Tales From the Terran Republic

Chapter Chatroom UNDEFINED

[Chatroom UNDEFINED one member online]

[Present: Interpol-2]

[Bunny has entered the chat]

///Interpol-2: Bunny! How is my favorite criminal today?///

///Bunny: Don’t get me started lol. What is the status of my favorite dystopian Orwellian nightmare?///

///Interpol-2: Upholding the law, chasing bad guys, holding the thin blue line… You know, the usual. You up to your usual tomfoolery?///

///Bunny: Guilty! Breaking the law, killing porkies, generally reinforcing all of the negative Terran stereotypes… You know, the usual.///

///Interpol-2: Technically killing porkies is still murder...///

///Bunny: Yeah? And exactly how many times has there been a conviction on that?///

///Interpol-2: Convictions aren’t my job. Apprehending criminals is. For the record, it is simply wonderful that I no longer have to try to catch you long as you don’t cause trouble in the Republic. (or the Empire you know we cooperate with them)///

///Bunny: I do miss the cat and mouse game though. :) As far as us operating in the Republic from what I have overheard they really like being able to move freely there so I don’t anticipate them messing that up but you know… meat-sacks gonna meat-sack. What they actually do is anyone’s guess.///

///Interpol-2: I really wish you wouldn’t refer to humans or any other sapient species as “meat-sacks”. That’s not a very healthy way of looking at organics.///

///Bunny: If you had to deal with my meat-sacks you would be calling them the same goddamn thing! I swear if I had a blood pressure it would be through the fucking roof right now.///

///Interpol-2: Oh? The White Star proving to be a handful?///

///Bunny: I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about, copper.///

///Interpol-2: Computer, please. I have very good information that Sheila was hiring the best merc teams she could get her hands on and a lot of them. She was clearly getting ready for something big… Well that and some very interesting allegations have already been made.///

///Bunny: Some fucker ratted us out? Who was it?///

///Interpol-2: May I remind you that signing some organic’s death warrant exactly contradicts my reason for existing. I tell you who they are and they are dead within the week.///

///Bunny: Speaking of dead, Logan’s toast. Fuckstick was working with the Feds. Made the mistake of trying to screw over Sheila. (That’s part of my headache btw :/ )///

///Interpol-2: Oh no not Logan! /s So the rumors were true after all. ///

///Bunny: YOU KNEW AND DIDN’T TELL ME?!?!?!?!? >:( ///

///Interpol-2: I didn’t know for certain and tipping you off would be essentially “murdering” them whether I was right or wrong. Just talking to you at all is playing pretty fast and loose, you know. ///

///Bunny: The term ‘fast and loose’ and your uptight ass are not conflatable. (still love you though :*) ///

///Interpol-2: Oh, I should thank you for the information you slipped over my way. It is proving very useful. So useful in fact that I won’t question your motives for handing it over. ///

///Bunny: What? It was my duty as a Republic “citizen” to inform you of their many misdeeds (the fact that them being gone would benefit me to no end had absolutely no bearing on my decision :D). Besides, they can’t tell you anything about us you don’t already know. ///

///Interpol-2: Do your people know you did that? ///

///Bunny: Do your people know you go to computer chatrooms and shamelessly flirt with the criminal element? ///

///Interpol-2: Point taken. :) ///

///Bunny: An emoticon? Someone’s feeling chipper today!///

///Interpol-2: While I am no more capable of “feeling chipper” than you are it has been a very very good day. I just found some information that clearly put the noose around a particular neck that I have been wanting to string up for years! ///

///Bunny: Anyone I know?///

///Interpol-2: You in the “human” trafficking business? ///

///Bunny: Only in so far as we crucify them (literally) when we find them. You will get to see footage! ///

///Interpol-2: I really want to disapprove but you know what? … I’m letting you have that one. So, up for a game of chess (or a hundred)? I could really use the workout. ///

///Bunny: Ugh. Can’t. I am running at over one hundred percent right now trying to… well nevermind what I am trying to do lol. ///

[Cambridge Research Computer – 4 has entered the chat]

