My Upgrades Are Invincible

Chapter 1

I wish I could recount how I was reincarnated in this new world by meeting an otherworldly being. Who was all knowing and would entrust me with the sacred task to save to safe the world and I would promise to do so and collect a harem in the process leading an amazing life in doing so. But no I literally woke up in the perfect definition of filth. I started my new life waking up to the vile smell of being in a trash can in the red light district of Orario.

Safe to say I promptly threw my self into the nearest canal I could find and all though the water was a little murky frankly even if it was sewage I would have felt cleaner than having the stink of Ishtar on me. I knew for a fact this is Danmachi because I could see the Tower of Babel in the distance. That tower was so insanely tall it literally went past the clouds and contrasted heavily with the medieval buildings around me so it was easy to recognize in a fantasy world with all the animal people running around to collaborate it.

I leaned over the canals bridge and looked into the waters reflection as I tried to make a plan of action. 'Ok Jake you got a couple options here. I at least am an adult so most lower level Familia's would probably be willing to give me a chance, But then again they are lower level Familia's and I likely wont be able to get much support and frankly I have no idea if I could even hope to join a higher level group unless Freya has already locked onto my foreign soul and decides to just snatch me up instead of her usual games she plays on her targets.' I mentally thought.

Sighing I cast my thoughts of whether I would get ahead and just starred into the refection and noticed I was probably de-aged a bit I was no longer someone in there mid twenties and I looked more like I did when I was in my late teens with bright blond hair and my most defining feature ocean green eyes but I was a lanky kid even though I tried to get into sports but I could never bulk up.

'Well I never watched the anime past the whole Xeno saga I kind of lost interest in it and I just started getting a lot more into League of Legends at the time so I don't think there is some massive world ending threats that are coming but I know I need to do something about what happened to Artemis um I think it was Antares that did it but I don't know all the details.'

I stopped leaning up against the canal bridges and started walking towards the massive tower in the distance if anything I could find news on a new Familia being formed in the Guild. If I recall correctly the Guild was in charge of registering Adventures and frankly I bet I could find Hestia or perhaps another god or goddess who was hopefully rather chill.

I had zero intention of joining the likes of Apollo or another insane divine who would probably throw me to my death and just laugh it off, seeing as they literally see us mortals as just children and children are supposed to be seen and not heard. That seemed to be there policy of keeping us as fancy trophies to show off to one another for the most part even though there were plenty of other gods who treated mortals better but I imagine there were largely the minority.

After walking for what seemed like an hour I finally reached the Guild and I knew it was the building because it was literally attached to Babel and there was a sign in front of it and after staring at it for a few moments I was able to translate the badly screwed up Engrish characters into normal English lettering and be able to read it aloud "Orario Guild huh." I muttered and seeing the heavily armed adventures going in and out of the building basically confirmed it.

I walked into the Guild and after seeing the couches lining the walls and people sitting around talking to people wearing matching uniforms I quietly went to sit down and I could see I was getting some odd looks as I was basically in a T- Shirt and some pajama pants but then again I think it was the quality of the graphic on my T-shirt attracting there attention.

It read "Keep calm and use Magic." Simple enough but the attention grabbing aspect was the picture above the words that showed an old wizard on the front holding a staff that was shooting lightning at a dragon in the sky who was blowing flames at a helpless village.

I just now came to the realization that this was a Medieval Fantasy world and even with magic no one would spend the probably months to make this shirt without ridiculous amounts of money being spent on its creation.

I just tried blending in and picked up a book on a nearby table and, after a while people stopping paying attention to me after what seemed like an hour or two of painfully reading the what I found to be a Dungeon guide to the top few upper levels I was confident I could probably do a bit of paperwork without looking like an uneducated idiot.

I then decided to stop burning daylight and walked up to an unoccupied woman working at one of the tills from what I could see she had shoulder length pink hair and a bright smile as she was talking to another of her colleagues. "Excuse me miss you got a minute?" I cut in as they turned back to me with her colleague turning to me and I recognized her as the half elf Eina something that spent basically all her screen time yelling out Bell's business in the middle of the guild or bullying him as a sort of overbearing big sister figure in public. Eina looked so much more real being in front of her now, and seeing one of those characters we admired in a different world just hammered in I am so far from home.

