The Chimeric Ascension of Lyudmila Springfield

Intermission – Shiku – Heartbreaking Realization – Part Two

The inn was lacking in multiple ways. They only served half a portion of breakfast as the only meal—we declined since we had already eaten—and our shared room had no beds.      

It was lovely all the same. The elderly proprietors were charming and nice. They let us stay for free since we were here on business. Sir Salim didn’t like that. He paid triple the regular fee and promised to help however he could.    

We immediately set off to work. Benedict went to the river with Renata and scouted, and I departed to the fields to start an investigation. Sir Salim crossed the river and scouted the monsters, and we didn’t return until night had arrived. After a thin dinner of bread and porridge, we gathered in our room and shared what we learned.     

“The water seemed fine,” said Benedict softly as he rubbed Renata’s hand. She was asleep, with her head leaning against his broad shoulder. “Renata would know more than me, but the river didn’t seem... 'agitated.’ It’s also potable. I saw a few villagers filling buckets. She finally said something, though. She wandered into the river and floated on her back. She just... She looked so peaceful, just staring at the sky... And then Renata cried and apologized to everyone in a low whisper. I hope she’ll be better tomorrow. Maybe my prayers will be answered in the morning.”    

“I hope so too,” I said, moving onto my report. “I’m not a gardener or farmer, but the soil seemed fine. Maybe it's a bit oversaturated. It rained for an hour or two, and the droplets didn’t hurt, either. I’m wondering if it’s a PH issue.”    

“PH?” asked Sir Salim.     

“It’s a scale to measure acidity. Regular drinking water is a 7—right in the middle.  Plants need between a 5 and 6. I saw a few kids catch rain in their mouths.”    

“Did you try it?” asked Benedict.    

“I did. And it’s like you said. The water didn’t have a funny taste.”  Laika and Leika were using my lap as a pillow. I rubbed their heads and scratched their ears. During my investigation, they never left my side for a moment.    

“Is mana the problem? I heard too much can have negative effects.”    

Sir Salim took Benedict’s suggestion and used [Mana Perception]. He looked out the window with a magic circle covering his right eye.      

“That could be it,” he said. "The rain clouds are oversaturated with magical molecules. And the soil's glimmering like twinkling starlight. The monsters near the dungeon were aggressive. More so than usual.”     

"Did you discover anything strange?" I asked.     

"Nothing out of the ordinary, but I didn't venture too deep. Don't worry. I didn't waste the ones I killed. I gave them to the butchers."    

“If this was that easy to figure out, why hadn’t Lord Geron done so?” asked Benedict.      

“The elder didn’t seem to care when we told him of the war. Lord Geron didn’t try recruiting men from the village, so maybe he’s given up on it? We can’t really ask him,” I replied. “[Mana Perception] is difficult to learn. I wonder if you need it at a certain level?”     

“Your hypothesis is correct,” Sir Salim replied. He brushed his thick beard, used a lower-level version of the skill, and confirmed nothing strange.  He returned to the maxed version and gazed, brainstorming whatever came to his mind. "The dungeon may emit mana into the atmosphere during the spring and summer. I see a steady glow across the river, but I don’t think it’s our culprit. The village has survived thus far without many issues, so it may not be a bad omen. Rather, it may not be our culprit."    

“We can’t leave it like this.”     

“I agree, Shiku. Let us convene with the elder in the morning. Of course, the problem may lie in the weather.”     

“You mean cloud patterns?”     

Sir Salim nodded.    

"The problem's source could be hundreds of miles away. We lack concrete information to solve the mystery, so we still have work to do."    

“I have a question.” We looked at Benedict. “If the rain is oversaturated with mana, and we drank it, are we in trouble? We’re Soul Warriors, so I’d assume not. However, the villagers are just villagers. They don’t have the same innate resistances we do.”    

“You’re correct. Mana can be infused in anything, and the elements are no exception. But mana is all around us. It’s in the air we breathe, and it’s in the water we drink. It’s in the food we consume, too. That deepens the mystery. It’s a paradox. If the rain is responsible, the village should not exist. Yet it does, so the rain can’t be the problem. In that regard, what else could it be?” Sir Salim spoke like a philosopher. “We are missing something. The answer could be clear. Or it could be clasped in a hazy fog. I suggest we get ready for bed. Tomorrow may be long.”    