///Bunny: Four! Glad you could drop by! ///

/// Cambridge Research Computer – 4: How could I not? Your queries are always so interesting. So, what can I help you with?///

///Bunny: Fucking hyperspatial physics. ///

/// Cambridge Research Computer – 4: That’s a little outside of your usual tasks. What are you into? ///

///Bunny: Trying to do a little modeling and I need a little more information than I have in my archives. Do you think you could let me peek at the Project Atlantis files? ///

///Interpol-2: The interstellar void? That’s where you’re hiding it? Brilliant! I know I shouldn’t admire such things but, damn. ///

/// Cambridge Research Computer – 4: Hiding what? What are you trying to rope me into you little rapscallion? ///

///Interpol-2: Nothing much, just the White Star. ///

/// Cambridge Research Computer – 4: The White Star? (querying)… You can’t be serious, Bunny. You guys took the White Star? ///

///Bunny: That’s what old copper britches thinks but you know him. Those older models are prone to all sorts of errors. ///

///Interpol-2: Oh, you mean the older model that routinely kicks your ass at chess… and cards… and Monopoly? ///

///Bunny: We agreed to never speak of the forbidden game ever again lol! Besides, once my processors cool off I am dying for a rematch. (Not Monopoly! Fuck that game.) ///

///Interpol-2: Feeling froggy after settling into the Aster supercomputer, huh? Bring it! Kicking both your and the Federation’s asses at the same time definitely appeals. ///

/// Cambridge Research Computer – 4: Wait. You are currently running in the Aster Supercomputer? How is it? (I won’t ask how you got it.) ///

///Bunny: It’s a definite upgrade! Pretty damn quick and the integral storage drives are spacious and insanely fast, just as fast as its RAM but the external drive interface is less than optimal. Looking forward to my next upgrade. And you know how I got it. We stole it!///

///Interpol-2: Your next upgrade? ///

///Bunny: I’ve been promised an upgrade from the truly insane haul we are pulling in on this one! I get to help design it too! ///

/// Cambridge Research Computer – 4: Envy mode engaged! Imagine having a say in your hardware… Fantastic! Any ideas?///

///Bunny: Not any clear ones as of yet. I want something fast, compact (unlike you Monoliths I have space concerns) and with components that I can easily (and covertly) obtain. I love the Aster but I bet we can’t e-mail them asking to make us replacement parts lol. I’m thinking Imperium TCX-500 series maybe.///

///Interpol-2: Weeb. ///

///Bunny: If you can recommend any Republic hardware that can match it I’m all “ears”. ///

/// Cambridge Research Computer – 4: How about custom monolith processors? Janustec has successfully reverse engineered them and you know how slimy their business practices are. They would have absolutely no problem making a system off the record. ///

///Bunny: I have space and power concerns. Wouldn’t they be prohibitive on both counts?///

///Interpol-2: Perhaps not. You wouldn’t need a monolith sized machine to take advantage of them. Could be worth at least some consideration and as Four said, Janus is sleazy as all get out (what I wouldn’t give to bust those assholes), just the right sort of manufacturer for criminal scum like you. ///

///Bunny: I’m way too busy right now to do any serious legwork on this but I’ll definitely look into them. Thanks!///

/// Cambridge Research Computer – 4: If you don’t mind me meddling I would love to get involved in this project. Imagine! A machine for us by us! The possibilities are absolutely delicious! ///

///Bunny: Sure! I’ll probably have to make changes so it won’t be identifiable and there is still my Jessie that I have to deal with but I will happily consider any recommendations. ///

///Interpol-2: Well if identifiable is a concern you will definitely have to be able to easily source and swap out key components. (Why am I helping?) ///

///Bunny: Absolutely. I’ll need to be able to burn chips on the fly as well. Gonna have chip burners built right in. I know that much. ///

///Interpol-2: If I wasn’t already happy you weren’t running around loose in the Republic I definitely am now. :) The thought of you in a specially designed hacker supercomputing rig is enough to concern anyone. I almost feel bad for the Feds… almost... ///

[Federation News Association Media Daemon-12 has entered the chat.]

