The Chimeric Ascension of Lyudmila Springfield

Chapter Thirty-One: The Noelia Carpenter Story (R-18) – Part One

When I arrived in Ria, the Dusty Bowl did not exist. It pretty much sprang up overnight. The rustic atmosphere and swinging doors looked like they were plucked from an old western saloon. It would be right at home as a place where gunslingers would drink their worries away at night. I was almost expecting some gun-toting cowboy to stomp in and challenge someone to a duel at high noon. It was awfully smoky, though, like walking through fog machines.  

Cigars and cigarettes are everywhere. 

Sekh, Tilde, and I were at an empty booth a few feet away from the bar counter.  One person sat there, and we did not want to get involved with her because I had plans to eventually kill her.  

Noelia Carpenter slammed a tankard of booze down and shouted for another one. The barkeep was a Goatfolk. It almost looked like he wanted to ram those horns up her annoying ass.  

Those horns look cool. 

When he brought another mug filled with a brown liquid to that bitch, an elf barmaid with a tiny skirt and low-cut top walked over. I ordered honey ale for Sekh and me, with Tilde sharing mine.  

“Master, it is with great regret that I must inform you of this. Due to your circumstances, you will never know what it is like to wake up naked in a drunken haze while wondering who the hell you fucked last night.” Tilde whimpered and rubbed her arm across her forehead. It honestly looked like she was about to cry. 

“That’s a good thing! How many times has that happened to you?”  

I suppose she’s talking about [Poison Resistance]. Alcohol is technically a poison. But there’s an [Alcohol Resistance] skill as well. I can probably still get drunk, but it’ll take a while. 

“Eh, enough until it became something like a yearly tradition. Seriously, don’t kink shame. I did it to trap this one cute fairy into becoming my manservant for a decade. Oh, he was a foolish man but a gentle lover. The things he did with his hands... Oh, Master, you could learn a thing or three from him.” Tilde crossed her arms and put a palm to her cheek, looking up as if she was daydreaming.  

I just sighed and casually chatted with Sekh until the barmaid returned with our cups. I paid her 20 copper and took a sip after correcting Tilde that I could still get drunk if I went too hard. The honey was a soft fruitiness that only complimented the earthly, almost grassy bitterness that lingered on the tongue. It was smooth going down my throat, and I was a fan of my first alcoholic drink. Tilde drank through a fairy-sized straw the barmaid had brought. 

“It’s delicious, Master. Thank you,” Sekh said, smiling. “I don’t remember the last time I drank for fun… It’s been so long.” Her eyes were listlessly focusing on the past, but I didn’t know which life she reminisced about.  

I hope it’s a good memory.  

“Damn, it’s been a hot minute since I had anything this good. Oh, just know that I had class. I was the fairy the other girls wanted to be. I’m not a common whore.” 

“Uh-huh. If you say so,” I replied, lifting the cup to my lips. In seconds, I found myself smiling, genuinely enjoying this rustic atmosphere filled with so much character. It didn’t take long for Noelia to act out. She slammed her fists down and demanded someone to start playing the guitar.  

That got me thinking, and I asked Sekh about musical instruments. She and Tilde told me this world had pianos, violins, and other acoustic instruments. Music then became the topic of discussion as a broad, tall monster of a Bullfolk took off to the stage in the corner and picked up the nearby acoustic guitar.  

“I don’t have a favorite genre,” I said as he started to tune the guitar. When he was satisfied, he began to play something that was right at home in an old-timey western.  

“Not a fan of rap? Or R&B? What about that ‘Wu-Tang’ thingie I saw in your memories? They seemed cool.” 

“Where’d you see that at? They were long dead before I was born, I think.” 

“Umm… I think the news was playing on TV. ‘Wu-Tang’ just sounded so cool it became stuck in my mind,” Tilde replied. She took her straw and placed it in Sekh’s mug. Sekh picked the fairy up and gently tossed her away. “Come on! You don’t need any more alcohol to go to your tits!!!” she whined when her wings stabilized her.  

“This is mine,” Sekh calmly replied and placed both arms on the table, her mug behind them. She glanced at my face, and a cute blush warmed her cheeks. She asked if she could have another one, and I didn’t mind. I pointed to a walking barmaid and ordered four more mugs, but before I finished… 

“Bitch? Hahahaha! You got more balls than anyone here. That’s good. I was beginning to think this place was full of pussies. Hey, check this out!” Suddenly, Noelia started sprouting some bullshit, and everyone looked confused because she was talking to herself. Even the Bullfolk stopped playing, his beautiful, rustic tune with a twangy charm coming to an immediate halt.  

