Pokemon: Reborn As Ditto

Catch My Ass

I decided to stay here for a while, letting the chicken named Delia cook for a proper feast.

The rest of the day was spent lounging on the couch, munching on cookies whenever I felt peckish. The comfort of the house was something else, and I couldn't deny it.

Delia tried to ask me a few times about whether I had a trainer, but I just shook my head and she didn't push the matter. Occasionally, she would sneak a glance at my majestic body, and I could see her face reddening a bit.

A couple of hours later, Ash Ketchum returned home, his clothes a bit dirty. He saw me on the sofa and his eyes widened with amazement.

"A POKEMON!?" he exclaimed, as if he had never seen a Ditto before. "Are you... are you a wild Pokémon?"

I blinked lazily at him, my head still resting against the couch cushion. "Dittoo," I replied, shrugging.

Ash's face lit up with even more excitement. "You must be wild! What are you doing here? Are you looking for a trainer?"

I shrugged again and burrowed deeper into the couch cushions. Delia chuckled and shook her head at Ash's energy.

"Give him some space, Ash. He looks uncomfortable."

Ash nodded eagerly, his eyes never leaving mine. "Yeah, yeah, of course! I'll just... uh... go clean up first, then I can ask you all sorts of questions!"

I let out a sigh. This was the life. Way better than being stuck in a Poké Ball. It made me understand how much pets apparently enjoyed life, if they get a proper house that is. 

I dozed off to the sound of Ash rummaging around upstairs and the TV playing softly downstairs. Delia sat next to me, gently stroking my head. It actually felt kinda nice.

After a while, Ash came back down, looking a little less like a walking disaster zone. He plopped down next to Delia, his eyes glued to me.

His sudden movement jerked my body up from couch a bit, breaking my light dozing. 

Fucking hell kid, can't a ditto just sleep in peace! I had to do many things at night too!

"Mom, do you think we could catch it? Dittos are so strong!"

Delia laughed softly. "We'll see, Ash. It depends if Ditto wants to be caught."

Ash's face fell. "Aw, man…"

Delia ruffled his hair, which just seemed to annoy him. She was right, though. No way was I letting myself get caught.

I had plans, and they didn't involve being stuck inside a Poké Ball and fighting like a slave for entertainment.

"Besides," Delia added, "you haven't even gotten your starter Pokémon from Professor Oak yet! You can't catch another Pokémon before you get your first one."

Ash deflated like a popped balloon.

Wow! This was too perfect. Not only was I free, but the kid didn't even have any Poké Balls!

"Don't worry," he mumbled, glaring at me. "Tomorrow, I'm getting my Pokémon. And then, Ditto, you're mine!"

The fuck? 

I stuck my tongue out at him and climbed onto Delia's lap, snuggling into her for good measure. She laughed and wrapped her arms around me.

"Looks like he's made his choice, Ash," she said, amusement in her voice.

Ash's jaw dropped. I could practically see the gears turning in his head as he tried to figure out a way to catch me.

Suddenly, his eyes widened as if struck by a brilliant idea. He jumped to his feet and pointed a finger at me, determination burning in his eyes.

"Okay, Ditto," he declared. "How about a battle? If I win, you let me catch you! And if you win…" He paused, racking his brain. "If you win, you can have all the cookies you want!"

I almost laughed. Did he really think cookies were enough to tempt me? This kid was delusional, but then again, you don't become Ash Motherfucking Ketchum without a bit of that.

This guy had jumped into middle of Mew and Mewtwo attack, yeah, something crazy was totally there.

I burrowed deeper into Delia's lap, turning my head away from Ash with an exaggerated "Diiitttt-to."

Ash frowned. "What does that mean? Come on, Ditto, it'll be fun!"

To emphasize my point, I let out a loud yawn, stretching my body dramatically. "Di-tooo..."

Delia chuckled, patting my head. "I think he's saying no, Ash. He looks pretty comfy, don't you think?"

Ash crossed his arms, pouting, but he didn't argue further. "Fine," he grumbled. "But tomorrow, Ditto, you better be ready for a real battle!"

I just snuggled closer to Delia, letting out a contented sigh.

It wasn't entirely a lie. Transforming took effort, and frankly, battling a ten-year-old with zero Pokémon experience sounded about as thrilling as watching paint dry.

Delia chuckled and stroked my back. "I think Ditto's had enough excitement for one day, Ash. Besides, you have a big day tomorrow, getting your first Pokémon. You should get some rest."

Ash opened his mouth to argue, then seemed to think better of it. He sighed dramatically.

"Fine," he grumbled. "But tomorrow, Ditto, you better be ready for a real battle!"

You realize you just repeated your sentence, word by word?

I stifled a yawn. Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, kid. For now, I was perfectly content to relax in Delia's warm embrace, enjoying the simple pleasures of being a pampered house-Pokémon… 

Ash nodded eagerly to himself, as if he has made me agree to the challenge, his eyes shining with determination behind the curtain of messy brown hair that Delia was teasingly ruffling.

I could see that he was a bit annoyed by the gesture, but I remained silent.

Teenagers... what can you even say?

"I'll get you tomorrow, Ditto," he muttered, his voice low with resolve.

In your dreams, dumbass.

I just snuggled deeper into Delia's lap, my appendages wrapping around her waist, feeling the warmth and suppleness of her body and the comfort of her embrace.

Meanwhile, Delia's face had gone a bit red due to the closeness of mine and her body, the scenes of earlier today no doubt plaguing her mind.

As I basked in the warmth of Delia's lap, my mind wandered over the information I'd gathered. I was in the anime world of Pokémon, and Ash was about to embark on his very first journey as a trainer.

I couldn't help but ponder if this was merely a coincidence that I, a great Ditt-i mean human, had stumbled into this world just two days before the plot begins to unfold.

'Nah, bullshit,' I thought to myself. 'No way is this a coincidence.'

But even as I grumbled about the suspicious timing, my body relaxed further into Delia's embrace. It wasn't that it mattered right now; the 'who reincarnated me and why' questions would have to wait. For the time being, I was content to enjoy this warm, comforting lap - and the delightful booty called Delia.
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