My Beloved Concubine Only Wants to Eat Melons

This was truly exhilarating.0

You must understand, this was the Minister of Rites! The highest official in charge of the five rites and ceremonies at court!0

Who could have imagined that this old man, who constantly preached about propriety and morality, could do something so morally bankrupt!!!0

At this moment, everything else happening around became secondary, as Yanshu eagerly began to indulge in this juicy gossip.0

[What's the situation? Tell me quickly.]0

System: [You know the Minister of Rites has two sons, right?]0

Yanshu: [I know, isn't his eldest son Consort An's father? The one who's currently the Assistant Minister of the Court of State Ceremonial?]0

Suddenly her eyes widened, [Don't tell me the one he's having an affair with is Consort An's mother?]0

Not far away, the emperor accurately picked up on this sentence amidst the surprised inner voices, and couldn't help but pause quietly.0

An affair?0

Consort An's mother?0

Could it be... she's talking about the Minister of Rites?0

System: [You're overthinking it. Even if that lady wanted to, this old man probably wouldn't be interested. His younger son has been sickly since childhood and doesn't have much ability. But his wife, Lady Zhao, is quite shrewd. After marriage, seeing that she couldn't rely on her husband, she started an affair with the old man to secure benefits for herself. Because of this, the old man often favors the second household, causing much dissatisfaction in the first household.]0

Yanshu clicked her tongue, [So it seems this father-in-law and daughter-in-law have been having an affair for many years? Hasn't anyone in the Minister of Rites' household discovered it? Is his younger son content with wearing a green hat for so many years?]0

Yuwen Lan, who had been quietly listening, paused. It really was about the Minister of Rites?0

System: [The old man's wife died many years ago, so there's no one to keep an eye on things. That younger son gets out of breath just walking a few steps, and usually sleeps separately from his wife, so of course he hasn't discovered anything.]0

Yanshu clicked her tongue again, [With his younger son in such poor health, how could this father be so heartless as to steal his son's wife? Doesn't he fear that one day his younger son might die and come back as a ghost to seek revenge?]0

As she spoke, she secretly glanced at the Minister of Rites who was talking to the emperor, and inwardly spat, [What a scoundrel!]0

Nearby, Yuwen Lan, who had silently listened to everything, "..."0

Well, he could probably guess what this was all about now.0

Glancing at the Minister of Rites in front of him, who was vehemently denying the matter of a concubine, he said, "Given to your son? Your eldest son is also not young, and your younger son is congenitally weak, right? Tell me, which son did you give her to? Is your daughter-in-law... willing?"0

He deliberately emphasized the words "daughter-in-law", and sure enough, he saw the Minister of Rites pause, panic rising in his heart.0

[What, what does this mean? Could it be... could it be that His Majesty knows???]0

Yuwen Lan was inwardly certain now, so it really was true!!!0

He temporarily concealed his shock and spoke again meaningfully, "If you don't want others to know, then don't do it yourself."0

The Minister of Rites stood dazed for a few seconds.0

But then he suddenly knelt down and wept bitterly, "This old minister knows his crime, please forgive me, Your Majesty. This matter was originally because Duke Cheng'en was concerned about Noble Consort Zhou and wanted this old minister to find an opportunity to put in a good word. But Noble Consort Zhou is virtuous and gentle, there was no need for this minister to say anything... I will return them immediately."0

As soon as he finished speaking, before Yuwen Lan could say anything, Duke Cheng'en, who was kneeling nearby, suddenly went limp and fell to the side.0

The hall immediately erupted in shocked cries.0

Noble Consort Zhou couldn't help but rush forward, crying out, "Father!"0

However, after calling several times, Duke Cheng'en showed no response.0

Noble Consort Zhou hurriedly turned back to plead with Yuwen Lan, "I beg Your Majesty to quickly summon the imperial physician to save my father."0

Yuwen Lan coldly said, "Isn't there already one in the hall?"0

Saying this, he looked at the physician who had just spoken truthfully for Yanshu, and said, "You come and take a look at Duke Cheng'en."0