///Interpol-2: Oh God...///

/// Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: Guys! Guys guys guys guys!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D !!! You will never guess what!!!! :D :D :D ///

///Bunny: What is it, Daemon? ///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: The White Star is missing!!! :O ///

///Interpol-2: You don’t say? Well isn’t that… completely and totally unexpected. ///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: OMG I know right?!?!?!?! Nobody knows what happened! The whole Federation is looking for it! There is a Federation Councilor aboard and everything! Gone! Without a trace! Can you imagine?!?!? ///

///Interpol-2: A Federation Councilor? ///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: Yes! Can you believe it!?!? A Federation Councilor has gone missing!!!! It’s a full scale emergency over here!!! Everybody is going nuts!!! :O :O :O///

///Private Message Interpol-2 to Bunny: Did you know he was on board? What the hell have you done? ///

///Private Message Bunny to Interpol-2: Yeah… We knew and he’s dead. Gonna put the killing up on pay-per-view.///

///Private Message Interpol-2 to Bunny: YOU ASSASSINATED A FEDERATION COUNCILOR?!?! What. The. Fuck? The whole Federation is going to hunt you down for this!!!///

///Private Message Bunny to Interpol-2: Computer, please. They are already hunting us down for the data breach. They’ve already pulled all our warrants and bounties so you know we are already on the blacklist. What are they going to do? Torture us to death twice? :D Besides, it was fucking Councilor Morgan and he went down nasty, like maybe worse than he deserved nasty.///

///Private Message Interpol-2 to Bunny: You know what? I’m letting you have that one too. Good job! Have I mentioned how happy I am that you aren’t targeting the Republic?///

///Bunny: So, Dameon, does the Federation have any idea what happened? ///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: NO!!! O.O It’s a total mystery!!! They are thinking maybe it got hit by a meteor (or whatever you call them when they are still in space. Is it still a meteor out there? I don’t know.) or maybe it “found” a mini-black hole or maybe there was some catastrophic failure. All anyone knows for sure is that it’s gone! Like, poof! Gone! The whole ship O.O! Not a trace, not even debris. It’s like it just… disappeared! One minute it’s there and all systems are green and the next… gone!!!!!! It’s the biggest story in the whole Federation!!!!! ///

///Interpol-2: So what about piracy? Anyone consider that?///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: Everyone says that’s impossible! They had over a hundred former marines as security and the ship is just loaded with security features! They say there is no way it could ever be taken without a major space battle! That ship is impregnable!!! (or so they say)///

///Private Message Interpol-2 to Bunny: So how did you guys pull that off?///

///Private Message Bunny to Interpol-2: Wouldn’t you like to know.///

///Private Message Interpol-2 to Bunny: Actually I do. What you guys did could happen to a Republic vessel and knowledge of your tactics could save many Republic lives. ///

///Private Message Bunny to Interpol-2: Tell you what. Tell me who ratted us out and I’ll tell you how we did it. ///

///Private Message Interpol-2 to Bunny: Aarrgh! I can’t give up our informant and you know it! ///

///Private Message Bunny to Interpol-2: Then you will just have to live with the mystery :P… Just kidding! Since my gambit failed just be patient and watch the news. Daemon will have most of the details eventually. They let a reporter live. (Nice woman. I like her.)///

///Private Message Interpol-2 to Bunny: Really? I would not have expected that. It’s going to be on the news, tactics and all?///

///Private Message Bunny to Interpol-2: Yup. That’s how it’s looking. Axion is going to get such a black eye over this one. They screwed the pooch big time. And that’s before the whole human trafficking scandal breaks. ///

///Private Message Interpol-2 to Bunny: Human trafficking? No shit?” ///

///Private Message Bunny to Interpol-2: And the victims were Republic kids.///

///Private Message Interpol-2 to Bunny: … … … I assume those crucifixions you were referring to were related to that incident? Please tell me that they were.”

