status changes."
The man reacted better than I thought. "Okay. See you tomorrow."
He just walked away. The floating platypus did a somersault in the air. "You can talk to me with your mind, contractor!" The thing seemed happy.
"Okay!" I thought. "What the hell are you?"
The platypus giggled, "I'm your magical mascot! Together, we will defeat the Infernali!"
"Can the System drug people?"
"NO!" The magical mascot cried in horror. "I don't like that you are implying I'm a hallucination, contractor."
But I definitely thought it was a hallucination. First, "why can't Marshall see you?"
"I'm invisible to everyone but the contractor unless I wish to be seen!"
"How can you fly?"
"I'm magical!" More giggles. "You can fly too!"
Fair.
"Try using your transformation!"
Against my best judgment, I decided I should give it a try. Fuck. We're doing this.
*
*
"How do I do this?" I asked.
"Say, Purin, Kurin, Kuririn! Magical transformation!"
I grimaced. "I'm dropping the Class. I bet Heavy Gunner works just fine to boost my combat ability. No way in Hell you'll make me say this."
A stray thought flashed in my mind. "If I drop this Class, do you vanish?"
"No. I'm not a Trait, you made a contract with me! A System contract. I provide you with guidance, companionship, and incentive. And you fight the Infernali. Just that. When you signed the contract, the System transported me here."
"So are you a summon?"
"Also no. I can assure you I'm not an evil creature. And yes, that's what an evil creature would say. But I'm not." The platypus fidgeted with its..."
"Are you a boy or a girl?"
"A boy! We, magical mascots match the gender of our contractors. I know you are a Dungeon Core but you think of yourself as male."
"What happened if I picked the Valhalla Class?"
"The System would bring the Valkyrie here."
"How do you know that?"
"I can access some System information if it is related to you."
"The time loop option, when would it send me back?"
"To the start of the invasion. But it is a very bad choice. We need to defend the seed!"
"How long until the World Tree sprouts?"
"Classified!"
"Can you fight?"
"Nope. I'm just a mascot. I'll give lots of hugs and moral support!"
"Any way to transform without saying that stupid shit?"
"Aww..." It tried to look cute and goofy.
"I'm serious. Look, it seems you were tossed into it by the System but we can work with that. But I refuse to say stupid for just a 3% Attribute bonus."
D'aww!" It did a little jig.
"I'm serious. That stuff might work with humans but not with me."
"Fine. You can just think the words."
I didn't answer or think anything. Well, other than the will to not think.
"You can ask me. I'll trigger it for you."
"Okay. Let's test this thing."
The platypus materialized. "Purin, Kurin, Kuririn!" The damn beast shouted.
I was expecting a light show and ribbons. Instead, power flowed to my Core and I felt myself bulge. For two seconds, everything was light. Then I looked at myself with my Domain. My Core had transformed into a perfectly smooth and round red crystal apple. Complete with the crystal stem. No longer half-eaten and rotten. It was...
Whatever. It's not like I cared about my appearance at this conjecture.
"How do I level this Skill?"
"Use the transformation and fight Infernali while using it."
I looked at the thousands of notifications for zero Exp that rolled in every minute from the automated weapons.
"Oh, really?"
"yeah. When do we fight?"
> Your knowledge and training improved your Astral Transformation Skill to rank II While transformed, Guns and cannons you use deal (10*Rank)% more damage as magical damage.
Now that was the kind of synergy I wanted. I grinned at the platypus. "My secret is that I'm always angry. I mean, fighting."