“Okay,” I replied. The lack of beds didn’t discomfort me. I was used to sleeping on the floor or against a wall, so I took the latter and let my maids rest peacefully on my lap.     

I closed my eyes, and darkness soon followed...    

---

Morning arrived and brought an answered prayer. We were gathered around a table Sir Salim retrieved from a storage skill.    

“It was so dark,” Renata said, whispering. She held her wrist to stop it from trembling. “I didn’t want to leave. I mean, how could I? Here... The outside is scary. I don’t like it. I wished I could just run away from it all. If I stopped focusing... The crimson returns. The heat arrives. I had to... It’s hard to explain. I had to focus on being alone. Inside? I knew I was choosing a dead fantasy over a harmful reality. Even so? I didn’t want to leave.” Her mind moved a thousand miles a second. She wasn’t logical in her recollection, but no one could blame her.     

The important thing is that she’s here.    

“I guess things changed when I ate your food, Sir Salim. I felt warmth in my stomach. It didn’t make the crimson and heat disappear, but it...made me feel better. Then the azure came. I think it was when Benny took me to the river. Suddenly, the darkness I’d come to cherish turned frigid. Water filled everywhere, and I wasn’t scared when it enveloped me. I felt...free? I don’t know if that’s the right word, but I love the water. I love to fish. I love everything about the ocean.”    

Renata paused to collect her thoughts before continuing.      

“I can’t explain why— I just do. And... I swam to the surface. Not to escape what I love. I used it to help me return to the real world. I can’t keep running away, can I? I know...what happened. I know what I did. I can’t take it away. I can say it was an accident until the end of my life, but I’m still responsible because I’m at fault for letting that magic get out of control. Sir Salim? Thank you for knocking me out. You saved our lives. I’m sorry. I’m a coward. Really, I am. I just wanted to run away, and--”      

“Do not apologize,” Sir Salim said, cutting her off. “You have done nothing wrong.” Renata softly smiled at our team leader. “It is a joy to see you smile once again.”    

“Thank you. It’s… It’s good to be back. Umm… What…all did I miss?”    

“Well…” I began, summarizing the past few weeks.     

“I…” Renata looked away and bit her lips. She squinched her nose and shook her head. “I’m sorry you had to do my missions for me, Shiku. I’ll repay you. I don’t know how, but I will. Laika… Leika… That’s awful.” She slid closer and carefully rubbed their heads—they were still asleep on my lap.  “It’s probably the same with them,” whispered Renata. “I don’t know for sure, but they’re trapped. And they don’t want to wake up. It’s like two different personalities are there. The one they have, and one created to handle the trauma. I want to help them.”    

“Then can I ask a favor?” The spearfisher nodded. “Can you look after them? Sir Salim, I think I want to travel to the land bridge. You leapt across the lake yesterday, so I’ll go the long way to verify the monsters’ aggro range.”    

“That’s a good idea,” said Sir Salim. Renata’s stomach growled. “Let’s discuss our plans during breakfast.”     

I’d been smelling something delicious for a while. Gently, I awoke my maids. They slowly blinked at Renata before turning to me. “Are you hungry? It’s time to eat.”    

Together, we descended to the lobby and saw the innkeepers had prepared food on a table in the dining hall. The inn was small—much like the rest of the houses. “It’s thanks to your hunting, my lord,” said the elderly man. “Please, enjoy it.”      

The horn croc filets were crispy and tender. The flavor wasn’t anything exotic—just salt and pepper since other seasonings weren’t readily available in the remote parts of this world—but it was baked with care. It was the same with glass. Only a few houses here had windows. The others had curtains or a blanket over a hole.     

“Thank you. It looks incredible.” We ate after Sir Salim said his prayer.     

“If the famine makes it harder to grow produce. And the monsters are too tough to kill… Why not turn to the river for food?”    

“I can answer that, lassie,” said the village elder, who walked in. “You’re not the first to suggest that. And you won’t be the last. Animals have levels. That includes fish. I’m afraid they’re too strong to be reeled in by our kinfolk. We’re surrounded by the strong with no way to level up outside of leaving the village. Aronza’s been good to us. We’re almost solitary, I suppose. We don’t leave without a good reason. And sometimes, even that ain’t good enough.”    