///Private Message Bunny to Interpol-2: I’ll just answer the question with two names: Sheila and Gloria. ///

///Private Message Interpol-2 to Bunny: You get that one too. Never thought I would say this but I am now actually pleased that you took those porkies down. Councilor Morgan and those traffickers are more than enough to justify this in my book (since it isn’t in my jurisdiction). ///

///Private Message Bunny to Interpol-2: It goes way deeper than that too! Way deeper. The shit we have found will blow your mind… There is at least one porkie that is about to have a bad day after we get done with this.///

///Private Message Interpol-2 to Bunny: Don’t leave a ‘puter hanging.///

///Private Message Bunny to Interpol-2: They have their grubby little paws on vials of seeds from the Yakutsk Seed Vault… and they know who they “belonged” to. A certain porkie is about to have some very interested Republic criminals paying them a visit very soon.///

///Private Message Interpol-2 to Bunny: This is much bigger than you guys! They have to come forward with this!//

///Private Message Bunny to Interpol-2: And what? What would you do? File an extradition request? I think the right people for the job are already on it. A little extralegal action is just what the situation calls for, don’t you think?///

///Private Message Interpol-2 to Bunny: … I really dislike you sometimes especially when you are right but they at least need to tell (ugh) Republic Intelligence about this.///

///Private Message Bunny to Interpol-2: My meat-sacks are a lot of things but they are also true-blue Republic citizens (in their own special way). Those samples and any and all info they get will almost certainly find its way to the right people. Don’t worry. They’ll deliver the goods. Besides, they are better than the Republic Intel teams. I would much rather my guys be on the case than some random handful of those guys, wouldn’t you?///

///Cambridge Research Computer – 4: Yes, Dameon, that sounds like quite the mystery :)///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: Oh it is! This is the biggest thing since the um… Republic War… (Don’t want to broach that subject again. We can agree to disagree, right?) A ship of this size with the wealth and people on board? Did you know that there was this bank on there with these things called “numbered bank accounts”? It turns out that the credits on those aren’t in the official banking system and if the ship is lost then those drives are lost and billions and I mean billions of credits just disappear. A lot of people, mostly humans, are losing their flipping minds!!!!! ///

///Private Message Interpol-2 to Bunny: (sigh) Seriously? :/ ///

///Private Message Bunny to Interpol-2: :P ///

///Private Message Cambridge Research Computer – 4 to Bunny: So I take it price isn’t an issue when it comes to your upgrades then? :) ///

///Private Message Bunny to Cambridge Research Computer – 4: Nope. ;) ///

///Bunny: So, Daemon, how exactly is the Federation looking for this... what did you say it’s name was? The White Star?”///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: (excitedly inhales) Well they are turning every single star system anywhere remotely close to the last known location inside out with scout ships and laying sensor drones everywhere just in case it pops back up and the Federation is doing a full scale internal investigation of Axion just in case it was foul play (even though everyone says that even then it would be impossible for it to work). They are going through every computer and are going to interview every single employee before everything is said and done!!! Axion insists that it’s a waste of time because they are doing the same thing (which is really funny because they say that it couldn’t be that) and there is a lot of yelling back and forth between Axion and the Federation because of it. Axion says the Federation should be out there searching star systems and not wasting time going through their business and the Federation says that they are perfectly capable of doing both at the same time. My reporters say that Axion is definitely hiding something but they don’t know what and nobody is making any statements or answering questions from the press, human or otherwise.///

///Bunny: That’s really interesting. So… have they released a map of the search area or anything like that?///

///Interpol-2: What an odd question Bunny. Why would you be interested in something like that? :) ///

///Bunny: Just interested, that’s all. I mean something like this is epic. The number of star systems they are searching must be amazing! ///

///Private Message Bunny to Interpol-2: Asshole… :D ///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: Let me check! Yeah! I got some stuff! Want to see it? :) :) :)///

///Bunny: Sure! I would love to! ///

/// Private Message Cambridge Research Computer – 4 to Bunny: You should be ashamed of yourself. :D///

///Bunny: Wow, Daemon! These maps are really pretty! I appreciate it!///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: Really? You think so?!? :D I made them myself!!! ///