The physician complied and went to Duke Cheng'en's side to examine him.0

Everyone watched intently, not understanding what was happening.0

Only Yanshu continued to enjoy the drama while clicking her tongue, [This physician has a straightforward personality and high medical skills. If he diagnoses that Duke Cheng'en has overdosed on pure aphrodisiacs and says it out loud... Hahaha, that would be so exciting, hahaha!!!]0

Yuwen Lan, "..."0

She really does love to watch the drama unfold!0

However, things turned out exactly as she predicted.0

After a short while, the physician said to the emperor, "Your Majesty, Duke Cheng'en has fainted due to kidney yang deficiency. It seems he has recently indulged in excessive sexual activity, severely depleting his body."0

As soon as he finished speaking, everyone's eyes widened—0

Excessive sexual indulgence?0

Tsk tsk, it's worth noting that not only the people in the palace, but all those participating in the ceremony today were supposed to observe abstinence for three days.0

Duke Cheng'en actually managed to... indulge in sexual activity during this period???0

And to excess???0

Noble Consort Zhou panicked and immediately rebuked, "Don't talk nonsense! It's currently the fasting period, how could Duke Cheng'en do such a preposterous thing?"0

But the physician replied, "As a medical practitioner, I would never falsely state a patient's condition. If I were to delay treatment due to false diagnosis, I would fear divine punishment. Duke Cheng'en's condition is critical now. If we don't treat him quickly according to his symptoms, I'm afraid he might not wake up."0

"This..."0

Noble Consort Zhou was frightened by his words.0

It was Yuwen Lan who spoke, "Then quickly treat him."0

The physician complied and immediately took out a set of silver needles from his sleeve, beginning to insert them into several acupoints on Duke Cheng'en's body.0

Everyone craned their necks, watching intently.0

After a short while, Duke Cheng'en indeed slowly regained consciousness.0

However, his face was now distorted, his body extremely weak. He wanted to call out "Your Majesty", but couldn't make a sound for a long time.0

Let alone stand up.0

Seeing this, everyone inwardly clicked their tongues—at such an age, still indulging in excessive sexual activity, how embarrassing to lose face in front of the ancestors.0

But how should they address this breach of abstinence? Surely His Majesty couldn't cover it up?0

Just then, they heard the emperor say sternly, "Duke Cheng'en, as a royal relative, you indulged in sexual activity during the fasting period, which is truly outrageous! Even if I could tolerate it, the ancestral laws and the common people cannot. Moreover, you bribed officials, attempting to disrupt the court! Effective immediately, you are stripped of your official position, fined three years' salary, and Noble Consort Zhou is demoted to the rank of consort."0

As soon as he finished speaking, the hall was stunned into silence.0

Noble Consort Zhou nearly fainted, hurriedly kneeling down and pleading, "Your Majesty, please show mercy. Duke Cheng'en just accidentally..."0

But Yuwen Lan cut her off, saying, "Was it really an accident? Then who caused this accident?"0

Noble Consort Zhou was stunned, suddenly feeling extremely panicked.0

Could it be... he knows?0

If he investigates the matter of drugging...0

Wouldn't the consequences be even more severe?0

She dared not say anything more, and then heard Yuwen Lan continue, "This is already a lenient punishment, considering the Empress Dowager's feelings. If you dare to commit any other offenses, there will be no leniency!"0

After speaking, he looked at the crowd in the hall and said sternly, "Let this be a warning to all present today!"0

Everyone responded in unison, while inwardly they were extremely shocked—0

The Empress Dowager's own niece, just like that, lost her position as Noble Consort!!!0

Of course, given the offense Duke Cheng'en committed, it wouldn't have been excessive even to strip the Zhou family of their ducal title. But clearly, the emperor had considered the Empress Dowager's face and didn't push things to the extreme.0

However, for others... that might not be the case.0

At this moment, the Minister of Revenue, Chai Weizhong, was already drenched in sweat, his legs trembling.0

The white-haired Minister of Rites was shaking like a sieve.0

Then, they saw the emperor address the two Chief Censors, saying, "Fish brains from a thousand fish made into tofu, crab meat from ten thousand crabs made into crab paste, the Minister of Revenue's household spending over ten thousand taels of silver on a single meal – do I need to tell you about this?"0

The two men fell to their knees in fear, saying in unison, "It was our negligence."0

