My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

"That was his first kill." Si Zhening's eyes were half lidded, staring into nowhere blankly. "I have no idea what Nan Cheng has done to turn him like that but it was already too late when I found out. Nan Xukun has been broken beyond recovery."

Qin Weizhe's pen halted atop of the paper which was already filled with dense writing. "Who was the victim?"

"Nan Cheng's ex secretary until two years ago." Si Zhening answered. "I forgot her name but you can check it out yourself. She's one of the students he sponsored. As you know, everyone who got a scholarship from the foundation he set up has to work for Henan Corporation for a period of time. That woman was Nan Cheng's probationary secretary."

"Why did Nan Xukun kill her?" Qin Weizhe wondered. "It was his first kill so there ought to be a strong stimulus that triggered that, right?"

Si Zhening stared at him with hardly any change in his expression. "I never asked."

Shivers ran down Qin Weizhe's spine and he gave a thrilling smile. He couldn't imagine being in Si Zhening's shoes. If he walked in and saw his nephew hacking someone to pieces, would he still be able to react as calmly? "So what did you do? Help him bury the body?" He asked in a sarcastic tone.

To his surprise, Si Zhening nodded. "Yes, you're right."

Qin Weizhe almost choked on his saliva. 

"Hmm...I buried her on the mountain where you found us. But I doubt whether you can still find her remains."

"What about the evidence? The murder weapon?"

"I dispose of all of them."

Veins popped up in Qin Weizhe's forehead and he slammed his pen down to the table with a loud bang. Laughing, he said in an exasperated tone. "Listen here, Mr. Si, do you know that covering a crime is as heavy of a punishment as the crime itself?"

"I know. After going home that day, I started to learn how the law works. I know perfectly what I will be subjected to by helping him, but I don't regret it."

"Why? Because he is Si Qingzhao's son?"

"That's right."

This man… Qin Weizhe held his forehead and sighed. If he said that Si Zhening was ruthless, that's also not quite accurate because he's more naive than anybody else. Little things like this reminded Qin Weizhe how single-minded the man in front of him was.

From the start to the end, he only had Si Qingzhao in his eyes. His actions, words, behavior, all of them revolved around her. And after her death, he transferred all of that attention to her son.

"Continue," Qin Weizhe said helplessly.

Ever since Si Zhening found out about the ruthlessness in Nan Xukun, he started to interact with the teenagers more often. Along the way, he found out a few things. 

First, there were two contrasted sides to Nan Xukun; simply put, the good and the evil. When Si Zhening tried to confront him about the murder another day, what he got was only a blank and confused look. The 'good' Nan Xukun had no idea what the 'evil' Nan Xukun had done. However, sometimes he would have nightmares of the brutal and bloody scenes the 'evil' Nan Xukun had done. Of course, with Si Zhening's superb negotiation skill, he managed to convince the teenager that everything was just a dream. Since then, the 'good' Nan Xukun would consume sleeping pills once in a while to shield him from the nightmare.

"It's not sleeping pills, right?" Qin Weizhe asked.

"That's right. It's an antipsychotic medicine that's used to treat schizophrenia. I couldn't bring Nan Xukun to get therapy because Nan Cheng would target me, so that's the only way I could think of that might possibly cure him."

Qin Weizhe wrote 'antipsychotic' and 'schizophrenia' in his notebook. Hearing Si Zhening, he lifted his head. "Nan Cheng knows?"

Si Zhening scoffed. "What do you think?"

"Right…" He mumbled. "There's no way he wouldn't know." This man, Nan Cheng, exactly how many things had he hid all these years? It was terrifying just to imagine that. Clicking his tongue, he returned to the topic. "But then the medicines you brought didn't work." 

If the medicine did have an effect on Nan Xukun, then the subsequent murders wouldn't have happened.

"At first, it did." Si Zhening sighed. "The evil side of him didn't appear for quite a long period of time. I thought everything was under control and let my guard down for a moment. But then, he went and killed an innocent girl. He said that he was enraged because that girl had such a good relationship with his father. Later I found out that he had a huge fight with Nan Cheng on that exact day."

Qin Weizhe rubbed his chin. He must be talking about the first victim the police found, Qian Ke. 

It seemed like Nan Cheng had a huge effect on Nan Xukun. Qin Weizhe really wanted to peel every single thing off their mouths but Nan Cheng was currently keeping mum and letting his lawyer do the job while Nan Xukun was still unconscious in the hospital. 

Furthermore, the higher-ups were in total chaos. Almost half of them had once gotten help from Nan Cheng and now that the said man was sitting in the middle of the storm, they started to get antsy. On the other hand, Jiang Huocheng also exerted his authority to drag the guilty party out to light. He even went as far as to get the President's support. 

The power struggle hidden underneath the current was too strong, just with a single wave, a few people would be washed away.

Well, compared to the time when they were still blind and being led around the nose by the serial killer, Qin Weizhe should already be grateful that the remaining job to do was to tie the loose ends. 

He rapped his fingers on the table, all the while observing Si Zhening. The man looked totally unaffected even with his future already ruined. Once again, his outlook on how far human beings could go keeps being refreshed just with this single case that had started brewing a decade ago. 

"Can I ask you for a favor, Detective Qin?" Si Zhening suddenly asked. 

"What? Do you want to plead with me to reduce Nan Xukun's sentence?"

Si Zhening shook his head. "There's something I want to confess. The vague area where you still haven't got the answer to such as the one who incited Li Qing to commit suicide, the one who cleared the CCTV footage everytime Nan Xukun acted, also...the one who kidnapped CEO Jiang's son… I want to confess to all of them. In exchange, when Nan Xukun receives his punishment later, can I go with him?"

Qin Weizhe was rendered speechless. He scratched his head in frustration and sighed. "I need to discuss it with the others first."

"That's alright. Thank you very much, Detective Qin."

This was the first time Qin Weizhe met a person who was almost eager to receive punishment. It was so ridiculous that he couldn't bear to stay there any longer. Standing up, he gave Si Zhening a perplexed look and gingerly patted his shoulder. "You...really love Si Qingzhao, huh?"

Si Zhening was taken aback. "Love…?"

"Following her whenever she went, protecting her, persistently avenging her even after more than ten years of her death…" Qin Weizhe chuckled and walked out, leaving a single sentence. "If this isn't love, then I don't know what to call it."

Si Zhening was still dumbfounded, even after another police officer came to escort him back to his cell. 

Love…? What was love, he wondered? He was abandoned by his parents, bullied by his peers and even his adopted parents never gave him any affection more than the basic necessity. Growing up, he had never tasted the sweetness of love. 

Was love the feeling when her image still lingered in his mind even after such a long time? Was it when he closed his eyes and still reminisced about the time he spent with her? Or was it when her very existence brought light and colors into his life and when she was gone, what remained was only dullness and gray?

If so, then…

Si Zhening looked down toward the handcuff around his wrist and let out a sigh. "Haa…" His lips quivered and tears fell down one droplet after another onto his palm. It was scalding, just like her tears all those years ago. "So this is love…"

It was painful, bitter yet sweet nonetheless.

Throughout twenty five years of his life, this was the first time Si Zhening had cried. 

He loved her. 

He always did, but...sadly, he realized it too late.

.

.

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A/N: this is for tying the loose end of Si Zhening's story QAQ I found it ironic how he felt like he had received nothing. He is just blinded after Si Qingzhao's death. Si Yusheng, Jia Renyu, and moreover Jia Ming'en, they more or less cared for him...   

Next, we will return to Jiang Jinyan and Shi Nian. It's about time for him to wake up ;)