The Creatures That We Are

Chapter 575: Nagging

“I had consulted a taoist. The feng shui here is good.” Gao Yang’s uncle lit a cigarette and took a drag with practiced ease. He was a little overweight, and his hairline somewhat receding. Over the past few days of work, he had visibly aged.

“After the seventh day of death, I’ll have someone build a concrete platform and put on the tombstone with the etchings done. Then we’ll plant two cypresses.”

“I’ll sweep the tomb every holiday and Lunar New Year. You should visit them too whenever you have the time.”

“Thank you for the past few days, Uncle,” Gao Yang said. “We would’ve been lost without you.”

“We’re family. This is my responsibility.” The man sighed. “I was going to ask you to come live with me, Yang Yang, Xinxin, but your mom and dad had moved to the city so that you could go to a good school.”

Gao Yang nodded. “We can take care of ourselves. Don’t worry, Uncle.”

His uncle patted him. “You’ll be the pillar of the family going forward, Yang Yang. Take good care of Xinxin and ask for help when needed. You can call me any time, okay?”

“Okay.”

He glanced at Gao Yang and Gao Xinxin. “The altar will be taken down, and the funeral service is waiting for their final payment. I’ll take care of it. Don’t stay here too long. We’ll go through the white envelopes and the expenses this afternoon.”

“Alright.”

His uncle left. Gao Yang and Gao Xinxin remained on their knees, staring blankly at the mound that had just been created with freshly-dug soil.

Their parents were gone. It all felt surreal, not even like a nightmare, but an absurd joke.

After some time, Gao Xinxin spoke up in a distant tone, “Brother, do you think that our family will finally reunite if we die too?”

“...Gao Xinxin!” Gao Yang pointed at the mound. “How could you say that before Mom and Dad? Do you want them to hold regrets even in death?”

Gao Xinxin’s eyes turned red, her voice shaking. “But, but it’s so hard...”

Gao Yang softened his voice. “You must be okay, Xinxin, you hear me?”

“You too, Brother. I only have you.” Gao Xinxin broke into tears again.

“Yeah, we have to live well, the both of us. As long as we remember Mom, Dad, Granny, and Grandpa, they haven’t actually left.”

“Right.”

Gao Yang pulled Gao Xinxin into his arms, hiding his face from her.

Deactivate Psychic Armor.

Gao Yang closed his eyes and clenched his fists.

I’ve thought about taking my life, too, Xinxin.

But I don’t want you to think the same. You have to be strong, you have to move on, you have to be happy.

Don’t ever submit to fate.

...

The siblings knelt before their parents’ burial mounds for a long time. Then they visited their grandparents’ tombs to kowtow to them. Only after that did they go down the mountain.

After lunch, Gao Yang and his uncle took care of the rest of the matters before going back to the city with Gao Xinxin.

At three o’clock in the afternoon, Gao Yang took Gao Xinxin to school.

She was dispirited and wanted to take a few more days of leave, but Gao Yang didn’t let her.

He knew that he must not leave Gao Xinxin home alone to wallow in her thoughts. He had to give her things to focus on so that she could move on from the heartache as soon as possible.

The autumn afternoon, the two of them sat in the back of the bus as it moved in starts and stops.

Gao Yang considered and reconsidered the matter before saying, “Why don’t you move into the dorm, Xinxin?”

Gao Xinxin had been commuting to school from home, and every day, she went home to sleep at night and went to school for morning self-study early. It was quite tiring. Although it’d been the better option when their parents were home, now that they were gone, and the house was empty and bleak, Gao Yang was worried that his sister would end up getting triggered by the familiar environment when she went home on her own.

He thought that his sister would disagree, but she accepted easily. “Okay.”

It seemed that Gao Xinxin didn’t want to face their home on her own, either.

...

As Gao Xinxin’s custodian, Gao Yang talked to her homeroom teacher, who expressed regrets and condolences for the tragedy that befell their parents and agreed to let Gao Xinxin move into the dorm halfway through the semester.

Gao Yang made the payment and got the everyday necessities before walking Gao Xinxin to her dorm. At the ground floor, Gao Xinxin took the blanket from him and said, “You should head back, Brother. I’m alright.”