Yuwen Lan said coldly, "Was it really negligence, or were you also involved?"0

The two kept kowtowing, saying, "We wouldn't dare."0

Yuwen Lan said, "If you don't investigate this matter thoroughly, you two can also step down."0

The two hurriedly agreed.0

Yuwen Lan then walked towards the hall entrance.0

He could still hear various people's inner thoughts—0

[Indeed, nothing escapes His Majesty's eyes!]0

[It seems the Zhou family's glory and favor ends here today.]0

[Moving against the Zhou family like this, I wonder if it will cause a rift between His Majesty and the Empress Dowager? I hope nothing major happens!]0

Among them, only one person caught his particular attention—0

[Damn, was he just bluffing the Minister of Rites earlier, or does he really know about that old man's affair with his daughter-in-law?]0

Yanshu looked bewildered, [Damn, was I not the first to know about this juicy gossip??? Help!!!]0

Yuwen Lan inwardly smiled faintly, leaving with an inscrutable expression.0

In the Palace of Benevolent Peace.0

Having lost her position as Noble Consort and watching her father being carried away with a distorted face, Consort Zhou could only come here to appeal to the Empress Dowager.0

It was only now that the Empress Dowager learned what a monumentally stupid thing her niece had done.0

After hearing her out, the Empress Dowager nearly fainted. Several palace maids, including Zhushu Matron, hurriedly came forward, patting her back and helping her breathe, preventing her from passing out.0

When she had somewhat recovered, the Empress Dowager pointed angrily at her niece's nose and said, "You truly are a hopeless case! I only told you to deliver some snacks, who told you to go beyond that? Do you know what a grave offense it is to drug the emperor? Not to mention you, even I might not be able to protect myself!"0

Even if she didn't know before, Noble Consort Zhou now understood. She could only cover her face and cry bitterly, "Niece knows her crime, please save niece, aunt..."0

Without her position as Noble Consort, what did she have left to live for?0

So she deliberately addressed the Empress Dowager as aunt, vainly hoping that the Empress Dowager would help her for the sake of family ties.0

However, the Empress Dowager merely slapped her face and told her to get out.0

"From now on, you are forbidden to come to the Palace of Benevolent Peace. Don't let me see you again!"0

After speaking, she ordered her servants to drive her out.0

Noble Consort Zhou, oh no, now she should be called Consort Zhou — the emperor had just lowered her rank, not even giving her an honorary title.0

Consort Zhou could only cry all the way back to her own Zhongcui Palace.0

When Yuwen Lan arrived at the Palace of Benevolent Peace, the Empress Dowager was reclining on her couch, looking unwell.0

He immediately went to the couch and bowed his head, saying, "I've come to ask for Mother's forgiveness. A most absurd incident occurred during today's ceremony, and I had no choice but to punish Uncle and demote the Noble Consort."0

The Empress Dowager sighed and said, "It's my fault for not managing the Zhou family properly, causing trouble for Your Majesty."0

Yuwen Lan said, "I believe Uncle was just momentarily confused, but it happened during the ceremony in front of everyone. If we don't punish him, I'm afraid others might follow suit, and our rituals will become a laughingstock."0

"Your Majesty prioritizes the bigger picture, which is a blessing for the empire."0

The Empress Dowager sighed again softly, but then suddenly changed the subject, saying, "However, it's not right for the six palaces to be without a mistress. I still hope Your Majesty can quickly determine the position of Empress to put everyone's mind at ease."0

"Although Li Beauty suits Your Majesty's taste, her family's official rank is too low to truly command respect. Why not have the Ministry of Rites recommend noble ladies from prestigious families after spring, so that the selection of an Empress can be settled soon?"0

Yuwen Lan knew that the Empress Dowager had given up on the Zhou family women and was planning to cultivate new talent.0

But he didn't want to give in, so he said, "It's my fault for making Mother worry about this. I will keep it in mind, but after spring, the Ministry of Rites needs to prepare for the spring imperial examinations. The matter of recommendations will have to wait for now."0

The Empress Dowager closed her eyes and said, "Let it be as Your Majesty wishes. I'm tired, Your Majesty should go rest as well."0

Yuwen Lan agreed and took his leave.0

As he reached the door, he heard the Empress Dowager sigh in her heart, [After all, he's not my own flesh and blood. Never mind.]0

