The Bounty Hunter

Chapter 44: Date Night

December 18th, 2088

The day of the Ine bounty has arrived.  Eriloms spies have managed to confirm that he has successfully entered Obsidia, although they could not find his precise location.  A fake date, a yandere wizard and a horny pervert are all that stand between me and 1000 gold coins.  Ive currently shapeshifted to be an elf with blond hair and blue eyes.  I made sure to lower my attractiveness by making my features far more androgynous.  

A racial characteristic of elves is that they are beautiful, so the elves evaluation of attractiveness amongst themselves is somewhat different than other species.  Elves generally are extremely androgynous, with most of the men and women being nearly interchangeable in looks.  So what elves consider attractive is being beautiful with prominent masculinity or femininity. 

Basically the less androgynous you are the more attractive you are as an elf.  Veronica, for example, is considered a beautiful woman even by elvish standards in part because she has prominent feminine curves and large breasts as opposed to the standard flat-chested boyish figure most female elves have.  Hopefully, my highly androgynous features will serve to curb Eriloms enthusiastic one-sided advances.  My build is still rather muscular for an elf, but if I change too much with my shapeshifting itll interfere with my ability to fight. 

Although shapeshifting is incredibly useful, adapting to a new form takes time depending on the extent of the change.  Furthermore, mentally there is a nagging sensation of wrongness for not being in ones true form.  It is like an itch you cant scratch and it gets worse the longer you are shapeshifted and the larger the difference between your original form and the current one.

My usual selection of gear has also been restricted because it would seem far too suspicious if Eriloms boyfriend was in full battle equipment on their date.  So I have been given the limit of no armor and only one light weapon.  I have a sneaking suspicion that the no armor limit was made simply so Erilom can feel me up, but I cant prove it.  Haa, so now I am in a baggy green tunic and brown pants with nothing but an ordinary shortsword at my waist.  It is the classic elf look.  My ninjato and pistols are too unique so I had to choose something else, creating yet another disadvantage I will have to work around.

I was waiting outside the Temple of Adligo for Erilom to come out.  It was evening and the street lights were lit.  Rin was materialized and chose to drape herself on my shoulders.  I plan to pass her off as a young fox spirit that I had contracted with recently.  Anyone can contract with spirits although it is rare, but only wizards can create familiars.  Rin will be my main battle potential as I will try my best not to show off my magic with Erilom present. 

The side door I was waiting by opened and Erilom walked out *sigh* this will be difficult wont it.  This world is far more accepting of risqu outfits than my own world.  A revealing outfit here is just a revealing outfit.  Its considered a style of dress, not an indication of promiscuity.  Even so, I had hoped that walking around in public would have encouraged Erilom to make some more conservative choices.  It didnt. 

She had a black crop top made from highly elastic Lunging Viper skin which stuck to her like latex.  She had black quad-bull leather hotpants that were so tight I truly cant comprehend how she got them on and thigh-high dragonskin boots that were just as form-fitting.  Whatever, I wont be shaken this time around.  As pretty as Erilom is, my Veronica is way beyond her.  So I will be calm like a still lake. 

Hello Terra! So this is your actual appearance!  Erilom looked me up and down.  I saw the fire of lust in her eyes dim greatly as she looked at my androgynous face.  YES!  Its working!  Erilom then noticed Rin Oh, is this cutie your contracted spirit?  Yeah, but she doesnt like to be touched.  Such a shame.  Well, shall we be off?  I nodded in response to Eriloms query and we started walking along. 

She grabbed onto my arm just like last time and we obviously appeared to our surroundings as a couple.  The plan for this date is to watch the finals of the Bloodmoon Arenas Bloody Brawl Tournament, then go to the Obsidian Steakhouse to have dinner.  After that we are to pretend to head to an inn to do naughty stuff.  Erilom very much wanted to actually do it when we were discussing the plan, but I declined.  Repeatedly.