Gao Yang nodded. “Call me anytime if something happens.”

“Okay.”

“If you’ve got holidays coming up, tell me in advance. I’ll come pick you up.”

“Okay.”

“It’s getting cold. Dress warmer.”

“I know.”

“The food at the cafeteria won’t be as tasty as the food at home, but you shouldn’t be picky. You’re in your growing phase. I’ll send you food later, too.”

“I won’t.”

“You may clash with your roommates. Don’t start trouble but don’t be afraid of confrontation, either. If anyone hurts you, tell me...”

“Brother,” Gao Xinxin interrupted him. “You’re nagging.”

Gao Yang paused. Since when did he nag so much?

He put on a bright look and a smile, patting his sister on the shoulder. “Alright, you should go to your room.”

“Yeah.” Gao Xinxin nodded, going upstairs with her belongings.

...

Gao Yang left the Fifteenth High School and went home. Deep into the autumn, the day wasn’t long, and the sun was already setting at five. He pushed the door open. The living room was empty, the curtains drawn and blocking the setting sun from shining in. Still, a red glow seeped in and rimmed everything in the living room.

Gao Yang changed into slippers and entered the entryway. On the dining table were unfinished buns and half a glass of soy milk. The buns were spoiled, and the soy milk curdled.

Gao Yang could imagine the night on the eleventh, his parents, knowing that they wouldn’t be coming back, prepared breakfast for Gao Xinxin beforehand so that she would have something to eat the next morning.

When Gao Xinxin woke up the early morning of the twelfth, she rushed to the kitchen and grabbed the already heated breakfast, having two bites before heading out.

She never imagined that her parents were gone already.

She must have thought that Mom had headed to the market to buy groceries, and Dad was sleeping in. She would’ve closed the door gingerly in case she woke him up.

Gao Yang stopped himself. It was a bad habit of his to overthink everything. He should change it.

He turned to the door to his parents’ bedroom. After a minute of struggle, he opened the door and entered.

The old double bed was sandwiched by two nightstands. On the one on the left were a small mirror, a few bottles and cans of skin care products, a few rubber bands, and a light pink doll of the moon bunny. It was the first doll Gao Xinxin ever got from a claw machine, and she gifted it to Mom.

On the nightstand on the right were a couple finance magazines and books for the ways to success, a multipurpose flashlight, a thermos, and a name brand watch that had seen many years. Dad had bought it a long time ago in order to do business better.

At the center of the wall behind the bed was an old-fashioned heart-shaped lamp, above which was his parents’ wedding photo—despite not having had a wedding.

Hair slicked back, Dad was dressed in a blue casual suit with a wide frame, while Mom wore a white alice band on her curled hair, a patterned shirt with light colors, and a yellow long dress. Both of them were dressed fashionably for the time.

They stood in a photo studio with a famous landscape painting as the backdrop, smiling a little reservedly, but eyes shining with unbridled joy.

Placed near the wall on the left was a red oak closet. A coat stand stood in the corner, displaying Mom’s hats and coats, as well as the birthday gift she had gotten not long ago—the woolen scarf.

Memories rushed up to Gao Yang’s mind, breaking through his mental barrier again.

Gao Yang activated Psychic Armor, quickly walking up to part the curtains and open the window. Crimson sunlight poured into the room—Mom had always liked bathing in the sunlight and airing the room by opening the window.

Gao Yang walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

He felt a little lightheaded. Only then did he realize that he hadn’t eaten anything the whole day. He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. There were eggs, milk, some produce, and sauces inside.

Gao Yang took out eggs, spring onions, and some cabbages to make noodles for himself.

After he was done cooking, he took out the glass bottle of pickled mustard greens and put a spoonful into the bowl. Then he sat down at the dining table and took two large bites.

He chewed and chewed, but couldn’t swallow it.

The ingredients were the same, the method was the same, the condiments were the same, but why did his cooking taste different?

Hum. He heard familiar voices in his head.

”Hm, so good! Not even the most luxurious meals made of the most expensive ingredients could compare to noodles made by my dear wife!”

”Shut it and eat. You don’t have to prove to us that you can speak.”

Gao Yang’s head jerked up. There was no one else around the table. The only thing he could see was the elongated shadow he cast on the wall.