Monroe

Chapter Twenty-four. Ribs.

While Bob didn't know how to field dress an animal, he did have an extra-dimensional inventory space that he was able to stuff twelve boar corpses in.

After another hour of boar slaughter, Harv and Elli had escorted him back up out of the Dungeon for a meal, at which point Bob broached the topic of the boars.

"So, is there a place that would pay me for the bodies of those boars?"

Elli shrugged and replied, "There are a couple of butchers and a couple of tanners, but neither one is going to be interested in the whole beast."

Harv shook his head, "No, if he wants to sell whole bodies, his best bet is the Huntsman - you'll get less than you would for the parts, but more than you would by going to the butcher or tanner," he said.

Elli looked around a bit furtively and leaned forward as he whispered, "You have them stored in that special space you've got?"

Bob nodded.

Elli went on, still speaking in a whisper, "Best to pick up a backpack then, you're too low of a level to have that sort of magic, but an item, when you're being shepherded, won't be remarked on."

Harv spoke up, "Those boars are six hundred pounds, about four hundred of it good meat. Figure fifty pounds of bacon, which always sells well, a hundred and fifty pounds of chops, steaks, and ribs, another seventy-five of ham, and the rest is going for sausage."

That was oddly specific. "I take it you know how to butcher animals?" Bob asked.

Harv nodded and jerked a thumb at Elli, "The deal is that I'll butcher them, but he has to cook them," he said.

Elli waved Harv and said, "Huntsman will give you a round and a half for each of them."

Bob considered that for a moment. Assuming one pound of meat a day to feed a person, the meat was probably worth a bit less than a round a pound. Heh. Of course, you didn't normally just eat a chunk of meat for your meal, so something else had to come into play.

He shook his head. Regardless, there was a disconnect somewhere, as the boar should be worth something like three hundred rounds even after the butcher took a cut before delivering it to the tavern or the restaurant. They did have restaurants, Harv and Elli had mentioned that you could find other places to eat than the Guild.

"The math isn't adding up for me, Kelli said you could get three good meals for a round a day, and a meal that was primarily meat would have a quarter of a pound of meat, so a boar should be worth something like three hundred rounds," Bob said.

Harv shook his head, "Kelli is a good enough sort, but he was born and raised in the Guild. His ideas of what things cost are grossly inflated, mostly due to the fact that as Adventurers, our primary currency tends to be crystals, which start at a round each."

Elli nodded and chimed in, "Here at the Guild, three meals are a round, as is a room. There are four places in Holmstead where you can get three meals for a bit, and a private room in a bunkhouse for two bits."

Harv spread his arms and gestured around the tavern, "It's sort of an unspoken rule that Adventurers keep the daily expenses inside the guild," he said, "at least the active Adventurers. We try to only buy things at the shops that accept crystals, and if we eat outside the Guild, we go to one of the eateries that cater to us."

"The fact of the matter is," Harv said, "that if we were of a mind, a dozen Adventurers, with the right skill sets, and a bit of space set aside out of the Dungeon, could easily feed five hundred people a day."

Elli interrupted to add, "And when a new village is founded, they normally do."

Bob raised a hand to head off the conversation and said, "That is something I'd like to hear a lot more about, possibly over dinner. For now though, to make sure I understand, the prices in the guild are inflated by a factor of ten?"

Elli and Harv shrugged, then they both nodded. "Pretty much. But you're already at the point where all that matters to you is crystals," Elli said.

Harv leaned back in and whispered again, "Also, most people have to butcher the boar, and carry it up as a team."

Elli nodded. "To be frank, if you weren't scrambling for coin right now, I'd just suggest you sell it to the Guild's kitchen for a crystal per boar."

Bob considered that. "I think I will," he said, "I don't want to stand out, and delivering twelve boars to the Huntsman would probably stand out."

Harv nodded.

"And," Bob continued, "it seems like the people in the Guild are more likely to remain quiet about it."

Elli said, "We'll introduce you to Kevin, he's in charge of the larder, he'll be happy to keep quiet about a nice influx of bacon."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Kevin was indeed happy to have an influx of bacon.

Harv and Elli led Bob through the kitchen, which housed an entire wall of ovens and four cauldrons big enough to bathe in. There was an office to the far rear left, where a tall, wide man in an apron was scribbling something in a ledger.

"Elli, Harv," he greeted them as they entered the office, dusting his hand off on his apron before shaking their hands.

"Kevin," Elli said as he gestured to Bob, "I'd like you to meet Bob, your new best friend."

"Oh really?" Kevin said, as he looked Bob up and down, then offered his hand, which Bob shook. "And why is that I'll come to value Bob above all others?" he said in a jovial tone.

"Take us down to the larder and he'll show you," said Harv with a mischievous grin.

With a raised eyebrow, Kevin shrugged and started walking down a set of stairs that had been hidden behind his desk.