WOOOAHHHH!!!!  The audience at the arena cheered loudly as a massive bear-kin just finished beating a brawny dog-kin into a bloody pulp.  The Bloody Brawl is as its name described:  a bare fist death-match.  The bear-kin was covered in red as he made a victory pose to the crowd.  The dwarven announcer then started speaking ALRIGHT WHAT A BEAUTIFULLY BRUTAL VICTORY BY WOKU!  GIVE IT UP FOR OUR NOW 5-TIME DEFENDING CHAMPION!!! 

The audience roared loudly once more.  It was a pretty boring fight to watch since unarmed combat in this world is underdeveloped.  And for good reason since theres no point in trying to punch a dragon to death without magic enhancement.  So for these types of tournaments its usually down to size and strength.  I thankfully didnt have to deal with Eriloms advances during the match.  Her interest has disappeared after seeing my face.  There has been no hint of Ine yet.

I was thinking about what I wanted to order for dinner when things took a strange turn.  An employee of the Bloodmoon Arena ran up to the announcer and whispered something.  Then he whispered to Woku, who nodded in reply.  The announcer nodded and then turned to the crowd.  AS A THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH AN AMAZING CROWD, WE HAVE A SPECIAL BONUS ROUND FOR YOU!!!!  LETS INTRODUCE THE MYSTERIOUS CHALLENGER WHOLL FIGHT RIGHT NOW!!! 

As he said that, I felt a magic spell quickly envelop me.  My surroundings blurred for a moment and I realized I was on the field of the arena.  AND HERE HE IS!!! CAN THIS ELF SURVIVE THE WRATH OF WOKU?!?!?!? OR WILL HE END UP WATERING THE GRASS!?!? LETS FIND OUT!!!!  I gave a small sigh as I realized that this Ine was quite clever.  He must have bribed or magically charmed the staff to set this up.  A non-hostile transport spell would also not trigger most defensive magic items, so it was a well-thought plan. 

I calmly removed my weapon and gave it to the ref before I took a simple stance while waiting for Wuko to come.  The crowd was cheering, looking forward to the one-sided beatdown that they expected to happen.  Elves are lacking in strength and bulk compared to most other species, so a fistfight would be their doom most of the time.

Wuko let out a roar and charged at me.  As he soon as he was within range, I leaped high into the air and performed a spinning roundhouse kick.  My foot smashed into the side of his head and removed it from his shoulders.  A fountain of blood spurted out from his neck and the fresh corpse toppled.  Unfortunately, one his arms flailed as he fell and his claw hooked onto my baggy tunic and tore it off.  I landed, shirtless, in a pool of the champions blood. 

For what was likely the first time in its history after a match, the entire Bloodmoon Arena was silent.  No one would have thought that an elf could kill the 5-time champion of the worlds foremost brawling tournament in a single strike.  I walked off the field calmly.  Erilom was waiting for me along with Rin in the hall.  She was panting as she openly stared.  Son of a bitch.  My look ugly strategy to keep her off me has been blown out of the water now.  An elf having a muscular physique like mine is without a doubt considered exceedingly masculine and thus attractive. 

In order to distract her, I said It seems like Ine doesnt want to openly confront us.  Erilom nodded to that statement Yeah, he was always a bit hesitant.  He likely wont directly take action until his jealousy overcomes his timidity.  And when would that be?  Probably when he sees were about to make love.  So until then hell keep trying these kind of indirect assassinations?  Probably.  This is going to be a pain.

I told Rin to start observing our surroundings to see if she can engage Ine the next time he tries to cast a spell.  My familiar gave a cute nod and quickly melted into the shadows.  While trying to fend off Eriloms resurgent advances, I left the arena with her in tow and headed to the restaurant.  Fortunately, the arena was able to provide me with a replacement shirt, a simple tank top that showed off my muscles rather than hiding them. 

