The Butcher of Gadobhra

Chapter 384: Sneaky Bad Guys, and Sloppy Math

Two travelers made their way from Sedgewick to Rowan Keep. The Knight skipped and hopped down the center of the wide stone road while his Squire insisted on staying in the shade of the closely growing forest on either side, pulling his hood over his head and grumbling about "Too much sky." A pack of bloodthirsty squirrels assemble, following the Squire, intending a quick ambush. As the first dozen assassins leaped silently from the high branches, Squire Squeak was already casting a spell with no less than three Runic formations appearing before him and releasing in a wide-angled blast of pure force. The attacking squirrels were turned into red mist as the blast punched through the forest canopy, bringing down an avalanche of limbs. The Squire leaped to the safety of the road, avoiding burial under the branches. From deeper in the woods, Razortooth Fluffytail had observed the quick battle. He had warned the band of hotheads that all was not as it seemed. Their target didn't smell human and preferred the shadows to the sunlight. The rest of his band nodded at his wisdom when they saw the resulting destruction. The Squire and Knight were put on the "Dangerous Predator-Don't Attack" List, along with the Butcher and many other workers from the village.

The leader of the rogue bands of squirrels sent his warriors down to scavenge what they could from the broken branches. Every nut would be needed to see his people through the long winter that had caught them unprepared. Their loss in the War of the Oaks had driven them out of the forests where their hoards of nuts were hidden, and many of those trees were destroyed as they marched on the town. The System had offered them the benefit of becoming a menace to travelers to replace the bandits that returned to Gadobhra now that their guild was active once again, but the rewards wouldn't help their females, and young survive the starvation of winter. Already, food supplies were scarce. Something drastic would have to be done. But not today. Today, they had acorns to gather from the broken branches. Perhaps tomorrow, Fluffytail would do something drastic.

Unconcerned about the problems of renegade squirrels, the Knight and Squire continued on their way. Arriving at the keep, they saw the immense walls rising from the ground, made of immense blocks of quarried stone. The towers at each point of the star fort were even taller. On each, they could see the outlines of ballistae behind the fortifications. The central keep soared even higher than the towers, with a flat roof where more war machines were stationed. An open gate allowed them to pass inside. Squire Squeak examined the murder holes overhead that could be used to dump hot oil or tar on attackers and the recessed slot in the tower that held the portcullis. Beyond the gate was a small courtyard surrounded by walls and a second gate. Anyone getting past the first gate would be attacked from overhead and all three sides simultaneously. The second gate was open but guarded by four soldiers and a decurion.

"Greetings, travelers. I apologize, but I must ask your business at the keep. These are strange times, and strange things are happening."

The Squire stepped forward. "Strange times, indeed. I am Squire Squeak, servant of the Fae Lord, Sir Larry, Knight of the Jackalope. We are questing and were asked to come here by the Mayor of Sedgewick."

The Knight chimed in. "A nice lady who makes good soup."

The soldiers didn't know what to make of the statement, but the Decurion chuckled and relaxed. "I've eaten the soup at her tavern; it is good. Well, as for quests, we have a few."

He took out a scroll and unrolled it, then spoke loudly:

"By order of Baron William of Gadobhra, the traitorous bandits who steal materials, kill workers, and disrupt the building of Rowan Keep are to be hounded from his lands and killed if possible. For each set of bandit ears brought to the keep, he will pay one silver piece. For every ten sets of bandit's ears, he will pay twenty silver pieces."

"Wild bands of hungry wyverns also beset the keep. For each mature wyvern killed and its body dragged to the keep, the Baron will pay ten silver pieces and less for the small ones."

"Chartok, terrible scourge of the Hollywood, is active again and no farmer's chickens are safe. The System offers rewards as usual for his death, commensurate with his power. Do not underestimate this lupine foe. As he grows stronger, he gains spells of great necromantic power and creates a fearsome pack of undead wolves who do his bidding."

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

He rolled up the scroll. "That's it for today. We've had a lot of players burning through our quests since they're stuck here because of the broken teleporter."

The Squire seemed concerned and interested. "Something is broken? The teleport system. Perhaps I should take a look at it?" The Squire passed the soldiers before anyone could stop him and walked rapidly to the keep's center.

The Knight shook his head sadly. "When Larry's squire has fixed everything, tell him Larry is doing quests." The huge Knight left the keep, looking for the sneaky bad guys who were causing troubDecuriondecurion decided to follow the Squire and keep an eye on him.

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The Squire was standing in the center of the teleport pad, slowly turning in place as he scanned the walls all around him. Several people watched him from the four wide doorways that led to the area, but anyone inside had taken cover. It had only taken him a few seconds in the room to pass judgment on the equations taking up all the walls:

"This is wrong, so very wrong! The underlying theory is unclear, and they haven't stated what System of measurements they are using. I see inches, pinches, foot-yards, and half-buckets being used. The goals are murky; What are they even trying to prove?! There are contradictory statements as if they don't even know the Master Code for this location. Do they not know what an astro-caliper and spyglass are for? And the runes! They are mixing up runic systems!"

He glared at anyone within range. "This is sloppy mathematics!"

He pulled the spanner from his belt and slammed it twice into his other hand for emphasis. "This is now an Engineering work site! Anyone without a current guild badge should clear out now! I'm fixing this!

No one arguDecurionDecurion put a squad at each doorway to keep people away from the crazed Engineer and went to find Centurion Marcus. When they returned, he was already at work. His tabard and Squire's belt were off, and he wore dirty grey coveralls. The broken teleport pad was floating in the air, and he was staring at broken and fused components as if their failure personally offended him. He noticed as the Centurion approached a doorway but carefully didn't cross the threshold. Marching over and staring up at the soldier who was a foot taller than him, the Engineer declared in a clear and serious voice. "Things are broken. I'm fixing them. Math is Sloppy. I'm fixing it. Whoever is responsible for this mess needs to talk to me. I'm unsure if they were trying to create a large mage shield to protect this fortress or a bomb to blow it up. I need to know which of those they want done first."

His gaze wavered as new thoughts came to him. "Although, blowing it all up first would make checking the rune work easier and get the job done quicker...."

Marcus blurted out, "A shield! The plans are for a Hermetic Shield to protect the walls and store mana!"

"Really? From how the equations are laid out, I could have sworn they were trying to make a bomb. Oh well, shield it is. But first, I'm fixing the broken teleporter and then writing out the project description with the correct equations. Keep people out of my way, please; it will reduce casualties. And find me some cheese!" He stalked back to the teleport stone floating in the center of the room and began hammering at the broken components with his spanner until they fell from the array.

Marcus took a deep breath. As eccentric as the man was, he made more sense and seemed more organized than the gaggle of professors who had been scribbling on the walls and arguing for a week. He turned to the messenger behind him. "Go to Sedgewick and confirm that the Mayor sent us an Engineer, then head to the Baron and tell him work is beginning on the last unfinished part of the keep, and I need him and Benjamin down here immediately. I want the guards around the keep doubled tonight, with an extra shift. If our bandit problem is going to happen, they'll be coming tonight."

The messenger raced to find a horse. Outside the keep, in the growing dusk, there was a short scream followed by a loud voice shouting, "Come back! Larry needs more ears for his quests!"