Maybe a Fake Gintama

Chapter 521: Perfection Can Be Nauseating, A Little Flaw Is Necessary

"Let's just get down to business," Kawaki said dismissively. "We could skip it over, but out of politeness, I'll say just a bit."

With that, Kawaki clapped his hands lightly.

Immediately, three ladies from Hyakka entered the room, each carrying golden items. Notably, the three large gold items were two large spheres and a cylinder.

The Hyakka ladies placed the three gold objects on the ground.

"Kawaki-sama, these are the three most valuable remaining items from the Phoenix Treasure Vault," one of the Hyakka ladies announced.

Looking at the trio of golden objects, which together resembled something obscene, Kawaki was silent for a long time before he finally muttered, "Um... the shape looks a bit like... something I see every day in the bathroom. Is it just me?"

...

"Cough, cough," after the Hyakka ladies had left, Kawaki cleared his throat and continued, "As you can see, although the shapes might be odd, they are all made of pure gold. You three divide them among yourselves as a token of apology for my intrusion on your trash classification meeting."

"Hmph," Otose smirked, picking up one of the golden spheres, "I'll take a gold sphere since the store also has a TAMA (little ball)."

"Then, I'll take a gold sphere too," Jirochou picked up the other sphere, "after all, it's best to keep one's TAMA (life) in one's own hands."

"Hey, are you doing this on purpose? Why leave me with this kind of thing?" Saigou's forehead throbbed with a visible vein.

"Now that the gifts are accepted, let's discuss the real matter at hand," Kawaki nodded. "But where should I start? Let me think a bit."

"Hey, I didn't say I accepted the gift. I want one of those round, golden spheres, too! Why do I only get this useless gold rod?" Saigou complained unhappily.

"An Okama... shouldn't need a gold sphere, right?" Otose casually replied, cigarette in hand.

"Hey, I'll kill you, you old hag!" Saigou yelled, spittle flying.

"Got it, got it, I remember now!" Kawaki suddenly opened his eyes wide, cleared his throat again, and said, "Um, actually, I have an utterly unadorable nephew... ah, that's not right; he was a tiny bit adorable as a kid, just a tiny bit, though. Now, he's completely not cute at all. The last time I saw him, he was trying to attack me."

"Why are you ignoring me?" Saigou interrupted.

"But even though he's not cute at all this time, he actually asked me for a gift. You all must understand the feeling, right? When a junior directly asks for a gift," Kawaki explained, looking at the three. "The last time I gave him a gift was when he was very young. I handed him something I didn't really know how to use. This time, he asked for something specific, and as his elder, I..."

"Kawaki, don't worry! Since it's a gift my nephew wants, I'll help you find whatever it is!" Saigou earnestly replied.

The next moment...

Ignoring Saigou, who was punched into the ceiling and hanging there, Kawaki continued, "Basically, that's it. I'm here just to find that gift for my not-at-all-cute nephew."

"It's impressive, just to get a gift for the kid; you wiped out an entire Shinra army," Jirochou commented while petting the cat in his lap.

"Ah, couldn't help it; keeping them would've been troublesome," Kawaki said casually.

"So, did you find it? The 'gift'?" Otose glanced at Kawaki and asked.

"Ah, the one giving me a head massage right now, this Blackbeard whose murderous aura can't be hidden," Kawaki replied casually.

Hearing this, Kada's expression could no longer hold, and her hands transformed into claws, her fingertips stabbing toward Kawaki's temples.

However, just as Kada was about to succeed, several kunai flew straight in from the doorway, hitting both of Kada's hands and... Kawaki's forehead.

"Ah—!" Kada screamed and fell backward.

!

"Tsukki, um... next time you throw a kunai, could you give a heads-up first..." Kawaki muttered as he pulled the kunai from his forehead, then turned back with a bloodied forehead, smiling at Kada, "Don't worry, I won't let you die. After all, I promised him I'd deliver you alive."

"Harusame won't let you off! The debts of the Second Division and my Fourth Division will be settled with you sooner or later!" Kada said fiercely.