His heart sank, but he didn't stop walking and left the Palace of Benevolent Peace directly.0

Yuwen Lan didn't take the imperial carriage, instead walking aimlessly in the cold wind. When he came to his senses, he was already outside the Ganlu Palace.0

He heard Fu Hai clicking his tongue in his mind, [Your Majesty really misses Li Beauty, rushing here as soon as the ceremony ended.]0

Yuwen Lan, "..."0

Actually, he hadn't rushed over, he just somehow ended up here.0

However, since he had something to ask her anyway, he stepped into the hall.0

Upon entering, he saw Yanshu writing at a table. She only put down her brush and hurriedly rose to greet him when she heard the announcement, "This humble consort greets Your Majesty."0

As she spoke, she secretly glanced at his expression, pondering in her heart, [He seems a bit unhappy? Could it be that the Empress Dowager scolded him?]0

Yuwen Lan, "..."0

Had his emotions become so apparent on his face?0

So he quickly composed himself and said, "Rise," then asked her, "Writing another novel?"0

Yanshu said yes.0

Yuwen Lan became a bit interested and asked her, "What new story have you written this time?"0

Yanshu coughed and said, "This humble consort is writing about a woman who was deceived by a scumbag, but after discovering the truth, she bravely fought back and became self-reliant."0

Yuwen Lan didn't quite understand and asked, "What does 'scumbag' mean?"0

Yanshu explained, "It means a bad man. They deceive women's feelings at will, without any sense of propriety or shame, just like the useless pulp left after we finish eating sugarcane."0

Yuwen Lan nodded and said, "This term is quite unique."0

He then asked, "So, how did this scumbag deceive the woman?"0

Yanshu coughed and said, "This man actually had a preference for men, and he didn't like women at all. But to keep up appearances, he still married and had children. However, after that, he left his wife in their hometown to take care of his parents, while he kept male lovers elsewhere, which was very outrageous."0

Yuwen Lan listened and secretly raised an eyebrow. Wasn't this talking about Chai Weizhong, the Vice Minister of War?0

It seemed that each of her stories corresponded to a real person.0

He lightly coughed and said, "Indeed outrageous. However, it's not uncommon for men to work outside while women stay at home to serve their in-laws. How did his wife discover that she had been deceived?"0

Yanshu thought as she spoke, "One winter, the man's elderly mother suddenly fell ill. After receiving treatment in their hometown for a long time without improvement, she wanted to seek her son's help to invite a famous doctor in the city to examine her."0

"Originally, they should have sent a letter, but it happened that it had been snowing for days, delaying the mail. The wife was also worried about her mother-in-law's condition, so she simply took the whole family on the journey."0

"However, after a long and tiring journey, when they arrived at the mansion in the city, she discovered that her husband was actually involved with men, and all the women in the mansion were actually men in disguise."0

Yuwen Lan played along, feigning surprise, "How could such a thing happen?"0

Yanshu nodded and continued, "After all, this lady had been managing the household for so many years. She wasn't a fool. After a bit of thought, she understood her husband's secret."0

Yuwen Lan nodded, "That's one way to do it."0

Yanshu found this remark strange, "Why does Your Majesty say it like that?"0

Yuwen Lan coughed and said, "I mean, your way of writing is very good."0

He quickly changed the subject and asked, "So how did this lady become self-reliant?"0

Yanshu began to imagine, "After discovering the truth, she cried her heart out. After that, she insisted on divorcing the scumbag and used her excellent embroidery skills to open an embroidery shop. Through hard work and management, she finally lived a life of her own making. As for the scumbag, his ugly deeds were exposed, bringing him great shame. Not only did he lose his job, but he also angered his parents half to death. From then on, he was ruined and left with nothing!"0

Then she asked him, "What does Your Majesty think of this ending?"0

Yuwen Lan said, "A weak woman who has long been managing household affairs might be too simple-minded to open an embroidery shop."0

Yanshu pouted and said, "This is just a novel. It's meant to make people feel good when they read it. If we have to write it exactly like reality, people might feel depressed after reading it."0

Ah, it was just her beautiful imagination. She had heard that the poor Mrs. Chai was just a simple housewife, and it was uncertain whether she could escape her misery in this lifetime.0