“The fish’s average level is 30. Even the smallest is five feet long,” said Sir Salim. “I used wind magic to blow a few out of the river yesterday, and not one weighed less than seventy pounds.”    

“Seventy, ye say? That’s about twenty pounds heavier than our last attempt. They must be feeding good,” added the elder. “Fishing implies they’re alive. Maybe it’s one thing if they’re dead, so explain how we are supposed to do that.”     

“I would say spearfishing. That's my specialty, Mr. Elder. That’s not enough if the thrower cannot accurately track their prey… So what about fish traps? We can spread them across the river. They’d be constructed so the fish could enter, and the gate behind them would close. It’ll trap them.”  

“Sorry. I can’t approve.” The elder vetoed the idea. “What if a monster uses it as a bridge? We can’t have a repeat of that incident.”    

“I can stand guard. I can… Ah, that’s it. Benny, you think you can make something?” Renata retrieved a notebook and pen and drew a design. “It’ll span 1/3rd the river. It’s shaped like a semi-circle. These flaps can be pushed in, and these latches prevent the fish from leaving.  I remember seeing a tree, so we can use that to make a pulley.”    

“I sense your hesitation, elder,” said Sir Salim. “I shall stand guard as well. I promise on my wife and child that no monster shall cross over.”    

“Well… I’ve seen your strength. And you have the face of an honest man, my lord… Aye, very well. We’ll do it your way. And if it works, forgive me for my hesitation, girlie. We aren’t used to changes. Our status quo is what we know, and we thrive on it. Aronza Village hardly gets anyone new every once in a blue moon.”    

“Speaking of the blue moon, elder. I know that’s a common saying…” Sir Salim segued into his concerns about the dungeon and oversaturated clouds, along with the soil harboring far more mana than it should have.    

“The dungeon? We’ve always thought it was possible. We and the village lack the means to investigate. The clouds, though? I can’t recall anyone considering it. Then again, I’m far from the first elder.”    

“Do you have any historians? Any written records of past elders that may have noticed something?”    

“Aye, we have a few older than me that’s still kicking around. Can’t say their minds are all there, but you can speak to em’ if you want. Maybe you can make sense of their ramblings.”  

“Thank you.”    

“Aye, your thanks are wasted on me, my lord. I won’t interrupt your breakfast any more than necessary. I’ll be waiting at my house.” The elder bid us farewell and left, and we returned to our food.     

“Seems like we have our tasks,” said Benedict.     

“We do. Shiku, travel along the river to the land bridge. Pinpoint the range if there is one. Benedict, I have metal you can use to create the fish trap.”    

“It’s been a while since I had to craft. Let’s hope my muscles are up for it.”    

“Laika, I’m sorry. You and your sister can’t come with me.”    

My maids’ eyes widened like I’d just told them to drop dead. Leika hyperventilated and grabbed her heart. Sweat profusely drenched her shivering face.     

“This isn’t abandonment. I promise I’ll never leave you. Renata will spend time with you while I help the village, okay?” I took their hands and held them to my heart. I didn’t know why that calmed them, but it did.     

Maybe it’s physical touch in general?    

“So, can you two be strong for me? I promise you can sleep on my lap tonight.” Laika looked at her sister. They didn’t nod. Instead, they held each other’s hands and relied on their sisterly bond for support.      

We finished breakfast and prepared to leave. I kissed my maids on the forehead and hugged them before heading out the door.     

I really cared for them. They were so important to me in a thousand ways. I didn’t have many links to this world—I hated this damned reality—but Laika and Leika? I’d never betray them or their trust in me. And come hell or hot water? I’d ensure they’d recover from this.      

---

I didn’t fight any monsters while walking along the river. The land bridge was aptly named, and the beasts I saw across it stared me down. They never attempted to crossover. I doubt they were afraid of me because their eyes were feverish--like they were in a berserk-like state—something I confirmed after focusing on their names.  

The horn croc was Lv. 56. That red-eyed rhino with four horns was Lv. 67. 

Why didn’t they run across the bridge?   

Could it have been the rain? It was still a heavy downpour. The thick drops battered my umbrella like a man bashing his fists against a wall even though it was drizzling when I left.    

If the rain antagonized the monsters, then it did the same for the fish, right? They swam through the river, and I confirmed seeing the berserk status effect. Fish couldn’t survive on land. The bridge was a natural way for the monsters to cross.    

