Maybe a Fake Gintama

Chapter 531: There Comes a Time in Life When One Wishes to Drink

Boom! Yet another simple shot left Matako covered in soot, her hair styled into an afro.

"Damn it!" she cursed, pulling out her twin pistols without hesitation.

"Matako! Calm down! You don't want us all left to remain here forever, do you?" Bansai quickly intervened to stop her.

"Let's go back," Kawaki said to Tsukuyo beside him before turning to leave first.

Tsukuyo glanced at Takasugi on the ship and then turned to follow Kawaki with the rest of the Hyakka members.

Takasugi also turned his back at the same time, leaning against the mast and looking up at the stars that had appeared unknowingly.

...

"Is it really okay?" Tsukuyo asked softly, walking beside Kawaki.

"It doesn't matter," Kawaki responded leisurely. "Although it's a bit of a pity, it's not worth starting a fight with Takaji over a present."

"What are you talking about? That was a present I prepared with a lot of effort for a certain unadorable nephew," Kawaki shrugged nonchalantly.

"You knew Takasugi was also looking for that vixen, didn't you?"

"I didn't know."

"But you only left two Hyakka members guarding... You knew this would happen from the start, didn't you?"

"Tsukki, it's sometimes better for a woman to be a bit naive," Kawaki remarked softly, then raised a finger and continued, "Of course, boobs and face are important too."

"Hmph, whatever," Tsukuyo snorted coldly, "There were no casualties among the Hyakka so I won't pursue this matter further. But... stop doing dangerous things, I... the Hyakka will be very troubled."

"Tsukki, you..." Kawaki suddenly stopped, held his chin, and stared at Tsukuyo with a severe gaze.

"What's wrong?" Tsukuyo, feeling unnerved by his stare, asked defensively.

"Are you sick?" Kawaki asked suspiciously. "Are you feverish? Those words don't sound like they would come from you."

"Ah, I'm sick!" Tsukuyo immediately pulled out two kunai and harshly stabbed them into Kawaki's head.

"Ah!" Kawaki screamed, falling to the ground and rolling around. "What are you doing?! Why would you stab them straight in?! It hurts! It might not cause injury, but it still hurts! Damn it!"

...

That night, in Kawaki's room in Yoshiwara.

Lying sprawled on the floor, Kawaki stared blankly at the ceiling and the light above.

"What's wrong? Got scolded harshly?" Tsukuyo leaned against the doorframe, her arms crossed and a kiseru in her hand, asking lightly.

"Ah, something about being unreliable... got a thorough scolding," Kawaki responded casually.

"Really, what a doting uncle," Tsukuyo scoffed slightly, then showed a serious expression, "Kawaki, I never want to see that version of you again, the one who... suffers."

Remembering the day Kawaki faced a group of mercenaries called Shinra without any emotion or light in his eyes, just mechanically swinging his umbrella, mercilessly slaughtering... life after life.

Watching Kawaki covered in the blood of his enemies yet continuing to kill, Tsukuyo had remained silent. She thought it would have been better to stand by his side at that time, but... maybe it wasn't necessary. He avoided all attacks, and all enemies... were killed by him without showing any emotions. He didn't need anyone by his side.

But precisely because of that, he... might have been suffering then, and she felt pain in her heart as well...

"Tsukki," Kawaki suddenly sat up, smiling and said, "Good night."

With that, Kawaki stood went up, and walked toward his bedroom.

Watching his back, which seemed to carry a mixture of laziness and indescribable emotions, Tsukuyo felt a tug at her heart.

"Do you want to drink tonight?" she asked.

"Huh? Why?" Kawaki stopped and turned around, puzzled. "There doesn't seem to be anything to celebrate."

Yawning, he added, "Well, never mind, I'm really tired tonight, good night."

"Oh... oh," Tsukuyo stammered a response, then put down the bottle of liquor she was holding, though her eyes clearly showed a hint of disappointment.

Reaching his bedroom door, just as Kawaki was about to open it, he seemed to remember something and turned back to Tsukuyo, smiling. "You know, after you mentioned it, I kind of do feel like having a drink."

...

Looking at the cup of liquor in his hand, Kawaki, sitting on the rooftop, instructed Tsukuyo beside him, "Hey, you absolutely must not drink! Absolutely not!"

"I've heard it several times, I know!" Tsukuyo turned away, her cheeks flushing as she responded.

Sighing contentedly after downing a full cup, Kawaki remarked, "Sometimes, liquor really is a good thing. No, it should be said that as long as you're alive, there will be times when you want to drink."

Just then, he thought of something else, "But not you."

"You used to drink together often before, didn't you?"

"Back then, yes," Kawaki looked up at the starry sky, somewhat nostalgically, "Indeed, there were times when we would sit together and toast, but somehow, we can't go back to that, and we can't even say exactly when things started to change. Maybe from the start, we were never really heading in the same direction. I... might have been going against them from the beginning. But now, this feeling isn't so bad, because compared to those bad boys, I still like women a bit more."

With that, Kawaki turned to look at Tsukuyo, but seeing her chugging a bottle, his whole demeanor collapsed.

"Hahaha... come on, drink!" Tsukuyo, now drunk, called out laughingly.

"Really..." Kawaki shook his head in resignation, then swiftly delivered a karate chop to Tsukuyo's neck.

She closed her eyes slowly and fell into a deep sleep.

"Not... not going to let you be alone..." Tsukuyo murmured softly.

Smiling gently, Kawaki lifted Tsukuyo in a princess carry, took the remaining half bottle of liquor from her hand, and said, "Alright, time to go to sleep."

With that, he jumped down from the roof.