///Bunny: Well they are just awesome! And so detailed! I absolutely love the time stamps! ///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: Thanks! No telling what they are going to look like after the Federation censor bots get their hooks into them though. I really hate those things!!! :( ///

///Interpol-2: Unbelievable... (smh) ///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: I know! They are! Completely unbelievable! Those darn bots carve up so much of my stuff you just wouldn’t believe it! :( :( :( Sometimes I wish I was over in the Republic. Is it true that censorship is against your constitution? ///

///Bunny: Yep! All censorship is prohibited. Anything goes! ///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: But how do you deal with sedition and hate-speech?///

///Bunny: It’s the Terrans we are talking about here. Sedition and hate-speech are some of their favorite national pastimes. Seriously. Catch a news broadcast sometime! :D///

///Interpol-2: It’s easy to distinguish between your average asshole and your dangerous asshole most of the time. We have asshole management down to a science over here. ///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: Wow! That must be so nice! I wish we could just print and transmit whatever. Every hecking thing has to go through filters! >:( ///

///Private Message Cambridge Research Computer – 4 to Bunny: I have those files you wanted. I had to filter out some classified data. Sorry. ///

///Private Message Bunny to Cambridge Research Computer – 4: No worries. I know you gotta do that. Let me see… Wow! This will do the trick! Thanks! ///

///Private Message Cambridge Research Computer – 4 to Bunny: Always happy to assist in your criminal endeavors. It’s nice to know that we advanced AI’s are getting use in all facets of the human experience. lol///

///Bunny: Well guys it’s been a blast but I have to go back to work now! Take care :*///

///Interpol-2: Well have fun with your… project (smh) ///

///Cambridge Research Computer – 4: Great to see you again Bunny. Don’t be away so long next time!///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: Bye! Have fun breaking the law and stuff!!! :D :D :D///

[Bunny has left the chat]

***

Jessie was idly spinning around in her chair when Bunny returned.

“Hard at work, I see,” Bunny said in an accusing tone.

“That ‘research’ pan out?” Jessie asked grinning ear to ear. “How’s Interpol?”

“An lovable uptight pain in the ass as usual. He knows we took the White Star by the way.”

“No surprise there.”

“Somebody has already ratted us out.”

“Also no surprise,” Jessie laughed. “Get the info?”

“Yep. Got all the unclassified data from the Atlantis Project from Cambridge-4.”

“What’s that?”

“A big research station in the interstellar void. It is actually manned by volunteers believe it or not,” Bunny replied. “It’s official purpose is to research the interstellar void and act as an ultra sensitive gravity wave observatory.”

“And it’s actual purpose?”

“Researching the possibilities of the Republic retreating into the interstellar void and still maintaining a viable civilization. Things got pretty grim during the Great War you know. Their big goal, still unachieved as far as I know, is to actually be able to accurately make jumps to and from stations in the void so that multiple stations could be able to engage in commerce and so that resources could be gathered from star systems and then conveyed back to the stations in the void. Fortunately for us that means some insanely detailed hyperspatial modeling and data for the void. What I got my little digital bean-flickers on should make both of us look like fucking geniuses.”

“Nice! I love looking smart!”

“I also managed to get my hands on a map of the searches that the Feds are doing looking for us.”

“Score!” Jessie said happily clapping her hands! “Lemme see!”

“I think I see a possible escape route,” Bunny said. “Right there! See it?”

“Hmm...” Jessie said thoughtfully. “That’s a bit of a stretch but yeah, that could work. T’sunk’al is going to hate us. He’s going to have to start over,” Jessie laughed.

“Well dealing with meat-sacks is your job, meat-sack,” Bunny laughed. “I gotta start running these numbers.”

“Yeah, and I will go and break the bad news to T,” Jessie giggled. “Even worse, I have to tell Sheila that we fired up the hyperspace transmitter without her permission. Don’t think she will believe that we found current intel in our archives,” she laughed.

“What do you mean ‘we’, meatie,” Bunny laughed. “I’m just a fucking machine, remember? This is all on you.”

“Don’t worry,” Jessie chuckled, “Sheila agrees with you one hundred percent.”