Redo of a Romanceless Author’s Life Devoid of Love; Another Chance at Youth

Chapter 99.

Chapter 99. Christmas Day (3/6)

Rosa's arms were huddled together between our chests, lightly gripping on my shirt while I embraced her.

“Woah… what’s going on here? Why’s the atmosphere so weird?” Chris had finally made his appearance.

“We just witnessed something good is all~,” Irene told her out-of-the-loop son with an impish smile.

“Something good?”

“Yes, very good. It’s a shame you missed it, son. You could have taken some lessons on how to get away with being a cheapskate. It was quite romantic in a sense, I’m actually jealous.” She jokingly teased me for my inability to prepare a proper engagement ring on such short notice. 

“What the heck happened? I’m so confused. Why is the stupid couple hugging?”

“Because they’re no normal couple anymore. As of today, they’re engaged.”

“What!” Chris’s eyes opened wide in utter shock and disbelief. “This guy? You’re saying this evil guy is engaged? To such a beauty?”

“Yes, but he’s not evil. When are you going to stop being so jealous?”

“I’m not jealous. He’s just the devil.” He stated as though it was a matter of fact.

“Little brother, you shouldn’t call someone the devil. That’s mean.” His elder sister suddenly chimed in and scolded him while she waved her index finger from left to right.

“But sis-”

“No buts.”

Chris’s shoulders slumped down, unable to go against his elder sister.

When Rosa and I saw the interaction we separated our bodies. Though she’d held onto my left hand with her right. She started to gently play around with it stroking under my palm and the back of my hand. It was a bit ticklish, but I let her do as she pleased.

After some time passed, everyone filled up their plates with food and sat down together at the table in the dining room. Rosa and I sat close together. She was happily feeding me food in front of everyone with a smile. For today, since it was already her loss, she decided to just indulge herself without worrying about her plan to hook me up with Alicia.

Since I’d created a safety net with my proposal, I didn’t need to worry about ‘Operation To Kill A Mockingbird’s Love’ for a while. I had room to breathe at last.

The next few days should be more easygoing. Without a major day like Christmas or Christmas Eve to set the mood, I couldn’t see Rosa pulling anything off. The next big hurdle for me would probably be Valentine’s Day in February. But that was over a month away. I could relax until then.

Once we finished our meals Chris ran outside for some reason. When he came back he passed directly behind me while Rosa was nestled up next to me and hugging my arm.

I didn’t think much of it at first but the next instant my thoughts changed. This little bastard. It seems I’d become an eyesore to him with how lovey-dovey Rosa was behaving with me. I’d noticed the way he’d been looking at Rosa over the last few days. It seems he’d developed a bit of a crush on her. I personally found it cute and all, I didn’t have much of a problem with that in particular.

However, what happened just now was another story altogether… there was a very cold sensation down my back. The punk had secretly slipped snow down the back of my shirt when he passed behind me just now.

I was someone accustomed to this climate though, so something small like this didn’t phase me much. However… I was a very petty person.

I stood up from my chair and turned around. I shot him a look, ‘So you’ve chosen death, boy.’

He trembled when he realized my weak reaction to the snow and he cried out, “Even the Snow of the Ice Dragon has no effect on him, he really is the devil after all!” Ice Dragon, who now? Is he going through that embarrassing phase where kids think giving such names to mundane things is cool? Well, I can play along a bit, I guess.

He fled straight outside and yoinked his jacket off the hook at the front door. I naturally chased after the little bastard and did the same.

If it’s a war you want, it’s a war you shall receive, little boy. I’d only just finished up my battle with the women in this house and I suddenly had a new opponent showing up at my door? I would cut the problem off at its roots before it became any worse. I didn’t want this little bastard to think I was a pushover he could make a move against so lightly.

“Ah. Where are you going in such a rush?” Alicia asked me that as I passed her on the way out.

“To crush a kid and make him cry in a snowball fight.”

“What! You’re going to bully my little brother?”

By that point, I was already out the door with my jacket on.

I spotted the little bastard peeking at me from the side of the building. When he realized I’d spotted him he instinctively felt fear.

“Hahaha. You think it’s funny to put snow down someone’s shirt?”

“I’m sorry! I won’t do it again.”

I raised my left hand and waved my index finger left and right as I said, “No no no. Once you start a war, you see it through to the end, Chris.”

I bent over and was about to scoop up some snow when I noticed red lace wrapped around my finger. I hadn’t put on any gloves so it was exposed. I didn’t want it to get damaged or wet and lose it so I pulled out one of my gloves from my pocket and put it on.

With that done I made a snowball and chased him out from behind the side of the building and hit him square in the back as he fled.

The impact was strong enough to make him lose his balance and fall flat in the snow.

“Where do you think you’re running to, little Chris? This is a snowball fight, no, make that snowball duel to the death. Only one of us will survive, boy.”

“You, monster. What kind of monster has no reaction to snow down his back!”

“I’ve just lived longer, boy. Do not underestimate the number of times snow has fallen off a roof and gone down my back.”

“What! What kind of body strengthening technique is that?”

“Shut up and eat snow.”

I threw another snowball at him while he was still on the ground.

“Ah! You fiend! For a man to hit a child when he is down, do you have no honor!”

“I’m a child too, you know. I’m only three years older than you~” I felt great taking advantage of the fact that my outward appearance was not that of a grown-ass forty-year-old man right now. Only when you were a dumbass kid could you get away with bullying another child in a snowball fight. If an adult did so, everyone would frown at them and give them a nasty eye.

“A devil disguised as a kid doesn’t count as a real kid!”

“Hahahaha! Why don’t you call for your elder sister to save you then? I’m sure she would be more than happy to.” This way I could lower my impression of myself in her eyes. There was no way she’d be happy seeing me towing over her little brother on the ground while tossing a snowball up and down menacingly.

“Big sis, help! The devil is playing dirty!”

As if she’d been waiting for her queue the entire time, she ran outside the door and pelted snowballs at me.

Rosa similarly ran out after her and mimicked her actions. 

In reality, they hadn’t been waiting for someone to call out to them to join in, they’d just been putting on their outdoor clothes. Women took longer to get dressed after all.

“What’s with this? Why is my own girlfriend, no, fiancé, siding with the enemy?”

“Heh, it’s the power of being the youngest. You’ve fallen into my trap, you devilish fiend. Today you will be vanquished for good.”

Chris finally stood up and started throwing snowballs at me.

Being attacked by three at once, I was greatly outnumbered. I was forced to start dodging them. If I didn’t, it was only a matter of time before I’d be freezing my ass off buried under the snow.

While I dodged their snowballs I scooped up snowballs as well and threw them back. Occasionally, I caught incoming snowballs and threw them back. For every time I hit Rosa and Alicia, I hit Chris three times out of pure pettiness.

Five minutes in, another contender showed up to the fight. Irene. She looked excited and quickly joined their side. I’d already been at my limit with three people. With the addition of the fourth, I didn’t even have a gap to pick up snow. I could only catch their snowballs with my hands, reform them after they lost their form, and throw them back.

Still, I was hit much more since Irene joined the party. My limited stamina was also depleting quickly. Though I was pretty good at maneuvering my body and dodging, that was only the case while I still had stamina. The longer it went on, the more tired I was. Eventually, I collapsed on the ground in defeat.

The hero party had successfully defeated the evil devil.

“I surrender.” I waved the white flag of defeat after thirty minutes. It was bloody cold and I was too exhausted to continue.