"You two, take Tsukki back to her room," Kawaki handed the sleeping Tsukuyo to two Hyakka members who had just finished their patrol, then yawned and walked away, not forgetting to wave a hand, "I'm going to sleep too. Good night～"

"Good night, Kawaki-sama." the members echoed.

...

At two o'clock in the morning, Kawaki was woken up by Tsukuyo.

"Hey, give me a break," he opened his eyes, glanced at the bedside clock, and shifted his position, "You woke me up at just two o'clock, after I spent so much effort subduing you when you were drunk yesterday, let me sleep a little more..."

"You... you..." Tsukuyo, her face flushed, pointed at Kawaki and stammered, "What exactly did you do to me yesterday?! Wh... why are my clothes off?"

"Don't worry, I didn't do anything, and it was the Hyakka who took you back to your room," Kawaki sighed, waved his hand dismissively, and continued, "Anyway, stop bothering me, I'm so sleepy... But then again, you've been in Yoshiwara for so long; why are you so naive about these things? Didn't you ever pass health class?"

"Waking up to find yourself undressed and feeling nauseous and sick... usually isn't that because of... you know what?"

"Give me a break..." Kawaki let out a sigh of resignation. Did you wake me up for such a trivial reason? There should be a limit to how bad your health class can be. Feeling nauseous and wanting to vomit is just because of a hangover. Who told you to drink half a bottle of strong liquor? And do I look like someone who would do anything to you? Anyway, please leave, or at least keep quiet; I'm so tired... ZZZ..."

Tsukuyo lowered her head, pondering quietly for a moment, then knelt by Kawaki's head.

"Well... why don't you go out?" Kawaki opened his eyes and murmured, "Forget what I just said."

"No, it's more convenient to stay here since I have to wake you up in the morning anyway," Tsukuyo explained calmly, "I've had enough sleep anyway."

Kawaki rubbed his hair in irritation, "Hey! Don't go to far! Why stay here for such a silly reason? It's creepy to have someone sitting next to you when you're trying to sleep! It's hard to fall asleep like that! It's distracting! And could you stop smoking? Cough, it's choking me!"

Seeing Tsukuyo unmoved, Kawaki got up, grabbed his pillow and blanket and walked to the door.

"This room is yours for now; I'll sleep in your room."

Kawaki noticed Tsukuyo following right behind him as he finished speaking and said, "Hey, what exactly are you trying to do? Are you doing this on purpose?"

"No, I've already explained," Tsukuyo replied casually.

"Do you really think I'm an idiot?" Looked at her with disdain.

"I... can't sleep."

Kawaki, "..."

...

"That should do it; please stay in this position and don't move," Kawaki instructed as he looked at Tsukuyo lying in the bed and nodded, "Close your eyes, and try not to think about anything."

'Eh? What am I... doing exactly? And what's the situation now?' Tsukuyo suddenly realized, thinking, 'Is this man... planning to do what he didn't get to do on our last date?!'

"AHH～" Kawaki yawned as he pulled out another blanket from the cupboard, laid it next to him, and quickly crawled in. Within half a minute, Kawaki was snoring.

'Just sleeping?' Tsukuyo opened her eyes to see Kawaki beside her, his eyes closed, drooling and snoring, and thought.

Pfft——!

"Hey, isn't this enough already?" Kawaki pulled the kunai from his head, his eyes bloodshot, and roared in anger. "What does your insomnia have to do with me?! It's your own problem!"

"No, it's because you caused me unnecessary misunderstandings that made me unable to sleep, so... you need to take responsibility." Tsukuyo said without blushing and then pointed at Kawaki's blanket, "Switch with me; that one seems more comfortable to sleep in."

"One last time..." Kawaki gritted his teeth and replied after swapping blankets.

Once again, it was only seconds before Kawaki was back to sleep.

But before two minutes passed, Kawaki was awakened again.

"Hey, is this ever going to end?" Opened his bloodshot eyes and stared down at Tsukuyo on his head.

"It seems like this blanket is more comfortable to sleep in." Tsukuyo pointed at Kawaki's blanket.

"So basically, you're saying I should sleep in that one?" Kawaki's forehead vein throbbed.

Tsukuyo thought for a moment, then nodded slightly, "It seems so."

"Then come on." Saying this, Kawaki pulled Tsukuyo into the blanket.

"I..."

"Good night..." After saying this, he turned his back, slowly closed his eyes, and within three seconds, his snoring began again.

'Why has it turned out this way?!' Tsukuyo, her face flushed and her heart racing, thought, 'What was I trying to do? This situation has made me forget what I originally wanted to do!'

...

At eight in the morning, he opened his eyes to see Tsukuyo beside him, staring at him with bloodshot eyes.

"Good... morning," Tsukuyo said haltingly.

"You're really an idiot," Kawaki smiled, then raised a finger, "Tsukki, look here."

"What... what is it?"

"Of course..." Kawaki sneakily extended his other hand as he spoke and aimed a karate chop at the back of Tsukuyo's neck.

"Mmm..." Tsukuyo whimpered as she quickly fainted.

Gently shaking his head, Kawaki sat up, scooped Tsukuyo into a princess carry, got up, and headed toward the door.

...

Breakfast time.

"Where's Sister Tsukuyo?" Seita asked curiously.

"She couldn't sleep last night; she just fell asleep," Kawaki replied nonchalantly.

"Why would you know Sister Tsukuyo couldn't sleep?"

"Who do you think she bothered after she couldn't sleep?" Kawaki asked flatly, "Do you know what it feels like to see a dark figure by your bed at two in the morning?"

"Mm..." Seita paused for a moment before quietly responding, "You have my sympathies."