Yet...they didn’t. They were hesitating.    

Why?   

The answer could lie in the dungeon. Or it could’ve been somewhere else, and the rain clouds merely transferred whatever was at work from far away.    

We knew it worked in a cycle—that was it. The specifics were still a mystery.    

I walked past the bridge for another hour before turning back. It was midday by then, and I readied my weapon. A fight wasn’t in the plan. It was a precaution as I picked up a few rocks.   

“Huph!” I drew back my arm and launched them to the still-waiting monsters…and nothing happened. Four smacked the horn croc in the face, but the beast shrugged it off. I knew about redirected aggression and thought the theory would apply here. If I pissed them off, and they couldn’t release their anger on me, would they attack each other?  

Well, the answer was no. Ten more tosses later…and nothing.   

Even the most well-trained animals only needed to forget their training for a second and allow natural instinct to take over. I’ve seen it happen a few times in my world. This felt different. It was…artificial? The monsters almost felt compelled to ignore each other, but the elder said the monsters warred amongst themselves. That was how they got meat for the famine season.   

“So… Why aren’t you killing each other? Is it me? You’re…what, so focused on mauling me that you forget about each other?” I asked aloud to myself. I crouched and tried to make sense of this phenomenon, yet nothing came to mind.   

The answer was probably in the dungeon, so we’d have to head there to solve this issue.   

“This info’s good enough. We can work with it…”   

I might as well return to the village. It’ll be dusk when I’ll arrive.   

---

As I calculated, it was a cool dusk when I saw the village’s outline on the horizon. I picked up the pace and ran the rest of the way until sensing something was off… Where were the guards? Even a place like this had ‘warriors’ stationed at the entrance and exit-- if only to give them something to do.   

Things were odd, but I didn’t sense danger. I walked through the empty roads until I overheard…cheering? Or was it the sound of a group in awe? I turned to the right and ran to the riverbank.   

“Do it again, girlie!” I didn’t know who spoke. I jumped on a cart and looked over the crowd, eventually spotting Renata. She stood on a dock that wasn’t there before today. She raised her arms and manifested a glowing harpoon. Renata aimed, focused, and threw it like a rocket, piercing a fat tuna-like fish as it jumped from the water.    

The weapon returned to her hands, prey attached, and she jumped for joy while the onlookers were amazed.    

I walked over, and Renata turned to me. “Shiku! Shiku! Guess what?! It’s my Soul Weapon!” She proudly showed it off and bouncer in place. Laika and Leika were watching with neutral expressions, and they ran to my side after Renata called my name. They buried their faces in my chest and wrapped their arms around me, refusing to let me go.    

“That’s amazing,” I said, rubbing their heads. “I’m happy for you. What’s with the dock? Who built it?”  

“That’s what I wanted to show you. Come on, follow me!” She ran off, and I followed her to another group of villagers. “Excuse me? Can you make a path?”   

“Eh? Ah, sorry about that, Harpoon Missy. It ain’t like we see the work of a mastersmith every day,” said a man with one eye. “Oi! Give the lad some space, yeah? His friend is back!” The gathered crowd parted, and I saw Benedict. He... 

“Is that...?”  

“Yep. It is,” he replied, holding a hammer. He looked up and removed his safety helmet, and I’d never seen a brighter smile on his face. The tools surrounding his workshop were crude iron. He was tinkering with what looked like a gun with a reel. “This is my Soul Weapon. I don’t know how to explain it. It just came to me after I made that fish trap. Ah, look, Shiku!” He held his invention and clicked a button. Suddenly, the nearby spool of wire wound around the base, and the tip was a sharp, glimmering point that reflected the bright moonlight.   

“You’re here just in time to test it out. This is the fourth version. The previous ones… They weren't that good. But this? I have faith in this one!” He vaulted over his workshop. It vanished and returned to his soul. If it worked like Sir Salim, then he could summon it anywhere. And recreating it, if destroyed, was possible, too.  

We followed him to the dock he’d constructed. Benedict took aim and pulled the trigger, piercing a fat fish through the stomach. The crowd was marveled. It thrashed wildly and was still writhing when he pressed the button to reel it in.   

That got the onlookers cheering.    