But Yuwen Lan nodded, "That makes sense. Where there's a will, there's a way. Anything is possible."0

Yanshu nodded, suddenly remembering something important, and hurriedly asked him, "By the way, did Your Majesty bring back the manuscript you took away a few days ago?"0

Yuwen Lan was stunned, "...Not yet."0

Yanshu became a bit anxious, "That's a very important thing for me. You didn't lose it, did you?"0

Damn, that piece took her three whole days to write! If it was lost, she might just want to kill someone!0

Yuwen Lan, "..."0

So scary.0

He quickly explained, "Of course I didn't lose it. I came from the Palace of Benevolent Peace and didn't bring it with me. I'll have someone send it to you later."0

Yanshu could only agree.0

Yuwen Lan paused and then asked, "Why didn't you tell me about Taohua's insubordination before?"0

Yanshu thought to herself that at that time, she was just a nameless beauty. Even if she wanted to tell him, he wouldn't have heard.0

Out loud, she said, "This humble consort had no concrete evidence at the time, so it wasn't appropriate to say anything even if I wanted to."0

Yuwen Lan asked again, "Then why did you ask Fu Hai to investigate?"0

Could it be that she could foresee that Zhang Cairen would make false accusations today?0

But he heard her think, [Times have changed. Now I have you as a powerful backer to rely on, so of course I should seek revenge when I can. They've bullied me to this extent, if I don't fight back, wouldn't I be a pushover?]0

Yuwen Lan, "..."0

But he heard her say out loud, "This humble consort just suddenly remembered it a few days ago, so I mentioned it to Chief Eunuch Fu."0

Yuwen Lan glanced at Fu Hai and said, "It seems Fu Hai is more useful than me."0

Upon hearing this, Fu Hai was so frightened that he immediately knelt down, "This slave wouldn't dare. Actually, Li Beauty knew that Your Majesty was busy with state affairs and didn't want to trouble you with this, so she just mentioned it to this slave. This slave also felt that this matter was indeed suspicious, so I had someone ask around."0

Yuwen Lan said, "Considering that you caught the culprit this time, you may rise."0

Fu Hai dared to stand up again only after hearing this.0

Yanshu watched from the side, her heart pounding.0

She thought to herself, "Indeed, serving the emperor is like serving a tiger. This Grand Steward Fu doesn't have it easy."0

At that moment, she suddenly remembered something important and hurriedly said, "Your Majesty, I think the physician at today's ceremony was quite remarkable. I hope he won't face retaliation for speaking the truth."0

Yuwen Lan replied, "I have my own arrangements. Don't worry."0

These days, it was rare to find someone who dared to speak the truth without fear of power. He would naturally take this opportunity to reward him, to show his determination to punish evil and promote good.0

Yanshu felt somewhat relieved, but then heard the emperor ask her, "Is the matter about the salary true?"0

Yanshu looked puzzled and said, "How dare I deceive you, Your Majesty? If you don't believe me, you can call in Xiao Dongzi and the others to verify."0

Hearing this, Lianxin immediately knelt on the ground, her eyes filled with tears, and said, "This servant swears to heaven that my mistress has never spoken falsely to Your Majesty. A few years ago, when my father fell ill and our family's savings were exhausted, it was thanks to the silver my mistress gave me that my brother was able to start a family."0

Yanshu inwardly scoffed, [Do they think everyone's life is so easy? Behind the gates of the rich, meat and wine go to waste, while the poor freeze to death on the streets!]0

Yuwen Lan: "..."0

So now he was in the wrong?0

He glanced at her and said, "You're tight on money yourself, yet you help others?"0

Yanshu pouted, "No matter how tight I am, I still have food and shelter in the palace. If I don't help them, their families won't be able to get by. Besides, keeping them content helps them stay in the palace, doesn't it?"0

Yuwen Lan raised an eyebrow, "You do have a point."0

But then he heard her mutter in her mind, [After saying all this, shouldn't he reward me with some silver?]0

Yuwen Lan: "???"0

Why was this girl's mind always on money?0

He felt playful and decided to test her, asking, "You've been wronged this time. Should I compensate you somehow?"0

Really?0

Yanshu's eyes lit up, and she quickly said, "Thank you for your consideration, Your Majesty. Actually, I don't need any compensation. As long as Your Majesty believes me, I'm content."0