"Yes how may I help you?" The petit pink haired guild employee stated with an raised eyebrow at me.

"I was just curious what the best way of becoming an adventure is. Like should I join a Familia or should I just register here first?" I said casually and I could see this approach was in line with Eina's thoughts as she nodded firmly and aggressively cut off the pink haired girl before she could speak.

"Great thinking! Coming here first is the correct first move because we keep a list of Familia's that are actively recruiting newbies. Now I can tell you ummmm aren't all that martially inclined do you have any other skill set that could interest other parties?" Erm I highly doubt being able to burp almost the whole alphabet would interest many gods nor is my previous jobs in the IT industry going to help me worth a damn in this world without any computers...

Knowing that saying nope I have zero skills currently in the monster slaying business will probably lead me to being quickly sidelined to a production based Familia like Demeter or alike, I used the same bullshit we learned in school to pad out a resume. "I may not be currently experienced in those endeavors but I am sure with a bit of practice and guidance I will be able to excel in that field in no time at all," I said with a bright smile.

The pink haired girl just snorted in amusement making Eina round on her and hiss "Misha shut up. You know Royman is looking for a reason to fire you!" She turned back to me and Misha just giggled in response to the scolding and I could see a vein pop up on the side of Eina's forehead and her hands curling up into fists as she sat in front of me. She noticeably took a deep breath and sent a swift swing of her arms that sent made Misha back up. "Misha let me take care of this, for now go work on my paperwork for now. Its not like I don't take over your work most of the time anyway." She muttered with a scowl.

Misha slumped like a dog being told to go to bed or jump in a bath I almost wanted to console her but seeing the other employee's ignoring her steadfastly I held in my response until she sat down in a back table and started writing making Eina deflate in relief. I guess she didn't expect Misha to follow her order's

"Ok so I am guessing you either are looking for a new Familia or one willing to take in new adventurer's correct?" She questioned me seriously.

I nodded and said "I think I would probably fit in better with a newer Familia, I don't plan on spending a couple years stuck as a supporter even if it would be the safer option." I could see her disagreement with what I said but then again her motto was Adventurer's shouldn't go on adventures, because frankly the dungeon just wanted us all dead and being a hero is only rewarded with more danger.

She gave a weak smile answering "Well in that case in the last couple years there have been a few new Familia's taking form. Lets see here now." She reached below the desk and took out a few papers and leafed through them for a couple moments scanning them. "Ok so you got a couple options here I can see for your first option though I don't think you would fit in there is the Kama Familia, they are um part of the red light district so I wouldn't suggest them." I waved my hand back and forth signaling my firm rejection along with having a grimace. I had no zero interest probably being charmed by those sex or love gods into becoming there slaves.

"There are two other options I know of first is the Da or sometimes otherwise known as Hebe Familia or lastly um they are literally brand new and with only a single member within. It's the Hestia Familia." Huh I honestly didn't think she would even recommend them but then again I doubt Bell has started his shenanigans just yet.

I put up a thinking face for a few moments before answering. "Would it be possible for me to meet the member of the Hestia family or meet the Goddess in person beforehand? I just don't want to show up on there front door and it go poorly."

She nodded and started writing. "I will make a sort of map from the guild to where they live and also a small letter of introduction to go with it now what's your name I don't think we exchanged our names and if you end up joining the Hestia Familia you will probably end up also having me as your guild advisor so my name is Eina. nice to meet you." She said somewhat hunched over her paper and she seemed to be pausing at times probably to remind herself as to where Bell lived in this literal maze of a city.

"Uh my name is Jake Barris. Thank you for the future advice I guess?" I said unsurely to which Eina just nodded clearly not paying any attention to me past hearing my name.

After a couple minutes of Eina working on the map she stopped and handed it to me and it seemed to be an actual map of the city but she just drew a line to where Hestia's church likely was but the map also outlined more important things like where other Familia's lived and some guild approved places to buy adventurer gear like weapons, armor, and potions.