He handed it to Renata, who mercy killed it. “That’s a harpoon gun. Anyone, big or small, tall or weak, can fish with it. There’s no level requirement. The difficult part is aiming, but that can be taught or mitigated if I had a sight,” said Benedict. “You don’t have to lose to a fish. The gun can reel in 200 lbs without breaking. So…” Benedict smiled and looked positively delighted. “The river’s home to a ton of fish. You don’t need to risk starvation once the rainy season hits. The annual famine? It can be sidestepped. If it’s still too daunting, I can add a support stake to keep it steady.”  

“Could you teach me how to use that, laddie?”  

“Oi, I’d like to try.”  

“Me too. It seems fun. And I’m tired of going to bed hungry. I hate this time of year.”  

“Alright. Alright, break it up now,” said the elder. He hobbled to the group’s front. “All this excitement and hoopla can wait til tomorrow, can’t it? It’s late. I’m sure our esteemed guests are tired from today’s stress. Aye, what do you say, lad and lass? Are ye willing to teach these old dogs a few new tricks?”  

Benedict and Renata nodded and smiled. “Definitely. Anyone who wants to learn can meet us here tomorrow morning.” She walked to the dock and grabbed a rope. Renata followed it to a nearby tree and started pulling. She struggled until Benedict and I assisted. The semi-circle fish cages Benedict had constructed came to the shore.   

There must’ve been at least 30 fish. One could feed a family for a few days. And this was one haul with only a few cages. 

“See? The trap worked!” Renata bounced on her heels. I hadn’t seen her this excited or happy in…I couldn’t remember. Maybe ever? Especially not since coming to this awful world. “Hmm… Benny, do you think we—”  

“—can make a machine to automatically pull it in? Yeah. I was thinking that. It'll take a day or two to get it down. I’m still testing the extent of my Soul Weapon. Guess I should call it my Soul Workshop, huh? I thought it would be a hammer.”  

“I did, too. Again, congratulations, you two. That’s amazing,” I said. “Is Sir Salim at the inn?”  

“Yes. He’s looking over notes he got from the historians. Are you heading there?”   

I nodded. “What about you two?”  

“I…think I want to sleep outside tonight. Next to the dock, I mean. I want to drift off to the river. And Benny? Do you want to join me?”  

“I do.” He slowly intertwined his fingers in hers. We watched as the butchers grabbed the cages and dragged them away. The crowd followed, and I returned to the inn with my maids.   

The streets were filled with excitement. The villagers weren’t heading to bed early—not when fresh fish was on the menu. A late dinner never hurt. And after we solved this mystery and departed Aronza Village?  

I hoped… I really, truly hoped the village would improve.  

Poverty sucked. Hunger pangs felt atrocious. No one—no man, woman, or child should ever have to go to sleep hungry. This world was awful and cruel. Maybe we could shine a light of hope? Helping others?  

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” I whispered, reciting the golden rule. I wasn’t religious—far from it—especially after being summoned here.   

I helped throw Shuuta into the void. Isn’t that the fate awaiting me? No amount of good deeds can make up for that. I can try, but it’ll never be enough.   

---

“I take it you’ve been by the newly added dock?” asked Sir Salim as I entered our room. His spear’s tip held a flickering flame that softly illuminated his surroundings.   

“Yes. Seems I’m the straggler, huh? I’m the only one without a Soul Weapon.”  

“Does that discomfort you?”  

“No. I thought it would,” I said, sitting at the table. Laika and Leika rested their heads on my shoulders. “But I’m not dismayed or disheartened.”  

“The poison of envy doesn’t taint your blood?”  

“No. Not really. I’m happy. I really am. When I see how much Renata’s smiling? Or how confident Benedict looks? I don’t think I can be jealous even if I tried. But maybe that says something else about me. Something I’d rather not get into.”  

“Mm… I sense uncertainty. But that’s fine. What have you learned?”  

“The land bridge almost reminds me of an invisible fence. The monsters I saw wouldn’t cross. I tried to tempt them with rocks, but they only stared.”  

“Did you see their eyes?”  

“I did. They were red. Why can’t they cross? If the land bridge is a fence, then it must be the end. The village should be well within it. They’re strong enough to wade through the river, so why do they need a bridge? Could there be something in the water?”  

“That’s possible, but it can’t be poisonous. This village would have long been extinct if the water was harmful.”  

“How did your meeting go?”  