The endless lustful stares I had to suffer from the elven women around us as we entered the restaurant was unsettling.  Haa.  I didnt know that elven women had such a muscle fetish.  No wonder Veronica gets so frisky when she sees me training with my shirt off.  Not that I mind when its her. 

We entered the Obsidian Steakhouse and were led to our table by a dog-kin slave in a maid outfit.  Yep, the Obsidian Steakhouse is a strange fusion of a medieval themed maid caf and an American steakhouse.  It doesnt make sense, but thats why it is another world.  I am rather looking forward to trying the quad-bull steak here though.  How does the other world steak stack up to my world?  It must be my fathers culinary influence as to why I am kind of excited for this. 

A cute pixie maid took our order and while we were waiting I was checking with Rin.  Ine was nowhere to be found.  I was wondering where he could be as I was about to drink my water and stopped.  In this world it is important to always be on guard with all senses.  I could smell the faintest trace of a bittersweet fragrance in my water.  It looks like Ine poisoned my drink.  Hmm, it looks like for the second attempt on my life hes going for subterfuge rather than magic. 

Its a good idea, but poison is unreliable unless youre an expert at using it.  I refrained from drinking my water as the food finally arrived.  The golden quad-bull steak was releasing a truly mouth-watering aroma and I was about to happily dig in when I noticed the faint hint of another poison.  This one was an odorless poison, but the meat had a slight unnatural discoloration to it.  *Sigh* Ine is certainly persistent if not inventive. 

The dessert I ordered after the steak was also poisoned, so I ended up eating nothing as Erilom happily munched away at her own food.  Rin wasnt able to find Ine, so it looks like the inn will be our last shot to bait him out.  We left the steakhouse and I was ignoring my empty stomach.  It was the first time I had left a restaurant hungrier than when I entered it. 

We checked into an inn and headed up to a spacious room with a large single bed.  I closed the blinds and turned to tell Erilom to start faking moaning sounds, but she had other ideas.  In the two seconds it had taken me to close the curtains, she had somehow managed to strip off everything except for her thigh-high boots and was about to push me down.  But then my guardian angel Ine saved me. 

A blast of wind blew the window open and pushed Erilom off of me.  A series of ice needles then perforated the wall and headed towards me, which I easily dodged.  I could already hear that Rin had located Ine and that he was on the rooftop of the opposite building across the street.  I signaled her to wait until he had exhausted more mana before striking. 

The walls all creaked inwards as thorny branches suddenly grew from them.  They all went towards me, forcing me to draw my sword and hack away at them.  As I finished my gardening, the wall with the window was blasted apart.  The target finally revealed himself as he appeared in the wrecked room. 

Ine was an elf like me who had blond hair and red eyes.  Those red eyes were also fully bloodshot, giving him a really creepy look.  YOU WILL GET AWAY FROM MY ERILOM! SHE IS MINE! I WONT HAND HER OVER TO ANYONE ELSE! he roared madly.  Looks like he has lost control.  Ines body started to swell and contort as he used some strange magic on himself. 

When it finished, Ine looked like a caricature of a steroid using bodybuilder.  ERILOM! LOOK AT ME! I AM FAR SUPERIOR TO THIS PUNY THING!!! he screamed. I slowly inched closer as Rin also was about to take her place.  I couldnt just rashly engage him because I had to look out for Erilom.  This handicap is why I normally dont do escort jobs.  

DIE!!!!  Ine swung one of his arms towards me, which I naturally sidestepped and hacked at with my sword.  *Ching* My simple shortsword broke as it failed to leave a mark on Ines toughened skin.  I miss my rhomphaia so much right now.  Ine pulled back his arm to swing it again, when suddenly Rin appeared right behind him.  She expanded to the size of a horse and then bit down hard on his neck, killing him instantly.  Phew, its over thank goodness.  He wasnt as tough as I thought.  I looked over at the pouting Erilom and said Now if you would be so kind, lets head back to the Temple so you can pay me my money.