Bob followed, with Harv and Elli bringing up the rear.

As he descended the stairs, Bob was struck by how clean the thermocline layer was. As his shoulders dipped below the floor, he shivered and he noticed immediately that his breath was fogging as soon as his head breached that level as well.

The stairs opened into a large room, where racks of meat and various dressed animals were stacked on shelves, or hung on hooks.

Kevin walked up to a large metal counter and turned to face them.

Elli nudged him with an elbow, and said, "Make with the meat Bob."

Bob walked up to the table, holding his hand over it, then pulled a boar out of his inventory with a thud.

Kevin raised an eyebrow again, and said, "Impressive."

Harv laughed and said, "Go ahead Bob."

Bob sighed. He didn't see the humor in the situation. But this was the delivery station for boars apparently, so he rapidly deployed nine more boars onto the counter, creating a pyramid four wide at the base, and causing the table to creak ominously.

Kevin peered around the pile of boars. He cleared his throat. "Well, I stand corrected," he said, "that was impressive."

He shook his head as he walked around the table. He looked at Bob and said, "I'll be happy to keep this magic trick to myself, and I'll pay you a crystal for each boar you bring me."

"I've got two more if you've got room," Bob said.

"Just drop them on the floor, they aren't dressed so it doesn't matter," Kevin said.

Bob complied, and Kevin dug into a pouch in his apron, produced twelve crystals, and handed them to Bob.

"Do you have Dimension magic?" Kevin asked abruptly.

"Yes?" Bob responded cautiously.

"Good," Kevin replied, "once you hit level fifteen or so, this sort of thing won't raise too many eyebrows. I'd keep it under my hat for now though."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As he was pushing through the brambles to return to his boar hunting spot, Bob noted that his experience bar for his Summon Monster spell looked lower than it should be.

He mentally started swearing when he realized that the jump from level five to six wasn't one thousand experience as the previous levels had been, but two thousand.

Bob didn't close his eyes, but he did focus on his breathing. It didn't matter. He needed to kill so many boars that he'd easily level the spell. Hell, he'd killed three hundred and sixty-eight already, and that was just this morning. Those were worth seven hundred and thirty-six experience, so he only needed to kill another six hundred and thirty-two more.

Of course, his Magical school of summoning had been at exactly half, or five thousand to go, which meant another twenty-five hundred boars. Or as he was going to call it, just another Tuesday.

He reached his destination and started summoning out UtahRaptors before leaving the safety of Harv and Elli's presence.

Time to put in the work.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Bob was so tired of killing boars. Another three hours had passed, and another three hundred and sixty boars had given their lives to fuel his rescue of Monroe.

Bob would kill a million if it meant saving Monroe.

It did help that they were all trying to kill him. Bob was really just self-defensing monsters to death.

As he settled down to the table he was surprised to see Bailli headed his way, a genuine smile on her face.

"I hear you're the reason we have a whole boar tonight," she said with a pleasant tone to her voice, entirely at odds with the ice that had been there at breakfast.

"Level six," he responded cautiously, "Harv and Elli helped me bring one back."

"To the victor go the spoils," she said, "what would you prefer, chops, a steak, or ribs?"

"Ribs," Bob half asked.

"And for you two?" Bailli asked Harv and Elli, who both responded at the same time, "Steak."

Bailli whirled and headed for the kitchen.

"Is that normal?" Bob quietly asked.

"Yes," said Harv.

"You still pay for the meal," Elli continued, "but you get the first choice as to what you'd like from it."

Bob nodded, then asked, "Should I slip down to the larder and drop off this load?"

"Wait till after dinner," Harv suggested.

Bailli arrived with a plate holding half a rack of ribs, smothered in some sort of rich brown sauce.

Bob hadn't ever had ribs before, but these certainly smelled good.

He cut a piece of meat of a rib, and slowly chewed it.

It was good. It was damn good. This was what rich people ate. The sauce was a little sweet and a little spicy.

Bob considered that if he was done in academia, becoming a chef was a career he could pursue happily.

Elli and Harv tore through their steaks with gusto, while Bob took his time.

He considered that while everyone appreciated the food they ate here, they seemed to take it for granted.

Or maybe, he thought darkly, living like a pauper had given him a bland idea of what food was supposed to be like.

'Focus,' he thought as he chewed. Eat dinner, drop off twelve boars, go kill another three hundred and sixty of them.

'Work hard, be respectful, stay fit, eat healthily, and keep moving forward,' he thought.

The food here was probably healthier than ramen and a multivitamin, he was definitely getting his exercise, he was keeping his mouth shut, and putting in the work. That would move him forward.

Bob stared forward, his eyes unfocused as he ate, wondering if level six in summon monster and level one in the summoning school would be enough to increase his boar-per-minute killing speed, unaware of the concerned looks traded by Elli and Harv.