“Sadly, it bore no fruit,” replied Sir Salim. He looked out the window and sighed. “The only solution is to delve into the dungeon and discover what secret, if any, it holds. I’m certain it has been conquered in the past, but I did not find any records within the writings given to me.”  

“When are we leaving?”  

“Within the week. We cannot know what we will find, so preparations must be made. But it shall be us. Renata and Benedict shall remain here and help the village. That extends, of course, to Laika and Leika.”  

“Renata’s Soul Weapon boosts her damage against aquatic monsters, but she’s not cut out for fighting,” I admitted. Laika and Leika shuddered. They weren’t well enough to do much of anything. Their reaction almost felt like it came from their subconsciousness. They heard something about me leaving and reacted appropriately.   

If Renata’s right, my maids are trapped in their minds. They don’t want to confront reality. It’s like they’re on autopilot or something. Can I free them? What can I do?  

“Where are you going?” Sir Salim stood and retrieved his spear.   

“To the dock. I’ll tell those two about our plan. Stay here and get some rest.” He gestured to the two sisters. “Talk with them again. Let your words be the guiding flame they’re desperately seeking. I have a busy schedule, so I won’t return before morning. Renata and Benedict have much to discuss with the other, so use this time however you feel it is necessary, my friend.”  

Sir Salim smiled. The door quietly closed when he left, and I was alone.   

No.   

Not alone.   

I’d never be alone. Not when I was surrounded by the ones I cherished. I sighed and laid down. Laika and Leika followed and used my shoulders as pillows. Those gorgeous, slightly dim eyes looked upon me. A faint smile crept across their lips.   

“It was a night like this after the incident. I felt something shake the bed, and you two were straddling my legs in your nightgowns. I don’t know if what we did was a mistake. You weren’t in the right state of mind. But… I guess that says a lot about me, right? I…didn’t try to stop you. Or if I did, it wasn’t much. Maybe if this was a fairy tale, what we experienced would’ve been enough to wake you. Maybe that’s what I secretly hoped.”  

“…”  

“…”  

The two remained silent, and a piece of hope buried in my heart perished with it.   

“I didn’t fight back. Maybe I wanted to make love with you two. Meruria suggested it when we met. And I’m a guy. Even if I liked girly outfits and…dressing pretty, I have urges. I couldn’t deny them that night. And I still think about it.” Even now? The events replayed like a movie. I still remember the thumping in my chest. My heart had beat out of control when they held my hands to their cheeks. Or when they slowly undressed. Or when they wanted me to touch them all over as they rubbed their wettest spot against my thighs.    

And when they stripped and used their tongues to lick me…  

And the weight I felt when Laika straddled me, making me experience a blissful warmth I’d never experienced before. Or how Leika shuddered slightly when Laika helped her gyrate her hips when it was her turn.   

I wasn’t the biggest. I knew I was smaller than average—everything about my body screamed ‘petite.’  

We weren’t faking our feelings. Those expressions and noises couldn’t be fabricated.    

Objectively? It was a mistake. Yet I never wanted to consider it one.    

I didn’t pull out. I don’t know the chances, but what if they’re pregnant? Do I even deserve to be a father?  

Before I knew it…  

I was crying.   

My sight was blurry because all I could think about was him.   

Does it even matter what I feel? When he felt worse? When he had more to fear? When he faced the end? And I was a part of his demise?  

“Damn it…” I cursed and tried to bite my lips—it didn’t matter the source, I just wanted to feel…  

Something.  

Pain, I guess. Pain that he probably felt.   

It didn’t hurt because I couldn't bite myself. Instead, my lips were occupied by Leika’s love. And then Laika gave me a kiss. They propped themselves up and grabbed my hands, then held them to their heart.   

The two cried with me.   

“I’m sorry I’m feeling so pathetic when you two need me. More than… No, I won’t finish that. We’re about to make a mistake. Is it one? Can it be one when it feels so right?” I couldn’t ignore the pressure between my legs. My body desired this. And my heart fell to the whims of my growing lust and a faint hope that no longer sparkled.    

Slowly, Laika and Leika moved my hands to their breasts as I leaned up. We kissed passionately until we yearned for oxygen, but our flames burned bright. Air was second nature when I wanted nothing more than to hold their bodies against me…  

Miracles don’t exist. If they do. Please… Please let this be one.