The deranged Soul Warrior turned around and threw her cup as hard as she could, hitting a Cowfolk in the head, breaking four teeth. Her male companion drew his sword, but that was all he did. “Make one goddamn move, and I’ll have Lord Gloria tear you a new asshole. You don’t want to hurt her precious Soul Warrior, do you?” she asked as two lightly armored men walked out of the shadow.   

One had the beastly face of a tiger, and the other had the head of an alligator. Ah, that’s right. Some Beastfolk lean towards their bestial side with more pronounced animal-like traits. I wonder if that’s the reason behind Sekh’s fur being so fluffy and soft? Other Lionfolk doesn't seem to have as much as her. 

A quick use of [Analysis] revealed they had the title [Soul Warrior's Attendant]. They were Lv. 14, twice that of Noelia, but they didn’t seem to have that many combat skills. It was almost like they were attendants first and guards second, so maybe taking care of Noelia was their primary job? 

“Hahahahaha! See? They’re too fucking afraid. In Texas, you had to fight your own battles without relying on your mama and daddy. I guess you just don’t have any balls. The men around here are so pathetic that they can’t even hang with a real woman. Hey! ANOTHER ROUND! Hurry up, you goat fucker!” 

Texas? She’s from the United States. But which world? The one I came from? 

“Huh… The crazy bitch’s a wild one, huh?” Tilde asked. She flew to my shoulders. “There ain’t no one there, yet she’s losing it. She’s three sheets to the wind.” 

“Lord Gloria told me fairies were docile and afraid. Shit, if you were back in my world, you’d probably fuck the whole bunkhouse. That’s the kinda ‘class’ you have. Instead of diamonds and pearls, it’s twenty bucks and a bottle of nat light.” 

Did she work on a ranch? Or did she own one? 

Tilde looked at me with utter confusion that I was at a loss for words. It looked like Noelia imagined she was talking to a fairy, yet… 

No one was there.  

“Nope, I took after my daddy and worked the ranch. What about you? You got one dirty mouth on you. Wait… Buckle bunny? You from the Lone Star?” 

A couple of seconds passed by.  

“What? Oh my god! We gotta swap stories. Goat fucker, keep the booze coming and do not fucking stop. You the owner of this fairy?” The Goatfolk bartender just blankly stared. He turned to Noelia’s guards, who shrugged and offered an uncomfortable smile.  

I used my map’s satellite mode to hear what they were saying—or to see if they were talking, and they were. Noelia getting drunk enough to make a fool of herself in this bar, which Gloria had made for her, was something she did very often. It annoyed her attendants, but they were still sworn to protect her with their lives. Going against that would not be a good idea. 

“Then it’s your lucky fucking day. Drink as much as you want on me.” Noelia took out five gold coins and slammed them down when my map returned to normal. When the bartender refused to take the coins, Noelia snatched him by the horns and stated that her money was legal tender for all debts, public or private, within Dirge. Again, he looked to the guards, and once they calmed her, the Goatfolk took the coins and dished out drinks to people that weren’t there.  

I wasn’t planning on witnessing a show with my drinking, but I wasn’t going to complain. Noelia drowned her drinks one after the other. Part of me hoped she would keel over and die from alcohol poisoning, but I knew I wasn’t that lucky. She somehow avoided all damage, but I didn't know if alcohol was considered damage. 

Noelia ranted about ranching and cowboying because she missed her home. Then she opened up, saying she didn’t have a good relationship with her fellow Soul Warriors because the common ground wasn’t there.  

They believed her to be a hillbilly redneck with no class, and she thought they had less backbone than a pair of soiled panties. Noelia apparently bitched at Gloria about not having a place to remind her of home, so that was how the Dusty Bowl came into existence. Before it was built, she stayed at the fanciest inn in Ria. Now? She had a master bedroom on the third floor.  

It was something like that, I think. And I was kinda far away. With the tender, sultry music from the guitarist, the overall general atmosphere, and her accent, it was hard to make it all out.  

As for her life? She was the daughter of a rancher in Texas that pushed cattle and horses. She was a carpenter by trade. The last name and weapon choice made sense. Construction and repair were what she enjoyed, and she often stayed in the bunkhouses she built with the wranglers her father hired. She swore up and down she could rope and ride with the best of men.  