[Actually, it doesn't need to be much, just a casual reward of eight hundred or a thousand taels would be enough, hehe. If not, even three to five hundred taels would do. I'm not picky.]0

She was rubbing her hands together in her mind, but then heard him say, "Very well, it's rare to see you so magnanimous and sensible."0

Yanshu: "???"0

What?0

What did that mean???0

She was just being polite, couldn't he tell???0

Yuwen Lan hid his smile and said with a serious face, "It's getting late. I need to go back and read some memorials. You can continue writing."0

With that, he stood up and walked out.0

Yanshu: "???"0

Hey, hey, is that it? What about my compensation?!0

That's so unfair!0

Yuwen Lan silently listened, and as he stepped out of the hall, he finally couldn't help but curl his lips into a smile.0

He had to admit, spending a little time with her had greatly improved his mood.0

Returning to Qianming Palace, Yuwen Lan changed his clothes in the bedchamber before heading to the study.0

Before leaving, he casually instructed Fu Hai, "Remember to have someone send the manuscript I read the other night to Ganlu Palace."0

If he forgot again, who knows how she would grumble about him.0

Fu Hai complied and quickly pointed to Xiao Shunzi at the door, "You're quick on your feet, go deliver this to Li Beauty."0

Xiao Shunzi agreed, took the manuscript, and headed out.0

When he reached the gate of Qianming Palace, he ran into Hanlin Academy Scholar Zou Mozhong.0

Scholar Zou, in his forties and quite erudite, immediately became curious upon seeing the stack of papers in Xiao Shunzi's hands. "Is this an imperial edict?" he asked.0

Xiao Shunzi scratched his head and replied, "I don't think so. It's from His Majesty's bedchamber, and I was told to deliver it to Li Beauty."0

Oh, so it was for a consort.0

Zou Mozhong knew he shouldn't pry, but seeing the papers densely covered in writing, seemingly like an article, he couldn't help but grow more curious. He asked, "Could this be an article personally written by His Majesty?"0

Xiao Shunzi shook his head again, "I don't know."0

Scholar Zou boldly took a closer look and saw that the handwriting was messy and clearly not His Majesty's.0

However, the sentences were quite interesting, like some kind of story.0

He wanted to ask more, but Xiao Shunzi, worried about delays, hurried off.0

Scholar Zou had no choice but to head to the imperial study first.0

-- As a Hanlin Academy Scholar responsible for drafting imperial edicts, and due to the day's events at the Hall of Supreme Harmony, the emperor had issued three edicts to investigate officials for corruption, bribery, and accepting bribes. Zou Mozhong had come to draft these edicts for the emperor.0

Soon, all three imperial edicts were drafted and presented to the emperor for review. Yuwen Lan looked them over and then ordered the Department of Imperial Ceremonies to go out and proclaim the edicts.0

Zou Mozhong, however, did not take his leave. He hesitated, seeming to have something to say.0

Yuwen Lan asked, "Is there something else?"0

Zou Mozhong smiled and said, "Just now, at the palace gate, I happened to see the manuscript Your Majesty bestowed upon Li Beauty. I wonder whose masterpiece it is?"0

Masterpiece?0

Yuwen Lan raised an eyebrow, "You saw it?"0

Zou Mozhong smiled, "I only caught a glimpse, but I could see that the words and phrases were brilliant, certainly not an ordinary work."0

Brilliant?0

Yuwen Lan continued to raise his eyebrow, "Does Scholar Zou truly think so?"0

Scholar Zou nodded firmly, "I wouldn't dare speak falsely."0

Ahem, the literary merit was secondary. He mainly felt that the story was quite different from the current popular novels, with a very unique style.0

Moreover, this was personally bestowed by the emperor to his beloved consort. It must be a masterpiece to have caught the emperor's eye!0

As a close minister to the emperor, he must closely follow His Majesty's tastes and not fall behind.0

Yuwen Lan silently listened and then nodded, "Scholar Zou indeed has good taste."0

But then he heard the other say, "So I dare to ask, might I have the honor of admiring this masterpiece?"0

Yuwen Lan thought for a moment, "I need to get the author's consent first. Wait for news."0