Redo of a Romanceless Author’s Life Devoid of Love; Another Chance at Youth

Chapter 96.

Chapter 96. Christmas Eve, Operation: To Kill A Mockingbird’s Love (8/8)

“That’s impossible.”

“It’s not, I’ll even make it lucrative for you to quit your job. I will not be staying at your place for free as a freeloader. I will rent that room out from you for $600, more than you make monthly at your third job. This will be paid in cash at the end of every month. You can avoid paying taxes on it in this manner too. It’s nobody’s business after all. From an outsider’s perspective, it will just be you being kind and letting a pitiful homeless child stay at your place for free.”

“And another thing, with how busy you are, I doubt you take care of your taxes yourself. I bet you pay a tax consultant, don’t you? I can handle your taxes for you since I already know how to file taxes myself, so you don’t need to pay anyone and lose out on the fee they charge for filing them for you.”

“You wouldn’t even need to leave the comfort of your home wasting the oh-so-limited time in your day as I can get everything done online for you. It’s honestly a small thing… but it’s only really this one thing I’d be any use for. I’m not able to cook like Rosa can, so I don’t have much to offer aside from this small benefit and the rent for the room.”

“You really know how to do taxes! For real! Seriously? I hate that time of the year the most, it’s nothing but a headache for me! I never had the time to learn how to do them on my own. My husband also used to take care of them for me!” Her eyes sparkled like a child who’d met her savior.

“Yeah, I know how.” Is done them for decades after all.

“Ah, wait… but you’re just a kid… how can I be sure you really know how to do them and you aren’t tricking me?”

“What do I have to gain by deceiving you about the most dreadful thing known to mankind?”

“I don’t really get why you know the pain of taxes as a student when you don’t need to pay them yet, but I somehow feel like I’ve met my fated partner.”

“You… really hate taxes too, don’t you?”

“Yes. With a passion. Screw the government taking my money away just for working so many extra hours! Do they not have a heart and see how much I’m struggling? Are they devils?”

“They are. Definitely.”

“Right? Right?” She was giddy to have someone to complain about her messy tax situation having three jobs.

As I’d previously had two jobs and also another source of income that paid out in royalties, I’d learned how to file my taxes myself so I wouldn’t have to pay an additional fee to a third party tax consultant to prepare my return when the government was already bleeding me dry because of the royalties.

“Ah, but you might not see it this way but I feel like you’re losing out in this exchange.” She suddenly voiced her thoughts on the matter.

“I don’t really feel like I’m losing out at all though. I get to live together with a beauty and see her smiling every day. To see you happy and smiling is much more of a reward than you’d think.”

She took her right hand off the wheel and poked my left cheek. While still keeping her eyes on the road, she said, “Stop being so cheeky~ what’s the real reason?”

“Maybe I just thought I wanted to see you love not just your children, but yourself as well. I’d rather not see you work yourself into the grave. I don’t think your children would be happy if you really died from overwork. I just want to alleviate a bit of the burden you’re carrying, that’s all.” 

When I said that, I couldn’t help but recall the trembling back of my own mother as she faced everything all alone. Those nights where she wept to herself in silence from how hard everything was on her were still engraved into the back of my mind. The cruelty of the world, this world wasn’t a forgiving one at all.

“You’re still… being cheeky… it’s unfair if you say something like that. I’m really really going to fall for you for real, you know… you have a young and pretty girlfriend already, you shouldn’t say all these kinds of things to an old woman like me.”

“Me having a girlfriend sure didn’t stop you from having your way with me.”

“Ugh.” She groaned when I called her out. 

“Also, you’re not an old woman. I already told you before to stop insulting and disrespecting women who really are old.”

“Haha… I guess you did say that.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Cheeky kids are really hard to deal with.” She grumbled to herself while pouting her lips.

“So? Will you quit your third job?”

“Yeah. I will. But is it really okay? You’ll lose out on your chance at that reward I offered, won’t you?”

“No reward is worth more than your smile to me anyway.”

“Cheeky. Cheeky. Too cheeky. Stop being so cheeky already~”

Heh. Does this woman not realize that I'll be doing her taxes two to three months from now? Did she really think I wouldn’t see the company information on the tax slip when I’m filling everything out? Why would I give up a reward that is so easy to acquire? 

Naive. She’d let her guard down. There was still a small bit of naivety for me to take advantage of. Yes, a side objective in offering my services to prepare her tax return had been this. Nevertheless, it was a small objective, but I was not opposed to something like free information or snatching up an easy win over her.

When I imagined the look on her face the instant she realized she’d been duped, it was more than enough motivation for me.