After taking in the details of the map I could see her actually writing the so called letter of referral and it didn't seem to be much seeing as she literally only wrote two or three sentences and then after stretching she put the letter in a envelope and sealed it. "Ok Jake this is addressed to the goddess Hestia just follow the map and be on your best behavior. I don't really know too much about her to be honest but what I do know is that she isn't as capricious as other gods so you should be in good hands, just make sure to listen to the other member if you join I have given him many lessons about the dungeon thus he knows what he is generally doing. So long as you follow along with him you should be fine..." She muttered to herself at the end. I was reminded that Eina has a bit of a reputation of being a mother hen after she lost several adventurers she was assigned to mentor which could be a bit of an explanation of why she hover's over Bell so much, well other than going after the guy romantically.

Actually I literally have reincarnated in a harem novel should I try to get with some of the cast members... Eh Ais may be super cute but she is too much of a ditz and frankly the rest of the Loki's girls are kind of racist being elves and the amazons are already well stuck in who they are obsessed with if I recall correctly but Haruhime on the other hand...

Lets just get too Hestia for now, I can't change the narrative without the strength to face the consequences of being unable to flaunt the guilds rules about snatching her away not to mention they have several level fours and a level five...

I swiftly walked through the winding streets of Orario and it was entering twilight as I finally managed to locate the frankly run down church, as I was studying the run down abomination I saw one of the stone shingles hanging off the side of the church fall off with a loud Crack! and shatter into pieces.

Thud Thud Crack! I heard voices approaching and a muffled curse as a younger boy ran out of the dilapidated church holding a long knife in his hands and seeing me in front of there church still looking at the collapsed shingle I pointed at it. "I had nothing to do with this..." I said weakly.

Bell looked around for anyone else before sighing and seeing me obviously unarmed in my T-shirt and pajama pants disregarded me as a threat and put on a disarming smile as he put away his knife. "Hey sorry if I scared you but you never know if there was a vandal or robber this is kind of a bad neighborhood." No! vandals wouldn't even bother with this shithole! Was my only thought as Bell looked up at me bashfully. "So what can I do for you?" He asked cheerfully

I exhaled and let go of my thoughts of the present and looked at Bell Cranel the protagonist of the story he who fates bends over backwards for with a literal magical skill that makes his life easier with ample good luck, and seriously stated "As the Hestia Familia captain I have been recommended to hand this letter of recommendation to your goddess for me to join your Familia." I handed letter I was keeping in my pocket to the bewildered young man and I could see where people called him the Little Rabbit as his surprised face with his snow white hair and red eyes made him look like a surprised rabbit.

"Ehhhh you really want to join our Familia!" He cried out in shock as I numbly nodded seeing his exaggerated response.

Crash! the door behind slammed open and a blur ran out and jumped on Bells back crying out cheerfully making them spin around several till she hopped off the poor boy and stood up proudly in front of me with her arms akimbo propping up her already large chest as though the duo's little celebration never happened and with how none of her hair was even out of place I would have believed it if it wasn't for Bell holding his head and light crouched over and mumbling about the world spinning.

"I am Hestia the goddess in charge of this Familia I welcome you to my home." She said proudly before stopping and looked embarrassed "Uh what's your name again..." Me and Bell both sent each other consternating looks that expressed on my part "Really dude?" and his responded with a pitiful "I know its the best we got though..."

I gave a wry smile and handed the Letter of Introduction to Hestia. "Hello Lady Hestia its nice to meet you now, and I have come to hopefully join you're Familia." I said respectfully.

Hestia sniffled for a couple moments and then cried out and rushed over to me and gave me a projectile hug straight into my chest thank the gods she was so light it would have been super awkward if she knocked me on my ass. "Finally people actually wanna join my Familia on there own. I don't have to beg anyone to join, only to be rejected Wahhhh." She yelled into my arms as I gave her a gentle hug while throwing an expression that could only mean "Help me!!" To Bell but it seemed he has already built an immunity to her antics as he just gave me and awkward smile and just gestured for me to pull her back into the church's wide open door.

It took a couple moment's to settle down Hestia and like how a person would guide a terribly drunk person I helped the hyperventilating goddess back into her church. "Sooo I am guessing that is a yes to my joining?" I said lightly to which Bell nodded with a smile and Hestia's aggressive nod that made me fear for her safety. "Ok so do I strip now?" I asked gently making Bell choke and Hestia nod blankly before my words caught up and blushed heavily.