"Ah, you really are a pitiful guy. Didn't you hear anything about Harusame when you were there? Or do you think those guys would really dare to seek revenge? Does Harusame Elders need to learn about my activities on Earth? Do you know why they've been silent?" Kawaki asked, arms crossed and lightly touching his chin, a hint of annoyance on his face.

"They..." Kada's eyes widened in realization, "Are they... afraid of you? Afraid of just one person like you?!"

"Who knows..." Kawaki's palm gently swept up his face, and something astonishing happened—the blood and the wound on his forehead from the kunai instantly disappeared.

"Indeed, what a monster. Do Yato really have such strong regenerative abilities?" Jirochou thought to himself.

"Maybe you've misunderstood something; the current you and Harusame might not be on the same side," Kawaki said, narrowing his eyes and smiling. "Or should I say, Harusame now harbors significant resentment against you? After all, running off with their money isn't much different from Blackbeard killing his mate and stealing the Dark-Dark Fruit."

"How could you know that?!" Kada was incredulous, then suddenly thought of something, "You... you... did you collaborate with Harusame?!"

"How could I possibly collaborate with such boring stuff," Kawaki waved dismissively, "I'm not the type to rely on Harusame's power for some purpose. I'm just giving an unlovable nephew a gift he wanted."

"Who?!"

"Just the chief of your old lover's development gallery," Kawaki said casually, then asked Jirochou and Otose again, "Since we're also called the Four Devas, I should ask for your opinion. Can I take this vixen away? By the way, I have no intention of being your enemy. Of course, if you insist on thinking that way, I don't mind."

"If we were to disagree, would eliminating us be simpler for you than taking this vixen?" Jirochou asked, curving his lips slightly.

"No, no matter how I think about it, that would be much more troublesome," Kawaki shrugged, "But I think I've been polite enough, and I've also helped you a great deal, haven't I? You know, a triangle is the sturdiest shape."

"What an incredible junior," Jirochou chuckled, "Well, I have no objections. Without her, the casinos of Kabukicho would all have returned to my hands, which would have been beneficial for me. I'll have my men take over that casino today."

"Boring," Otose scoffed, then glanced at Kawaki, "But this time, I might actually need to thank you on behalf of the people of this street. You've likely averted a potential war before it could break out. However, meddling in the affairs of another's street is a bit too much, Kawaki..."

"So, haven't I already apologized?" Kawaki smiled.

"That's exactly why I feel uncomfortable. You... your meticulousness in your actions irritates me a bit... I thought you'd be similar to Gintoki in your approach, but I was wrong. In some ways, you... are many times more dangerous than him..."

"Hahaha, you really know how to joke. But it seems you've tacitly agreed. Two tacit consents and one verbal agreement, so I'll be taking this vixen with me..." Kawaki said, clapping his hands again.

Two Hyakka ladies appeared instantly in the room.

"You two, take this vixen and lock her up," Kawaki instructed with a smile.

"Yes!" the two Hyakka ladies responded simultaneously, and then each took one of Kada's arms and headed towards the door.

"Aren't you leaving?" Otose asked lightly.

"I'll be leaving soon. After all, I gave up my nap and gaming today for this gift, so... goodbye." Kawaki stood up to leave but then paused as if he remembered something and looked at Jirochou, "By the way, I saw a very interesting little fox on my way here."

Hearing this, Jirochou's expression changed slightly, and the cat in his lap startled, yelped, and jumped down, rushing towards the door.

At the same time, Jirochou unhesitatingly drew his sword and was about to chop at his own left arm.

"Whoa!" Kawaki quickly grabbed Jirochou's hand, feigning confusion, "What are you doing? Don't do something so dangerous again. What exactly did you misunderstand?"

"Kid..." Jirochou chuckled and put away his sword.

"Well, you might have misunderstood. I actually quite like that little fox," Kawaki smiled, "and I even gave her a little help. After all, what she wants to do seems quite interesting."