It was already hard enough as it was to squeak out a win over this woman. If I didn’t take the ones presented to me on a silver platter, when would I ever win over her? She’d constantly be toying with me like a cat with a mouse.

“Ah! That’s right! We got completely sidetracked, didn’t we? Didn’t all this talk start because of you not preparing a Christmas present for your girlfriend?”

She suddenly brought that topic back up. I was troubled though. I really didn’t know what to do. It felt like I didn’t have any time to get anything. Everywhere would be closed by now and most places were closed tomorrow as well.

“I think I’m screwed.” I honestly admitted.

“Maybe not. I think I have something in mind that might make her quite happy.”

“But there’s no way I can go buy anything in time even if you think of something.”

“Who said you need to buy something?”

“What do you mean?”

She smiled beautifully and said, “Don’t you think your girlfriend would be happiest with you as a present? More specifically, you doing things for her? All you need to do is make some coupons with tasks you can do for her. She can redeem them whenever she wants to. I’d suggest also making one coupon a request of her choice as well.”

“Ugh. A request of her choice, you say? I’ve gotten burned pretty badly with those recently.”

“Haha, have you?”

“Yes.” If I gave her another one of those… I don’t even know what would happen. My greatest fear was the event where another woman was added to my list of troubles.

“Then… you could always put a minor restriction on it. Specifically, the one thing you’ve been getting burned on.”

“Oh, that’s true. It should actually work out pretty well if I do it that way.” The fine print will say something like, ‘no adding more women to my troubles.’ That should cover my bases.

“Good.”

“Thank you for the suggestion. I’d have been in trouble without it.”

“Oh? By the way, what present are you giving me and my daughter?”

“Huh?”

“Haha, so you even forgot that as well. You really are helpless and lost without me, aren’t you? Well, I’m sure my daughter would be satisfied with a single request coupon from you, how about that?”

“As for me, I don’t need anything else. You already... gave me one hell of a Christmas present. It’s more than enough, probably the best present anyone has ever given me. I not only get more time with my children in the future, but I also have some more room to breathe, AND you’ll even do my taxes from now on? It’d be like I’m scamming you if I ask for any more than that. I couldn’t be happier. It’s a continuous present that keeps on giving, it’s more than enough to serve as every future Christmas present from you to me.”

“Haha… I’m glad you like it so much. But… as for your daughter’s present being a request… it will definitely need a restriction on it. I know what she’d ask me for without her even saying it.” ‘Be my friend,’ she’d say innocently as soon as I handed it over.

“You know my daughter so well?”

“Yes. It’s the only thing she’d ask me. She wouldn’t even think about all the other useful things she could ask for. She’d go and waste it immediately the instant I hand it over to her.”

“I see.”

“Oh! I just thought of something. Do you mind if we stop by my place?”

We were already almost back to her place when I suddenly made that selfish request.

“What for?”

“There’s something I want to pick up.”

“Well, I don’t mind.”

It didn’t seem like her household had what I’d thought of. It could provide some entertainment for everyone over the winter break too. I’d buried everything away in the back of my closet. Since I wasn’t using them, I figured I might as well let others use them. It was one of the few things I had.

When we arrived at my place I found the box stored at the back of my closet. I brought it back to the car and put it away in the trunk.

When I returned Irene asked, “What’s in the box?”

“Well, you’ll see tomorrow.”

“I didn’t see any boxes when I went to your place last time.”

“It’s just some stuff stored in my closet where I keep my clothes.”

“Oh. That explains why I didn’t notice it.”

“Yeah. Anyway, let’s go.” I said.

“Why do I suddenly feel like your chauffeur?”

“You aren’t?”

“Would you like to walk back?”

“I’ll just stay here.”

“Good point, let me drive a bit over halfway and ask you then.”

“I concede.”

After that, we chatted about rather inconsequential things. It was all small talk. She’d occasionally laugh and smile at the things I said. Overall, we got along quite well. The two of us had a very strange sort of relationship, yet it didn’t bother us for some reason. Everything was just natural. We were comfortable around each other despite the physical gap in our age. In reality, the mental gap wasn’t too big at all though.

Talking to her alone like this was a pleasant experience. I… actually enjoyed her company.

When we got to her place, we ate a meal together with everyone. They all waited for us to get back. Irene explained us returning together was because she’d coincidentally bumped into me at the convenience store I worked at which was the truth. Nobody found it strange since her original objective had been to grab some things from the convenience store.

I stored the box in my room and prepared my last-minute makeshift Christmas presents for the three women in the house. It seemed I’d be together with them a lot more in the future. We’d all be living together after all. Kind of like… a big family…

Helping each other out… 

Though, it was still a give and take relationship. I’d established it as such.