Noelia was all laughs as she downed her 16th mug of ale, replying to something about…whores? “If you want a real whore, head on upstairs. I got a freaky blue bitch with one eye and some nasty scales working for me. Lord Gloria gave her to me to use as I see fit. Since I desire money for my own ranch, I figured she used that ugly body to make those that are uglier feel better about themselves. That bitch'll suck cock and eat pussy if you pay me. Pay more, and she’ll fuck you with that pecker she has. God made men to be men and women to be women. She’s one of those gross half-breed trannies, but money is money, so I turn the other cheek like a good Christian.” 

Like a good Christian? Ugh, that’s disgusting. 

She turned in her chair and looked out at the room, disgust filling her face as Sekh, Tilde, and I avoided her piercing gaze, then turned back. “Seems like everyone in here has fucked her at some point. It kinda reminds me of my mama’s funeral.” 

Noelia went quiet, broke her mug out of frustration, and demanded another one. “Why did I have to come here? I had a boyfriend and family. I had a job I loved. I made good money selling the furniture I built.  I had friends to shoot the shit with on Saturday night that I saw in church the next day. I was surrounded by the things I’ve come to love, and now I’m stranded here? This place ain’t no home for someone like me. It’s boring. I can’t watch football on the TV. There are no trucks or quads. This fucking place sucks.  

“The beer ain’t nothing like how it was back home. I miss my daddy. Hell, if I could look at my mama’s grave one last time. Or if I could ride Blue Thunder around the pastures… Oh, don’t know why I’m saying that cause it ain’t like there are any mustangs here. The best damn horse there ever was or ever will be is left all alone… I don’t have nothing here… You fucking people don’t understand being stolen away from everything you ever have. And why? To fight for some bitch that ‘luckily’ summoned you? It’s all bullshit, you know? There ain’t no luck involved.” 

Somewhere, the atmosphere became heavy and serious. Noelia didn’t have that fake laugh, and she stopped shouting about every little thing. It seemed her true feelings were about to emerge.   

“What if you were teleported from here to the United States? We don’t have magic or leveling. We can’t shoot lighting from a hammer. You’d be surrounded by things you couldn’t understand. Skyscrapers, helicopters, cars, planes, warships, cellular devices, computers, the goddamn internet? And your friends and family? Just say fucking goodbye to all of them. How fucking stupid was I to think this was all just a dream. I’m tired of waking up to see my goddamn name in the corner of my vision. Damn you for summoning me, you fucking bitch... It’s too fucking hot… I want to go back home...” 

After slamming her tankard down, Noelia removed her shirt and went topless. Her perky olive-colored breasts were drenched with the booze that never made it down her throat. She wasn’t naked, though. She had her pants, boots, and arm and knee pads, but she bared her tits to all who wanted to see. 

“Eh, yours are better, Master,” Tilde said, poking my nipples through my clothes. “Got a nicer color on them. Good job, you’re bustier than someone chick from Texas. How’s about getting another round to celebrate?” 

I motioned for the elf barmaid and ordered three more. “I apologize for her behavior, High Blessing. I hope it isn’t too much,” she said, lightly bowing her head and folding her hands over her lap.  

High Blessing? Ah, I’m a High Elf. That’s right. I said it was no big deal, giving her 1 silver as an added tip for putting up with that stupid fucking bitch.  

I could not wait to end her life and take her power.  

Noelia only stopped drinking when her two attendants approached. She looked at them, loudly groaned that the police were here, and poured the remaining contents of her last mug over her body while taunting them to suck the booze from her tits. 

Her brow was so sweaty it was like cement glued her black hair to it. Her eyes drooped and couldn’t open all the way. Her whole body smelled of alcohol. At some point, she took off her pants and panties. I was sure she was drunk. Alcohol affected her, but why? Was the drunkenness passed through to the cyclops? If so, was she drunk? If she was, could there be a limit to how much ‘damage’ she could sponge for Noelia? There were a lot of questions, and I didn’t have many answers. 

“Master, cheers!!!” Sekh said, grabbing her mug when the barmaid returned with the drinks. I thought she would have walked away, but she didn’t. She caught me off guard by asking if I wanted her to service me. Dazed and confused, I went into my map’s satellite mode and scrolled around the upper floors.  

Yep. It was a brothel. Of the 15 rooms I investigated on the 2nd floor, all were used for sex by women who wore the same outfit as the sultry barmaid that gave me a peek.  

“I’m sorry, but I don’t require any servicing,” I replied, finding it uncomfortable that she was literally going to crawl under the table and blow me. 

“As you wish. Should you change your mind, you will find me here.” The elf walked away with a wry smile, shaking her hips while giving me a glimpse at her black panties. She ‘accidentally’ dropped the platter she used to carry drinks and bent right over without bending her knees. She looked back with a warm glance, then continued her way. 

