Rebirth and Second Chances

Chapter 52: Reflections

There was no way to pinpoint where the voice came from, it resonated from everywhere, part and parcel of the landscape, the sound was thunderous. Reverberating around me. Above me. Below me. Through me.

Still, I searched frantically trying to find who, to connect with another living entity, trying to locate the someone or something that had broken the silence within this bleak landscape.

"You are correct that fear played a large role and influenced your decisions and actions, but substantively your ego motivated most of your decisions. You've always held yourself apart. Absolutely some of that was to protect yourself, but a large part of what motivated you was your certitude that you were more evolved.

"You've always thought you were better than others. Above the petty concerns that those you thought beneath you may engage in. Your intellect enhanced that belief and allowed you to look down on both those that would torment or love you. You knew you were smarter, and in your mind, smarter meant better."

I was only finally able to locate where the voice was coming from when Gwyn ap Nudd walked out of the grayness and into view. He looked as majestic and imposing as he had when I'd summoned the Wild Hunt. His eyes still devoid of life, a frankness to his stare that measured you.

I was unsure how I measured up, he allowed no emotion or hint of sympathy to distract from that unyielding gaze. His countenance gave no hint to his thoughts, he remained serene and decisive.

Implacable, he wielded his words as weapons, each reproach targeted strategically to hit their mark.

He refused to allow me to ignore or hide from the truth.

He would always be ruthless in his judgment, and I knew, this conversation was going to be painful. His words were emotionless. He offered enlightenment, not condemnation.

"And in some ways, you were better. You were more intelligent. Intelligent enough to hide.

"Smart enough to figure out how to be as inconspicuous as possible.

"You were well-read, moderately well educated, and quick to learn. Those subjects that interested you, math, history, mythology, you easily mastered.

"But this ease of learning, this gift of intelligence, those abilities the Gods blessed you with, you squandered. You allowed your intelligence to transform from a blessing into a weapon. No longer a gift, you allowed it to mutate into both shield and sword.

"You had the chance to make use of this gift, to create a life of substance, instead of building that life of prosperity and fulfillment, your intelligence made you lazy. You reacted instead of acting. You built your life in response to the dross of slights and insults you suffered. But even as you built this life of safety and invisibility, your intelligence allowed you to foster a hidden belief.

"You were certain you deserved better.

"You recognized intellectually and emotionally that your life was burdened with extreme hardships and concluded if not for those hardships you would have done better.

"Unfortunately, even though you wanted that better life, that life you believed you deserved, you wanted it handed to you. It was yours by right, and you felt no need to work towards what could be.

"Have you ever sought to understand why you resented your life?"

As I pondered his question, I wondered. "How can he know? Know not only my history but a history SYSTEM also claimed would be hidden, even from the Gods of Sidhe?" I spoke aloud that question lost in my confusion.

"How?

"You summoned the Wild Hunt and still ask how?

"The Wild Hunt exists to mete out justice.

"To judge one must see the truth. See past the half-truths and the truths hidden even from oneself. See past the lies. See even those things a person may be afraid to admit to themselves.

"I represent Gwyn ap Nudd. First King of all Sidhe. Before there was Seelie. Before there was Unseelie. Before any of the Gods had kindled the spark of creation to create humanity and man, I was.

"I have seen stars born and died. Seen civilizations that spanned Universes atrophy and wither.

"I am Sidhe incarnate.

"I bring integrity! I assign blame and administer vengeance.

"I balance the scales of justice.

"I am incapable of corruption or bribery. And when I act. I act with full knowledge.

"You summoned me, and in that summons, you gave me permission to search your soul and weigh the consequence of your summons. To determine if your cause was warranted and just.

"In that instance of summoning, I knew you. Your past, present, and future. I knew your sins, all of your sins, both of omission and commission. I knew your fears, your uncertainties, and your shame. And I knew your strengths, your hopes, and your dreams.

"You called the Wild Hunt to judge, and we answered. But make no mistake, you were also judged, if your petition had not been virtuous, you would have paid the price of that summons.

"Here in this place, I am not only Gwyn ap Nudd, but I am also an avatar. System generated. The primal law that transcends Godhood. I act in fulfillment of System's response to events set in motion decades ago.

"There is only one Universal constant that can stay my hand when I act as System Avatar, for in this meeting, I am System

"Gwyn ap Nudd has found your petition worthy. And because your cause was righteous, the Wild Hunt battles even as we speak to right those wrongs that you have alleged. The armies of the Hunt ride. And in their ride, they will cleanse Kel fief. Root out those conspirators that would ignore the limits System has put in place.

"You are beyond that. The events on Talahm do not concern you in this moment. Your concern is one of reflection and decision. Understand without the lens of emotion to cloud your judgment what truly motivates you and how you will move forward.