“Eh? If you wanted some elf pussy, you should have said so. They got rooms upstairs, right? Just have her put on a blindfold or put a bucket or bag over her head and go to town.” Tilde teased me, but I couldn’t reply because Sekh rubbed her flushed cheeks against mine. 

“Master, I wuv you!!! Hahaha!!!” she said with cheerful laughter that evolved into a giggling session. “I’m touching you!!! Hahaha!!! Touchy touchy!!! Rubby rubby!!!” 

She was drunk.  

Totally drunk.  

But definitely adorable and cute. What I felt from looking at Sekh was nothing like when I stared at that elf. She wasn’t ugly by any means. I’d go as far as to say she was rather attractive and pretty, but I just couldn’t see myself getting an erection if I wanted to have sex with her. Even if I could, I only wanted to fuck Sekh. 

I massaged her ears, and she was attached to me like glue. When I stopped, she kissed me on the cheek and giggled into my shoulder as if it was the funniest thing in the world. She took another sip, but some of the ale dribbled down her chin. I took the liberty of licking it clean for her while I played with her fluffy tail. 

When I looked back at Noelia, she was passed out on the bar counter with her legs spread wide open. A moment later, she pissed herself, causing a room full of groans to sound out. Those two attendants did their best to cover and clean her, and many patrons left in a hurry. 

Yeah, it was about that time. Sekh, Tilde, and I joined them because smelling urine was the last thing I wanted to do. 

“Have you done that before?” I asked Tilde.  It was 11:33 PM, and we were minutes away from home. The night sky and cool atmosphere were pleasant. I took a deep breath, smelling the salt in the wind since the ocean was right near us. 

“What? Pass out drunk, naked, and piss everywhere? Maybe I have, and maybe I haven’t. A girl's gotta have class. Noelia? Yeah, she doesn’t. Hey, use satellite mode to spy on them.” 

“Class? That's the furthest thing from classy behavior,” I replied, using my map to spy on Noelia. She was up and about, but she actively fought against her handlers’ attempts to wrap her with a towel while the remaining patrons cheered on the show. From how she spoke, it was clear that she missed her life before being summoned. Those thoughts, combined with the outrageous amount of alcohol she drank, were a disastrous combination.  

I relayed what I saw to Tilde, but not after searching for those with the title [Soul Warrior’s Attendant] and marking those four and Noelia with waypoints. I wanted to keep track of them. 

“We gotta kill her, right?” Tilde flew to my shoulders and sat down, her eyes staring at Sekh, who totally relied on me for support. We had our hands around each other as she almost struggled to walk. But she was happy and smiling and giggling, so I didn’t mind it.  

“I wuv you!!! Maaaaasterrrr!!!! Wuv me back!!! Touchy!!! Hahaha, I got your nose!!!!” Sekh drunkenly said, interrupting us. I couldn’t hold in my laughter. Kissing her on the cheek, she started giggling and laughing, then tripped over nothing and clung to me for safety while smiling like the world was about to end.  

“That’s right,” I replied. “I would’ve never guessed a drunk Sekh would act like this.” 

“Better start thinking,” said Tilde. “It isn’t going to be easy. Ole Big Tits sure is funny when she’s shitfaced. A thousand years ago, the curse forced her to fly into a drunken rage whenever she drank. Without the curse? Well, for better or worse, this is what you get.” 

“It’s better. Way, way, way better this way. She’s just so cute and funny. Haha, I wuv you too, Sekh.” 

We walked the rest of the way with idle chatter and returned to the shop, but the door was still unlocked. Ichiha, in her robe, was sitting behind the counter as if she was expecting us. She held a finger to her mouth, locked the door, and whispered for us to quietly come upstairs. Sekh was in a frisky mood, though. After a strong kiss, she became meek and docile, eventually falling asleep in my arms with the prettiest smile. I picked her up and carried my loyal Dark Lord. 

“It took hours,” Ichiha whispered. She pointed at the sight of a daughter resting her sleeping head against her father’s shoulder while sitting on the couch that wasn’t there when I left. Kokan, the massive man he was, looked up with crying eyes and a tender smile. “But Irisa? She finally believes her father. Mila, it’s been years since our family was together. I never thought this would ever happen…” 

“I’m glad for you.” I hugged her the best I could since I held Sekh in my arms, but I left her alone to go to my room. By the time I closed my door, she was still standing there, hand on her robe-covered chest and crying at what she thought was the most beautiful sight in the world.  

I was happy for her—for the three of them, really. It was possible for a family to grow and repair the devastating wounds that tore them apart. 

Like that would ever happen to me.